To teach you the ability to love and be loved, welcome to the Love Business Workshop, I am Zhixuan.
Many students have sent me this question, why do I think I've done enough, but he's just not satisfied?
The reason is that you are not using the other person's love language.
What are love languages? It's the language of love, and everyone expresses and receives love differently. A lot of times you think you've done a good job, but she's still not satisfied, because the way you express your love is not acceptable to him. In other words, what you give is not what she wants.
If he wants you to prove your love for her with action, and you can only say good news, then wear out his lips he can not listen to; if he needs you to give him companionship, then you send her more precious gifts she can not feel your love.
Everyone's love language is different, if you and your other half happen to love you the same, then congratulations. If it's not the same, then don't worry because it's hard to find two people with the exact same love language.
So the point is, you have to observe and analyze your significant other to find out what his love language is. And then in the process of relationship with him consciously or unconsciously through this to show, then your relationship will be more harmonious.
What are the types of love languages?
Through years of teaching practice, we have summarized the five types of love languages, which are words, actions, companionship, gifts, and services.
Words
Use positive words to encourage, thank, and praise each other. When the other person hears praises and compliments from their beloved, they are sure to be motivated and more willing to return the favor.
Three years ago, there was a student who was still a college student and had been with his girlfriend for two years. His girlfriend was particularly fond of writing and had submitted to several magazines, but was always returned.
The girl was finally disillusioned, but inadvertently we, the trainee, saw what she had written and our eyes glowed: did you really write this? It's fantastic! Your writing is wonderful and well thought out, just a little less mature in the plotting. Stick with it, and you're sure to become a best-selling author!
With her boyfriend's encouragement, she worked even harder. As she worked day and night, her efforts were finally recognized, and she has now published four books, and is now a well-known author in her field.
Gifts
This type of person likes to use gifts to express their love.
Of course, she is very happy if you give her a gift. This kind of gift, can be bought or made by yourself, can be tangible, such as roses, or intangible, such as playing the piano for him to sing and write poems.
Actions
The love language is the person of action, who likes to do things for you and also wants you to show your love by serving her and making her happy. This type of person, as well as flowery words would be better to go to him to take out the garbage and walk the dog, cooking and washing dishes. These are the little things he can feel your love for her.
Physical
It's the hugs, kisses, sex, etc. that need to be used. I don't have to tell you that you know how to do it.
Companionship
This type of person feels that since two people like each other, they should focus on one thing together and give each other their full attention. They won't do anything else while talking to you, and they also want you not to be distracted while talking to him.
If you respond to him late, he'll get mad, but think of the fact that he's also giving you his full attention. So give them your full attention when talking to them, focus on listening and don't interrupt.
We have a private customized salvage trainee just like this, two people have been married for four years, the beginning of the relationship is also very good. Later, the conflict began to get more and more serious, even to the point of divorce. The man has been more than thirty years old, successful career, the family has a beautiful wife, in the material life never less than to his wife. In the eyes of outsiders, he definitely counts as a successful man, become his wife, must be very happy.
But the two of them often quarrel. After I analyzed them in detail, I found that his wife's love language is "service" and "companionship", while his love language is really "body" and "gift".
The two people are at odds when their love languages are different. He thinks that giving her gifts and making out with her is an expression of love, but she thinks that if you love someone, you have to be there for them with all your heart.
While he keeps her clothed and fed, he is usually very busy with his business and rarely has the time to be quiet with her, and says that he will go traveling together, but says that he hasn't been able to do so for a long time, not to mention helping her to brush her chopsticks and wash the dishes. I asked him to write down how many things he promised to do with her but failed to do.
He wrote down a lot of things, such as traveling to the Maldives together, reading a book together quietly in a cafe, and going to revisit the beautiful scenes of the year when he was in love together ...... Under my guidance, he found time to do it every week. In just a month or two, the relationship between the two people has been greatly improved.
So how do you judge the language of love for yourself and others?
It's simple, think about you or him, usually used to use which of the above ways to express love? How do you want your lover to treat you? What was the last time he was angry because of something you did or didn't do? By contemplating in silence and being able to find the language of love for each other, you can take your love life to the next level.
Well, that's the end of today's article. In future articles, I will also teach you how to get your love back and self-growth. Each time, my teacher will bring you new dry tips as well as ways to apply them.
More relationship tips, welcome to pay attention to the "love business study club"