: The thickness of the underlying determines the height of your life
Chance to see an enlightening words: a vocabulary of only 100 people, it is difficult to understand the vocabulary to reach 1,000 people is how to think about the world. These two types of people live in two completely different worlds, because the level of understanding of the world depends on their language skills. If a person does not know the meaning of the words "love", "overflowing" and "world", he will never understand what a "world overflowing with love" means. Even if he is in such a world, he will never understand what a "world overflowing with love" is.
This passage is like a cloudburst; the words are just manifestations, and we can understand them by example. Where does the gap come from? You don't feel the same way doing 10 push-ups a day as someone else does 100 a day, and you don't get the same out of reading a book a month as someone else does reading a book a week.
Ability comes from constant persistence in one direction. There are many things that are completely incomprehensible until we have achieved a certain level. One day you suddenly get ****ed up and start working on it hopefully, the goal is there, the external drivers are there, but after a while you realize you still can't execute effectively enough to stick with it.
I struggled with this process for a long time and finally came to some realization.
Don't strive for the perfect plan. A man who is starving to death sees a field of corn, and if he thinks about finding the biggest corn he can find, he may end up starving to death before he finds it. If, on the other hand, he looks for only one corn that will satisfy his hunger, the result, though not the most perfect, will be satisfactory.
When making plans, we always plan our lives to be extremely perfect, to get up at 6:00 a.m. every day, to run for an hour every day, to read for an hour every day....... If there are too many plans, once there is something outside the plan, your plan will be disrupted, and the tension of scarcity of time will make you beat yourself up. It is a human habit that when too many demands are made, and one of them cannot be done, the whole thing may be abandoned.
We don't want to be greedy, start with the most important first, for example, start early to go to bed first this project, after insisting for a month or two, when you can realize it very well, slowly add the project of getting up early, this is a process of grasping the key points, step by step.
As for procrastination, it's because our brains like to do simple things and are not willing to step out of their comfort zones, and compared to reading a book, of course it's simpler and more fun to brush your friends' circles. Our emotional brain is so much more powerful than our rational brain, we all know that sticking to it will work, but our hearts are more inclined to get timely gratification, and believe me, all of us are like that, don't bother beating yourself up.
Since the brain likes to do simple things, we can make the task simpler by splitting up our own special projects or goals. Take fitness, stick to 10 push-ups a day, don't force yourself, think of it as a challenge. Incorporate it into your daily life, step out of your comfort zone a little bit every day, you may not see much change in the short term, but what about when you stick with it for a month, a year, five years later? With another person who doesn't have these good habits has opened the gap, the world you see is already a completely different world.
A clear goal, let us around a point to accumulate, some good habits, so that this accumulation in the life of the subtle growth, it seems, you are doing the same thing every day, but in fact, you are every day in the accumulation of power for your future.
Those who seem effortless may just be working a little harder than you every day.
The years are like water, going and not returning. We treat everything in our life journey well, so that every day's life has meaning and flavor. The thickness of life is accumulated by these different flavors of experience. "Chest Tibetan ink virtual as valley, belly with poetry from the Hua", in every ordinary day, planting different wonderful, harvest colorful life.
: To be a person who can withstand loneliness
Author: Yisiyuan
To be a person who can withstand loneliness, no matter at the peak or trough of life, this sentence is the best advice.
Shi Ma Yi in the TV series "New Three Kingdoms" said it well: "I wielded the sword only once, while sharpening it took decades". Sima Yi followed the king to fight in the north and the south, and crossed the world, and his achievements were numerous. History records that he has assisted Cao Cao, Cao Pi, Cao Rui, three monarchs, although the position of a great man, the glory of the three generations, but the Cao family is very uneasy about him, and always have to be on guard. It turns out that the prophecy of "three horses in the same trough" was already prevalent in Cao Cao's time. Cao's use of him was only to rely on his talent to manage the military and government, and to use him to fight against the powerful external enemy Zhuge Liang and others, and did not really regard him as one of their own people.
The three Cao's knew he was untrustworthy but had to use him, so they were on guard against him. It is in this context, Sima Yi high power is not heavy, occasionally heavy power for a moment and then taken. If he were a normal person, he would have been quite bitter. However, this gentleman's heart is not comparable to ordinary people. He slow cooking with small fire skillful technique, silent patience, and keep his own counsel. When the country is in need of people, it is the peak of his life, and he is always brave enough to do the work of dogs and horses.
Once the great success, then take the initiative to resign, never covet power; whenever the suspicion, career is at a low point, he feigned illness as a common thing, living in deep simplicity, in the loneliness of the cultivation. Finally, after several decades of loneliness, he took advantage of Cao Shuang careless out of the city, from the loneliness of the outbreak, the first strike, won the world. Imagine if he had lost his patience in loneliness for decades, the Sima family might have been taken down earlier.
Being a man should be able to endure loneliness, and only by practicing hard in loneliness can we reach the set goal.
There are two swordsmen in Japan, one is Miyamoto Musashi and the other is Yanagi Matabe Shurou. Miyamoto was Yanagio's master. When Yanagio studied under Miyamoto, there was this conversation between master and disciple on how to become a first-class swordsman.
"Master, based on my qualifications, how long do I have to practice to become a first-class swordsman?" Miyamoto replied, "At least ten years!"
Yanagi said, "Ten years is too long, how long will it take for me to become a first-class swordsman if I double my practice?" Miyamoto replied, "That would take twenty years." With a skeptical look on his face, Ryuusei asked again, "What if I didn't sleep at night and practiced hard night after night?" Miyamoto replied, "Then you would surely die, and it would be impossible for you to become a first-class swordsman."
Yanagi was very surprised, "Why?"
"Well." Musashi said, "People like you who are in a hurry mostly want to be fast."
"Okay." Mataboshiro then realized he was being too hasty, "I agree alright."
After he began training, Musashi gave Mataboshiro the following requirements: as long as he cooked, washed dishes, made beds, cleaned the yard and tended to the garden. Not only was he not allowed to talk about swordsmanship, he wasn't even allowed to touch a sword.
Three years passed, and Mataboshiro continued to do the hard work, feeling a sense of sadness and uncertainty whenever he thought about his future.
One day, Musashi quietly slipped up behind him and dealt him a heavy blow with his wooden sword. The next day, while Mataboshiro was busy cooking, Musashi attacked him again by surprise. From then on, day and night, Mataboshiro had to be on guard against sudden attacks. After practicing twenty-four hours a day, hour after hour, he finally became the most skilled swordsman in all of Japan.
"After ten years of study, no one asked him, but once he became famous, the whole world knew him". Mataboshiro finally exploded from enduring loneliness to achieve success.
To be a man who endures loneliness is a condensation of countless successes in ancient and modern times.
Nobel repeatedly came back from the dead, sleep and food for several years, before the development of successful TNT ****. Edison failed countless times before he finally invented the electric light bulb. Darwin, a British biologist, studied the theory of evolution and spent 22 years before writing the book On the Origin of Species. The famous French physicist Madame Curie, after 12 years of experiments, not afraid of setbacks and failures, finally extracted a few grams of a key substance - the radioactive element radium - from dozens of tons of minerals.
Li Shizhen spent 31 years of hard work, read more than 800 kinds of books, wrote tens of millions of words of notes, traveled to seven provinces, collected thousands of single prescriptions, and finally wrote a brilliant masterpiece of Chinese medicine, the Compendium of Materia Medica.
Being a man is about enduring loneliness, and it is also about getting past temptation.
The world we live in is full of all kinds of temptations. In front of the temptation and desire, people are either slaves of desire, or masters of desire. Whether you are a slave or a master depends on whether you can stand the temptation when you are lonely.
In the ancient Greek legend, Sicily near the sea there is a Siren Island, long with the eagle wings of the Siren Siren sings a beautiful magic song day and night hook people's souls, luring the passing ships to shore. In ancient times, long years of sailing on the sea is mostly lonely, they often *** can not resist the temptation of the siren and died. Odysseus, the Trojan hero, instructed his companions to seal their ears with wax, lest they be seduced by the siren's song, while he himself left his ears unplugged and simply told his companions to tie themselves to the mast. He wanted to hear how beautiful the banshee's voice really was.
When the ship arrived at the island of Siren, Odysseus saw the sirens coming, and heard them singing like a warbler's song, and his heart burst into flame ***. He ran to them eagerly, and cried out to his companions to let him down. His companions saw his struggles, and knowing that he was suffering from temptation, they came forward and tied him more tightly. With that, they finally made it through to the island where the banshee lived.
Temptation is so much a part of the story, and it abounds in reality. Children will be tempted by candy, students will be tempted by games, officials will be tempted by beauty and money, dieters will be tempted by food, and every adult will be tempted by flowers, snow, food, honor, and status, and temptation is like the dust on the soles of the feet, with us as a shadow, and with each other. We can only resist the temptation like Odysseus, in order to come out from the loneliness and realize our own career.
Face up to loneliness, turn loneliness into a booster for upward mobility, cherish the lonely time, and be a person who can withstand loneliness.
: Insist on yourself, live your own
Do you love yourself? Accept yourself?
You can still be yourself. There's nothing wrong with being yourself if you think being yourself means not necessarily getting married and having children. You said you are looking for your true love, and true love is not necessarily the opposite of "marriage and children", right? So the ideal ending for you is to be yourself, find true love, get married and have children. I'm sure you'll be able to find a way to make it work for you.
There is no such thing as an incompatible part. You can continue to have your own values. You can also refer to, conform to, and extend mainstream values. The point is: do you love yourself? Do you accept yourself? Do you allow yourself to live differently than others? Can you deal with guilt about your mom?
A woman is not only complete when she gets married and has children
Like the dancer Yang Liping said, she came to this world to be a spectator of life; she came to see how a tree grows, how a river flows, how white clouds float, how manna condenses. She treats a flower or a tree as her own child. She believes that she is part of nature.
This kind of life may seem incomplete and flawed to the mothers, only, from my point of view, she is complete, she brings the beauty and creativity of artistic dance to the world, and she is the spirit and messenger of nature.
Everyone, who comes to the world with a different homework and mission, dares to become himself or herself, which indeed requires courage and determination. When one's inner strength is strong enough, he has the courage to be the minority that does not conform to the mainstream values. Bless you! Live yourself and bloom freely like a flower!
More and more difficult is actually recognizing your true self
In our current social environment, it's actually really not easy to be yourself, and it's even more difficult to hold on to your non-mainstream values. However, there is a more more difficult actually is to recognize the real self.
That is to say, we often think we know ourselves very well, and understand very clearly what we are insisting on and pursuing. But I have found that what we think we know is basically the surface consciousness, a product of our minds and perceptions, while our subconscious mind hides many of the truest yet hard-to-perceive realities.
If you have been searching for your true love now, and at the age of 31 you haven't been able to find it yet, you should probably ask yourself: the me that I am now, the me that I hold onto now, do I really know and really understand? If I have not yet created the life I want to live, what is limiting me within me?
I'm 42 years old and I don't have any children of my own yet, I don't represent traditional mainstream values but I still want my own children and I'm in the planning stages of getting ready to have them. But I've also been asking myself this question lately: if I want children so much, is it what I consciously want, or is it what I really want in my heart.
Have you truly found your own standing self-worth?
The truth is, one should stand up for oneself and insist on living the life one truly wants. But the point of emphasis here is whether you have truly recognized yourself, whether you have truly found your own standing self-worth.
If you're sure you've found yourself, then never mind what others say, just keep going your own way! If you're not sure, go ahead and find your true self before you do.
Respond to all the misrepresentations of your parents with true love
As for your mom, she is different from your friends around you, this closest family member, you need to communicate with her more often. In fact, our parents often express their love by worrying, interfering, and controlling, which is certainly not the right way to express love, but we need to learn to be wise and respond to all of our parents' misguided expressions of love with true love. Find time to talk to your mom, tell her what you think and what you insist on, and tell her how much you love and appreciate her.
To be truly yourself, you need to be truthful about how you feel physically and mentally
Being contrary to parental control and opposing certain vulgar mainstream values doesn't mean we are being ourselves. When our parents ask us to do A, and we want to do -A, we are still caught in the trap of reincarnation, and are still being controlled.
To truly be yourself, you need to be truthful about how you feel physically and mentally. To act, not to be driven by the thoughts of the mind, but in that moment, your whole body and mind just so naturally choose to be so, there is no right or wrong, good or bad, and there is no following or opposing anything, you just will act that way. When you are truly yourself, you also understand that others are making the only choices they can make at the moment, which may happen to be in line with you, or the opposite, and you are not in opposition to anyone.