2. I'm not fat, I'm just a mermaid that's been in the ocean too long and swollen.
3. The day I took away the beggar's bowl full of money, I was surprised to cure him of his years of disability.
4. Life is like a news broadcast, not to change the station can escape.
5. The spare tire countless, ambiguous constantly, which can not show that very good, can only show that very cheap is also very match. And it's usually the extremely good people who are more likely to be single, like me.
6. Eat, I want, thin, also I want, both can not get both, I have a go also.
7. The old man of the month, we will retire if we can't do it. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on a new one, and you'll be able to do that. The first thing you need to do is to get the money to pay for it.
8. Apple is the real boss of the fruit world. One tempted Eve, one smashed woke up Newton, one became a cell phone brand, one dominated the square dance.
9. The story of Meng's mother's three moves actually shows that she has a good son, if I were to move a hundred times, it would be useless!
10. "My wife made me a millionaire." "What did you used to be?" "Billionaire."
11. The boy and girl had a fight, and the angry girl yelled, "Get outta here!" Boy also angry back: "Well, roll on roll." The girl looked at the back of the departure could not help but cry, the boy turned around and shouted: "Cry what? I'll come back at night."
12. They say that in front of the favorite person will become stupid, do I like the homework? It can't be.
13. Everyone's life is a book, yours might be called the Field of Happiness, and mine is called the Book of Jokes.
14. I heard that quitting smoking can extend your life by ten years, so I repeatedly quit . Smoking . Quit smoking and smoking again, the secret of immortality was found by me.
15. When I was a child, I looked at my brother's notebook in high school, function and so on, a bunch of messy simply can not read, I was thinking that high school students are good ah, will be so difficult to things, until I went to high school I just know, it turns out that they also do not know.
16. It is said that the test paper is sent down must be kissed first, which is called stable over, finished, the last big question of the number is how many?
17.Since I bought a BBK cell phone, every step is a step of fear.
18. You come over here for a moment, there are three words hidden in my heart for a long time, can you ...... get out of here!
19. A brother with a younger sister is usually very gentle, but a sister with a younger brother usually turns into a shrew in three seconds!
20. Today outside the windy, wife insisted on wearing a skirt out, just out of the doorway wife tugged me back and said: "I want to change a pair of pants." I said: "Today actually long brain?" My wife said a shocking words: "Today the wind is strong, I want to go home to change a pair of beautiful underwear!"
21. Life is like Super Mario, before you add mushrooms, a little kingpin can screw you.
22. Skipped too many classes, yesterday wanted to go to class, see the professor, the professor surprised to say, so long no see, grow so big.
23. Mosquitoes are God, you do not buy some mosquito incense to burn, it will always bite you.
24. We never copy homework, we just answer the porter.
25. Some women are like pears, the surface is very sweet, the heart is sour; some women are like watermelons, the skin is thick, but the heart is the sweetest.
26. "Describe your looks in one sentence" "Don't mention it."
27. Eaters are generally kinder because all they think about every day is eating and they don't have time to count others.
28. Bad grades, bad temper, bad character, bad temperament, bad looks, the only thing I'm proud of is my good digestion.
29. Stay up all night because you don't have the courage to end the day, stay in bed because you don't have the courage to start the day.
30. "How many sentences I like you can not compare to a good coincidence in September next year" "Good coincidence ah, you also come here to sweep the toilet." "Yeah, yeah, so you didn't get into college either."
31. Life is to stab you over and over again with a knife, while still blaming you for not practicing the knife and gun for so long!
32. I asked the bully how to get to 140 in math, and he said to write two less fill-in-the-blanks questions on the line. That's really enough!
33. When we went to a picnic, some people brought shovels, others brought dishes and chopsticks, and others brought all kinds of food, but in the end everyone went hungry because no one was willing to take the blame.
34. Just now a person sat next to me, I went over and slapped, how can I squeeze my invisible wings.
35. Recently, I have gained weight again, and when I smile on the phone, my face can touch the hang-up button.
36. I heard that a thing for a thing, then can I use the acne for money, fat is also OK.
37. I always thought I was a warrior, able to face everything honestly. I gave up on that idea until Netflix removed my makeup!
38. "How to euphemistically describe someone as ugly" "This face is poor."
39. Mobile payment facilitates everyone's life, no need to go to the bank, no need to open the wallet, anytime, anywhere, you can know how poor you are!