Answer: a pig. Because of the chocolate cake.
Adults diapered and beat a man.
Answer: baoqingtian (Lord Bao)
Which two of the numbers 1 to 10 are the shiniest?
Answer: 1, 3. because of the flash of light
1. a buck, it walks, walks faster and faster, and finally it becomes a highway (deer) !!!!
2. Two tomatoes crossing the road, a car sped by, one of them dodged and was flattened, the other tomato pointed to the flattened tomato laughed: dig hahahaha, tomato sauce...
3. The big bad wolf said, "I'm going to eat you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Guess what?
The big bad wolf ended up eating the lamb.
4. The stone and the rice cake fought, the stone flew up and kicked the rice cake into the sea ............
Once upon a time, there was a pair of lovers who made a private promise of marriage, but the boy needed to serve in the army, so he made a vow with the girl and gave her a diamond ring, and promised to give her a diamond ring in the future, and promised to give her a diamond ring in the future. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on a diamond ring and promise that you will meet the girl three years from today, and then that ring will be your wedding ring. After three years, the girl has been waiting for the boy, but has not been able to wait, she was too sad, desperate, she threw the diamond ring into the sea, far away from home. However, the boy in fact has been waiting for the girl, but the girl misunderstood the date place, so it will forever become regret. The boy was heartbroken... After a few years, the boy went fishing, and guess what he caught?
Rice cakes!!!!
5. Are dumplings for boys or girls
Answer Boys because dumplings have a wrapper
6. There was a duck named Little Yellow, and one day he was hit by a car, and he cried out, "Quack!" And he's been a little cucumber ever since!!!!
7. Matchstick suddenly felt an itch on his head, so he reached out to scratch it, and as he did so, he burned himself to death...
8. Once upon a time, once upon a time, there was a bird
who passed by a field of corn every day
but unfortunately
one day there was a fire in that field
and all the corn all turned into popcorn
After the bird flew past ......
Thinking it was snowing, it got cold...
9. When will Taiwan want to unify?
Buying instant noodles
10. Ah Song and Ah Pak were chatting with each other over nothing and said that the years are not forgiving.
Ah Song: "When I remember my childhood, the happiest time I had was Children's Day."
Apai: "After ten years, it's Youth Day."
Azon: "After ten more years it's Father's Day."
Arbor: "In a couple decades it will be Old Man's Day."
Ah Song: "Another couple more decades ."
Apai: "Qingming Festival."
11. Soldiers: "Thirsty ...... Thirsty ......"
Cao Cao: "Everyone, hold on a little longer! I've been to this place before, and I remember there's a plum forest nearby, so if we walk a little further, we might be there"
Soldiers: "Oh ￣￣￣￣ there's plums to eat ￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣"
Half an hour later -Cao Ren: "My Lord! The expedition has found a large amount of water!"
Cao Cao: "Hahahahaha, did you hear that? Finally have water to drink"
The soldiers: "Do not go ...... must find the plum ...... "12. A girl fell out of love, I advised her: "two-legged toad is not good to find, three-legged men have plenty of ah!"
13. One day Xiao Qiang asked his father: "Dad, am I a stupid child?" Dad said, "Silly boy, how can you be a silly boy?"
14. A rare steak and a medium rare steak met on the street, why didn't they say hello? (Assuming they could talk.)
Because ....................
Because ........................
Because they're not familiar with each other! ~~~~~~
15. Q: How do you quiet a sparrow?
Answer: press it a little.
Reason: crows are silent (press the sparrow).
16. A college student was unfortunately captured by the enemy, who tied him to a pole and then asked him, "Say, where are you from? If you don't tell me, I'll electrocute you!!!" This college student said something back to the enemy and ended up being electrocuted ......
He said, "I'm from the University of Electricity!"
17. A: "I'll take you to a place where all the girls don't wear bras."
B: "Really? Where? Take me there!"
A: "It's right next door to the kindergarten!"
18. Wang Xiaoya, the host of the Happy Dictionary program, interviewed a viewer of the program and asked, "Which female host do you admire most in your mind?" The audience said: "It's you." Wang Xiaoya asked, "Why do you say that?" The audience said, "Because you look a bit like Yang Lan!"
19. Do you know what color Spiderman is?
Red, wrong!
It's white.
If you don't believe me, read Spiderman's English: spider man (是白的人)
20.Why did Ming fall down?
Please think twice ........................... .....
Because the floor is slippery
21.A group of animals rushed into a 7-11 convenience store to buy something after a party, and because it was too noisy, they were all beaten out by the clerk, but the sheep was left alone in the store.
Convenience stores do not close 24 hours ah .........
22. Glasses and coffee cups together across the street, suddenly someone shouted: the car is coming!
The glass was hit by the car, but the coffee cup was fine.
The coffee cup has ears!
23. A horse said, "My company is proud to introduce a new product, Horse Fart No. 3, or MP3 for short...
24. I hate two kinds of people:
One is racist;
The second one is black;
The third one is not able to read and write!
25. I would like to thank Ozawa Yuan, Asahi Ran, Nagase Ai, Mitsutake Ryoko, Takagi Maria, Kawamoto Mai, Sadagi Hitomi, Natsuki Miyuki, Serizushi Naomi, Shiraishi, Kudo Aoi, Koyamauchi Mayu, Kishikawa Miho, Nishida Tomoki, Sawai Aya, Fujisaki Aihana, Yezan Mizuki-chan, Inoue Chihiro, Matsumura, Yuki, and Izumi Shizuka for their work and for all the other people that I know and don't know, who have been in my computer and now have been lost. I know the names of these exotic friends who used to be in my computer and whose names have now been deleted or are still in my computer: they were the ones who accompanied me through lonely nights; they comforted me when I was in the worst of my spirit; they made me feel the pleasure of smoothness when I was exhausted from playing CS; they made me feel high when I was in a state of depression and didn't have a feeling for the game.
26. Now the accuracy of earthquake prediction has really improved a lot, this time there are only two words short of the prediction in the "Heilongjiang", but the result is in the "Jiujiang"!
27. Zhang Liangying said: "The fans who worship me say - the idol is called Ying"
He Jie said: "The fans who worship me say - the idol is called Jie"
He Jie said: "The fans who worship me say - the idol is called Jie. -Idol's idol is called Jie"
Zhou Penchang said: "Fans who worship me say -Idol's idol is called Chang"
Li Yuchun said: "You guys chat, I'm leaving first!"
28. Five Fuwa got together to chat.
Beibei suggested: Let's give ourselves a nickname, I'll be called "Beiwa"!
Jingjing: I'll be called Jingwa!
Huanhuan: I'll call her "Huanwa"!
NiNi: I'll be called "NiWa"!
YingYing stood up and said: you guys talk, I have something to do, I'm leaving first ......
That is to say, in the year 2058, the five FuWa got together again to chat.
Beibei: Let's talk about our nicknames, people respect me and call me "Master Bei"!
Huanhuan: People call me "Master Huan"!
Nini: People call me "Master Nini"!
YingYing: People call me "Master YingYing"!
JingJing stood up and said: "You guys talk, I have something to do, I'm going to go first. ......
29. Winter is here, I decided to keep the habit of taking a cold shower, but as I washed, I realized that I had returned to my childhood!
30. Celery walking, suddenly felt a pain in the stomach, and then he "blah" sound, you say he pulled out what ~~? That is the celery dung (diligence)! What color is celery dung?
Answer:yellow
Because : Qin Shi Huang (celery shit yellow)
31.There is a fat man ....
Jumped from the top of the 20th floor ....
The result was .....
Dead fat guy!!!!
32. Once upon a time there was a loaf of bread, and when it felt hungry, it ate itself.
Once upon a time there was a glass of beer, and when it felt thirsty, it drank itself....
Once upon a time there was a virgin, she felt tired and put herself to sleep ....
33.Who is the ancestor of man
It's a peanut because Peanut kernel~~~
34.Which of the ancient characters is considered white collar?
Mengmu Sanqian (Thousand)
35.Zhang Fei: "Old thief stop!"
Yan Yan: "Ring-eyed thief! Dismount and suffer death!"
Police car: "Listen two thieves~~~You have been surrounded~~~put down your weapons ......"
36.How did the ants die after falling from the Himalayan mountain?
Answer: starved to death. It takes a long time to float down because it's so light~...
37.The World's Most KB Diary
The old bear was about to write his diary when he realized that he had run out of journals, and he wanted to go out and buy another one to come back and write in, but it was already twelve o'clock at night. But he got on his bicycle and looked for it in the dark streets, and after a long time he finally found a bookstore that was still open and went in. There was a diary he liked very much, so he asked the owner how much it cost.
The owner said in a very low voice, "It's imported and priced at 70 yuan ......"
The old bear said, "That's expensive, but I only have 50 yuan to bring out. "
The boss said, "It's okay, I'll give you 50 yuan."
The old bear said happily, "Thank you, boss."
The boss said again in a very low and eerie voice, "When you buy it back, don't turn the last page, or something very KB will happen, don't blame me for not reminding you then!"
The old bear said, "Well, I know."
Old Bear got his diary home, he took the wrapping off and put it on the table in front of the window in his room. At this time he wanted to take a shower before coming out to write the diary ......
After the shower, the old bear found that the window in front of the desk was opened, and the wind blew the diary page by page open ...... almost to the last page, the old bear went up to stop, but it was already It was too late, the last page was still blown open by the wind
KB something happened ...... only to see the old bear screamed, because he saw the last page wrote:
(Please scroll down)
.
................. Pull again...
.
.
.
.
Keep pulling ....
.
.
.
. Almost there, pull a little more...
.
.
.
.
.
That's it, a little bit of pull at the end...
.
.
.
.
The last page says - Pricing: $3
38. A peach was walking along the road and suddenly said!
A walnut was walking on the road, walking and suddenly said, my face is so thick!
A Coke can walks along the road, feels bored while walking, and suddenly says, "I'm so Coke!
A warmer walks along the road, helping passers-by in passing, and suddenly says as he walks along, I'm so warm!
A key walks on the road, walks and suddenly says, I am Qu Yuan ah! I will go up and down and seek locks ah!
A meter walks along the road and suddenly says, "I am a man of letters! I'm a man of letters," he said!
A tadpole walking on the road, walking met another tadpole, walking suddenly said, we are not QQ ah!
A hawthorn married walking on the road, walking suddenly said, my face is so red ah!
A hawthorn divorced walking on the road, walking suddenly said, my heart is so sour ah!
A hawthorn remarried walking on the road, walking and suddenly said, I have a son in my stomach ah!
A tea bag walking on the road, walking suddenly said, I want to be soaked ah!
A dumpling stuffing walks along the road and suddenly says, "I want to be wrapped up so badly!
A lighter was walking along the road and suddenly said, "My stomach is full of gas, I want to be angry!
A cockroach was walking along the road and suddenly said, "I'm strong"!
A thimble walks along the road and suddenly says, "I'm a thimble"!
An ice-cream walks down the road and suddenly says, "I'm cold"!
A spider walks down the road and suddenly says, "I still want to get down on the web"!
A fish walks along the road and suddenly says, "I like to dive every day"!
A Guan Yu walking on the road, walking suddenly said, I walk a thousand miles a single rider ah!
An eagle walking on the road, walking met the bear, walking suddenly said, we play eagle bear ah!
A compass walking on the road, walking suddenly said, how can I not find the north ah?
A worm was walking along the road and suddenly said, "Why can't I find my legs?
39. Once upon a time, there was a Simmons in the closed eyes, suddenly feel as if something is missing,
Thinking of hearing the doorbell ringing, open the door to see that it was the electric blanket has just returned from the appointment,
Simmons embraced the electric blanket and said:
Brother ~ ~ ~ you can come back, I am cold ~ ~ ~ ~
40. A German, a Frenchman, and a Japanese are going to work in a mine.
The boss, an American, said to the German, "You're in good shape, you're in charge of the hard labor."
To the Frenchman, he said, "You say you're an engineer, and you're in charge of the plans for the mine."
And to the Japanese he said, "You are small. You are in charge of supplies."
Then every other week they started work.
A few days later the Germans and the French realized that the Japanese had disappeared, and after searching for them for a long time they decided to go back to work.
As the Germans began to work, the Japanese suddenly jumped out and
shouted:
"Surprise!"
41. There was a polar bear and a penguin playing together, and the penguin pulled the hairs off his body one by one, and when he was done, he told the polar bear, "It's so cold! "
The polar bear heard this, and also pulled the hairs off his body one by one, and turned to the penguin and said, "It sure is cold!"
42.There is a hide-and-seek society, their head of the group is still not found .........
43.Xiaohong asked: you stir the coffee with the right hand or the left hand
Small beauty said: the right hand
Small red said: oh, you're good oh, all You're not afraid of scalding, like me, I use a spoon.
44. Do you know why penguins live in Antarctica?
Because it's colder there .....
45. There was a snack store selling dumplings that had no business,
so she went to ask the master what to do,
and the master said: you have to find a fresh corpse and wrap the meat into dumplings,
and then sell it so that business will be good, but tell the people in their family not to eat these dumplings, or else there will be a very kb thing. happen.
The owner tried it and it worked really well,
so she went back to the body.
The next day, her son asked for a lunchbox,
but he couldn't find it, so he went to the refrigerator to look for it.
He found a lunchbox and took it with him, thinking it was his.
Unexpectedly, the box was filled with his father's leftover gyoza, and he lifted it up at noon and looked at it.
The gyoza were 10 in the morning.
He tried putting the lid back on and lifting it back up, and it turned into two!
Do you know why?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Because the dumplings stick to the lid.
46. A lumberjack applies for a job
Foreman:Try the woods in front of you...see how many trees you can saw a minute .....
After a minute ....
Foreman:Wow .... 20 trees a minute .... That's awesome ..... Where did you work before?
Worker:Sahara Forest......
Foreman:I've never heard ofㄝ......I've only heard of the Sahara Desert......... ........
Worker:Yes..... The name was changed!
47. Wife:I was so blind that I stepped on a piece of shit to marry you.
Husband:I was really blind and stepped on shit to marry you.
Shit: I'm so unlucky! Lying there are you two to step on ......
48.Tell a story, once upon a time there is a pair of lovers private life, but the boy needs to serve in the army, so he and the girl made a vow, gave the girl a diamond ring, and promised to meet the girl three years later today, then, that ring as a wedding ring.
Well 3 years passed, the boys on the boat back to their hometown but heard the news of the woman's marriage, he was too sad, desperate to throw the diamond ring into the sea, three days later, the ship docked. Boys go to the street restaurant to eat. A fish is served. He picks up the fish and bites into it, bites into a hard thing, spits it out and looks at it, guess what he sees
Fish bones !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
49. One day, the teacher took a group of children to the mountains to pick fruit,
He announced: "Children, after picking the fruit, we united together to wash, wash can be eaten together."
All the children ran off to pick fruit.
When it was time to gather, all the children gathered.
The teacher: "Xiaohua, what did you pick?"
Small Hua:
"I'm washing apples because I picked apples."
Teacher:
"What about you, Xiaomei?"
Siu Mei: "I'm washing tomatoes because I picked them."
Teacher: "The children are great! What about you, Ah Ming?"
Ming: "I'm washing my shoes because I stepped in poop."
50.Why do puppies get smaller and smaller?
A: Because it gets farther and farther away.
51.Once upon a time, there was a horse! It ran and fell into the sea.
So it became a "sea horse"!
The horse's other horse friend, who was trying to find the horse that fell into the sea, ended up falling into the river. Then he became a hippopotamus.
The third horse was a white horse. The third horse was a white horse that came to the city in a traffic jam to find his two missing friends.
It was run over by several cars in a row, causing several black stripes to appear on its body.
As a result, it becomes a zebra!
The fourth horse, in search of his three companions, came to a factory one day and was transformed into an "iron horse".
But then, those horses are still hard to escape the fate of being eaten, all were made into a "Shaki horse", ravaging the reach of all the horses were not spared, into a world without horses ......
Then, a group of people saw this joke after Couldn't help but say, "Horse's ~ that's cold."
Finally, in honor of the joke, someone made a lesson out of it, and we called it the "Horse Race Lesson"!
52. One day, Mung Bean broke up with his girlfriend...
This is the first time he's done this.
He cried and cried and cried ．．．．
They were very sad and cried all the time...
They were very sad and cried all the time....
The result....
He...he...he...he...he...he...he...he...
Shooting...
Buds...
Sprouted...
53. One day, a black turd saw a white turd,
and the black turd asked, "Why are you so white and beautiful?
The white poop was very angry!
He said, I'm not a poop! I'm ice cream!!!!
54.A cat found a mouse ....
So he rushed at the mouse like a hungry tiger to eat it
But then the cat was eaten by the mouse .....
Why
Because
The tiger, the mouse, and the cat couldn't tell the difference
55. A software company was hiring
On this day, a dog came to apply for a job, and the supervisor was so depressed that he wanted to kick the dog out. The dog took out a piece of paper and a pen, and neatly wrote a few words: please don't discriminate against animals.
The supervisor knew this was no ordinary dog, and out of curiosity he decided to give it a try.
The chief executive took out the terms and conditions of the job application, which read: 1. must be able to type. 2. must be able to program. 3. proficient in at least one foreign language.
So the dog came to the computer and skillfully typed an article and wrote a very complicated program. Then came to the front of the supervisor and said to him, Meow!
56. Toothpaste girl is always on the go
One minute she's dating her soft-bristled toothbrush brother
One minute she's in love with her electric toothbrush brother
Today there's a new neighbor
Toothpaste girl: "Wow, you're so tall and stylish~What's your name~Let's go out on a date"
The new neighbor said coolly, "No way!
57. One day the animals smelled a very bad odor in front of the temple of Guan Gong.
The snake said, "I'm too small to fart that bad, it must be a cow."
The cow said, "I'm a grass eater I wouldn't fart so bad."
The pig said, "Whoever farted must have blushed."
Suddenly Guan Gong rushed out and knocked the pig off its feet and said, "How many times have I told you, I was born blushing."
58. He, originally, is not a Romantic person,
Since he knew that she likes roses and there is a place where you can self-service cut flowers,
Buy cheap and beautiful self-service roses,
Occasionally, he will also intentionally go to buy eleven roses to give her,
Received his flowers, she was happy to see that she is always
One day, she read in a book that the number of flowers represents the language of flowers and realized that
Sending flowers doesn't have to be in pairs,
And the language of eleven roses is really touching!
But she still wanted to hear it from him,
and when she asked what eleven roses meant,
he couldn't come up with anything.
He quickly went to the flower grower to ask him the language of the eleven roses,
The flower grower said, "I've been planting flowers for thirty years, I've never heard of any flower language!
Instead, he often hears the men who come to buy flowers say something flowery to the women.
Then why do you sell eleven roses in every handful?
He asked, and the farmer said:
Because .........
Buy ten, get one free~
59. One day Jesus had nothing to do, so he went to the entrance of heaven to hang out ~ walking, walking,
Saw an old man in the line very familiar,
Saw an old man in the line very familiar,
Saw an old man in the line very familiar,
Saw an old man in the line very familiar.
Seeing an old man in line who looked very familiar, like his father Joseph,
but he wasn't sure,
so Jesus decided to go over and talk to him.
"Hello, old man, what's your name, please?"
The old gentleman said, "My name is Joseph."
Jesus thought, "Huh? My father's name was Joseph, too."
But he wasn't sure, so Jesus asked, "So, old man, what did you do in life?"
"I was a carpenter." The old gentleman replied.
Jesus was taken aback and thought to himself, "What a coincidence, my father was a carpenter.
Jesus went on to ask, "Excuse me old man, has your son been nailed in the hands and feet?"
The old gentleman looked at him in amazement and said, "How do you know"
Jesus by this time was in tears ~~ he fell on his knees and cried and said ~~ "Oh, Father ~~ for I am your son!"
The old man also began to weep and looked at Jesus and said:
.
.
.
"So it's you...little puppet ~ ~ ~ ~"
60.Xiaoming owes 200,000 to the underground money changer,
Xiaoming begged him to let him have a few more days,
Money changer's man said: "You must pay back tomorrow, or else ......, chop off 2 fingers; the day after tomorrow then ...... in chopping off 4; the 3rd day then ......"
Small Ming: "Is it not necessary to pay back"
Money changer man: "NO, by then you will become Tinkerbell."