Misheard
A foreigner took a 50 yen ticket and waved it in front of the conductor: Have you seen it ? Have you seen it? ......
The ticket seller was dumbfounded and simply took out a 100 Show: Have you seen it?
Finally, I realized that the man wanted to go to "Jianguomen".
Chasing the bus
In the morning, I was rushing to catch the bus, and by the time I got to the platform, the bus had already started. So I had to chase and shout: "Master, wait for me! Master, wait for me ah! "At this time a passenger poked his head out of the car window and said to me:" eight ring you don't chase."
La ring
A very fat woman on the bus, can not find a seat, can only pull the car's pull ring, I did not expect the driver a sharp braking, the fat woman to pull the ring pulled off, and all of a sudden jumped to the driver in front of the driver, the driver looked at her and her hands pull the ring, said in a bad mood, "set full three, to send the driver to sign a photo! "
Campus classic slip of the tongue
4. junior high school gym class, the day of the sick, I am a sports committee, so that we lined up, I would have liked to leave the note to the gym teacher, the results of the touch into a dime bill, I did not react, said "I asked for a leave"
After, we laughed out loud!
The teacher was very happy, and for a week I was the topic of conversation, and it was a very cold day.
5. high school political education director in a school report will criticize some like to see XXXXXX boys: "not proud, but ashamed", laugh down a large
6. in the playground, the teacher said: male students stand in my left, female students stand in my right, the rest of the place is not moving ...... The first time I saw this, it was a very good thing that I was able to get a good deal out of it.
13. A teacher overnight mahjong, see the blackboard is not wiped, angry: "Who is sitting today ah? The blackboard is not wiped!"
20. Once to see Dou Wentao talk about their own just when the host of the embarrassing things, not to mention the opening hold into the curtain ..... The most let me spit is that he said once hosted a party, calmly go up, said fondly: "Friends, you have seen the Yellow River? You know it is our mother river ~~" After some affectionate introduction of the Yellow River, he said: "Please listen to the following "Song of the Yangtze River"
21. high school class to go to the physical examination, blood pressure when the same class of a mm found that the blood pressure to their own measurement of the blood pressure is actually a male classmate in junior high school, as if in the internship there. It seems that the internship there, the mm's sleeve is always not up, a rush on the boys said: Why don't I take off my pants? The boy's face immediately red, said: ah, no need. That mm estimated cold dead
23. I ran into a long desired girl out of the bathhouse, want to set close, held half a day to hold out a sentence: "You bath ah, inside the male more or less ah?"
25. To visit the factory, I saw an assembly line, I blurted out: "What is this production line out of the goods?"
26. Once on the road to recognize the wrong person, go up to a hard slap, the person turned to eat me in general, I was nervous, said: It's okay, recognized the wrong ...
30. Obviously, the phone call is home, a mouth to ask: "Dad, where are you?" The father on the other side of the phone was confused. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to get a good deal on this, but I'm sure I'll be able to!
1, recently, the company organized a singing contest, the manager proposed that everyone on, to a chorus, so that can fully reflect the cohesion of all employees, the song selected for the "we are all family". Wednesday afternoon, the game as scheduled. When the staff took a neat step on the stage, the manager stepped forward: "We offer a small chorus, the name of the song is "We are a family of people" ......"
2, the classroom, the teacher came out with a judgment question asked the classmates to decide on the spot whether it is correct or incorrect.
The teacher: "Xiaolin, please judge."
Kobayashi: "I think the answer should be 'wrong'."
Teacher: "Why?"
Kobayashi: "Because Xiaoyan answered 'correct' earlier, but you didn't sit her down."
3. On a dark night, a cloaked white woman sat in the last row of seats on the last bus.
The bus drove forward, and the driver glanced in the rearview mirror and suddenly realized that the woman was gone. He braked quickly, opened his eyes wide to look closely, and the woman reappeared, making the driver's heart beat faster in fear.
After a while, he looked in the rearview mirror again and realized that the woman was gone again, he hurriedly braked, but he found that the woman's face was full of blood! The driver was so scared that his face was white and his legs were weak, but he heard the woman say, "Brother, I have a grudge against you ah, I tie my shoelace you step on the brakes."
4, a medical school director, with a group of students to a hospital for clinical internship. When they came to a certain ward, the director said, "Go in later, take a look and diagnose this patient's condition, think about it and see what kind of disease he is suffering from, nod your head if you know, and shake your head if you don't know."
Student A went in and looked at him for a while, chewed on his pencil and thought about it, and shook his head helplessly. Changing to Student B, he went in and looked around, also shaking his head hopelessly. Then Student C went in, sighed, shook his head and walked out. When Ding Sheng walked in, only to see that patient rushed down to the bed, full of tears, grabbed him and said, "Doctor ah, please save me, I do not want to die ah!"