01
There's actually a question on 知乎上：Why do so many people drive home and sit in the car for so long when they get downstairs. There's an answer with a particularly high number of likes. He said:
A lot of times I don't want to get out of the car either, because it's a demarcation point. Push open the door of the car you are the wood, rice, oil and salt, is the father, is the son, is the husband, only not your own; in the car, a person in the car want to be quiet, smoke a cigarette, this body belongs to themselves.
A girl told me that every time she and her boyfriend quarreled with sad sad not afraid of no place to go, throttle a stirrup wandering around, crying a can hold six months, and then make up a makeup back, cheeky playful continue to play the game down.
Yes, living is very tiring ah, every day to play a variety of roles to endure the temper to face a variety of people, and constantly instill in themselves "mature" "high emotional intelligence" code of conduct.
If a man, he may be a father, a husband, a son, a friend in the eyes of a successful man, but only in the car when he is himself, a dark and narrow space, a light and dark cigarettes, the evening fm hosts of the light words, only to let you realize that "self" existence, that feeling is really good. The only thing that will make you realize the existence of "self" is the feeling that it is really good.
02
Adults do not have the word easy in their lives, and there is one thing that I am particularly impressed with. When I was a kid, the first KFC was opened in our city. My dad took me there to try it out. He bought me a burger, fries, and orange juice. As a little kid, this was the happiest moment of my life. Of course, I am not a white-eyed wolf, but still took the fries to my dad and said, "You try it, it's delicious.
My dad just looked at me kindly and said, I'm not hungry, you eat on the line.
My dad just looked at me kindly and said, "I'm not hungry, just eat.
He was hungry. It's just that his status as a father didn't allow him to fight for the fries that belonged to me.
There was once a moving picture that went viral of a boy in a Japanese subway, sitting there gnawing on bread, holding back his aggression, tears seemingly about to come to his eyes. No one knows what happened to him, but that heartache, everyone understands. There were a bunch of unspeakable stories behind anyone. But that outfit of his positioned him with a decent identity. This identity, so that he can do nothing but hold back from crying.
There's a particularly famous line in This Killer Is Not Too Cold, where Mathilde asks if life has always been this hard, or only childhood. Lyon says, always.
The price of adulthood is that we lose ourselves, because we can only hide our true selves in the car, and when we open the door and walk out, we have to smile at everyone.
03
I have a friend Amy, is a particularly easy to cheer the girl. If a person has a keyword, her keyword is laughter. She likes to tell jokes, and the movies she recommends to us are all comedies. Even if she encounters any problems at work or in life, she is especially optimistic, which causes everyone to talk to her as soon as they have negative energy.
Last night at eleven o'clock, when she came to me with a big bag, she was very tired. She came home late from working overtime and was evicted by her landlord. She said the lease was up and she was not going to rent it.
Why didn't you tell me in advance? Amy has no idea what she's getting herself into.
I've never seen her so unhappy, so I didn't know how to comfort her. And she joked with me in return: you say I'm not overdoing it with this wave of water retrogression.
Her understatement made me fume in my heart.
At this time, her phone suddenly rang. She said, I am quite good ...... have eaten ...... work quite happy ...... new rented house is very close to the company, ten minutes to the... ...Oops mom you can rest assured, I am so big, can take care of themselves.
When she answered the phone, the big traveling bag she was carrying was not put down.
Looking at her strong appearance, I wanted to cry.
I said, "I'm tired, go to bed early. She still smiled and said, "You go to sleep first, I have a program to hand in tomorrow.
It's a good thing that I've been working on this for a long time.
I went to bed first.
I went to bed first, and when I got up in the middle of the night to drink some water, I found Amy sitting on the couch, no lights on, only the light from the laptop on her lap printed on her face, full of tears.
I don't know how long she cried like that. Even looking at her wooden expression, I felt that she might not even know she was crying.
The most complete collapse of a person is this, quietly, lifelessly silent tears.
This reminds me of a popular tweet I read a while back: "The breakdown of modern man is a silent breakdown. It looks normal, will laugh, will fight, will socialize, the surface calm, in fact, the heart of the bad things have accumulated to a certain extent. There will be no slamming of doors and smashing of things, no tears or hysteria. But it may suddenly build up to an extreme level at a certain second, and not speak or really break down, and not really want to live or dare to die."
04
There was once an article that broke the circle of friends called "I'm CEO, Bitch". Inside the tone of flirtation, said a lot of entrepreneurs' pain. I took the article, forwarded it to a startup dog friend, and within two minutes he sent me a string of crying emojis, then sent over a quote from the article:
I sleep like a baby, and I cry out every two hours. I often feel like I have the whole world one day, but the next day I'll feel like the world is leaving me.
That's my life now, he said.
This friend, never in front of us, is a look of vitality, full of positive energy, and even, when we have no pain, can not get through, we like to talk to him, because he is too positive.
But behind all this positivity, it is the anxiety of having your hair fall out, and crying silently every night. In life, the most horrible loneliness is not that no one understands, but being misunderstood.
I have a senior, graduated from the university began to entrepreneurship, after three years with me to say the most words are young people do not always want to start a business, do not always want to be the boss, always think that there is a dream must be able to rely on their own efforts to achieve, now found that there is no money is not qualified to talk about the dream, every day when you open your eyes is the rent, water and electricity, property costs, the company's various expenditures are more than most of the imagined, and once he told me, the next day to be the first day, the next day to the next day to the next day to the next day to the next day. Once he told me that the next day to pay wages, no money, with all the relatives and friends borrowed a whole, he said when the boss, the most afraid of is sorry employees.
I also have a friend, finally after ten years of working for someone, I feel ready to start a business. I found a few friends **** with the opening of an advertising company.
After the first three months of the honeymoon period, a partner, had to say that we do not have the same philosophy, to break up the partnership. Originally are brothers and friends, because of the interest reasons, tearing tear to the people all know. Not only did they leave, but they also took their own customers and teams away.
Create a business even when the year together with the urine of the bed of buddies are turned face. The friend has no time to feel bad, and next month's salary to pay, but also to the suppliers to close the accounts ...... he had to hurry to find new customers, investors, to the fear of the staff to play chicken blood.
He wanted to cry, wanted to yell, and even wanted to fight with that buddy, but he could not do anything. He can only go to the small garden near his home after work every day, sit for a while, see the big mom and dad dancing in the square, clean up his mood, and go home to face his parents and wife with a smile, and play with his children.
He later told me that he cried when he was watching the moncler jackets. Because he looked at them full of happiness, especially envy.
In the eyes of others, he is a responsible father, a responsible husband, a filial son, a boss who earns a lot of money. But he himself knows that he is a nearly drained, facing the mid-life crisis of the man, not even the happiness of square dancing.
Everyone's life is never easy. Not easy in that you know full well that the real you, has long been packaged by these social identities to the point of abandonment, or even buried. But you have no way back, there is no second choice, you can only cry and crawl to those who have high expectations of the identity to play on.
But everyone, no matter how hard to climb, acting more difficult, deep down, there will be a weak to the fast extinguished voice, constantly torturing themselves: the meaning of life in the end is what? Is it the experience of being in the red dust, or the epiphany of seeing through the red dust. What is on the other side of the mountain? We can only know if we climb over.
05
I especially like the lyrics of the song "What'up": 25 years of my life is over, and I'm still trying to climb over that mountain of hope, in order to make life meaningful.
I don't want to say, the quagmire will always pass, the stars and the sea beckon to you. Even I don't think suffering is necessary. But the moment to find the meaning of life, precisely in, when you get through, hold on, you can use God's perspective to look at the year that the struggle to the teeth bared their own time.
Life is really like climbing a mountain. At the foot of the mountain, we are a child, naive, the frog in the bottom of the well. Climbed to the halfway point of the mountain only to find that the physical cost of light, downhill has been no road, but also afraid of heights do not dare to look back; climb up, hands and feet and do not see to move another step. But those who can climb over, are those who can hold on.
The first thing you need to do is to get out of the way and get out of the way.
I still remember that in "The Fancy", Tony Leung was suffocated by the pressure of his own feelings, and he went to Cambodia to find a tree hole, and told the secret of his heart, so that he could continue to move forward.
- THE END -