Lines from the funny skit The Legend of the New White Lady

Characters: White Lady, Green Snake, Xu Xian, Fa Hai "Waiting for a Thousand Years" music plays, White Lady dances, limited to one minute. White: Qing'er, Qing'er, come on. Qing: Come on, sister, I need to put on some make-up, come on, come on, come on, come on! White: Wow, you're really ugly with makeup. Qing: Sister, you're too kind. Bai: Qing'er, quickly follow me. Green: Oops, sister, what's your hurry? We only come out once in 500 years. You see, that Yang's change is really big ah, sister Linglong Internet cafe is open, we go on a QQ, steal a vegetable? Bai: Qing'er, don't be greedy, otherwise, if we can't reach Nayang Bridge today, we'll miss our encounter with Xu Xian. Qing: Sister, are you talking about that V man? Bai: No nonsense, Qing'er. If it wasn't for Xu Xian saving my life back then, I wouldn't be here today. Green: oops sister, not I say you, what kind of man in this world do not have ah, kill pigs, cattle, pick flowers, for example, the streets of the black (local language) how capable, where there is his home, that is not better than him? Bai: Qing'er, sister I like Xu Xian. Qing: That's good, even if you like him, that Yang so many handsome men, this sea of people, where can we find him to go, the weather is so cold that even get up need great courage, who will still come out. White: Qing'er, you do not know, five hundred years ago, Xu Xian sent a love token to me, and promised to meet at this Na Yang Bridge. Qing: Hee hee, sister, what is that love token? (White took out fifty dollars) White: This is it, fifty dollars Qing: Aiya sister, this fifty dollars is Xu Xian that year under the bride price White: Right is the bride price, huh, less I am also willing to marry him Qing: Omega, fifty dollars bride price you are also willing to marry? White: Silly green child we are now in the ancient times a, 50 mosquito chicken I have been a rich woman me. Sister is married to a person, of course, also want money. (Dubbing (1) thousand years, etc.) Listen, Qing'er, someone is coming. Qing: Then let's hide, and then see if it is Xu Xian, if so, we will come out to meet him. White: Uh-huh. (Bai and Qing dance to the side of the stage, not off the stage). (Music playing (2) The Legend of the New White Lady - The Transition): Xu Xian comes on stage with a book Xu: (reading a book) That Yang land, that Yang slope, that Yang handsome man is more, that Yang grass, that Yang tree, that Yang boy is cool, this year's New Year's Eve will not be married ah, to be married to marry that Yang people, especially people like me. The blind date bitter, blind date tired, phase half a day not match, and give smoke and give sugar, in the end or yellow. Green: Sister, look, is the gentleman on the broken bridge Xu Xian? White: Uh-huh ~ this, this, this fool can hear. Qing'er, quickly go to the door to propose marriage under the bride price Qing: Qing'er understands. (Throwing money) Aiya, who's 50 Wen chicken, Aiya, who's 50 Wen chicken ...... Xu: Aiya, whose money, which one's money? Which one's money? Bai: Narrator: Lei Di Sen and Low Folks, please pay attention, at this time, the distance between Xu Xian and the White Lady is only ...... I measure look, ouch my kidney le a go, a centimeter a, a centimeter a, in the chanting of that poem after they have since fallen in love with each other. action. Xu: Miss, Guan Guan Ju turtledove in the river of the continent, the fair lady gentleman good martyred. White: good poem Xu:, girl ah, this life I know you no longer regret White: (singing) mountains outside the green mountains outside the building, the son of the body strong as ox. The spring breeze has made people drunk (Xu: good poem). Xu: Miss talent and appearance, I seem to have seen, but I can not remember where I have seen you, ah, you let me run through my memories White: Mr., do not run through, we have met Xu: Mr.? I'm asking, are you talking to me? White: 500 years ago, you saved my life. Today, I'm here to repay the favor by marrying you. Hsu: Miss, are you mistaken? Five hundred years ago was my grandfather's grandfather, eunuch's eunuch's business, it has nothing to do with me. White: Well, let's not talk about five hundred years ago, let's talk about now. Let's take this fifty dollars to buy a ten square meter house Xu: Miss ah, now the price of housing is too expensive, on your this money ah, even the big head of vegetables can not afford to buy. Bai: You forget, we are in ancient times, this fifty dollars, you are a rich man, I am a rich woman. Hsu: Oh, you mean you can rent a ten square meter house with this fifty dollars? (White: Uh-huh.) Let's get married? WHITE: Great. HUI: Become a couple? White: I do! Hsu: Then, ma'am, can I, can I, can I? One? White: Can what? Xu: I still have my first kiss, you know. Bai: Well, you're a bully (lightly punches Xu Xian) Xu Xian is about to kiss the White Lady's lips when the White Lady suddenly covers Xu Xian's mouth Bai: Stor! XU: Aigoo mama, I'm about to boink here, and you're still messing with my good deed. Who's spying? Get out! Fa Hai comes on stage with a glass of wine (Pinyin (3) doo ah doo) Fa: Lao Na subdued the demons and removed the devils, and mistakenly entered the depths of Nayang, startling countless couples! Vomit! Vomit! White: No good, it's Fa Hai! Law: White Suzhen, the old Na Fa Hai come to collect you! Wow teeth teeth teeth teeth teeth teeth teeth ...... White: Fa Hai, you three times to chase pester me, today I'm with you to fight (cross swords) Xu: slow! Mother, let for my husband I to clean up his (roll sleeves) that whoever, people are talking about marriage, you run here to make what mess. Fa: You are a human being, she is a demon, your union is a human and a demon, I don't agree to your marriage. Xu: What makes you not agree to our marriage? Are you the one who stamps steel seals at the Civil Affairs Bureau? Fa: Master, you are mistaken, I am here to collect this snake demon. Hsu: What snake demon are you collecting? Where did the snake demon come from? Don't pretend. I could tell from the start that you're here to steal the marriage. She's already my wife. You, get lost. Law: Get lost, I'm going to collect her, get lost. Hsu: Who are you collecting? Law: Bai Suzhen ah Xu: I ask you what you do Law: I ah? (Hsu: Uh-huh) Oh poor road Hsu: (slapping Fa Hai) What channel? What channel are you on? Fa: (helplessly) Uh, okay, I admit it, I'm from Hengxian Nayang International Channel, here to collect Bai Suzhen? Fa: Yeah. Hsu: So you're here to collect Bai Suzhen, do you have a magic weapon? Fa: I have a magic weapon Hsu: What magic weapon? 法海亮出酒杯 許：我明白了，你拿一个酒杯来，就是要祝我们谈婚成功，要和我喝一杯，来，我们来猜两马。 Fa: who drink a cup with you, who come two horses with you, I only know rock-paper-scissors, know what this is? Hsu: Wine cups. Law: Yes, this is a wine cup. Do you know what a wine glass means? Hsu: What does it mean? Fa: Now I tell you, the result of your love with Bai Suzhen is just like it, a cup (tragedy) Xu: Ah, if you take a cup to collect us today, our love is a tragedy, then if you take a washing machine tomorrow, then our love is still a comedy Fa: Shi Master, you are a human being, she is a demon, and your union will bring great disasters to the earth, such as drinking water and stuffing your teeth, and raising a pig that is only as small as a mouse, and a mouse that is only as big as a pig. Rats are only only as big as pigs. Hsu: At most, we will be a human and a demon, what kind of disaster can there be? Fa: Oops, I'm not going to parse that much with you. White Suzhen, today I must take you! The magic weapon slowly absorbs Bai Suzhen White: official ~ Xu Xian eyes and hands quickly blocked the magic weapon, forcing Fa Hai to withdraw the magic weapon Xu: Fat, I beg you, as long as you do not accept my mother, I swear that in my next life, I will help you to pick flowers, herding cows, to raise wives and second wives to keep a mistress to keep a lover, and in the morning, I will get up at three o'clock and cook breakfast for you to get up at four o'clock to wake you up, and I beg you to let me have one day of vacation on Sundays. White: What are you going to do on Sunday? Xu: people still have to date you Law: raise a wife I can let you, package two milk to raise a lover also give you Kai is not cheap you, no, I do not agree! White Suzhen, today I must accept you White: official ~ Xu: mother ~ wrong, accept the wrong, accept the wrong "thousand years waiting for a time" music played France: accept ah, accept ah, alas, the poor signal of the Unicom used to know! Three people holding fists leaning forward and back, swimming, paddling, looking at each other, Xu Bai's head to draw a circle, the law into the Xu Bai back, the law back Xu Bai into the law and Xu bullfighting law: white Suzhen, today I must collect you Xu: ah, Fat, collect law: the Unicom signal is poor! I'm sorry, but I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to get through to you today. Bai Suzhen, I'm going to have to take you in. Bai: Officer ~ Xu: Mother ~ Bai: Officer, you have to take a last look at our son. You haven't had one yet. Bai: Sorry, I forgot. If I could be with you in my next life, I'd be willing to live in a ten square meter house. Hsu: Ten square meters and you're willing? White: I'm willing. Xu: Oh, I'm so touched. White: Officer, I love you. Xu: Ma'am, I love you to White: (Dubbed (4) Fahai, you don't understand love) Fahai, why don't you agree with our love? Don't you want us to be happy? Not to be separated/Fa Hai/You really don't understand love Bai: (Singing) You said/we can't be together right/but you don't understand me/I found my love on earth/love/Hsu Hsien/Hsu Hsien/my lover Fa: Bai Suzhen, don't talk demonic words again, see me I'm going to take you in, take it in! (Dubbed (5) The New White Lady, take away) Bai Suzhen fell to the ground (While Fahai was taking away, the music was playing again) Bai: Officer Xu: Maiden Bai: Officer Xu: Maiden Bai: Officer take care of yourself, I have no regrets for marrying you in this life, I'll marry you in the next life, Xu: Maiden (Xu Xian fell to the ground and Bai Suzhen took hands, Fahai went over to separate them, and as a result, Bai Suzzhen was taken away) (Dubbed (6) The sound of thunder breaking glass) (Voiceover (6) Breaking Glass and Thunder) The script was originally published on CoffeeBarScripts.com: /Article/qg/37320.html