There is a line in the previous hit TV series "Knowing" that made a deep impression on me. Old Mrs. Sheng looked at Minglan kindly and said, "A family always owes each other." At that time, I didn't have a deep feeling about this line, but as I have seen more and more of the human world, my understanding of this line has become deeper and deeper.
The formation of a family unit is sustained by the marriage contract and the bloodline inheritance, while the growth of the next generation is poured into the heart and soul of the whole family. In Chinese families, intergenerational parenting is common, and for grandparents who have been separated, it is not only a way of sharing the stress of life for their children, but also a way of accompanying their grandchildren as they grow up and building a grandparent-grandchild bond that is thicker than water.
Children don't lie, and in a child's world the better he is treated, the better he is treated. It's like a lot of kids who are brought up by their grandparents, when asked who they love the most, they usually don't say their parents, they say the grandpa or grandma who has been with them the longest.
It is said that companionship is the deepest confession, and those elders who don't want to be there for them, as time goes by, finally get a taste of their own medicine when they need someone to be there for them.
South American writer Garcia Marquez said: the so-called kinship is based on the blood above the flowers, but such a flower if not through years and years of irrigation, even if the blood is still there, the flowers will wither. As the saying goes: there is no such thing as love without a cause, and there is no such thing as hate without a cause. Some time ago, my best friend Zhao Hui encountered such a thing. The mother-in-law, who has not communicated with her for more than ten years, made an unprecedented phone call, and as soon as she got on the phone, the sound of crying and cursing came from the other side.
"You must be the mother who taught me why Ruirui never comes to see me. People have grandchildren to visit the nursing home, why don't I have any? It must be you who have a bad conscience and how many bad things you have said about me in front of Rui Rui! "
The mother-in-law on the other end of the phone was very agitated, while Zhao Hui on the other end of the phone just calmly said: "Mom, your grandson Rui Rui is 13 years old this year, have you come to see him once? Have you fulfilled your responsibility as a grandmother? "
The mother-in-law on the other end of the phone was instantly speechless, and in the dead silence Zhao Hui hung up the phone, the original waves of life by this phone call back to the old days, when she was just married to her husband, and her mother-in-law and his family crammed into an 80 square feet of hut, the life of the poor.
In fact, Zhao Hui is very sympathetic to her mother-in-law, who was widowed at an early age, and has survived until her son started a family, and wants to enjoy the psychological well-being of the understandable, but at that time the couple's career was in the initial stage of Zhao Hui, and they went out all day long, and couldn't wait to get a few more hours out of the day. Over time, the mother-in-law, who was at home cleaning, washing and cooking, complained a little.
"I thought I could have a little bit of my own day after I got married, but it would be better if you didn't get married! This day after day of laundry and cooking, you have to pay for a longtime laborer!"
The mother-in-law's complaints were like bullets in Zhao Hui's heart, and she did not know that she had to take care of the family, but her husband's career could not be separated from her support, and she thought that she would put up with her mother-in-law's cold words and put the days of the gulp down, but the appearance of an accident has made the family's face and the heart of the situation of the complete tense up.
Professor Li Meijin said: "A child may become the bridge between a broken family relationship and the trigger that intensifies the family conflict. Zhao Hui, who had been unwell for several days, braced herself for a checkup after working the night shift, only to realize that she was already a month pregnant.
The results of this test made Zhao Hui both sad and happy. She knew that her husband had always wanted to have a child, but it was not the right time for her to have a child, because there was no way to accommodate a new life in the crowded little house. More importantly, the question of who would bring up the child became very real.
Just as Zhao Hui expected, when her husband told her mother-in-law about the pregnancy, her mother-in-law's face flashed with an unspeakable expression, and she simply said, "I'm old and my back is not good, so I can't take care of a child."
In fact, Zhao Hui knew her mother-in-law's mind, and she also knew one of her mother-in-law's secrets, a secret that even her husband didn't know. When her mother-in-law was dancing, she met someone her own age, and the two lonely old people seemed to have found their souls, as if they were newlyweds. Since she had fallen in love, she couldn't wait to get out of the house every day, and when she came back, she was very impatient about doing housework and so on.
In the face of her husband's anger, her mother-in-law was unmoved: "You are my hand to bring up, the end of half of the body into the earth, you still want me to give you a child? You're a vampire, you won't stop until you've sucked me dry!" The anger that had been accumulated for a long time completely erupted at that moment, and the mother-in-law stood up and pointed at the surrounding area, shouting, "The house that you are living in now is mine, and the food and clothes that you eat every day are all given to you by me. Now I'm going to live my own life, none of you are qualified to interfere with me!"
"Mom, don't we work hard to start a business to give you a happy old age? And the grandchildren are also your grandchildren ah ......" Zhao Hui's words had not finished, but was backed up by her mother-in-law's sentence, "I'll pay for my own old age, there is no need for you to interfere!"
The words to this Zhao Hui persuaded her husband not to say it again, the two together for a night, the next day to pack up all the things from the mother-in-law's house moved out, those unforgivable days, Zhao Hui with the children to work, at night, a family of three on the husband's rented room to sleep in the storefront, and struggled to survive for five or six years, and saw her husband's career take off, the days are gradually getting better and better. The company's business is also a good one.
Time is the best antidote. Although in their most difficult time, the heart cursed the mother-in-law countless times, but with the passage of time, Zhao Hui's hatred of her mother-in-law also disappeared without a trace. On New Year's holidays, she would still take the initiative to prepare things for her husband to send back, only she never set foot in that home again.
"I don't hate you, but I won't forgive you either." When the matter of that year was brought up again, Zhao Hui simply said this.
Afterward, occasionally talking with her husband, Zhao Hui heard only a few words from her mother-in-law over the years. It was as if the mother-in-law herself had envisioned it, and when Zhao Hui moved out, her mother-in-law brought home someone she met at a square dance, and the two of them were sweet for a while before they broke up for some unknown reason.
And then later, the mother-in-law then sold the house and lived in a nursing home, in the age of her peers with grandchildren, the mother-in-law alone in a dashing way in the nursing home to enjoy their old age. When her husband said this, Zhao Hui said with a leathery smile, "It's great that everyone is living the life they want."
But it's like a person who knows what's good for him or her, the mother-in-law, who has been staying in the nursing home, knows better than anyone that she's not happy, and that she had a fall in the middle of the night some time ago, and that she didn't have a person to help her after she shouted for help for a half-day, and that she survived until the next day to be helped to her bed.
The caregivers in the nursing home are not uncaring, but for some reason Zhao Hui's mother-in-law always felt that she was separated from the caregivers by a layer of membrane, and she was not comfortable. In the hospital, to see other people's beds are friends and relatives, children and grandchildren in the shore, Zhao Hui mother-in-law still can not hold back, nestled in the quilt himself cried a big one.
When her son came, the mother-in-law scolded her son is a black-hearted white-eyed wolf, think about it is not yet relieved she gave her daughter-in-law Zhao Hui called, which led to the beginning of the article that scene.
"Why is my grandson not close to me, but close to your mother, how many bad things have you said about me?" In the face of her mother-in-law's reproach, Zhao Hui didn't get angry, she just said lightly, "Is Rui Rui your grandson? He is 13 years old this year, have you ever brought him up for a day? Have you ever cooked a meal for him? You were the one who said that you don't need us to take care of him in the future, but now how come you miss the love of flesh and blood?"
After hanging up the phone, Zhao Hui mother-in-law could not help but lose her voice and cry, she had thought that she took the money to sell the house can be exchanged for dignity and warmth, but I did not expect her to lose, is the world's most precious love. The woman who was once arrogant and unbeatable and insisted on not bringing her grandchildren to her mother-in-law finally remembered her desperate words and repented when she was lingering on her deathbed.
What do you think, does Zhao Hui still have to manage her mother-in-law? Quickly in the comments section together with your views? However, I think that Zhao Hui's attitude to deal with it is really worth learning from everyone: I don't hate you, but I won't forgive you either. What do you think?