Even though many of us are no longer students, we can still feel the tension of the "national preparation".
I have a different view on this.
Because after experiencing a series of dark moments in my life, I realized that the "college entrance exam" may just be the simplest exam in my life.
Before I share my story, I'd like to talk to you about the pitfalls of the "college entrance exam model".
What is the "high school model"?
To put it simply, the college entrance examination candidates actually have certain "privileges", but they are completely unaware of it, and after entering the society, they extend the habit of this "privilege" to their life and work, but they encountered unexpected setbacks and blows. The first time I've seen this, I've seen it in my life.
Luo Chun did a "Inspiration Club" on this issue.
It is because the people of the country are very important to the college entrance examination, if there are candidates in the neighborhood courtyard, the square dance may be a few days before the exams do not dare to play music in public; the road is traveling over a bus full of candidates, the traffic police may also be stopped down the road for the vehicles to open up a road; if you are not careful to over-sleep on the road to casually show the permit, there may also be a police officer uncle! The first thing you need to do is to get a good deal of money from the government.
This is one of the "privileges", and it may be the only time in your life that you will be treated well by the whole country.
Secondly, we participate in the college entrance examination, is in full view of the public, so whether it is the question, examination, marking, admission of each link, will ensure its fair and open nature, we may never meet this life so fair examination, this is the "privilege" of the second.
Once again, although the number of participants in the college entrance examination is large, and it looks as if the competition is very cruel and fierce, but in fact, you will find that other people work hard or not, and "I" itself does not have much to do with it. If someone else gets a high score, I can also get a high score, and the score line is very clear.
In other words, the instability on this track has been cleared very cleanly, and there is only one real variable, and that is the candidate himself.
Over the past decade of study, individual effort and diligence have been the only criteria for determining the final result. And, because there are so many people on this track, you will feel more powerful than ever, because so many candidates are struggling with you, you are not alone at all. This is the third of the "privileges".
However, after entering the society, you will realize that there is no such clean track, no more so-called "privilege", and no more company of thousands of horses.
On September 12, 2009, I was 25 years old, in order to realize the dream of the film, I embarked on the train to the north, with a dream, to Beijing.
At that time, I lived in an artist village called Songzhuang outside the Sixth Ring Road. I rented a broken hut in the countryside for 140 yuan a month. The weather was very cold in winter, there was no heating where I lived, and a small hole was exposed in the ceiling, from which melted snow would drip onto the ground.
When I got up in the morning, my shoes were frozen on the ground and I couldn't pick them up; my cup was frozen on the table and I couldn't pick it up.
The difficult environment did not quench my dream and full of blood, I worked hard and insisted, looking forward to one day like the "college entrance examination", as long as the efforts in place, will be able to harvest.
Soon after I left Songzhuang, I became a film and television worker. I worked as a scene manager, coordinator, assistant director, actor, and then became a professional screenwriter, writing boring scripts about grave robbers and detectives.
But the movie and TV industry was in the doldrums, and I didn't have a salary, so I just hoped that my scripts would be cast successfully and earn me a meager fee.
I struggled in a moldy rental house outside of the Bayi Film Studio, ate 8 yuan a bowl of hot noodles in front of the door every day, wrote scripts that no one read, gained weight, my eyes were y nearsighted, and suffered from a serious stomach disease, the body was overwhelmed by the weight of the I was struck down by depression.
By this point, my movie dream, before it even started, was over.
You see, in fact, to walk around the world, people will understand, "college entrance exams" is really just a simple test in life.
People will experience all kinds of tests in their lives. But not all questions have standard answers.
For example, if you want to fall in love with a girl and she rejects you, it's not just a matter of trying to fight for it, you don't have to like it.
For example, if you go to an interview with a powerful company and you compete with another person for the same position, your education is better than his high level of experience, but he is a relative of the company's president, so what can you do about it?
When I was drifting in Beijing, I received a message one night from a young man:
"I lost my job, and the company couldn't hold on, and was dissolved.
This is the first time I've ever seen a woman in the world who has been in a position to do that.
That day happened to be his 30th birthday.
My husband is a game industry practitioner, these years, he put all the energy and all the time, are invested in the game of this day in the industry, he is very hard and very hard work. However, under the big waves, most of the game companies can not escape the fate of closure. And my hair little, also still did not escape this cruel "examination".
Luo fat told a story that there is a salesman, in order to a big customer, and his competitors to play life struggle, make countless moves, under the countless efforts, but I'm sorry, finally failed.
Failure would not have mattered, but the man later learned that the reason for his failure was not related to the things he cared about, and he said no dialog, did not do a good job in favor of the relationship is not much.
It's because his big client, the one with the power to make decisions, has a child who needs to go to school, and his competitor is able to offer their child a place at a prestigious school.
It's as simple as that.
You see, once upon a time the college entrance exams told us that if you work hard you can get results and all your questions are answered, but the reality is not like that, and a lot of things don't turn out well even if you work hard.
See here, you may feel very frustrated, life is so painful, life is so difficult, then why do we have to work hard? Why do we still have to struggle?
Roman Roland once said, "There is only one kind of true heroism in the world, and that is to still love life after recognizing the truth of life."
Each of us is actually moving forward on our own hero's journey, every setback is experience, every blow is growth, because without suffering, we have no chance to become a better version of ourselves.
My difficult life in Beijing, and the experience of the hairy man made me realize y: if a person puts all the eggs into one basket, he will be broken, sooner or later.
If, like the preparation for the college entrance examination, all the time is devoted to one thing, it seems to be a full commitment, but the ability of human anti-fragility will become very weak, and it is easy to be crushed by the sudden blow, and can't be turned over.
The only way to break the ice is to look for a few more baskets, spread your eggs out, and let your time hedge your professional risks, thus increasing our ability to cope with "change".
For me, the easiest way to do this is to develop a side business in my spare time.
So while I'm writing scripts, I'm making time to read and learn, to grow and refine.
It was at this time that I came across self-publishing.
Here, I was able to realize my own ideas and complete my own control of the content. I was able to directly face the fans, face the users, and communicate with you directly, which gave me a deeper understanding of content creation.
Fortunately, due to my continuous content output, I was spotted by a writing boot camp, hired as a teacher, and became a writing coach. And at this time, my headline account, also because of an article called "lizard thinking", from more than 800 fans, all the way up, within a week rose 5000 powder. Then later, there were a few more explosive articles, such as "Systems Thinking", "Armor Thinking" and so on, which made my fans break the 10,000 mark.
By now, I have accumulated nearly 400,000 fans, completely switching tracks and opening a new life.
You see, there are problems that seem to be unsolvable, in fact, just because of the wrong direction; if you think from a different perspective, re-stocking capacity and resources, you can break the "high school mode" trap, and the same gain.
So, in the face of millions of candidates, as well as thousands of future strugglers, is there any way to help them prevent the "college entrance examination mode" trap in advance, and more relaxed to deal with the challenges of life?
Since we have learned that the future world will not be as stable and clean as the college entrance exams, we need to change our game strategy and try to train our children to cope with the changes. And while educating our children, we can grow.
How do we do it exactly? I have five suggestions for you:
1. Teach your children to learn to ask questions
Sometimes, finding the right answer is less important than asking the right question.
In order to develop the ability to think independently, we should let our children keep their curiosity, ask "why" about everything, and even question what their parents say, "Is it the right thing to do?"
By asking questions, we can quickly understand the environment and the scenarios we are dealing with, so that we can recognize and respond to the situation more quickly.
2. Increase your child's emotional flexibility
We need to tell our children that "it's perfectly normal to feel and think in two contradictory ways."
For example, in the face of parental nagging, the child can feel concerned about the solid, but also feel irritated; in the face of the same thing, there can be two different points of view.
And you should free yourself from past experiences, those inner voices that tell you that you shouldn't feel or think in a particular way. For example, you must be outgoing, not silent; you must strategize, not hesitate. Get rid of them all, you can choose any kind of flexible way to deal with the world.
3. Tell your children to keep learning
The college entrance exam is not the end of learning, on the contrary, it is just the beginning.
The knowledge of learning should not only be from books, but also from the teacher's words and behavior, and the reaction of the classmates' actions, which should be the object of observation and learning.
Any good or bad thing can be learned from experience, and the more you get from various experiences, the more capable and efficient you can become.
4. Develop your child's ****emotional competence
What is ****emotional competence? It's not a person falling into the abyss, we stand high up and yell "you hard", but climb to the depths and hold each other's hands and say: "I'm with you".
Being able to consider the problem from the perspective of others, thinking about solutions, you can effectively manage their own behavior, and harmony with others in exchange for more opportunities and resources
5, never arbitrarily label
Whether it's a person, or a certain event, once easily labeled, thinking is confined, the end has been set, and there is no longer a way to break the game.
Everything in this world is not black and white, a person may do something bad, but the heart in accordance with the correct values.
Analyzing a problem is the key to developing a child's ability to cope with change.