Everyone knows that children are nicknamed "four-legged gold-eating beasts". Whether it is their living expenses or education expenses, parents need to work hard to afford them.
As the saying goes, "You can't have your cake and eat it too." Many new parents are faced with a two-way choice between family and career after the baby is born. After considering many aspects, many parents will choose the baby Leave it to the elderly to take care of you, while you go out to work to provide a better living environment for your children.
However, due to the different growth environment of the elderly, their own parenting concepts are generally different from those of young parents. Over time, they may evolve into "fake parenting", in other words, they only do superficial things.
Although the old man’s way of raising children seems to be dedicated, in fact he often “goes on strike” in educating his children and is unable to give them correct guidance.
My former colleague, Sister Liu, is a strong woman in the workplace. She has a strong and straightforward personality, so when she speaks and does things, she feels like she is giving orders. This is especially true in the area of ??childcare.
On this day, Sister Liu invited some colleagues with whom she was close to have dinner and recounted her troubles. Sister Liu's son is 4 years old. Because the couple is busy with work, she sent the baby to her mother-in-law's house after the kindergarten holiday.
Later, Sister Liu would call her mother-in-law every day after get off work, telling her not to watch TV for her children and to help consolidate their homework. Although her mother-in-law and Sister Liu had different views on parenting, they both agreed well. of. But when Sister Liu finished her work ahead of schedule and went to pick up her children, her mother-in-law gave her a "big surprise" in the way she took care of her children.
She found that instead of studying at home, her child was holding her grandma’s mobile phone and watching animation, with snacks from an unknown manufacturer beside her. Her mother-in-law was chatting with the neighbors in another room, talking between words. He also brags about how hard it is to take care of his grandson.
Such a situation made Sister Liu very angry. After the neighbor left, she asked her mother-in-law why she did not take care of the baby as she had told her to do, but allowed her grandson to play like this. However, her mother-in-law justifiably Said: "My old lady can't learn how you young people raise children. If you send your grandson to me, I will just watch. It is your job as a parent to educate your children, and I have nothing to do with it."
Sister Liu said that she felt very helpless about the old man’s way of raising children. In her opinion, no matter who the child is, they should fulfill their responsibilities of education and guidance. If they are all like her mother-in-law, they only care about making money for themselves. , giving outsiders the impression of being a "good grandma" in raising children, but in fact "strike" in this regard is essentially detrimental to the growth of children and is irresponsible to grandchildren.
Some elderly people are not enthusiastic about raising children. They prefer to live their own lives, so whenever they face their children, most of them just talk and do superficial things to prove that they care about their children. , but when it really needs to be implemented, it starts to be perfunctory.
For example, when parents ask the elderly to help watch their children do their homework, they rarely provide guidance and supervision, even if the children are playing while writing, and they will use excuses such as "I don't understand" to excuse them. parents.
This kind of old people will not pay special attention to their words and deeds, nor will they avoid their children by swearing, spitting and other behaviors, setting a wrong example for them.
In addition, elderly people who like to take care of their children generally will not change their lifestyles for the sake of their grandchildren. Most of them will take their children to play mahjong, square dance, and chat downstairs. Over time, children growing up in such an environment will also form some bad habits.
For a dual-income family, it is probably the best choice for the elderly to be responsible for taking care of the children, but this presupposes that the elderly can pay more attention to taking care of the children and fulfill their obligations.
If the elderly themselves are resistant to raising children, then instead of playing around, the couple should discuss how to raise the children in their own way.
For example, after the children come home from school, parents alternately tutor their homework, and take advantage of the holidays to take the children out to see the scenery. Such a meaningful life is more fulfilling than playing with mobile phones at an elderly home. Much.