It's not like you don't know what you're getting into, but you don't know what you're getting into, and you don't know what you're getting into.
Every sincere and loyal children, have believed that the day will come, believe that their own success and success in the day of return home, you can be comfortable to do filial piety, but unfortunately people forget the cruelty of time.
Parents in, life still has a place; parents go, life is only left to return.
Chou Guoping said, "It is instinctive to be critical of those close to you, but it is a kind of upbringing to overcome this instinct and not be critical of those close to you."
When we were young, we were always tired of coping with our parents' nagging, accusing them of discipline, and always looking forward to growing up quickly and being able to get away from the family bondage and flying far away.
When we have our own children, we realize that all the nagging of the parents contain concern, all the discipline are revealed in the reluctance.
Standing in the middle of the long road of life at this time, looking forward and backward are all confused, at this time, realize that parents are not easy.
We have read this story:
Father was 80 years old, and he had Alzheimer's.
The father was a man of the world.
One day sparrows flew past the window and he asked, "What's that?"
The son said, "Sparrows."
After a while the father asked again, "What is that?"
The son said impatiently, "A sparrow."
Not long after the father asked what it was, the son got annoyed:
"I said it was a sparrow, you're done!"
Father heard, silently sitting in the wheelchair, no longer say anything.
A year later, his father died.
Son in organizing his belongings, found his father's diary a few decades ago: my son was three years old, a sparrow flew out of the window, he pointed to his little hand and asked what it was, I said it was a sparrow.
Son kept asking, I kept answering, son asked 15 times, I answered 15 times, son is so cute.
Seeing this, my son was in tears ......
Parents love their children, pouring out all their energy, but they can't afford to ask for a single cent. And we lose our patience and forget what a happy time we are in when we should be most filial.
Have more patience for your parents' nagging, and respond more to your parents' concern, just as we tolerate our own sons and daughters, and to your parents, have more love!
Children are like kites in the sky, enjoying themselves in the vast expanse of the breeze; parents are like the kite under the spool, pulling with all their might, just to fulfill the children's piece of blue sky.
Time passes, the kite flies higher and higher, more and more busy; the spool turns more and more old, more and more nagging.
The kite began to perfunctorily talk to the spool every time, and spent less time with the spool.
Until one day, the thread broke.
The kite lost its way and fluttered around in the endless sky, unable to find a place to land.
Life, many people in pursuit of the so-called dream of fame and fortune uprooted from their homes, and waited until they said goodbye to their parents forever, only to wake up, tasted all the regret.
Yue Yunpeng has said in the program: his most regrettable thing, is that when his father died, he was not around.
Yue Yunpeng followed De Yunshe to perform in Germany in 2013, when master Guo Degang told him about his father's death.
After learning the news, he had two choices: buy a plane ticket back home to Henan province, or stay and sing "The Song of the Five Rings".
Returning to his hometown in Henan means giving up the show, giving up the opportunity to prepare with his brothers and sisters, and not necessarily seeing his father for the last time, which is obviously not realistic.
That night, he still brought people a lot of laughter, but also that night, after the show, he cried like a child.
People are not afraid of the regrets of the powerless, afraid of the fear of their own easy to do things, but let it become an irreparable regret.
Parents are our closest people, they witnessed our birth and grow up, but we have to face the parents of the aging and death, the former is happy, the latter is sad, but also born in the cycle.
Parents in, we are like the root of the flowers, although the petals withered but the root of the strong.
Parents go, we only have a rootless shell, although the flower branch in, but the heart has been withered.
Say a cliché: "Homecoming!"
Chat with your parents, help your parents do work, even if you can't be with them all the time, don't always bring warmth to the phone video.
Give your parents a hug, let them feel your body temperature, hear your heartbeat. Don't wait until the day when you call out "Mom and Dad" and no one responds, only to feel endless regret and regret.
Don't believe in the so-called long time to come, don't leave regrets to your own life, to be in time, enjoy the company.
Do your homework before it's too late, don't just shout a slogan, go home and stay with your parents today!
Everyone's life, there is a man, he is always a serious face, silent, sometimes you will still have such and such a corner with him, but he has served as an important role in your life indispensable.
Both mentally and verbally, you often fight with him, and many times you want to escape from his strict discipline, and he fought to the end.
He, the Chinese father.
Martin describes the relationship between father and son, talking about how in many families in China, the actors in this role always do not do well what should be done, for example: they are always not accompanied, do not understand, do not communicate, and ultimately, at the end of their lives, only to realize that so much love for their own children, but the lack of regret for the rest of their lives.
Father's love has no words, but like a mountain.
The kite breaks the line, will lose the direction; the big mountain also have collapsed to fill the time.
Now how many more sons and daughters are patient with the elderly at home? Just like when our parents took great pains to bring us up.
I have always felt ashamed to hold my head up because my father was a sanitation worker.
That year, after my unremitting efforts, I was admitted to a major high school, I thought I could be far away from home, but my father was excited to tell me that in the future he would change to work on the road to our school.
I did not hold back for a moment, and shouted angrily: What are you doing here, and not enough shame? And then threw the door out, leaving my father standing there flabbergasted.
To the next day, my mother and I said, let me not be angry because of this, my father went back to the original road to work.
That winter was really cold, I came to the school gate early when I was not far away but saw a familiar figure, he saw me looking at him, also found me, and quickly hid.
I was curious and slowly walked over, surprisingly, I found that it was my father.
He instantly turned red in the face, rubbed his frozen red hands uneasily, and stammered: I talked to your mom and told him not to tell you, and to say that I'm back in the same place. Every day I come early to clean and then hide, just to see you try hard every day, but today you found out.
A cold wind blew, and I realized with a jolt how stupid I was to have a father who loved me so y and didn't even know it.
For the first time in my life, I hugged him tightly and shed tears of remorse like in the movies.
Don't leave the best for the outsiders, but leave the worst temper for those closest to you.
Most children are born into ordinary families, but a father's love for his children knows no bounds.
Life is bitter, the father's love is speechless, sometimes the father always silently pick up the burden of carrying a family, because they carry not only the burden, but also the deep love for their children.
If it were not for the fact that someone is carrying the load for you, there would be no such thing as a good time.
You will never know how simple the meals on their table are when you are not at home.
You will also never know how many times they counted down behind their backs the day you said you were coming home.
You casually mention that the future is still long, and for them it may be a long way off;
You casually mention which dish is good, and they'll do it again and again and again until you mention the other.
Don't just get used to receiving, but learn to be grateful. All their lives, they have been desperately trying to be good to their children.
There is an ancient story about a filial son that has been passed down to this day.
The father of this filial son was very strict, often teaching his child harshly when he made a mistake, and even hitting him.
When he grew up, his father's way of teaching remained unchanged, and once he hit him, he suddenly burst into tears. The father was surprised that he had never cried in all these decades of beating him.
Then his father asked him: Why are you crying?
He replied: I used to feel pain when you hit me.
But I know that my father did it to educate me.
But today you hit me and I don't feel pain anymore.
This shows that father's body is not as good as it used to be, and the time I can be by your side to accompany you is getting shorter and shorter. I can't help the grief I feel when I think about it.
Parents in order to raise us, pay most of the life, white hair, worry about the eyebrow, worry about the heart.
Being a son, we should be filial to our parents.
In the world of affection, compared to the tender and rambling mother's love, the father's love is always less shiny, sometimes the balance of love is more able to let you grow, so do not doubt that, no matter what kind, you have to believe that your parents love you.
2015 Global Chinese College Students Short Poem Competition, Shanghai Jiaotong University Luo Junpeng's winning work, just a few lines to see countless people cried:
Three years old, you said let me wait for you for five minutes;
There is no doubt that your parents love you. At twenty-three, and you haven't come back.
Dad, I don't want the ice cream across the street now.
Parents in, there is still a place for life; parents go, life is only left to return. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands dirty.
Recently, a domestic parenting education program, "Teenagers Say", triggered a lot of attention and discussion.
Japanese variety show "rooftop confession", is a high school student standing on the rooftop to like people shouting confession, so the operation of warm fried many old aunties skin thick heart.
This time, the Chinese version of the "rooftop confession" is the children stand on the stage to the parents shouting, the results also blew up, blew open the parents of the status quo parent-child relationship in China - <
Parents are the strangers who love their children the most, and the last "pit" of the children are the parents. The children's shouting, a true reflection of the current problems in education.
A girl named Yuan Jingyi stood up on the stage and "spat" at her mother.
Mom never really saw her. Her daily conversations with her always centered around "other people's children. The one person who appears most often in her conversations with her mom is her best friend, the school bully.
She is always being compared by her own mom on a scale with her academic performance, overall ability, and school year ranking as the only indicators.
If you don't do well in a test, you'll be held back in the subject you're lagging behind in; but your strengths are always ignored, not encouraged or appreciated.
Off-stage pro-mom heard, the response given is, do not encourage in order to better motivate, afraid of praise will make her light. strong>
Despite taking a step back and pointing out that there are good things about her daughter, the daughter on stage wasn't buying it. Instead, the schoolteacher best friend beside her talked about the impression Yuan Jingyi gave, which brought her to tears instantly - "Yuan Jingyi has infected all the students in our class with her own share of enthusiasm" - and that's what it takes to truly understand and be seen.
And in the eyes of her mom, her daughter's kindness, enthusiasm, and infectiousness that she brings to others have all become invisible in front of the report card. Yuan Jingyi ran off the stage in tears as her own mother's analysis turned almost sarcastic in the end.
It's intriguing that this was an outcome that Yuan Jingyi predicted - before she went onstage, she said with disappointment, "My mom is going to dislike me a lot.
Yuan Jingyi's mom's "disdainful love" is not an isolated case, but one of the ways it manifests itself is through "all the support that comes with strings attached".
There was also a girl who had been studying dance for seven years, and who loved it and had a talent for it, but was ordered by her mother to stop because of her studies.
She wanted to let her mom know her love of dance and the dream she had hidden in her heart, but her mom responded by saying, "Next time you get into the top 100 in your grade, you can learn.
The girl was angry and cried. At this major middle school, such a request was basically tantamount to a rebuff in a short time.
Finally, in an awkward stalemate, the mom agreed, as if in a bargain, that the "top 150" would do.
One of the more shocking details is that the first words out of the mouth of a seemingly teenage boy are a plea of "I don't want to eat apples and eggs anymore"
Jesus, why would a boy that age, that age, that age, that age, that age, that age, that age, that age? A live explanation of "how mommy's boys are formed"? The first thing you need to do is to make sure that you have a good understanding of what you're doing and how you're going to do it.
The scene condensed in The Boys Speak is a true reflection of how many Chinese parents educate their children?
Parents can't see their real children, only their "imagined children"
Some people say that because they're in middle school, their parents are under tremendous pressure to get through school, and they should be understanding.
No, this is the kind of educational gesture that I think is common to most Chinese children.
Remember the documentary film "After Zero"?
It is impressive that the first child, Xikun, is 8 years old and has a mother who is willing to "give everything for him", but never heard Xikun's true thoughts.
Sikkun learns magic, his mother forced him to perform on stage, his reluctant mother can not see, and only think "this is for his own good.
XiQun summer camp, the purpose is to cultivate the ability to survive independently, the rare pick up the phone to talk to his mother, the results of the mother remote "command" tomorrow should wear which clothes which pants, the phone this side of the only left to talk about.
The couple who had a second child only saw their older daughter change and become distant from them, but never thought about what she was thinking, or the embarrassment she was experiencing.
Gifts as bait to guide the daughter to play with her sister, but also on the side of the cell phone video, consciously happy, but the daughter said helplessly, "I do not want to play with my sister at all", "since there is a sister, they never cared about my feelings". The first time I saw this, I was able to see it on the screen.
She even sneered, "It's ridiculous that the family performs so well.
As another documentary about homeschooling, Mirrors, puts it, the child is a mirror of the family.
Parents don't want to accept their children for who they really are, they just want to accept them for who they think they should be.
In order to control, at the expense of the child's "pain"
Writer Maijia in the "Reader" on the relationship with his son, the ice period of many years, until his son went abroad to study, a letter Maijia's The first time I saw him, I was so happy to see him, and I was so happy to see him, and I was so happy to see him. They began to ease up and try to communicate. In the parent-child relationship, parents are neither good expressers nor good listeners. Parents are merely arbiters and referees. The natural high ground, exercising their own arbitrariness and control.
"Teen Talk" and "Zero Zero Zero" are just reflections of the state of the child's adolescence, and the story of the child's growing up to adulthood is interpreted every day around us and even on us.
Not to the point of marriage and children, parents and even the whole family have the right to interfere in the humiliation, hate to overstep;
Even if the child to set up a family, resolutely live together, because "separation is unfilial! "
Controlling life's chores without a sense of boundaries, pointing fingers at things you don't understand, and making simple life stressful.
Once upon a time I couldn't figure out one thing, that many parents are unable to accept being polite and cordial with their adult children.
For example, they have to say some harsh words, get angry with each other, and then reconcile with each other in a bitter way, and the cycle of fatigue goes on and on and on; or they have to deliberately create some trouble and conflict, consuming more of their children's time and energy, in order to establish their own authority.
Later I realized -
Because the Chinese style of parenting has never been equal. Parents don't really understand "respect", and when their children grow up out of control, they become giant babies who have to cause trouble, even pain, to feel safe and experience a deep but unhealthy connection.
Don't think there's only love between parents and children, there can be a lot of hate between parents and children.
The seven-year-old girl in the movie Girl Genius, Mary inherits her mother's talent for math, but just wants to have the joy of being an ordinary child.
Her mother, Diane, commits depression and suicide, leaving behind unfinished solutions to math equations. The grandmother and the girl's uncle Frank fight for custody, wanting her daughter's unfinished business to be continued by her granddaughter.
The MIT-educated grandmother has believed in her own educational philosophy all her life, and her greatest dream: to turn her daughter's genius genes into something that will be admired for generations to come.
What she didn't know was that she had already solved the equation before she died, but she had deliberately told her brother to "wait until after mom died". and then take it out again".
But death has not escaped the control of the mother, this obsession, continued into the next generation.
The dead daughter is hating her mother, and she wants to use her life and the things that her mother cared about the most, to make a final claim and resistance.
If you think about it, isn't this just another form of the very sad adult version of "rooftop confession"?
The Teenager Speaks is very painful to watch. What education is all about, first and foremost, is respecting the individuality, independence, and imperfection of the child - we are all imperfect, so why should we demand perfection from our children?
Is it because we don't understand this simple truth, or is it because we know too much about our own imperfections, and we take out our aggression on our children?
I'd like to end this article with an indictment of Chinese education by a British student who was treated with such tough love in a BBC documentary.
She was a schoolgirl who was driven to the point of collapse simply because she wasn't good enough at sports.
She accurately describes what it feels like to be loved in such a controlling, oppressive, even humiliating way -
"to live in perpetual comparison with others, to live an unhealthy life," she says. and living in unhealthy lifestyles and reminding you that even when you do your best, you're not good enough."
I hope none of us give our kids that feeling, let's **** together.