But as a woman in her 500 s, she has just reached retirement age and her children are married. After working hard for most of her life, she can finally have her own life, but she never imagined that when her baby grandson was born, on the one hand, she wanted to live for herself, on the other hand, she was a son and daughter-in-law under the dual pressure of work and life. It's really hard for them to make a choice.
Many women will choose to stay at home and help their daughter-in-law take care of their children after retirement, and there will be no free time after work. Are they really willing to help their daughter-in-law take care of the children? The answer is not necessarily.
"I am sincerely willing to help my daughter-in-law when I was a child. After all, that is my own grandson. "
Aunt Jia's wife died early and has been living with her son and daughter-in-law for many years. So after the grandson was born, the task of taking care of the children naturally fell on her. She didn't complain about it and tried her best to help her son and daughter-in-law relieve the pressure. Although she and her daughter-in-law have very different ideas and ways of disciplining their children, and sometimes there are contradictions, after all, blood is thicker than family, and she is still very devoted to her grandson.
Aunt Jia said: "My son and daughter-in-law are also busy at work and often have to stay up late to work overtime. Nowadays, this society is not as competitive as before. If you are not careful, you will be compared by others. As an old woman, in addition to helping them cook and supplement nutrition, the only thing left is to take care of their grandchildren. Sometimes, I envy the old people in the community. We travel together every day and participate in various community activities. However, comparatively speaking, I prefer to take care of my grandchildren. After all, I can help my sons. It is very tiring to walk around this little guy every day, but it is quite happy to watch him grow up day by day. "
"I went to help because my son had to go. The biggest headache is that I can't get along with my wife. "
Aunt Zhou and her wife have been working and living in the county. After graduating from college, her son stayed in the provincial capital. Later, she borrowed money from the provincial capital to buy a house, get married and have children. At first, Aunt Zhou didn't want to take care of her granddaughter separately from her husband. To this end, the son and daughter-in-law also had a quarrel. Daughter-in-law thinks her mother-in-law is in good health and should help with the children. The son naturally thinks of his parents, so he usually asks his wife to send the children to his parents, and the two will pick them up after work. I didn't expect my daughter-in-law to disagree, so they quarreled and even almost divorced.
Aunt Zhou had to go to the provincial capital to take care of her granddaughter alone. She said: "It's too expensive to hire a nanny now, and I don't trust to give my children to them. Seriously, if there is another choice, I don't want to leave the place where I have lived for most of my life and run to a strange place to take care of my children. Moreover, I am often accused by my daughter-in-law of doing this wrong or wrong, and my heart is very uncomfortable. If it weren't for my son, I wouldn't have suffered this. At home, I go to the square dance every day, play Tai Ji Chuan, and go to the corner with my husband at night, not to mention how comfortable it is. Although, I really feel that I have no obligation to help them take care of their children, I can only submit to humiliation and take good care of my granddaughter when my son is so embarrassed. There is nothing willing or unwilling, just a choice under the balance. "
"I am mainly worried that if I don't help them now, they will leave us alone in the future. So help me as much as you can. "
Aunt Li and her husband work in the countryside, and her son and daughter-in-law do small business in the county. After the grandson was born, under the unquestionable arrangement of his daughter-in-law, Aunt Li went up to take care of her daughter-in-law for the first time, and stayed there to help her do housework and take care of her grandson after confinement. Aunt Li's husband will bring some agricultural products to visit his grandson when he is free, and chat with her parents by the way. I lived like this for more than three years. Now the grandson goes to kindergarten. Aunt Li wanted to go home, but her daughter-in-law was pregnant with a second child.
Aunt Li said: "My daughter-in-law is a very strong woman, and she has the final say in everything at home. My son is basically speechless at home. If I don't take care of her children, she will definitely make a scene with my son. When we get old, we will definitely not care about us. Therefore, even if we are wronged in our son's home, I have to endure it and not give him any trouble. In fact, I am getting older every day, and many things become weak. I only hope that when I am alive, my family can take care of each other happily and live a good life. "
"It doesn't matter if I'm not sincere, I just want to compare my heart."
When Aunt Cheng retired at the age of 50, her son was not married. After two years of relaxation, she often goes sightseeing with her old sisters, and her life is very moist. A year after his son got married, he had a child. Aunt Cheng offered to help them with their children. The daughter-in-law is naturally very happy. She felt that she had met a good mother-in-law and was very filial to her. Although there are contradictions from time to time, under the mediation of Aunt Cheng's son, life is still very harmonious.
Aunt Cheng said, "I help my daughter-in-law take care of the children. It can't be said that it is really insincere, just care. " A woman, who has to work and take care of her children, is bound to be difficult to separate, which will also increase the contradiction between the young couple and be bad for both adults and children. Besides, my daughter-in-law, at a young age, certainly can't let her resign and take care of the children, so I will try my best to help them for several years. When our grandson grows up and our wife retires, then we will travel and see the world. I'm not too old now. Help as much as I can while I still have energy. In fact, my daughter-in-law is also a sensible person and is very filial to me. There are some minor contradictions, so we can turn a blind eye to them. There's no need to be too serious. Taking care of children is not easy for me, but it is not a sacrifice. Therefore, I am still willing to help my daughter-in-law take care of the children, so that the family can have a happy life. "
Aunt, everyone has their own opinions. It is impossible to say who is right or wrong. After all, this is a controversial topic. Actually, there is nothing to take for granted. The decision of "whether the mother-in-law helps with the children" is in the hands of the mother-in-law. There is nothing wrong with helping or not. Helping is an obligation, and no one needs moral kidnapping. Whether it is a mother-in-law or a daughter-in-law, as long as they know how to care for each other, I believe that all grievances can be melted in the smiles of healthy children.