Blogger's Statement:
She and I are both divorced, and our children are with each other. She and I are in neighboring cities, an hour's drive back and forth. We exchanged our hearts through the Internet and were attracted to each other's hearts and thus came together. In my more downtrodden, she did not dislike me, but also for me to buy a lot of things. Every time we go out to eat is basically her bill, and I only sent 2 times to her. She is the kind of woman who has had a lot of experiences and can see through a lot of things. She believes in Buddhism and even said that one day she will cut her hair and become a nun.
She and I made our relationship official on New Year's Eve this year, and I went to her house every week, and she did all the grocery shopping and I did all the cooking. At first I thought this life is what she wanted, often talk about something in the future, which laid the groundwork for her to leave me. I promised to go with her to see the 3D version of Titanic, go to the beach on May 1, get married and go to Hulu Sea and so on. She was also looking forward to it. But in the end the movie did not see, the beach has not yet gone, she broke up with me.
At first I hid the fact that I was also divorced. in April, when I went to her house, she said she was divorced and a few years older than me, and that she was very unsure of herself. That's when I confessed that I was also divorced. She was shocked and said she knew I was hiding something from her, but she accepted it later. But in hindsight it was a big blow to her and she trusted me a lot less from that point on.
The real breaking point was May 1st. Because of the rain did not go to the beach, and she wanted to go on a trip, so she went rafting with the group. The day after she came back, my ex-wife came to Guangzhou and stayed at my house because my brother had surgery. There were many times in the past, when I was shopping with her, my ex-wife would call and I purposely didn't answer. One time she found out and got very angry. I explained half a day before she reluctantly accepted. My ex-wife has been pestering me a lot lately to get remarried, but we've been divorced for 4 years and have no feelings for her anymore. This time my ex-wife checked my computer records and found out about me and her. My ex-wife had a fight with her using QQ and she was going to break up with me that night.
I talked to her on the phone for a long time and finally she said she would give me a chance, but over the next few days I chose to do things in ways that she didn't value. I avoided caring about her and didn't explain the reason why my ex came to my house. She became more and more frustrated with me and in the meantime she tried to accept other suitors but didn't start.
Then she said she was completely down on me and told me to give up. I went to her city that night and waited for her in front of her house. She saw me immediately avoided, I was very difficult, with a cell phone sent a lot of messages to call her a relationship liar. But then I immediately regretted, in the next day on the group to ask for her forgiveness, said a lot, but she ignored me. Finally she came out and said: she was fed up with me talking nonsense and making a laughing stock of others by publicizing my affair with her in the group, and she was completely disappointed in me.
Later I used another QQ number to be good friends with her, we talked about everything, and even scolded herself with her to help her to analyze the object of her going on a blind date. I just want to use this way in her side to guard her, but unfortunately the good times don't last long. After less than 10 days of being friends with her, she said she wanted to meet me and see my photos. I said I don't have a photo, it's not convenient to meet for the time being. She asked me a who I am, I know she suspected, did not answer positively. She said she knew it was me and said I was evil and told me to leave her world and that if I appeared in front of her again, she would die for me. She said that the ugly side of human nature is revealed to me. She will never add anyone to her Q again. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that, but I think I'm going to be able to do it.
Now I can only use another friend's QQ number to pay attention to her, but that friend of mine doesn't have a deep relationship with her. I don't want to lose her, she appeared when I was most down and didn't dislike me. When I realized that my image in her mind was so bad, my heart was cut to pieces. I want to stay out of contact with her for a while, and show up when I'm at a level of competence where I can appear less useless to her, which doesn't really need to take a long time, this year is enough. I'm even planning to deliver flowers and a gift to her the day before her birthday in makeup as a courier.
I'm actually aware that my chances of getting back together with her are less than one in a million, but I don't want to give up on someone so close to my heart. I don't know if this is irrational. She's the only person I can't calm down. I couldn't even work for almost a month.
Actually, I just want to know if I can get her forgiveness, or what method to use to get her forgiveness. She is very fond of reading urban romance novels and books about the mind and psychology. She knows too much about hearts and human nature, even she herself is afraid of her own calmness and indifference.
Blogger's analysis:
What does this man do? His sentence reveals it "I want to stay out of contact with her for a while, and then show up when I've reached a certain level of competence where I can be in front of her and not look so useless, and it doesn't really need to take a long time, this year is enough." He didn't have a proper job and specialized in speculating on stocks at home. Right now his stocks are all hedged, so he's poor.
"When I was more down and out, she didn't dislike me and bought a lot of things for me. She basically paid the bill every time we went out to eat, and I only gave her things 2 times." The worst time he was down was when he first got divorced, and he had almost nothing left except the money in his stock account. The market was bad, he was incredibly depressed and started engaging in online dating again to de-stress himself. He met this woman who believes in Buddhism, at first he did not want to do anything, the heart is still thinking of remarriage, so did not tell her that he is also divorced. He has a wealth of experience in online chatting, constantly praising her, comforting her, sweet words sticking to the heart, and instantly charmed this big sister.
This is a woman with a performative personality who has finally found the stage of her dreams with him. She gained confidence, rejuvenated and glorified herself while fantasizing about him, so believed everything that came out of his mouth and believed that she would be rewarded twice as much for all her efforts, so was very willing to pay for him. It was so addictive that he seemed to be suffering now.
"My ex-wife came to Guangzhou because of my brother's surgery and stayed at my house." He is from Guangzhou and his ex-wife is from out of town. After the divorce, she left Guangzhou and he lived back at his parents' house. It was because of being at his parents' house that he was able to fulfill the lie of why he was almost 40 years old and still unmarried. He must have labeled himself as an infatuated and good man who is very filial to his parents and is in love with his first love, which he is now having a hard time forgetting. He has the advantage of cooking and serving the woman "Every week I go to her house and it's always her who buys the food and me who cooks." This is what convinced this older sister that he was an ideal husband and made his ex-wife want to remarry him.
He had been looking for reasons not to establish a relationship with this big sister, so their sex life was nonexistent. He didn't have that need for her, and she was full of putting that need after establishing a relationship because they both prided themselves on being moral people. Finally, after giving up on the idea of remarrying his ex-wife when he thought she couldn't stay away from him anyway, he agreed to make things official with her "She and I officially established our relationship as a couple on New Year's Eve this year". After entering the so-called love stage, she was very disappointed, on the one hand, he is very stingy, buy food are not willing to spend money; on the other hand, his sexual ability is not strong, there are many shortcomings exposed. She began to regret these years of payment.
Finally, one day in April, she was ready to break up with him. She made up an excuse at the time "She said she was divorced and a few years older than me and she was very unsure." It must have been because she repeatedly emphasized her insecurity and lack of confidence in the future and was adamant about breaking up with him that he, in an effort to assuage her concerns, revealed the secret that he was also divorced. "At the time she was stunned and said she knew I was hiding something from her, but then she accepted it. But in hindsight that time hit her hard from that point on she trusted me a lot less." Her shock at the time could be completely described as a dream come true, she especially hated him because she was the Goddess of Wisdom, so well versed in the human heart, how could she be fooled like that? He had long ago figured out how to explain why he was hiding it, so with even a few words and an act, she verbally forgave him. When he left, she immediately sobered up, determined to break up with him.
"I promised to accompany her to see the 3D version of the "Titanic", to play on the beach on May 1, to get married and go to Hulu Sea and so on. She also looked forward to. But in the end, the movie did not see, the beach has not yet gone, she broke up with me." He still gave her a pie in the face and refused to spend money for her, and she was sure that he really didn't have any money, and she thought that her previous investment would be considered a meat bag, so she caught him at fault and firmly broke up.
What follows is an ugly, ugly situation. He pestered her, one is to fantasize that she can still pay for him as before, and the other is to feel hurt, he has to vent his anger. She insulted him, but also to vent anger, seeking psychological balance; on the other hand, she also enjoys his pestering, as usual, can give her own very good and charming feeling. So also give him some hints "She said she knew it was me, that I was evil, and told me to get out of her world, and that if I ever appeared in front of her again, she'd die for me." She doesn't care that he would die for him? So he continues to pester and has a particularly romantic idea "I even plan to dress up as a courier to deliver flowers and gifts to her the day before her birthday."
In fact, the underlying reason he pestered her like this was that he was under a lot of internal stress and needed to decompress. His feelings of hurt do not come from this older sister, but from his ex-wife and his parents, who are pressuring him to remarry. His ex-wife divorced him in the first place for two reasons: 1, he was lazy and didn't go to work, fearing that he would lose all the family's money by speculating on stocks every day; 2, he engaged in online dating, which broke her heart. He can do laundry and cook the advantages of his shortcomings can not be plugged, so resolutely and he divorced. Now she wants to remarry, is found after the divorce is not good at all to find, no man's day she was afraid, so want to turn back. However, she does not make much money, he can not see her, determined not to remarry.
The man in love, the goddess-like woman, peeled off the coat, but is so vulgar, stupid and ridiculous. The first time I saw this, it was a very good thing that I was able to see it.