Recently, I saw the uncle created by the security guard downstairs in the community, and I looked depressed. According to the past, he said hello when he saw himself entering the community. He didn't notice me until I walked into the security booth. I felt something was wrong and took the initiative to say hello to Chuangjian: "Chuangjian, what's wrong? Why does it look like a frosted eggplant? "
"Hey, it's a long story. There is a fire in the backyard, and my old face has no place to put it. "
"The backyard is on fire? Creation, are you talking nonsense? What happened to your wife Xiuying? Huh? "
"Well, it's my wife. Recently, she got a little close to a man in our neighborhood. I didn't know at first, but my neighbor reminded me that that man often danced square dance with my wife. I didn't believe it at first either. I think my wife and I have had grandchildren for decades. I don't believe that she can play that trick in TV series. I didn't expect it to be staged. I can't believe it now.
"Create, what's the situation? I feel that I can't respond at once, which is quite confusing. "
"In fact, this is not a long story. I'm not a security guard in our neighborhood. I just earn some extra money. Xiuying has nothing to do with chatting with her sisters, running around the door and shopping. I don't care. Recently, I don't know who took her away and began to secretly love square dance. I go dancing after supper every day. Sometimes I have to work the night shift, so I can't always stay at home with her and supervise her. After all, I thought it was good for her to be at home alone. People have something to do and feel comfortable, so I don't have to worry about it, but I haven't thought about it. I found that she was always absent-minded when I came home recently, and chatting with her was not as enthusiastic as before. I didn't think much. Only after dinner every day does she go to the square dance in a hurry like going to work. After all, she and her wife have been together for almost 30 years, and everyone thinks that she is buried. "
Create smoked a cigarette, paused and continued: "When my neighbor told me this, I really didn't believe it at first, so I went home and confronted her. I didn't expect her to be so frank and admit it directly. I was also puzzled. I had nothing more to say, so I asked her why she did it. We are an old couple, and our son and daughter-in-law are doing well outside. I came to be a security guard just to find something to do. You are really ...
I listened carefully and asked, "What did your wife Xiuying say?"
"What she said really makes me angry. She said that she has lived in this forest for 30 years, and I have always lived with it. I didn't feel how interesting life was until I met the man in the square dance. I think I wasted 30 years with me. To tell the truth, I have dedicated myself to this family. When I was young, I earned money outside to support my family and supported my son to go to college for postgraduate study. Now that my son is married, I'm a little relaxed. I just want to work as a security guard in our community to find some work, and earn some living expenses by the way, so as not to increase the burden on my children. Now that this has happened, I have lost all my face. Walking on the road, I feel that my neighbors are talking about it behind my back. I have never dared to tell my son that I am afraid that he will be distracted at work. "
"Hey, creation, don't think too much. Life goes on. Go home and communicate with your wife more to see if things have changed. Don't tell your son yet. After all, this is most of your life. I understand you. Go home and deal with the backyard first. I think it is better for you to suspend the security work here. "
"Yes, my colleague Li Tou and I have explained that I asked him to cover for me for two days. I'll go back and deal with it. There's nothing I can do. I can do it with my conscience. "
Young couples are always together, and their marriage hides a crisis.
It is said that young couples are always together, and the words "cheating" and "cheating" seem to be more suitable for young people's emotions. I didn't expect that the emotional crisis of middle-aged and elderly people is not uncommon now, just because of their concerns and personal influence, they don't want to tell their children, so we see few real cases, but not many does not mean that there is no such hidden emotional crisis. These hidden emotional crises of middle-aged and elderly people have always existed, but they are hidden deeply.
Being able to survive most of my life does not mean that I have survived the so-called seven-year itch. Marriage is as foolproof as a safety lock. That was not the case. Many marriages are zombie marriages. Strange strange bedfellows, seemingly two couples, lasted for decades, but actually existed in name only, and there was not much emotional foundation between them. It's purely a boarding pass. It will pass. This kind of marriage is actually undercurrent, hiding an unknown crisis. This zombie marriage is easy to disintegrate and will not compromise with each other because of age. If this zombie marriage can last forever, the reason may be that one party is not tempted, or the temptation from the outside is not big enough!
The marriage of the elderly is not immutable, and we should also pay attention to each other's psychological activities and emotional needs.
Many middle-aged and elderly couples think that they have spent most of their lives together, getting to know each other and becoming each other. Therefore, it is easy to ignore each other's psychological activities and emotional needs, and think that being very much in love belongs to the category of young people's love. Aren't middle-aged and elderly couples just trying to live a stable life? Actually, this is not what many people think.
Especially women, 20-year-old women need emotional nourishment, and 50-year-old women also need emotional nourishment. Women's desire for emotion will only increase with age, not decrease. It's not that they don't need it, but with the increase of experience and the accumulation of years, they have learned to be more introverted and become less expressive.
Then, as a husband, marriage is a lifelong career, and it is also a job of living, studying and managing until the old age. Nothing is the same. Among middle-aged and elderly people, we still need to pay attention to the psychological and emotional state of our wives and care about them. In front of outsiders, she may be a strong aunt, but in front of her husband, she will always be the woman who needs her husband's care.
Loyalty is an obligation between husband and wife. You may not love it, but you should not betray it.
In fact, compared with the feelings of young people, young people don't love each other, so they can speak out loudly and even choose to let go. Letting go will free each other, but for middle-aged and elderly marriages, there is a lack of basic communication, or the marriage is calm and there is no problem. If something goes wrong, expect the unexpected. It is hard to imagine that the feelings of such a model loving couple are so fragile and suddenly collapse.
In fact, for breaking up, at least one person unilaterally thinks that young people should be more advanced and in place. If the current emotional state is not what you want, then you must have the courage to make a decision, and say no to dissatisfaction, not make do with it. After all, in the process of making do, you are legally married. If there is another love in the emotional center, it is a betrayal of feelings, and you simply ignore it. Even if you pour out a lot of bitter water, public opinion and morality will not.
During marriage, loyalty is still an obligation that the other party must fulfill. You can choose to let go and pursue your own happiness, but don't ride a horse again. Even in a marriage without any feelings, long-term interaction has formed the marriage inertia. At least in form, the two sides are still husband and wife. The appearance of betrayal will still have an impact on the other party, which will be unacceptable to the other party and may lead to a more serious marriage crisis. Therefore, for a zombie marriage without feelings, the choice is wise and decisive courage.