Most parents or caregivers think that babies a few months old have no self-awareness and no memory, so they pay little attention to the emotional needs of their babies, and just follow their own feeding habits to give them what they need to eat, drink, and be happy.
However, it is not clear that the newborn baby needs to be emotionally responsive. Psychology believes that newborn babies have a sense of omnipotence narcissism, that is, they think that they can do anything, they just need to move the idea, willing to be able to realize. If the mother and other caregivers can give him a timely response at this time, it can satisfy the baby's omnipotent narcissism and lay a stable foundation for his future self-confidence and self-esteem.
On the other hand, if mothers and other caregivers treat their babies purely according to their own care habits, for example, some mothers make strict plans for the frequency and time of feeding their babies, and some mothers feed their babies whenever it is convenient for them, completely ignoring their babies' own needs, this will make their babies experience psychological frustration, and destroy their sense of omnipotence prematurely, which is very unfavorable to their later psychological development. This is very unfavorable to his future psychological development.
One year to three years old is the key period of the child's psychological development in the family environment, this period of time their main characteristic is curiosity, driven by curiosity, they will try and explore, to touch, to touch, but also in the process, they will learn to crawl, walk, talk, etc., and more importantly they will learn how to insist and give up.
But we also know that parents at this stage often love their children, fearing that the child will fall, bumped, so they will try to prevent as much as possible, so that the child to stay in a limited, no danger of space, this approach is to let the child looks very safe, care for it is also very trouble-free, but hindered the child's psychological development, so that the child's curiosity should have, strong, confidence and other positive qualities to develop.
For example, a few meters away from the living room, there is a rag doll, the child is about to stagger over to get it, the mother was in a hurry, a child into the arms of a hand, his own a big step over, took the rag doll, handed it to the child. Mom's substitution would have made the child feel that mom was awesome instead of feeling awesome, and he would have been able to experience perseverance and gain confidence in such a process, but all of that disappeared because of mom's substitution.
After the age of three, the child will gradually come out from the family environment and start to go to kindergarten, elementary school and middle school. At this time, the child's mobility will be further enhanced, because he can walk, can run, and can carry his own, so he will become further "disobedient".
In the first stage, parents can completely "control" the child, because the child's actions are subject to the parents, but from this stage onwards, it is different, the child will go to their own actions to achieve their own wishes, so the parents can only use "you have to be obedient", Therefore, parents can only use "you have to be obedient", "you have to know what to do" this kind of "obedient" education to manage children. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on some of the most popular products and services in the world, and then you can get your hands on some of the most popular products and services in the world.
The most common type of "obedient" education grows up, is the repression, they repress their own real needs, respond to the external false needs, the development of a false self, the world responds to this false self, which will become a habitual psychological pattern, he will follow this pattern to deal with others, in this mode will often experience self-centeredness, the most important thing is the development of the new generation, the new generation of the new generation. In this mode, he will often experience low self-esteem, be introverted, afraid to express himself, and even be particularly sensitive and watchful, and in more severe cases, become groveling.
When children grow up and become adults, parents should learn to let go. Psychologist Wu Zhihong said that all love points to aggregation and intimacy, but only parental love points to separation. It is quality love that allows children to better separate from their parents to build their own relational world. Then this stage is the time to test parental love, whether children can separate from the shelter of their parents and build their own relational world, and whether the parents can put their children in a secondary position and have their own life.
Obviously, in our real life, it is often the parents and the child **** born together, parents for the child, the child is dependent on the parents, in the eyes of the parents their own children are the most important, themselves and their partners are secondary, for the child, he wants to repay the parents, back to the parents, their wives are ranked in the back of the parents, which in the view of the psychology is extremely unhealthy development mode! I think this is an inevitable result of the reversal of the parenting process, where parents raise their children this way and the children grow up to raise their own children this way, and this pattern is passed on from generation to generation.
But we also see that with the progress of the times, the development of society, more and more children and parents become independent, the children can be healthy out of the house, to build their own relationship with the world, the parents can also for their own life, to go to a senior university, dancing, develop their own hobbies, everything is changing for the better.
Change is a process, and we believe that the upside-down process of parenting will one day be smoothed out.