A: Everyone has a pair of hands, everyone has fingers.
B: nonsense, who does not have fingers.
B: That's right, this is open-eyed to tell the truth.
A: But the more I look at it, the more I like it (thumbs up), the more I hate it (index finger).
B: five fingers into a fist, how can you say which one you love and which one you hate?
A: Alas, you do not know, in my family "thumb" is my father, "index finger" is my mother.
B: how the more I say the more I do not understand?
A: For example, one day, I was praised by the teacher in kindergarten, really happy!
B: is to be happy.
A: I jumped back home and shouted "Mom!".
A: I jumped home and happily shouted "Mom!
B: Then your mom must be very happy.
A: But who knows, just after the words, "index finger" came.
B: What?
B: What?
A: (stretching index finger) "index finger" is my mother. "How do you do, clothes dirty like this, and where to run wild?"
B: Alas, your mom can really powerful.
A: I was thirsty and just wanted to take an apple to eat, "index finger" came again.
B: and what?
A: (stretching index finger) "How do you know how to eat, write quickly, write not finished can not eat!
B: eat are not allowed?
A: I just sat down to write two words, I want to pee.
B: Alas, this urine is not disputed.
A: Oh, I can not hold it!
B: Then go quickly.
A: no ah, "index finger" and came, (stretching index finger) "you this child, really lazy donkey on the grinding shit and urine, quickly do your homework!
B: Alas!
A: so, the "index finger" of the repeated appearance of my homework are not in the spirit.
B: No one else would have had the spirit.
A: the more spiritless, the more mistakes, the more mistakes my mother criticized me.
B: This is called the "vicious circle".
A: you say I can not hate it? （
B: "index finger" in your house is really boring, then "thumb"?
A: "thumb" is different, GOOD! GOOD! You're great! You're awesome!
B: Look! I'm sorry, but I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that.
A: This is not, I just finished my homework, Dad came back. Push the door so full of smiles, appreciation, said (thumbs up) "son, you're great! You know how to study at home." A sentence said I strange embarrassed.
B: Look, a praise, like a ray of sunshine.
A: In return, I went to give my dad slippers, newspapers, TV -
B: See, give some sunshine, he will be brilliant.
A: As a result, Dad praised me again (thumbs up) "My son is really good, just know how to be considerate. I said, my son is the best!" I heard that, not to mention how happy!
B: Look at his beauty!
A: you say I can not like it? （
B: is that like, even I envy your family's "thumbs up."
A: you can not like it?
A: "Thumbs up" means praise, "index finger" means criticism.
B: the world which children do not like praise?
A: So, in the future, if I have a son, I will use this (thumbs up) more!
B: Alas, that is still early.
A: you say, they can be the same?
B: is not the same, even the expression is not the same, "thumbs" is this (smile), "index finger" is this (fierce look).
A: How I wish my mom was also this ah! （
A: How I wish my mom was like this!
A: ah (scared away)?
B: Alas, look at him scared!
The phone rings!
Student A: Class is in session, class is in session.
Student B: Eh, class is in session, class is in session, hurry up, hurry up, class is in session.
Student A: Good day, class president.
Student B: Hello, eh, I heard that our class has a new class teacher, or a woman.
Student A: I don't care if it's a man or a woman, I'll just kick her out.
Student B: Uh-huh.
Student C: Eh, you two good.
Student A student B: Good morning!
Student C: so early to come, eh, have not heard of our class and change the class teacher.
Student A, student B: I know, I know, I already knew.
Student C: Eh, and still a woman.
Student A student B: also know, also know.
Student C: Eh, why don't we stay and straighten her out. I'll give her a nickname.
Student A: Eh, not bad, this idea is good.
Student A: Eh, not bad, that's a good idea.
Student C: Eh, called trumpet flower.
Student A: Horn flower, too vulgar too vulgar too vulgar.
Student B: How about this? Let's nickname her Old Mother Hen.
Student A: Ah, old hen.
Student B: Uh-huh.
Student A: Now the bird flu is very serious.
Student A: Bird flu is very serious now.
Student C: Yes.
Student B: that call, eh, simply so well, call her spinster.
Student A student C: good good ~~~~~
Student A: this is good, this is good, this is good.
Student B: This is a good idea. Then you will call it good later? （
Student C: I'm not calling.
Student B: Then you call (pointing to student A)
Student A: I don't call either.
Student B: Then you don't call, she doesn't call, who calls?
Student C: Eh, there is, stay a fool to come, let him call.
Student B: Eh, good idea, good idea.
Student A: This is a good idea.
Student B: Silly, class is in session, class is in session, class is in session.
Silly student: come on. (Jumping lap dance appearance) ~ ~ laugh what laugh ah? Haven't seen a handsome man ah
Student A: Eh, eh, fool.
The student who is a fool: Uh-huh.
Student A: There is a new homeroom teacher in our class. We nicknamed her spinster. When she comes, you call Oh.
The student: I don't call.
Student A: Why?
The student: You always lie to me, every time I open my mouth, you shut your mouth.
Student A: No, I won't lie to you this time.
Student B Student C: Right.
Student A: Let's all shout together.
Student B, student C: Uh-huh.
Silly student: not lying to me this time?
Student A, Student B, Student C: Uh, yeah, not this time. Call together.
The stupid student: well, together.
Teacher: Hello everyone, I am the new class teacher. I heard that the students in this class are particularly difficult to teach, but I'm very loving, and I will put my
love, to sensitize them. The students are good!
Student A student B student C silly students: old.
Foolish student: good virgin.
Teacher: Which young student shouted teacher is a spinster, please step forward. (Student A student B student C backed up together) ~~ small students, please stand
up.
Silly student: Uh-huh.
Teacher: You stand up firmly.
The teacher: the ground is not flat.
Teachers: You know what it means to be a spinster.
The teacher said, "I don't know what to say, but I'm not sure what to say," he said.
Teacher: I have confidence and I have patience. Little student, please go to the office with the teacher for a moment.
Silly student: what for?
Teacher: Teacher treats you to chocolate.
The teacher: I'll give you some chocolate.
Teacher: Really, come on.
The teacher: Really?
Student B: Eh, this is called a spinster still eat chocolate?
Student C: Yes, if I had known that we also called which.
Student A: That's right.
Teacher: I invite you to eat chocolate, Dove, Goldie's, eat ah eat, you eat full ah. (Walking out) I never physically punish my students.
You can come out.
Foolish students: came (dancing lap dance).
Student B: Eh, what happened to you? Silly.
Student C: Silly, are you okay?
Silly student: the teacher hit.
Zhao Benshan: I heard that he ---- is not a chef, change the anti-fooling hotline, and dared to threaten not to be fooled again, the cruel reality has been pushed straight to the psychological line of defense, this year, I do not sell him something, promised three years of the topic of I can not cash with the audience.
Apprentice 1: Master, go in!
Zhao: Don't worry, first dial a nuisance call. (Calling) Got through. Hello!
Fan Wei: Hello. Here is to lend you lend you a pair of eyes to prevent fooling advice hotline, I am a senior fool old Fan, with many years of fooling experience, whether you are fooled to make clear judgment: someone selling abduction, please press 1; someone selling cars, please press 2; someone out of the brain, please press 3; someone selling stretcher, directly dial 110.
Zhao: Hello!
Fan: Hello!
Zhao: May I ask if you are Master Fan?
Fan: Who are you?
Zhao: I'm ...... have a question to ask your old man directly.
Fan: Well, you say.
Zhao: my family has an old sow ah, black ground white flower ah, morning a get up and open the door to 80 veins per hour speed forward crazy run, "clang Dan Dan" hit the tree, died!
Fan: dead? This pig's eyesight is not a problem ah?
Zhao: Both eyes are 1.5.
Fan: Will there be any mental illness?
Zhao: Mental health!
Fan: How could he die in a crash?
Zhao: The pig's brain can't do anything!
Fan: I say you people do not follow the rules! The first thing you need to do is to get your hands dirty! In that case, I'm going to ask you a question.
Zhao: You say.
Fan: It's New Year's Eve, and we didn't buy anything for New Year's Eve, so there's only one pig and one donkey left. You say I should kill the pig first, or the donkey first?
Zhao: Then you first kill ...... (and apprentice speak) to give you two opportunities.
Apprentice 1: Kill the donkey first.
Zhao: Kill the donkey first.
Fan: Congratulations, you got it right. That's what the pig thought.
Zhao: Small sample! Sad! It really makes me feel sad for you! How can this put me at ease when I'm about to go solo?
Apprentice 2: Master, kill the pig first.
Zhao: That's what the donkey thought! I'm telling you, for that matter, it's not good enough for you to kill anyone first. Why didn't I answer it? Just because it's problematic for me to consider it. See? He's grown from being a one-track mind back then to being a two-track plug now!
Apprentice 1: Master, he's too good, let's go back!
Zhao: can not go back!
Zhao: I can't go back. I've sold abductions, and he's crippled me; I've sold cars, and he's wilted; and if I don't get him in ten minutes, I won't be able to be a teacher with you anymore.
The disciples said: "The master led the door, fooled in the individual!
Zhao: Good. Look at my eyes and go in! The first time I saw him, I was so happy to see him!
Apprentice: Excuse me, is Master Fan in?
Fan: Who is it? May I ask you to consult ...... (looking at Zhao) Oops! Aiya! Yikes! Yikes! Yikes! ...... What kind of look is this? It's quite chic! Very 6 + 7 ah? How did the great and mighty fool end up in such a state? God, earth, is the angel sister to give me out of this? The pig hit the tree, you hit the pig, right? You're tailgating, aren't you? The first time I saw this, it was a very good time for me to go back to the office.
Zhao: three years, I miss you.
Fan: fooled!
Zhao: I'm here to confess to you.
Fan: Go ahead and lull!
Zhao: I have my disciple as a witness.
Fan: I've come to the group to fool me. Not good enough, big snub. As long as we good people are vigilant about you what else do you know? How many brain teasers will you know soon? A monkey on the ground, seven monkeys in the tree, this is two monkeys, or maybe eight monkeys,
Zhao: Maybe three monkeys, or maybe nine monkeys.
Fan: How did it change again?
Zhao: Pregnant with one monkey.
Fan: Interesting?
Zhao: No fun. Not to give you a brain teaser that primary stage, I am to apologize to you. Three years, the most sorry person in this world is Chef Fan. What a good person. I always tell you, why do you think I lied to him? How loyal and honest, you say I, you hit me twice, you can not get down. You can't open your mouth to scold me. In this way, anyway, you forgive me also came, do not forgive me also came, forgive or not forgive me with sincerity to come.
Fan: yada yada yada! Also fluttering. You see, flutter, hey ah, then flutter.
Zhao: Help me up.
Fan: Can you stand up? I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do that. I'm sorry, but I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. Everyone is watching. I have nothing to do with any accidents. Why do you keep hanging the lantern? Why do you keep standing up? I'm not sure what I'm talking about, but I'm not sure what I'm talking about.
Zhao: Do you want to hear?
Fan: I want to hear.
Zhao: Do you believe it after hearing it?
Fan: I'll believe it if you just stand up.
Zhao: Then you withdraw, I can stand up.
Fan: Hm, say it.
Zhao: It's a long story. Remember it was the first snow of 2003, a little later than 2002.
Fan: What are you doing with the lyrics? There is something fast and direct.
Zhao: I do not play with you false, today I came to apologize to you.
Zhao: The goods! I'm not sure if I'm familiar with it, but I think it's a good idea.
Fan: This is the hundreds of dollars you fooled me?
Fan: not a penny.
Fan: Is this the watch?
Zhao: It's been on my hand since I put it on.
Fan: This is, brother ----
Zhao: our two grudges should be over, right? And it, these years, the delay between the two of us feelings is this culprit is this wheelchair. Today I have to smash it in front of you.
Apprentice: Master, can not smash ah. Master, this wheelchair is the witness of your old brother and sister back together.
Zhao: Do not talk nonsense, I, can not pull me.
Apprentice: Master, ouch, master!
Fan: Big brother, if you want to smash just smash me. Big brother you are too sincere! The children are right, it is not only a witness to our reunion, but also a warning bell for me to avoid being fooled in the future. I collect.
Zhao: No, the students paid for me to do, how can you collect it?
Fan: Well, more money I give ah.
Zhao: How much did it cost?
Apprentice: two thousand.
Fan: I, two thousand.
Zhao: I give two thousand five.
Fan: Me, three thousand.
Zhao: Me, three thousand five.
Fan: I'm four thousand.
Zhao: I'm five thousand.
Fan: Deal.
Zhao: You Fan chef.
Zhao: I'll take five thousand.
Fan: you shouted five thousand, I fell whip, deal!
Zhao: That's not right, you remembered wrong, how to shout?
Student: I heard Chef Fan shouting.
Fan: What, what ah?
Sheng: No, the master shouted.
Zhao: messy mess. It doesn't matter who shouted it. Look, let's run through it, it's a bit messy, who shouted first.
Fan: I shouted first.
Zhao: How much did you shout?
Fan: Me, two thousand.
Zhao: Me, two thousand five.
Fan: Three thousand.
Zhao: three thousand five.
Fan: four thousand.
Zhao: 4,500.
Fan: five thousand.
Zhao: Look at it, it's clear.
Fan: Hey, a little messy, a little messy.
Zhao: You do the math again.
Fan: No one say anything, I count myself, run myself.
Zhao: You just messed up on your own.
Fan: you do not talk, two thousand, two thousand five, three thousand, three thousand five, four thousand, four thousand five, five thousand, hey
Zhao: you run the opposite, two thousand is what you called.
Fan: two thousand, two thousand five, three thousand.
Zhao: No.
Fan: Two thousand.
Fan: Two thousand, two thousand five, three thousand, three thousand five, four thousand, four thousand five, five thousand.
Zhao: Yeah.
Fan: Oops.
生：我记错，是你喊的。
Fan: No, no, brother, I shouted four thousand, you directly shouted five thousand, right?
Audience: yes!
Zhao: so ah, messy. Since we brother and sister, you agree with the collection, let's shout again, is not it, listen to understand this five thousand in the end who shouted. How much is the starting price?
生：两千。
Fan: I, two thousand.
Zhao: (drop vertebrae) Deal! This time there is no mess.
Fan: You're not going up?
Zhao: I'm afraid I'll mess it up again.
Sheng: This time it was you who shouted.
Fan: Hey, that's fine, don't move, don't move, this wheelchair is mine, don't move, I'll pay, two thousand.
Zhao: old brother, according to reason should not want money, but you want to face, you this person want face, is not it? It shouldn't matter that you want it, but, but it's not your character not to give it.
Fan: Give you I'll be fooled.
Zhao: fooled? I'll tell you what, I didn't want to ......
Fan: change the robbery.
Zhao: you understand wrong, I want to find you to ......
Fan: don't pretend, from the moment you entered the house, you used the bitter meat plan, want to escape the plan, master and disciple with the smash car plan, confused and suddenly fall into the vertebrae plan, I only used a plan.
Zhao: will be the plan.
Fan: send you a plan.
Zhao: Walking is the best plan.
Fan: Don't send me!
Zhao: Failed, know what failed? This chef did not read the recipe, but read the Art of War, withdraw!
Apprentice: (to Fan) Master!
Fan: hey master master
Zhao: do what the hell, kneeling where to go, I'm here, do what you two, do what ah?
Apprentice: Master, I'm sorry, you're too low IQ to learn anything with you. You should do what to go, hurry up and go, a moment to catch the two-way bus, are.
Zhao: Oops!
Apprentice: Master on the, subject to the apprentice a worship!
Zhao: ah mom, ah, the world is too crazy, rats are for the cat as a bridesmaid, ah mom!
Apprentice: Master! Please accept us!
Fan: Hey, hey, children, the sea of bitterness is not a cliff, turn back to the shore, learn to do well, the New Year, to give you packets of red packets to go, packets of red packets.
Zhao: sad, indeed sad, this money you two can want? I'm not going to give you a paycheck last month?
Zhao: This is the first time I've ever seen this!
Fan: Come on, one for each, take it.
Zhao: sad
Apprentice: thank you master
Fan: ah, don't don't, don't be polite
Apprentice: master, master, take it!
Zhao: anti-adultery.
Fan: Oops, the defense can not be defended! But I'm not convinced. You've been fooling around, and you've been fooling around, and I'm still in a wheelchair, right?
Zhao: What do you want?
Fan: What about the promise you made to the audience?
Zhao: What promise?
Fan: Where's your stretcher?
Zhao: Develop it yourself!
Fan: Hey!
Zhao: This is customized for you, and if it's short, it can be lengthened.
Fan: Oops, for me you are painstakingly ah, thanks to my plan is better, open the red envelope.
A pair of couplets for you on New Year's Day:
A year of shaking a year's worth of fate
A lesson learned, a lesson learned, thank you
ZHAO: I'm going to make up for it with another banner
Self-accomplishment!
Zhao Benshan sketch lines
Zhao Benshan sketch lines "Selling abductions"
Gao Xiumin: Ah - big lull! Big snub!
Zhao Benshan: shouting what big fool, this day out to sell this finish should, do not call me stage name okay?
Gao Xiu Min: His father,
Zhao Benshan: En,
Gao Xiu Min: If I say this abduction do not sell!
Zhao Benshan: Why?
Gao Xiumin: The streets are full of people with good legs, who will buy your crutch?
Zhao Benshan: Nonsense, I'm not going to sell it, I'm not going to do it, I'm going to do it again, I'm going to do it again, I'm going to do it again, I'm going to do it again, I'm going to do it again.
Gao Xiu Min: Oops, the street is full of good legs, can sell!
Zhao Benshan: You still don't understand me, but also call me a big fool. I can fool the positive oblique, can be wilted fooled banter, can be pointed people fooled mouthing, can be a small couple of quite good, I gave him fooled respectively. Today, the sale of abduction, a pair of good legs I can give him fooled lame!
Gao Xiu Min: Haha, you can pull down,
Zhao Benshan: believe it or not?
Gao Xiumin: I don't believe you can make someone lame with a good leg?
Zhao Benshan: See, this is my strong point.
Gao Xiu Min: I still don't know your strong point, my child's father can be interesting, I heard that people buy a horse on the people that sell car covers, I heard that people buy motorcycles on that sell helmets, I heard that people insomnia on that people sell sleeping pills, I heard that people -
Zhao Benshan: Stop, this is called the market, grasp the advance!
Gao Xiu Min: You that advance also have to hit the wrong time!
Zhao Benshan: This crutch hit a mistake,
Gao Xiumin: I heard that the lock pillar driving four-wheeler smashed his leg, greed darkness and get up early in the morning to make a pair of crutches, but the result is that people smashed the weight of the wheelchair directly after the discharge of the hospital, the crutches did not sell out,
Zhao Benshan: Don't say that, this is called the market.
Zhao Benshan: Don't worry, I'll sell this pair of crutches today.
Gao Xiu Min: This street is full of good legs, who sells it?
Zhao Benshan: Daughter-in-law, this day we find a good leg to sell to him, to see my big fool ability.
Gao Xiu Min: What are you talking about?
Zhao Benshan: The one who is willing to take the bait, understand?
Gao Xiu Min: I can't cheat, you can do it yourself -
Zhao Benshan: Look at my eyes, okay? Hey, someone's coming, shout -
Gao Xiumin: ah, turned Oh, turned, turned Oh! I'm not going to be able to do that!
Fan Wei: I say you blind command what ah you ah? You know where I'm going and you're letting me turn ah you ah?
Zhao Benshan: shouting sell.
Gao Xiumin: Sell Oh!
Zhao Benshan: Sell what?
Gao Xiu Min: abduction
Zhao Benshan: even on.
Gao Xiu Min: abducted and sold Oh! The first time I've seen this, I've seen a lot of it!
Fan Wei: What? What's going on?
Fan Wei: What's going on?
Gao Xiu Min: No, he abducted--
Fan Wei: You want to abduct?
Zhao Benshan: What's in your eyes, abduction, abduction I can abduct such, you buy it?
Fan Wei: What the hell is going on here,
Zhao Benshan: What's the matter, you're meddling -
Gao Xiumin: We're a couple of people, playing here!
Zhao Benshan: Heh heh, nothing to play!
Fan Wei: These two couples, New Year's Eve, sell their daughter-in-law to play - aiya
Gao Xiumin: Not for sale -
Zhao Benshan: Stand down -
Gao Xiumin: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
Zhao Benshan: Stand down.
Gao Xiumin: What?
Zhao Benshan: Too serious.
Fan Wei: What?
Zhao Benshan: Oh, no you do not matter -
Gao Xiumin: What finish should be serious ah?
Zhao Benshan: should tell him - do not tell this disease, dangerous - nothing, I see a problem here, daughter-in-law did not let me say, you can not believe, you go, nothing - huh - nothing - nothing.
Zhao Benshan: This disease was found to be late!
Fan Wei: What's wrong with you? What's the matter with you?
Zhao Benshan: It's just that the disease was found to be terminal!
Zhao Benshan: Don't get excited, I can see the problem, ah, you don't believe it -
Fan Wei: You have to tell me whether I believe it or not, what's going on?
Zhao Benshan: Let's not talk about the condition, I know what you are doing!
Fan Wei: Ahem, you know what I do, what do I do?
Zhao Benshan: You are a big boss in business -
Fan Wei: What?
Zhao Benshan: That's impossible.
Fan Wei: Nonsense, does a big boss ride this out?
Zhao Benshan: He works in a hotel.
Gao Xiu Min: How do you know he's in a hotel?
Zhao Benshan: A smell of scallions on his body - is it a hotel?
Fan Wei: So - what do you think I'm doing in a restaurant?
Zhao Benshan: The chef who turns the spoon!
Fan Wei: Huh?
Zhao Benshan: Really?
Gao Xiumin: Oops, how do you know he's a chef?
Zhao Benshan: Big head, thick neck, either big money or cook! It's a chef, isn't it?
Fan Wei: Wow, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK.
Fan Wei: Ah, ah ah ah ah, yes, yes. What did you say about me just now, that it's serious again, and that it's late, and what's going on?
Zhao Benshan: Can you believe it?
Fan Wei: I I I I - I believe,
Zhao Benshan: In the recent period of time, the feeling did not feel a part of your body, with the past is not the same.
Zhao Benshan: Right, this is not the main disease! Do you know why your face is so big?
Fan Wei: Why?
Zhao Benshan: It's the necrosis of your peripheral nerves that is suffocating the upper side.
Fan Wei: Where did it come from?
Zhao Benshan: Below the waist - feet up -
Fan Wei: legs?
Zhao Benshan is right!
Fan Wei: No, there's nothing wrong with my legs!
Zhao Benshan: Take two steps! There's nothing wrong with it! Zao Benshan: I'm not sick!
Fan Wei: OK, OK, OK - two steps, two steps, two steps, two steps, two steps -
Zhao Benshan: Stop! What's wrong with your shoes?
Fan Wei: What's wrong with it?
Zhao Benshan: What's wrong with your shoes?
Fan Wei: This is - this is a tourist shoe with a dead heel!
Zhao Benshan: Right, it's your leg that's sick, one leg is short!
Fan Wei: There is no such thing! If I want a long leg and a short leg, the pants seller will tell me!
Zhao Benshan: The pants seller told you that you still sell pants, who is as good as me? I'll give you a tune up. I'll give you a tune up. Believe it or not, your legs with my hand to the high lift, can lift as high as lift as high, down hard fall, OK? Believe it or not? Your leg is sick, your right leg is short! Come on, get up! （
Zhao Benshan: Stop! Is it numb?
Fan Wei: It's numb
Gao Xiumin: Hey, why is he numb?
Zhao Benshan: You stomp, you're numb too!
Zhao Benshan: Is he numb?
Zhao Benshan: Did you get numb?
Fan Wei: Numb -
Zhao Benshan: Walk up, walk up! Don't control it, your legs are 100% sick, don't control it, relax! Relax! Go, go, go! Go, go quickly! Walk, don't think, you walk with me, okay? Walk up. Little by little, you'll be fine. Go--