He's already serious, and I'm a little worried. I'm afraid of being responsible. I have a girlfriend who likes to hang out with married men, and when I asked her why, she said, "Fear of responsibility." A husband with a wife is always someone else's responsibility, and she doesn't have to worry about his career, his future, his affairs of the heart, his finances, or the details of his life. ......
The full text is as follows:
The Journey
By Yishu
- - From Yishu's middle grade novel. -from Yishu's anthology of middle-grade fiction, The Lady in White
I've been to Europe hundreds of times. I simply studied in Europe. Therefore, I always want to go back to Europe to pursue my old dreams, and when I live in Hong Kong for ten months, I feel uncomfortable, so I have to go back to Europe, wear the worst clothes, sit in front of the art museum and smoke a cigarette, and then when I go back to Hong Kong, I can go up to the office building from the beginning, and continue to be a human being by my own choice.
I can't live in Europe for a long time because I can't find a job and work in a Tang Dynasty restaurant? Or back to Hong Kong to sit in the office is good, but Hong Kong ...... can not even see a decent painting exhibition. So still have to run to Europe. Being human for pleasure is really complicated.
Recently on Europe, most of the three plus tours, cheap plane tickets, and do not have to be busy to see the rental hotel. The most afraid of booking a hotel in Europe, each country speaks a different language, get half a day, telegraph and telephone charges are more than this number.
But once the tour group arrived in Europe, I disappeared, no matter where they were. I was at the art museum, they were by them as tourists, and I, simply as happy as if I were back home, I would not reappear until the plane returned to Hong Kong.
Usually it's no problem, the tour leader is happy to take care of one less person. I get my own plane tickets to look at, and I'm not late for a missed flight.
But this Easter to Europe, I had a bit of trouble, long story short, because there was a rather odious man on the same tour.
This man's name was Chen. I met him at the travel agency and he was like hating me. He traveled to Europe with his sister and brother-in-law, and whimsically, knowing that I was traveling single, he wanted to ask his sister to share a room with me, and him to share a room with his brother-in-law to save the cost of a single room. I blanked my eyes at him and didn't respond.
I told the head of the travel agency, "Traveling? To be happy and comfortable, if it doesn't hurt, then it's better not to go. I must sleep in a single room."
He was silent. This means that the ground also has to stay in a single room and spend a thousand good hundreds of dollars more for nothing.
I ignore such petty calculations. I myself was most afraid of sleeping in the same room with a stranger, male or female.
When I started, I had my usual routine jeans at one point. Because of the cold weather in Northern Europe, I have two bottleneck pintucks high sweater with a thin body short jacket, the weather in Southern Europe is warm, just wear a T-shirt has been almost.
Seeing the other members of the group and hand-carried and shoulder-backed and sent warehouse and packing. I sighed, it was time for another countryman's luxury escape.
I saw the guy named Chen, he glared at me, looking for him to glare at him, I'm not afraid of him. Who am I afraid of? Hmph.
On the plane he sat next to me, really coincidentally, peer twenty-two people, he was sitting next to me, I opened the purse, took out a whole set of martial arts novels, began my reading career.
The plane arrived in Mumbai, and I told the flight attendants that my feet hurt and I didn't want to get off the plane, and I told them that I would be in pain all the way to London.
They told me to stay on the plane, and the kid named Chen was clearly envious. By the time we got to Tel Aviv, his feet started hurting too.
COPYCAT. nothing new. Typical Hong Kong guy.
By the time I flew across Europe, I had already seen the twelfth episode of my martial arts novel, a twenty-six hour flight, just kidding.
It's not like I'm that kind of person, but this Chen guy pissed me off, and I wouldn't lend him the book at all, so he was bored with flipping through the menu and reading it. His brother-in-law asked him if he wanted to bet on thirteen, and I turned off the light above my head. Shame on you for being noisy at a time like this.
As it turned out, they didn't bet.
I, on the other hand, was asleep.
Everything is good about going to Europe, but the plane ride is unbearable.
My head bobbed around as the engines rumbled and I finally arrived in London. Everyone was so excited. That's the great thing about Europe, a thousand times over it's still worth getting excited about.
I told you before, England is my home. I'm going to call a taxi to my hotel, who is still waiting for them to go, the airport is far away from the city, taxi is expensive, I went to the hotel to put down the luggage, immediately go to buy tickets to watch the show, call a familiar friend.
They complained as usual: "Don't live in our house! What a pain in the ass."
Is it easier to stay in a hotel there at a family friend's house and be able to spill towels all over the bathroom?
I was only going to stay in London for two days, and the last day was going to Cambridge to see a professor.
The first day was spent watching movies and plays, and bragging about them until the old night before returning to the hotel. The next morning was spent revisiting old dreams at the National Museum and the afternoon at the Tate Gallery. In the evening, dinner and dancing with old classmates.
The two couples of my classmates asked me: "What? I've been to Europe alone again. I'll be back once a year. When will you bring more than one companion?"
"It's not meant to be, so I'll wait a while longer."
"You're old enough too, young lady."
"There is nothing to be done." I said.
"Are you in a hurry or not, miss?" They laughed.
"So what if I'm in a hurry? Take a gong to the street to knock not?" I said, "Can't we change the subject? I've been working hard for a year, and now I'm here to take it easy, and I've run into friends like you."
The next morning I took the train to Cambridge at 6:30am. I wondered what the other members of the group had done, and if they had gone to Soho to see a striptease. Probably not so exciting. I'm afraid it was just driving around Parliament, Big Ben and Bickleigh Square, poor tourists.
Everything I want can be found in Cambridge, where I lie on a sofa in Professor Law's house, drinking black tea and eating cookies.
"Are you still happy?" Professor Rau asked.
"What a complicated question I refuse to answer." I laugh.
He says, "I've traveled Europe once a year and I'm still not happy; I've lived a full fifty-six years and I've never been to the East."
I laugh.
When I got back to London, I just had time to buy three fleece coats before the department stores closed. I sent them to a friend's house to be picked up on my return trip, and when I went back to the hotel to have dinner with my group in the evening, that Chen sat next to me again, and what an abomination -
He looked at me as if I were a thief.
The other wife, on the other hand, smiled and asked me, "Was it fun, where did you wander off to alone?"
I said, "It was fun, thanks."
"You're not afraid?" The guy was too big and curious, "A girl, wandering around a foreign country."
I laughed, "I'm not afraid."
Hong Kong is not afraid, there is literally no scary place in the world.
"Pfft pfft." The lady shook her head.
As if I had done something treasonous.
These old-school wives, they come to Europe to visit their sons. I wonder what masks their sons wear to see them.
The plane arrives at Paris Orly Airport and the guide pulls me in with a smile, "Slow down, don't go yet, your French is better than mine, help out."
"I'll find you a driver with good English," I smiled back, "Help me out, I need to get to the Louvre, it's half past three."
The Chen guy tends to come forward, "To the Louvre? I'll go too."
I looked at the ground for a long time, not answering him.
He asked the guide, "Is it to the Louvre?"
"We're going back to the hotel, most of the group is planning to go shopping, we're not going to the Louvre, it's easy to get there, it's right on the Sena, just go with this lady."
The Chen asked me again, "I heard that there is still an Impressionist art museum outside the Louvre."
I glared at him, "Are you talking to me?"
His lids reddened.
Looking at him for liking art too and not embarrassing him too much, I said, "Give your bags to the headmaster and come with me, or back to the hotel if you want to wash your face and shower."
He said, "I'll follow you."
I admired his courage to learn from his mistakes, "Let's go." I said.
He said something to his sister & brother-in-law and he really followed me.
We wandered through the museum, I did not talk to him, thirsty I went to the bird fountain to drink water.
He asked, "No Coke?"
"No money." I said simply, "Six francs a glass."
"On me." He said.
"It's hard to take care of the long poor." I said.
We went into the Louvre, just as the statue of Venus on the Miro was about to close.
"Shit!" I said, "Come back tomorrow."
I walk back to the hotel with him, explaining that it's a half-hour walk and that if he's tired, he can take a cab.
He wound up following me, and I bought a loaf of bread to eat as we walked.
"How did you get to speak French so well?" He asked.
"Learning." I replied.
"You studied in Europe?"
"England."
"You're even familiar with Greece?"
"We're not going to Greece this time."
"Why don't you buy clothes!"
"You don't have to buy things in Europe that are available in Hong Kong."
He doesn't ring.
Back at the hotel, as usual, the group had bought more than they could fit in their suitcases. I don't know what they bought, they want to move the whole of Europe back to Europe?
After dinner I slipped outside again, this time many people demanded, "Ms. May, where are you going tomorrow? Will you take us with you?"
The guide crowed. "Hey, hey, hey, hey, there's tomorrow's program tomorrow, and tomorrow you'll have to get up early and stay put."
I laughed it off and strolled myself to the top of the Tower for coffee. Chen followed me.
The bill came and he paid my coffee bill for me. I didn't argue with him.
I leaned against the tower and looked down at the traffic.
"Beautiful." I said, "It's no fluke that the city of flowers got its name."
He nodded.
"First time in Europe?" I asked.
"Yes." He said, "I'm a dirt egg." Admitting it to himself first.
"You're not a dirtball if you've been to Europe? Not necessarily." I said.
Before I left I bought a couple of picture books.
Then we went to the Netherlands. By this time I no longer hate Chen Mou, but I have not yet asked him what his name is, just "Chen Mou", this person first entrenchment and then respect, thinking is problematic.
We visited Van Gogh's gallery in Amsterdam, Chen's hobby for art surprised me, I don't know what subjects he studied in school, I don't ask him, he didn't say, maybe he didn't read anything, old-fashioned, who cares.
I know the tour group to visit the diamond factory, to see the polished diamonds would have been very tasteful, but the diamonds are so beautiful that I did not go. I went to "Sitesch" to see the dikes.
Chen didn't go. I was alone with the sea breeze and felt lonely. My God, don't tell me that that old dirt can relieve me of my loneliness.
I went back to the hotel very early in the morning, Chen came knocking on the door, I was quite joyful.
He said, "I bought a shirt, you look good." He came through.
I saw that it was a women's shirt, with a lace collar and linen material, and assuming that he had bought it for his sister, I said politely, "It's very nice."
"Is it in your size?"
"For me?" I was taken aback, completely unguarded against this move.
"Yes, thank you for visiting the gallery with me." He said.
I turned red, and because I was so surprised, all I could say was, "These shirts are a lot cheaper in Brussels."
He put his hands in his pockets and smiled, not making a sound.
"I'll go change into it."
"Tell you what, let's eat somewhere else."
"That's fine." I said.
"Then I'll meet you under the hotel jacket."
I went into my room to change into the dress, looked in the mirror, it was just the right size, I hadn't gotten a present in a long time, and I was actually a little bit happy about the trip.
We ate seafood at a canal-side bistro.
He told me, "It's so dashing to be as free as you are."
"That's only because you haven't seen me being yelled at by my boss in the office." I said. "I'm free for a few days out of the year."
"But at least you know how to enjoy it." He said enviously.
"You think so?" I asked.
"I think so." He said, "Seeing you makes me realize what I've been missing."
I said, "Each person's destiny and interest in life is different. A young woman spends half her life in a residential kitchen in Siu Kei Wan, serving her husband and son, and who can say she is not happy. She may have traveled as far as Tsim Sha Tsui, but what difference does it make? Like we've traveled all over the world, seen a lot and known a lot, and picked our lives apart to the point of total unhappiness, you think?"
He marveled, "I never thought of that."
"That's because you're a man." I laughed, "You haven't thought about the pain of being a woman these days. Unseen and looked down upon. To be over-seen, to be resisted. It's hard to be a man. Focus on career, neglect family, focus on family, no career at all." I shrugged.
"Don't think so, don't any men accept women with careers?"
I smile. Don't make a sound.
I used to have a cute boyfriend too. We broke up in Fontainebleau. That fall, with yellow leaves everywhere, we had a showdown in the gazebo where Napoleon dated his mistress. He said he was going to get married to go.
I wasn't too sad or jealous, "Her?" I just asked, "You choose her? People say it's not a cloud, but you chose her?" All question marks.
He replied, "Because I can control her."
Men like women who are easy to control.
To this day, I think about it instead of melancholy and silence. If the year is not so arrogant, today ...... "if" what what is the most pathetic.
We went back to the hotel, the second stop is Fei Cui.
Chen's sister and brother-in-law asked me out to dinner, and we ordered a bottle of Chianti white wine from a small pizzeria.
I said politely, "Your brother is actually so interested in art."
"Who?" His sister asked, "Him?"
Chan's face reddened.
"He's interested in art? He thinks Van Gogh is a kind of French apple batch and Michelangelo is the most popular brand in Paris." Chen's brother-in-law's eyes widened, "How could he be interested in fine art, the man is an assistant curator at the planetarium, he may have some insights into the Crab Nebula and cosmic black holes, but-"
Saying this, he was silenced by a vigorous tin kick from his wife.
I rushed to look at Chen.
I had never known that a person's face could change colors as quickly as a neon sign, so I was amazed.
This dirtbag, he's actually an astronomer.
His sister coughed, "My brother went to Cornell for astrophysics." She explained, "The man is a bit nerdy, but you can't say he's not interested in the fine arts."
If he's not interested in the Impressionist galleries, then what's he doing following me around the galleries of Paris?
The answer is as simple as one plus one, so he is interested in me?
Me?
I sulked and desperately ate pizza. The old boy was a real person, but it turned out he'd been hanging on to my bladder all this time, and I didn't know it, I thought he was glaring at me because he hated me as a person.
Strange.
I didn't talk much that night, and went back to the hotel and went to bed early.
My attitude was suddenly civilized.
He snappishly asked, "I heard Filippo asked about the Uffizi Gallery?"
"Rang." I replied, "But don't waste your precious time, I advise you to go and buy some nice leather handbags to take back to your girlfriend, don't go for the Baldissier shirts, you won't find them."
"Don't be sarcastic, OK?" He was embarrassed.
"Are you cramming for art class in the hotel at night?" I asked.
He looks down at his shoes and kicks up a stone.
My heart softened; after all, he was doing all this foolishness for me. There was nothing that pleased a woman more than to be able to make a man silly.
I therefore asked, "Do you really want to go?"
He laughed.
We came out of the art museum and ate ice cream on the side of the road.
I explained, "It's easy to get jaundice, and Italy is a jaundice country." But we were happy to eat.
Walking in the alleys at dusk, the air is filled with the scent of orange blossoms. Beautiful teenage boys and girls on motorcycles whizzed by laughing and giggling.
Chen marveled, "Europe is so beautiful!"
"Hong Kong is also beautiful if you don't have to search for a life." I said.
Hong Kong people are snobbish." Chan said.
"Europeans are snobby too." I said, "It's just not easy to notice as a tourist. But I admit I was much happier being a little old man in Europe, in Hong Kong there is literally nowhere to go but to eat and drink tea."
"Do you - have a boyfriend?" He asked.
"Would Jean be here alone if I had a boyfriend?" I spread my hands.
"Is this argument proof that you're a heavily dependent woman, and that having a boyfriend means you can't travel Europe alone?"
I ask back, "Does that mean you have a girlfriend?"
He was silent for a moment, "I just got divorced and my ex-wife was an art student."
I was surprised, "I'm sorry."
He doesn't ring.
"Any kids?"
"Thankfully, no."
"How long did the marriage last?"
"Three years."
"What happened?"
"She found like-minded fine artists, people who appreciated her temperament."
For the most part, women simply don't agree to divorce if they haven't found something better. Women are always women, always abandoned, and never so lucky.
"You're not the only unlucky one." I said.
"Have you ever been married?" He asked cutely.
"No." I said, "Really, always being looked down upon." I sounded very sorry.
"You're a very good looking girl, you should have been married a long time ago."
"Me? Pretty? Thanks." I make a face.
"Really." He said, "No one will deny it."
"Thanks." I said.
He was already serious and I was a little worried. I was afraid of being responsible. I have a girlfriend who likes to hang out with married men, and when I asked her why, she said, "Fear of responsibility." A husband with a wife, is always someone else's responsibility, she does not have to but heart his career, his future, his heart, his economy, the details of his life ......
I am also free to accustomed to, where my husband to where with where life, I am not accustomed to, for a man to sacrifice, in the present my wisdom and psychology does not allow me to do so, unless I love him very much. I'm not used to sacrificing for a man, at this point in time my intellect and psyche won't allow me to do that unless I love him very much. But love itself is already the greatest sacrifice, love once in a lifetime is already too much and too bitter.
So I avoided even going to a movie as much as I could, lest it cause more consequences. But this time I was heroically trapped in a tour group, with a third of the place to visit, and I really didn't think I'd have to go to jail for this one.
"You live alone in Hong Kong?" He wanted to know more about me. Dangerous.
"Yes." I said, "Tiny first-floor apartment, seven hundred feet, divided into one-bedroom apartments."
"A lot of overhead." He said, "You make that good of an income?"
I was going to tell him, jokingly, that I occasionally make guest appearances on "One Woman, One Floor" and "Miss Wanted" to help with expenses, but I didn't. He doesn't have a sense of humor.
I just said, "I work hard for my money."
"Then you're a capable girl." He said, "More capable than a man."
He sounded old-fashioned, as if men were always supposed to be more capable than women, and the occasional woman excelling already seemed like a miracle.
He was not my cup of tea.
Back in Hong Kong, going out once in a while to see a movie, or maybe it's possible, but I doubt he'd enjoy watching the movie I chose, barely accommodating someone every day; it didn't take long to get tired of it.
No doubt he wants to remarry, firstly, because his ex-wife has remarried, and secondly, married people aren't used to being alone; they're used to having someone around them in pairs.
Our ages and appearances or very compatible, but the state of mind is completely different, no wonder he aspires to my freedom.
Many men resent divorced women, and I resent divorced men. Married people are not fresh, they do things like they are used to, and it's suffocating to bring a new partner into their old habits as well.
Like Chen, who is his second wife also has to double as a doctor to heal his broken heart. Three to five years later, I can still wear jeans now, why compromise on a man like him, miss this opportunity, the loss is not great.
Because the future plus crystal is generally clear, so I'm cold to him down. Men like him, do not have to worry about no one to marry, his monthly salary is not low, nor high to what place to go, I put their own life negative but very good, marriage is looking for a partner, no good partner solitude loneliness a little bit counts.
I was cold, he quickly felt, immediately slowed down the pace, he also knows that too much urgency for the woman is not good, unless the woman is eager to get married, or she is in love.
In Rome, I have returned to the team, so there are few opportunities for the two to talk, and objectively look at Chen Jun, I think he is not without merit, he is very honest, very cultured, good patience, good upbringing.
Some men are simply outrageous. Not long ago a man asked me to eat tea, about seven or eight times, almost no tears and snot pleading, finally agreed to go down, finished he insisted on sending me home, downstairs and said to send upstairs, upstairs, he was a body hard to stuff in the iron door refused to go, stupid village gas neurotic card card laugh, this tall a man, so I creeped out, I had to push him out, and I remember that I said sternly: "Do not go, I yell." He finally exited the iron gate and as I closed it I heard him cursing me in foul English.
This yakuza.
The planetarium director was naturally literate and unusual compared to such men. A celibate woman will come across all kinds of men before marriage, but a good man is not necessarily the future husband, two people if not in many ways with seamless, it is difficult to do a good husband and wife.
Chen is a good man, no doubt, but he lacks joie de vivre. No doubt that's why his ex-wife left him. I don't like this kind of man either.
Women like men who are funny, educated, have a career, and are financially exceptionally well-grounded. The main thing is to be pleasing to the eye. Chen such a man, with him living in a foreign country is good, Hong Kong is too colorful and varied - what's wrong with me, people did not ask me to marry, I think too far too much, which proves that I also have a little bit of interest in him.
We went in a big circle and flew back to London, he helped me with my luggage at the airport, and all my fellow travelers let out heartfelt smiles, and I thought we were so tacky - two singles going out on a trip, getting acquainted, and in just a few short days having a budding relationship, and then coming back home and being able to get married... ... more intolerable than popular fiction.
We went to Hyde Park to sit on benches shaded under large, unidentified trees, the leaves of which rustled in the wind, and a strip of sand where people rode horses.
Going back, I thought.
A pair of jeans worn for three weeks, the smell is not very good, the fabric is worn soft and cotton on the legs.
The jeans were worn for three weeks, and the fabric was soft and cotton on the legs.
Chen is still the old saying, "Europe is beautiful."
"Yes, after sucking in this burst of fresh air, go back to work again, and you can survive for a while. Subject to the boss gas, think of distant famous paintings and landscapes ...... Being a human being is like this, right?"
"You're very negative." He said, "You must be the one who reads liberal arts. We look at the stars and believe that all night long there is a master in all night long, so I spend most of my time buried in my work, and I wouldn't have come to Europe this time if I hadn't been dragged here by my sister, and I'm very obtuse, I don't think much of my brain."
"I use my brain on the bull's-eye," I said, "Mr. Chen, you're right, I'm wrong."
He gave me a deep look, his eyes full of wisdom, scientists have their own world, not common people can understand.
"Drilling into the universe is very enlightening, isn't it?" I searched for words.
"Looking at a telescope day and night? That's how I lost my wife." He laughs, "Let's talk about something pleasant."
"Good." I say, "It's a hahaha day."
He laughed at my amusement.
"What do you like about me?" I asked frankly, "Or because I'm the only single woman in the group?"
"I like your temperament." He said, "You know, there is such a thing as temperament."
"Thanks for being nice to me." I said.
"No, thank you for being nice to me." He said.
"It was nice meeting you." He said, "Can I have your Hong Kong number?"
I gave him my company's number. "Call when you have time."
"You'll answer?" He smiled.
I smile back.
Bumping into me on the street, he wouldn't recognize me, he wouldn't like me in Hong Kong. One of three hundred thousand female white-collar workers. The masses of people. In the district salary I have long lost myself.
Just these few days I am real.
Back in Hong Kong, put on makeup, into the model, exactly the same as other mediocre powder, what temperament is buried in the five buckets of rice, why would he still be interested in me.
Pathetic.
When we returned to the flight, did not sit together, after the plane, the people a mix, I picked up my own luggage, and did not wait for them, turned around and walked away, raised his hand and grabbed a taxi home, I longed to use the Ti shaped soap bath painfully deserted most of the hour, and then slept until dawn, the holiday is very tight, tomorrow will have to go to work.
Will Chen call me?
Or he will, or he won't.
He is a cloud in the sky, projected by chance ......