The book I recommend to you is a two-volume biography of Russell written by the British philosopher Ray Monk.
1. Russell's love story
Russell is a philosopher, studying philosophy of mathematics, but he finally got Nobel Prize in Literature. Why did he get the Nobel Prize in Literature? Mainly because of his works about love and marriage, the most famous one is Marriage and Morality. When this book was first conceived, Russell wanted to call it Sexual Freedom, and later when it was published in the United States, it was changed to Marriage Revolution. In short, this book is mixed and popular. 1940, this book caused a movement against Russell in new york, which made Russell lose his job in new york City College. Ten years later, this book won him the Nobel Prize in Literature.
To be fair, although Russell's view was regarded as heresy at that time, it has been accepted by many people now. Russell said that in the past, social concepts and religious beliefs thought that sex was evil, but this moral code was actually "an ancient taboo law put forward by uneducated people living in a completely different society from ours." What he means is that this is a doctrine advocated by the priests of the church a long time ago. Russell pointed out that this theory makes people have an inexplicable fear of sex, and this fear is unreasonable.
Russell believes that sexual relations should be "based on the deep and sincere love between men and women as much as possible, which blends into the overall personality of both parties and leads to the combination, so that each party can be enriched and expanded." Moreover, family is very important, and children should be taken care of both physically and psychologically. You see, isn't this actually the generally accepted concept of marriage and love?
If there is anything disturbing about Russell's theory, it may be his tolerant attitude towards "infidelity". In his view, both men and women have no right to dominate each other's personality and needs. Russell wrote: "Infidelity should not be regarded as a terrible thing", and "firmly believe that deep and lasting love has the power to transcend everything" is a much stronger bond than jealousy.
We just talked about Russell's main points about marriage and love. Next, I will tell you something about Russell's love life. He has been married four times in his life and had many girlfriends, but his love life is not happy.
Russell's first wife was Alice. He/kloc-fell in love at the age of 0/7, and Alice was five years older than him. Russell's grandmother resolutely opposed this relationship, but it inspired Russell's rebellious psychology. He will marry Alice when he reaches the age of 2 1 and has a disposable income every year. Russell's self-care ability is very poor. Alice helped him with his internal and external affairs, but Russell gradually felt that his married life was too dull and he didn't have the passion he wanted. Russell began to move on. He fell in love with the wife of his teacher and colleague Whitehead and had an affair with a married woman, Otelline.
Russell's second wife, Dorabi Russell, was much younger. They share the same interests. Dora and Russell gave birth to a boy and a girl. Seeing the birth of a child, Russell thought it was the happiest thing in the world. He even started a school with Dora to teach his children and friends' children according to his own ideas, but the attempt of this school ended in failure. Dora is very similar to Russell in her view of marriage and love. They think they are right, and they want to challenge the old and decadent mainstream social concepts. Dora also had a lover of her own and had a child with her lover, which greatly stimulated Russell.
After Russell divorced Dora, he got married again in 1936, and his third wife was named "Peter". She used to teach in a school run by Russell. "Peter" and Russell spent several years together in the United States. Later, she was emotionally unstable and tried to commit suicide several times. The two finally broke up.
Russell's fourth wife was Edith Finch. They have known each other for a long time, but they didn't get together until Edith was 55 and Russell was 84. Edith is very low-key and can be said to be obedient to Russell. This period may be the most peaceful and happiest time in Russell's life.
2. What happened to Russell?
Many people who haven't read Russell's philosophical works will also be deeply influenced by it. Russell made great contributions to the "marriage revolution" and the sexual liberation movement in the 20th century. However, the so-called "open marriage" advocated and practiced by Russell made his life a mess. The second volume of Munch's biography of Russell describes his life after the age of 50, which is simply unsightly to read.
So, if it comes back, what's wrong with Russell's view of love?
Russell attached great importance to the communication between equal and complete personalities. Russell holds what he calls a lofty view of love. He often said that love is a form of self-integration with another self, and this view appeared repeatedly in many of his books. In Russell's view, a happy marriage exists in mutual respect and deep feelings. When he talks about mutual respect, he means that he can't interfere with other people's freedom. In his view, with these, true love between men and women is "the most rewarding experience in life."
This is the problem. Russell cares too much about himself. He must keep himself before he associates with others. Love needs to forget yourself and love another person desperately. What should I do? In Russell's view, this is unthinkable. In other words, he is trapped in the boundaries of himself. Of course, he has been trying to expand his boundaries, but he obviously can't get out of his own boundaries.
To be fair, Russell is not a playboy. What he pursues is not sexual stimulation, but spiritual stimulation. For example, his love with Mrs. whitehead is purely platonic. Mrs whitehead is very clever. On the one hand, she acquiesced and even encouraged Russell to express her affection, on the other hand, she carefully prevented Russell from making excessive moves. When Russell chooses lovers, he pays special attention to their personalities and thoughts. According to Russell's lover, Russell is not a master in bed, but he is too smart, so he is very attractive. Oscar Wilde, a British writer, once said a very mean sentence. He said that everything can be related to sex, but sex has nothing to do with sex, and sex is only related to power. Obviously, many women like Russell because he is talented, famous and has his own aura.
People are not completely rational and are influenced by genes, environment and social factors. Take Russell as an example. His family has a history of mental illness, which always scares Russell. This fear increased his loneliness and affected his communication with ordinary people. Many people who are familiar with him can feel Russell's ruthlessness to his relatives. When he broke up with several ex-wives, he was extremely cruel. He used to love his eldest son John very much, but in the end he betrayed John. Russell was also influenced by environmental factors. He thought he could respect his spouse's choice, but when Dora and her lover gave birth to a child, Russell couldn't help himself and flew into a rage. He wants to declare in the newspaper that the child is illegitimate. Russell is more easily accepted by the public in Britain, but he is out of tune with American society.
Zero second thinking
1. Russell's love history, four marriages, bumpy and famous, but it is difficult for him to get love and have a stable family, which is embarrassing.
2. From Russell's life, he promoted the sexual liberation movement and had an affair with many women. A book about sex and marriage won him praise, but later he won the Nobel Prize in Literature.
3. Looking at Russell again, of course, he has made great achievements in mathematics philosophy and literature. His three passions in life are also the pursuit of most people, but few of them can be perfect. If you are a Confucian scholar, if you are a hermit, you are Zhuangzi, and China's philosophy will be more comfortable.