An offline event, many of my little sisters gave me materials, there was a big bag.
Back in the dormitory, my mom asked me what I was doing, I just casually sent her a few photos, and then...
She is now the most regrettable thing is to let me go to the city to read in high school, after all, when a robot began to have their own ideas, it is not good to control. For example: I, an object that had always been controlled poorly changed my volunteer to go to a university in a foreign province.
She now wants me to call her every day, reminding me all the time:
"Everything you have is from me, you have to repay me later"
"I'm saving money every day just for you, you have to be quick to give me money later. "
"I remind you again, your father every day in the wind and rain for you, you can not be a white-eyed wolf."
"I'm so tired of working every day, I do everything."
"You should feel lucky to be born in our family."
......
I grew up, never said a heavy word to her, much less said not to give old age or anything, I do not know what this is going to do
Listening to more than I am numb, the answer to the perfunctory do not want to cover up a little bit of the kind.
There is a front to see a young lady said very right, quarrel is only superficial, the core is the three different views.
A middle-aged woman, every day in her free time in addition to brush Jieyin is a thousand miles away to monitor what I am doing. Why do you have to live such an empty life, but also the so-called "all the hope of life" into the pressure on my head
My aunts participated in the square dance won awards and took pictures
My classmate's mother went to learn pediatric massage, because she found it very interesting; aunt heard that we are playing chicken, she is not good at playing, but wants to play with the children. She doesn't know how to play it very well, but wants to join us in four rows ......
You always say it's all about me, but in fact you are reluctant and not too brave to try new things
You always say that I don't share my heart with you, and I'm not as close to you as other mothers and daughters.
I'm sorry, but I'm already afraid, since six or seven years ago all I like or want to say out all I get is a negative.
In middle school you never let me go out on weekends to play, study, study study study. I covered my mouth to keep from crying while I turned down my friends' invitations over and over again on the phone. On Mondays, they discuss the fun things that happened on weekends, and I can only say nothing because I have no idea what they played. After a while, they all got used to it and no one asked me to play anymore.
At one point in my years I thought I was awful, that I couldn't do anything right. That's what you told me too. No one would probably like me, and I really had low self-esteem to the bone.
I've heard you describe me to others as, "apathetic and bereft every day, never too happy or too sad."
I'm a human being too, I have my emotions. It's just that the big joy is never in front of you, and the big sadness is never shown to you just right.
When I got to high school, I was far away from you, and I started to taste freedom. I could decide and handle things on my own.
I could be invited to go out with my friends when I was part way through my homework and come back and continue with my homework.
I can sleep in on weekends after a busy week.
I can make time to draw or write something messy instead of sneaking around like a thief.
I made a lot of good friends. I've had classmates tell me "You're great!" "I like you so much hehehe." , and a teacher told me "You're great."
I seem to have become a little more confident and cheerful.
But you still don't seem to like me, even though I'm the best student in the eyes of all the teachers.
When I came home, when I reminded you to turn off the faucet first and save water, "Ouch! Really become a big city people, water can be expensive ah, our small county can not afford to compare!" You said as such.
The senior year, you have been forcing me. I didn't want to live for a while, every day was a mess, that monthly exam really wasn't very good. You came all the way to the city to settle the score with me, I was expressionless, you scolded me for being cold and selfish, I was still expressionless.
You said: "Is not every day in the dormitory to play games? You've got a cell phone, and you've got a cell phone. Every day just with those fox dog friends mixed life! Oooh! No wonder you know people from other classes, you just hang out every day! I'm paying for you to be a jerk."
I've heard so many malicious speculations since I was a kid that I don't want to refute them, so I'll say what I want.
Anyway, if I refute it, it's "You still talk back to me?"; if I don't, it's "You still talk back to me?". If you don't refute it, it's "default", it's "you never tell me what you really think, you don't have feelings! You never treat me like a mom!"
However
I never thought you would turn over my diary, and all my pain and confusion were written in it. You pulled at me and said you wouldn't live if I dared to die.
Again, is that a threat? Or was it bondage? I couldn't stop my whole body from shaking then.
You said, "You're not depressed, the doctor said you're just under too much pressure this time...How can my daughter be depressed ......"
I was silent. I have to count the years.
Now that I'm in college and have traveled farther, your constraints don't work as well for me.
I tried something new
"Congratulations!"
I seem to have passed the interview easily?
"You're a fast learner."
I seem like I can do better than anyone else?
You say, "It feels like I'm getting farther and farther away from you."
You're a very controlling person, and even though you didn't go to high school, or college, you've been giving me instructions and orders from so-called "past experiences" that you've swiped from Jitterbug.
I love you, but I've long since become desensitized to this relationship at some point, and I don't want to be a puppet on a string anymore.
Graduate, go back to your hometown, get a job, get married, have kids. I will never go through with the life you have planned for me, I don't want to become like you, and I don't want my children to go through the life I did.
Oh yes, it's not certain if the child will have one or not, we'll see, if I still don't have the ability and money to take responsibility for a person's future by then, then I won't have one.