But there are some people who believe that freedom is just another concept of loneliness. The most criticized of these are "non-marriage" and "dinks". They believe that these choices, which go against "common sense", are nothing more than youthful indiscretions, and are destined to be regretted in the later years of their lives.
Is this really the case? I interviewed three unmarried 70-year-olds and realized that the answer is not what we think!
Interviewee 1: Mr. Zhu, "I'm very happy because I've always been optimistic in mind, and I continue to find the beauty of the world"
I didn't think so before, but since the age of fifty, I've often seen many of my peers, who used most of their life savings to buy houses for their children, and who continue to work for their families when they retire. Rarely have they lived for themselves.
They have lived their lives in a hurry, seemingly experiencing a lot, but also as if they have experienced nothing.
I am not pointing a finger at other people's lives, I just find it strange why I would come to doubt other people's lives when my own life is not going well.
I remember when I was young and I made the decision not to get married, most people were waiting for me to regret it. But they didn't wait for that day, because my life, although I didn't get married, has followed the trajectory that I wanted, which is both uneventful and colorful.
I have traveled to countless countries, experienced many different customs and met all kinds of people. I've taught myself several languages, some of which I can communicate with the locals without difficulty, and some of which I may only be able to ask for directions. At one time I even had a cat, but unfortunately it went before me. My life now consists of watching TV, playing chess, and living without any worries, but the world, in fact, is my biggest worry.
I am happy because I love this world.
Interviewee 2: Mr. Huang, "Marriage can change the trajectory of your life, but can not change your attitude to life"
Talking about marriage, it seems to have been a very distant thing.
When I was young, my family was well off, and in that social environment, I even went abroad. After returning to China, I devoted myself to my career, and at that time, "Struggle for the Rise of China" was not just a slogan.
In fact, it is not intentionally "not married", but the nature of my work, so that I often do not even have the time to eat, more likely to have the heart to put on such things as marriage.
Relatives and friends have introduced a few good girls, but may be the other side can not see me, may be too intoxicated by my career, have no time to worry about the other, in any case, these only budding romance, and finally have no end.
When I was in my thirties, there were always people around me urging me to get married, but when I was in my forties and fifties, there were fewer voices.
Now that I'm retired, I'm living a life where I can lie in a rocking chair and bask in the sun. I don't know how I can say that I'm miserable when I have no one to bother me and nothing to worry about, but I'm happy with the tranquility of my life.
Many people in this life, do not know why in the end they live, but I have never doubted the meaning of life. Whether it is before or now, every day I live a full and longing, I found the value of life, have their own reason for existence, and why use marriage to prove anything?
In the end, marriage is just a choice. It can change the trajectory of your life, but it can't change your attitude towards life. Happiness or misery is your mood, not your experience.
Interviewee 3: Ms. Bai, "The present life is the happiness I want, and I am free to be alone."
Life is very fast, like a white horse passing through a gap, and it's just a few decades in a blink of an eye. In fact, in my life, I have learned the truth that marriage is not the decisive factor for happiness.
In other words, if a person knows how to run his life, he can live a happy and peaceful life even if he is alone all the time; and if a person doesn't know the true meaning of life, it's hard to be happy even if he is married.
When I was almost twenty years old, my parents died because of a car accident. After that, I was always alone. Later, I also got used to being alone. When two people are together, they need to get along, and they need to understand and tolerate each other. I can do everything I want to do, and I can be strong and positive about the world, so why do I have to be accompanied by someone to be considered complete?
In fact, no one stipulates how your life is going to go, you just need to choose the way of life that is the easiest and most comfortable for you.
I have lived a free and easy life. I can do whatever I want to do, and I can take a trip wherever I want to go.
The happiness of "non-marriage" comes from oneself, while its unhappiness comes from the world. Many people will label us as "abnormal", and there will always be people who don't know us very well who will point their fingers at you. I used to be so eager to prove it, but now I feel that happiness is my own, so why live in other people's eyes?
My life now is to catch up with dramas as young people do, and occasionally go out to play tai chi and square dance to keep my body healthy. I don't deny the happiness of the old people around me of the same age with grandchildren or great-grandchildren, but I feel that my life now is also very happy, and it is the happiness I want.
In fact, the truth of happiness is the same whether you are married or not:
"Try to uphold the greatest sincerity and appreciation for life, not to feel sorry for yourself or complain about others; try to cherish time and spend it seriously, try to listen carefully to your body and mind and take care of it; and try to accept and gradually digest all the hardships and injuries as calmly as possible. calmly accept and gradually digest and eventually forget; try to give kindness and respect to everyone you meet, and try to return and be grateful for the warmth and help you receive."
So, people who don't get married can also live a happy life, just like these three interviewed 70-year-old singles, who may not necessarily end up worse off than those who get married, and will even be happier and more regretless. Because not being married is a choice, not a tragedy.
The true meaning of happiness lies in your filled heart, not in the marriage itself. Just like some people may not be able to live a happy life even if they are married, but some people can still live the way they want to even if they don't get married in their life.