1. Father's love is like a mountain
On the twelfth night of the first month of 1975, I was running around the street with my buddies and playing wildly, and my father called me home, and said in a consultative tone, "You're not going to Handan?" Although after the winter holidays I will be reading junior high school, but go out the farthest place is five miles away from the commune seat, even the county have not been. When I heard that I was going to Handan, I was naturally happy to go. My mother explained: "We have little land to ourselves, the food distributed by the team is not enough to eat, not to turn this cabbage into cash, the family will have to stop before the first month of the year. You go and help your father look after the car." So under my mother's watchful eye. My father and I pulled the tip of a row of car cabbages on foot to seventy miles away from Handan.
Walking fast, to Handan just dawn. In the Su Cao Junction market sold a day, to darkness still left a small portion, had to make plans to live. Most of the rows of car cabbages can not sell a few dollars, naturally, do not dare to live in the hotel, ate from home to bring a cold ice after the nest, to the city to go. At that time Su Cao and the city there is still a distance, in the middle of all the vegetable fields. To the area of the current Hankwang Club, stopped outside the gate of an unknown unit, the north side of the door has heating pipes. "Here, sleep here." My father said, laying a sack on the ground, letting me lie down against the heating pipes, wrapping me in a quilt he had brought with him when he arrived, and then, for fear of the quilt falling off, loosely wrapping me and the pipes together with a rope. Hungry and tired, in a while I went to sleep, and my father in the cold cold night guarding the vegetable cart to dawn. When I thought about it later, I always reproached myself in my heart: why didn't I think of giving my father a break at that time?
In 1980, my mother died of illness, and I was admitted to school, adding to the family's already difficult economic situation. In order to subsidize my school living expenses, my father wanted to do a little business, but there is no capital, my father in the winter of this year to buy sweet potatoes from elsewhere to cook and then go to sell. In Yongnian along the Busan River, accidentally fell down with the car, the river was very large, if not by the trees on the slope of the river to hang on to, it may be out of great danger it. This matter father never said, is a few years later I heard from the mouth of an old township, when the old township to Canton to catch the market, happened to pass by here, to help my father to move the car on the river. The old townsman said with fear: "The river below is so big that if it were not for the tree stopping it, it would be bad enough to fall down."
Father is a strong character, in the family, as long as he stared, my sister and brother and I do not dare to speak. Although he was illiterate and couldn't reason, his love for his children was so heavy and hot.
Our siblings have all started their own families, and in 1993, my brother and I moved to Handan, and with our busy schedules, we had fewer chances to go back to see our father, who lived alone in his hometown, but never complained. One winter snow just passed, his wife went back home to the original unit to make up for the payroll procedures, came back to me and said: "the old man at home life is quite good, if not for me to go back, ready to ride a bike to our two homes to send onions miles, for fear that we eat dumplings at the winter solstice no vegetables." Luckily, discouragement, the highway snow has not disappeared, cars are afraid to drive fast, let alone a bicycle seventy-year-old man.
The year before last, on the first day of the tenth lunar month, my brother went back to my mother to burn paper, came back to talk about my father, my brother's face: "Our father's body is not a problem, it is to see the old, the waist is bent, the teeth have fallen out, my father asked me to tell you that there is no urgent matter do not run back, don't knot remember him. When I left, my father sent me two miles away, and had to give me his lighter." Later, around my father, my brother and I said a lot more, and finally both shed tears. Because this heavy father's love is indeed heartbreaking.
2. The man called Dad
Friends around me, mentioning their own dads, the deepest impression, either smoking, drinking, or gambling.
After listening to this, I secretly felt happy in my heart, it seems that my dad is not a three good men, but n good men, hehehe!
Dad, a common farmer, do not love smoking, do not love drinking, more do not love gambling, have the responsibility, love his wife, love his daughter ......
Dad's pockets will occasionally put a packet of cigarettes, but do not smoke, just, and which of his brothers get together, to come out to support the scene, he will occasionally smoke a mouth or two, and then extinguished. Then it's out.
Dad would not have been able to drink, I remember once, in someone else's wedding banquet, was forced to toast, toasting a little dizzy, get up to go, who expected, a stagger, forehead and the corner of the wall came into a close contact, and then, pasted a band-aid for a whole week, and then, in the dad's consciousness, wine, it is more not a good thing!
Dad never gambled because he hated it and said that it was something that only people who were not doing their jobs did, and when they won, they wanted to win more, and when they lost, they wanted to win back what they had lost, and they were not the God of Gamblers, and they would always win every time they gambled, and they would rather have the money than take it to buy food, which is more practical! Don't think that Dad's life is not much fun, read a book, read the news is his greatest pleasure!
To be honest, in my opinion, the father of the mother is still quite loving, remember, the mother's health is not good to work outside, the father of the phone from time to time to play a past, "destroy" the mother's willpower, said to earn so little money is not as good as to go home to enjoy the blessings of the family does not lack of that money, in fact, the father is the heart of the mother is not worth it! In fact, Dad is heartbroken that Mom is not worth it to exhaust her body for such a small amount of money; secondly, Mom is not there, Dad feels that there is not even a person to talk to. But in the end, the mom is still silly to go back, hehehe!
It is said that the daughter is the lover of the father in the past life, I think this is not unreasonable!
Remember, at that time in junior high school, the end of spring and early summer, the climate is cold and hot, thought that the summer, light with cool clothes, which know, the next day, heavy rain, the temperature plummeted, thought to be frozen to death, at this time, the dad drove in the pouring rain, in order to give me a piece of cotton, and on the way out, but also urged "fast wear"! I was freezing to death. Looking at the back of his father's gradual departure, a small figure has long been in tears!
One more time, people worry about the "small disaster", so that life is not slow dad, panicked, worried about the heart, read the sophomore year, sleepy from the bed fell into the hospital, mom said that from three or four o'clock in the morning to receive a phone call from me in trouble, how can't close his eyes, hated to immediately dawn, the daybreak, dad bought Xianyou to Zhangzhou ticket, and then hoofed it. As soon as the sun came up, Dad bought a ticket from Xianyou to Zhangzhou and rushed to the hospital to bring me home. I know that from the moment I received the phone call, every minute and every second was so tormenting for my father. I'm sorry that I made you worry.
Luckily, after a month of recuperating at home, I slowly recovered, but I don't know how much my dad had to worry about during that time.
The world's most loving man, sometimes looking at his back, I will inexplicably heartache.
Wishing Dad good health and peace for the rest of his life!
If there is an afterlife, I hope that I can be a parent and return to my father's love in this world.
Dad, love you
3. My father is the past of my life
Maybe my memory still exists, but I have become the past. The jasmine flowers brought back from the street are quietly placed on my bedside table, I silently stared at it, my thoughts became very confused, and also very floating. There are many things in the world that can be replaced, but only life can not, and those who have been the past, presenting a nostalgic certain pieces, even in the dimness of the stars and moon, not inevitably some sadness. Many a time, I hardened myself not to let my tears flow.
I lived with a vain nostalgia. Starting to hang my white soul on a big invisible tree, I made this choice to escape the attacks of the world. I wanted to turn off my cell phone, close the security door, and live a meditative life. In the dead of night, I felt alone, confused and lost. I am a person who doesn't like to talk much, so whenever I am left alone in the house, it is silent. I liked this peace in front of me, but this peace would soon be broken by the shouting in the family yard. It was like a sunset in a river being shattered with a piece of stone.
I have thought about this realization of life, but the position of the "fixed" in reality, as well as the order of life has not changed at all. When I gazed longingly at the bouquet of jasmine on the counter, I felt the soul of the flower was attached to the molecules of the air in my heart, and I began to understand that I have no reason to hurt the heart of the people who love me, and I saw my father's smile, and I saw a lot of things I should have seen, and I began to re-examine the value of life and courage.
Throughout the spring I looked up at the sky to see a white cloud or a blue sky further away. Such looking up became my daily need, and everything was so peaceful and tranquil. I like this kind of meditation in life, in this kind of silence, I suddenly remembered my father told me a paragraph "people are carrying a lot of debt to this world." Thinking of my father's hardworking energy that he had spent his whole life, I realized what it meant to be devoted to his work and to be devoted to his life. The debt that my father mentioned is probably the social responsibility that a person should bear.
I love literature, but in my fascination with literature, I feel that my father is great. I need to read books and read more books. But my family is really poor, and every time I asked my father for money, my eyes overflowed with tears "Dad, I want to buy books." My father always smiled and said, "I'll sell some grain and give you money." Looking at my father and my mother, who was sick all the time, I was tormented by a kind of embarrassment, guilt and bitterness, and a kind of hot liquid would come out. I knew that the hot, hot stuff was none other than my tears.
I am a very stubborn person. I read and wrote at the same time.In the winter of 1989, one day, I suddenly burst into the house with a copy of Xi'an Workers' Literature and Art, pointing to a poem and saying, "Dad, I've been published." My father smiled at me, and I smiled back. When I look at my father's smile, I always think of my long experience in literature, and my father's figure comes to my mind. I know the responsibility of being a son, my father's happiness and joy is that I keep going, that is my diligent pursuit of literature.
I climbed up the ladder built by books, and my father's smile has always been my spiritual watch. I have been doing a kind of transmutation with words, and I have seen my father's smile, which is the expectation of a pair of eyes that makes me very warm to this day when I think about it. I shed tears as I recalled it, and I filled my memories with tears of a touching and warmth that one loved one expresses in a peculiar way to another in the passing of life.
My father is the passing of my life, and at the same time I am the passing of my father's life. The existence and significance of my father's love is to influence me in a quiet way, so that I can learn to be grateful and take on life with a grateful heart and enjoy it. When I was exhausted, really want to sleep, my mind still have the last bit of consciousness, I saw my father still smiling at me.