Two people have been married for many years, have a house and a car, also have a lovely baby.
The man is obedient to her, a hundred love, they have been in the eyes of others, the model couple, the people enjoy the model family, finally still in the reality of the front defeat.
The object of derailment, but also have their own families, wife and children hot pit head. A good friend to stay, bitter words, pleading with his wife to think of the child is still small on the part of the child to give the child a complete home.
But the wife, categorically refused to return to the family, unhesitatingly into the arms of another man.
She said she did not want to live with him at a glance to see the head of the marriage, she said, he is her true love, she wants to live a different life with him.
As outsiders, we don't know the whole truth of the matter and don't seem to have the right to judge.
But as a friend, in addition to comforting, I am also trying my best to guide him, saying that a slap can't be taken, and that both people may be responsible for the problems in the marriage, and advising him to look at this matter rationally and think long and hard.
But I can't deny that my mind is swirling with the question, in this era of rampant cheating, what is the meaning of marriage? The first thing you need to do is to get married and meet the so-called "true love", and what should you do?
02
In the TV series "Man's Gang", Shanli, who has been married for many years and is planning to divorce her husband after her life becomes dull, meets Gu Xiaobai.
But in the end, Shanli chose to go back to her husband. In the last episode, Shanli said this to Gu Xiaobai:
We will always gradually forget our promises, and care more about the new feelings, the new feeling of liking someone, but this feeling is bottomless. We only care about our own feelings, we will always fall in love with different people, but love should not be like this.
Love is business, perseverance, and enduring patience. I used to think that these are just words, but actually not, there are too many people in this world, how can you guarantee that I will be the last woman you fall in love with, and what guarantee can I take that you will be the last man I fall in love with?
To be able to keep the initial love, and keep going, love and protect him, never leave, that is the most difficult, but also the most should do.
I think this quote is really the most perfect answer to the question of meeting true love after marriage.
Of course, what I mean by marriage is that two people have love as a prerequisite.
In fact, people this animal, the best thing is self-suggestion. Marital derailment, betrayal, always like to "ta is my favorite, I regret to get married early" to find excuses.
Because they do not dare to admit that they are a person who will not be self-disciplined, do not dare to admit that they are a person who is overwhelmed by the desire of the flesh, so they always use a grandiose reason to fight for their own psychological comfort.
Saying that, the lie became true, but also really thought that the person who cheated together, is their favorite.
03
So it is, after marriage to meet the true love, in fact, is a pseudo-proposition.
Why do you say that? Today you meet this person, can make up for the shortcomings of the other half, you think it is true love, wait until the freshness is over, found that the current person's shortcomings, you will think that the next person is also true love.
The first thing you need to do is to find the right person to take care of you and your family.
For example, Shen Congwen, the writer who wrote, "I have traveled to many bridges, seen many clouds, and drank many kinds of wine, but I have only loved one person at the right age," wrote this poem to his wife, Zhang Zhaohua.
It is reasonable to say that such a deep feeling will be unbreakable and indestructible, right? In particular, Shen Congwen initially pursued Zhang Zhaohe, but wrote love letters for nearly five years.
But unfortunately, Shen Congwen still fell in love with another woman, Gao Qingzi.
The two encouraged each other in literature and alluded to this relationship in their respective works.
Zhang Zhaohe returned home to Suzhou in a huff, and Shen Congwen wrote a long letter to his wife every day about his love and concern for Gao Qingzi.
Only, compared with a long marriage, the short-lived extramarital love is really much more fragile, the two eventually each step back, Shen Congwen eventually returned to his wife.
In 1946, Shen commemorated the 13th anniversary of his marriage with the novel The Housewife, which was written as a confession to his wife.
In 1969, on the eve of Shen Congwen's devolution, he took out a crumpled letter from his pocket, which was the first letter written to him by Zhang Zhaohua, who had already been devolved to Xianning in Hubei province, and Shen Congwen lifted the letter up, his face was shy and tender, and then he burst into tears.
An old man of nearly seventy years old, missing his wife, cried like a child.
04
After two people get married, the wood, rice, oil and salt, pots and pans, stumbling, it's easy to be like what Eileen Chang said, "The splendor fades, people are lonelier than the fireworks" of the bland.
A little bit of life experience people know, before living together, love is a thing; after living together, it is another thing.
Just like when we travel, we always envy the scenery of the city, in fact, we just see the best side of a city, and when we really move in, we may not like it so much.
Anyway, the freshness will always pass, the white rose will sooner or later become white water, and the red rose will become a touch of mosquito blood on the wall.
Fresh meat will always become a strange uncle, will have a beer belly, may be bald, sleep will snore; small lolicon will also become a love of square dancing old lady, teeth fall out, breasts will sag, buttocks will be shriveled.
Willing to bear the consequences, go after the next so-called true love;
Not willing to pursue the consequences, continue to guard the person in front of you.
05
Of course, I'm not encouraging everyone who meets true love to continue to hold on to the marriage in front of them.
I just think that before two people enter into a marriage, the first thing to abandon is unrealistic fantasies. Give up the romance of those who love each other in front of the moon and flowers.
Otherwise, when you can't stand the reality of marriage, you will again compare the two people to negate the previous vows, so why bother?
Choosing to enter into marriage, you have to recognize the significance of marriage for the individual, for the family.
Love, is the role of dopamine and adrenaline, is the passion and impulse; but the essence of marriage, is *** with the life, *** with the resistance to the risks of life, *** with the raising of children and the elderly, is the long and stable.
That's why, the marriage should be operated, to make a balance between the reality and romantic passion.
Of course, now you have the freedom to get married and the freedom to get divorced.
Properly arrange the children, divide the property, properly give a reception to the other half, and then turn around and put into the next relationship, and I also respect you as a man, no matter whether it is a man or a woman.
I'm annoyed that there is a word, called: derailment.
Two people really difficult to communicate, really can not get through, really fell in love with someone else, really want to go to bed with someone else, really in the "true love" and "old love" in the middle of the wandering, please deal with the marriage, and then calculate the physical intercourse.
Nowadays, it's not enough to find true love, but to be able to control one's own destiny, not to be a slave to desire, and to be able to bear any possible consequences without regrets, that's what it's called.
You think you've met your true love, you don't want to be let down, and you choose to cheat on your wife; then your marriage partner is willing to be treated like that?
Marriage or, love or, and not only your own is a person, other people's hearts are also made of meat, flesh and blood, why should you bear the harm caused by your indulgence?
06
It's a good idea to be honest.
Only weak people with low self-esteem will lack empathy, sympathy, complacency because of treachery, will use the headstrong to satisfy the self, because of the lack of vision and foreknowledge of the narrow-minded, and so on to bear the consequences and will be complaining about the sky, but never introspection, the life of their own masters.
The person who cheated on his wife, please don't take "people should have the freedom to love" as a shield and cloth of shame, because when you enter into marriage, step into love, the default freedom is not unlimited, freedom is based on responsibility and morality.
All of the "I have the freedom to pursue love" to ignore the family and partner, are rogues.
07
Marriage, love, two people get along, is not you coax me I coax you, you love me I cherish you.
It is necessary to part with the life and death, wife and child, hand to see each other in tears, see you again in the next life, net talk about these useless.
You still think you're in a movie?
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