Written by: Xueying xy
Writing Tianyue's story, I really look forward to it, in my saddest time, she and I stayed together for three days and three nights in a secluded place, that is, every day, chanting and dancing, to bring out the turbulence of the emotions along with the sweat and tears, the moment we left her and got into a taxi, that rare feeling of inner clarity and serenity is still unforgettable. The moment I left her in the cab, I couldn't forget the rare sense of inner clarity and serenity.
Because of her, I came into contact with the dance, and because of her, I felt the joy of being so close to my true self through the dance, and there were several times, for no reason at all, that I was so sad that I sent some words to Tianyue, and she replied to me with a few words or a few paragraphs of her voice, which could make me cry. I still don't know what kind of energy attraction makes me so willing to get close to her and trust her.
It was a kind of peace of being understood, being fully accepted, touching sensitive nerves, life-to-life respect, and made me feel as if I had found a place in the arms of my mother, who was just a woman of the same age as me, but with a more mature heart, with a rich inner being. I am floating in the world of the mundane, occasionally glimpsed the inner, will be pleasantly surprised, she spent years in the inner world wandering, exploring, addicted to it, determined to walk, so that she was able to become what she is today.
The dream interview, she took me to her new home, and a wise man living with the Zen music echo, pad a few futons will sit on the ground, hanging on the wall of a few I do not recognize but can see the compassionate and joyful statues of the Buddha, there is no fan in the house without air conditioning, the mountain wind whisked by, rolled over the nature of the fragrance of the green grass, refreshing and comfortable. Outdoors is a large terrace, facing the Wutong Mountain, mist curling around, the balcony side planted a few water lilies, light pink and white, as I once meditated and sang when I saw, so fitting. With her *** at the moment, I can clearly feel my heartbeat and pulsation, very calm, very calm ......
In my heart, she is not only a spiritual dancer, but also one of my rare can have a spiritual *** song of the best friend, I heartily like her, but also grateful to her, I think, this time the interview. I think this interview must not be a brain rational thinking record process, but willing to turn off the thoughts, feel the heart experience.
Tianyue said that the 0-5 year old in her life is the most carefree age, the child is directly connected to the state of the body, living is full, fearless action, with unlimited creativity, joy, freshness and curiosity, the inner possession of the true self, life itself is a blessing. As far as she could remember, she had experienced this state of life as a true blossoming flower.
As we grow up and go to school, the door to our true nature is gradually closed, and our personalities develop more and more soundly, and we live out different personalities in order to meet other people's eyes and needs.
We are more mellow, more worldly, and seemingly, more well-behaved.
Tianyue was born in a Cantonese family, she is the eldest daughter of the whole family, from childhood was pinned on the boy's hope, when she was born at that moment, the family looked at the birth of this little girl, can not help but be a little despondent and disappointment, in spite of this, the parents are still doing their best to give a fair view and raising, but also quite enlightened, but as in many families, there is a kind of deep-seated thought or deep into the bone marrow of the entire family.
"Wasn't Grandma quite disappointed when she saw me being born?" Tianyue asked her mom. "Yes."
So Tianyue grew up, like a boy, although the appearance is still a little girl's petite and weak, can not hide the eyes of the defiance and perseverance, the bones, she wants to live more than a boy stronger, more excellent. There is no reason, this becomes the life creed of many people from childhood to adulthood. She worked hard to hope to become the pride of the family, for their own daughter body stubbornly strive to be the best and the best, even to meet the teacher's parents' expectations, even if they read their own do not like the subject, even if they do not do their own heart things.
The blossoming of the true flower had to lower its head, all wrapped up, buried in the soil, giving birth to a more moderate plant.
Until junior high school, a Chinese speech contest attracted her attention, she is not a very brave child, but she decided to accept the challenge, after signing up, she locked herself in the room every day to keep practicing, biting and chewing on a paragraph, slowly and carefully keying in, and constantly practicing over and over again, ten times, one hundred times, two hundred times ... ... even eat and drink water are almost forgotten, without any distractions, completely in the "heart flow" state.
On the day of the competition, once on the stage, many days of intoxicated practice Tianyue with that kind of people in the child itself naturally have the focus to start her speech, that is a kind of complete forgetfulness, the only feeling, the stage as if all people have disappeared, only a language dancer, as if it is the body of the cells of every inch of the command, she has been very sure that the competition will be the winners. The audience under the stage also watched with rapt attention, in awe and clamor. This kind of feeling, let Tianyue so mesmerized, in the eyes of others, this is a thing but no more small, but Tianyue has a more delicate and sensitive perception than ordinary people, more uniquely blessed for the inner world of comprehension and awareness.
A similar feeling appeared in another choral competition in middle school, where she was chosen as the conductor, and practiced again and again in her room until she felt that she and the baton had become completely united, and she stepped onto the stage, with only one voice inside her: "I will win". Forget about the stage, forget about the audience, forget about all the surrounding objects, as if the mind does not have any rational start, all from the heart and sent by the body and move to complete, she felt full of blessings, and finally, the results came out, won the first place in the competition.
Until more than ten years have passed, middle school classmates to see Tianyue, and she said, when she saw Tianyue under the stage command of the state, feel the whole body want to be electrocuted, as was violently shocked, she is still puzzled, why a seemingly small girl why can explode such a powerful energy.
Tianyue recalls that perhaps at that very moment, she planted a seed for her own life, and she truly experienced that when a person is able to live out her true self, and play her own talent, she is so happy, and her sense of value is magnified a hundred times a thousand times. This seed is honorable and pure, not of all the visible material things of the world, but of the inner world. Convinced that she is a girl blessed by the Divine, she is about to embark on a journey for the exploration of the inner.
After experiencing the peak of inner perception and returning to calm, Tianyue's life is no longer difficult to feel infused with vibrant energy, studying, taking exams, two points, one line, and following the rules, and never made any mistakes, eating the past, and not much interest in learning, because of inertia, and could have lived a quiet life, not having been a maverick, but also being different from the rest of the world.
Muddling through, until high school, too reminiscent of the past once felt the living state of vivid, in the face of another school performance, she signed up to participate in the same as before, and constantly practiced over and over again. But she seemed to find that no matter how hard she tried to concentrate as before, her mind was filled with so many distractions.
She hoped to win, but worried about the results, practicing hard but constantly filled with self-questioning and fear of the voice, the more they look forward to returning to the original state of the heart flow, the more they let their own thinking is limited to a variety of ideas, stand to the stage, Tianyue care about the audience, care about the stage, care about the people around them a variety of subtle changes and expressions, the only thing that did not pay attention to and care about, is her own. The result was predictable, the dance was not good, and did not meet the school's requirements, was brushed down, Tianyue was very sad, she was sad, not the loss of the competition, but a search for the true self and the search for the extreme frustration, which has nothing to do with the size of the matter, is an internal deep felt pain.
The same thing, paradoxically, happened again in college. She tried again and again to find the original experience and state of mind in similar scenes, cultural performances, she also signed up, she is too eager to live out their own, too much want to get back to the original state of total commitment. This time, she chose the Indian dance, she worked day and night on her own choreography, repeated rehearsals, full of anticipation for their own, and she stood on the stage again.
Confidently on stage, music, bowing, tiptoe spinning ...... Tianyue's dance talent is obvious, just when everyone is in the dance to bring a visual feast and feel immense shock, "snap" sound, carefully prepared dance clothes of the The suspender belt broke! Tianyue had to use her hand to hold the skirt to keep it from falling, so embarrassing to end up in front of everyone, and this delay, the dance was forced to interrupt, Tianyue was canceled the qualification of the competition.
She returned to the dormitory in a daze, shrinking in the corner head, tears can not stop has been flowing, has been flowing ...... in this way, she stagnant lying a night, the inner Ben I seem to be experiencing a time and again rubbed, torn, tormented, from childhood was educated to be like a boy as good and strong, actually will be for the Ben is not a big The thing was so sad that it was like falling into a deep black hole. Even Tianyue himself, also can not be understood.
After this, even if something big happens to Tianyue, it will not be able to compare to the same degree of sadness this time. She tried again and again to return to the state of the body, but again and again frustration, frustration after the endless suffocation and sadness, after this, Tianyue became more introverted, more afraid of failure, do not dare to take action, afraid of the end.
She feels that her body is alive, but her soul feels as if it is dead.
Perhaps everyone's life, there may be some deep traumatic experiences, will let us suddenly stop, stumbling, perhaps in the eyes of others is not relevant, but only we know, those injuries and pain, is the inner self hissing out of the distress signal.
The zombie-like Tianyue spent her middle school years and entered the university campus.
That day, Tianyue walked on the green path of the university campus, looked up and a touch of sunlight, through the gap between the leaves fell on her, at the moment, gazing at this gift from nature, without the need for extravagance can be within reach, she did not have a trace of distraction rose, experienced the ultimate tranquility and beauty, as if reading the leaves, the sunshine of the secret language.
She closed her eyes, and that once-familiar sensation was once again felt anew, pressed into place with no effort at all. She was sure it must be another of the occasional graces of the heavens, a momentary glimpse of truth. It had been a long wait, but it had finally come.
Walking along the school road, suddenly a powerful voice bubbled up from within her "I want to live my true self!" The voice is very powerful, as if a fear of death, the energy and drive to go out in a steady stream of outward emanation.
After this inner voice was issued, it seemed that the inner strong desire reached a critical point, Tianyue returned to the dormitory, opened the laptop, and a video just appeared, which was the video of the Zen initiator in the movement in Thailand who was practicing zazen and preaching the Dharma. Looking at his state of ultimate serenity and wisdom, as if beyond the three-dimensional space, although separated from the screen, but Zen knit his brows and smile are let Tianyue feel like being electrocuted, she has always been the state of the hard to find, this respect in front of the eyes of the real live out!
From then on, Tianyue has formed a deep bond with Zen in Motion Thailand.
So, in the four years of college, in addition to completing her academic tasks, Tianyue put almost all of her body and mind on psychology, philosophy, and Zen study, she went to the library and hungrily collected related books to read, searched for various ways to get in touch with the inner cultivation through the Internet, and saved money to participate in the study class. She also understands very well that practicing inner cultivation is not the same as giving up her studies and detaching herself from the mundane, she has to keep on learning knowledge, precipitating herself and making herself stronger. The only really comprehensive multi-dimensional understanding of the still love, is what they really want.
In the housemates are busy going to the movies singing K make-up beauty, carefree enjoy the university of this wonderful years of youth, Tianyue is like a group of great anomalies, each person can understand what she is exploring, but also each person can understand her about the pursuit of the inner this strong thirst, it seems that everyone will be the same cognition of each age and expectations, Tianyue did, and does not look like a college student "should", "should". The fact is that the whole world is not a single country, but it's just that the world is not a single country, and it's not a single country.
But Tianyue is the only one who is particularly sure that she wants to listen to her own voice, and she wants to stick to herself.
In 2011, after graduating from the university, Tianyue came to Shenzhen, the first engaged in the real estate exhibition media work.
Shenzhen, let Tianyue y feel that this is really a magical city, those in the university was not understood "strange" pursuit, into this pluralistic values of the dream of the city, as if it can be accepted and tolerated, be respected and supported, where Tianyue the pursuit of the inner dream completely have the precipitation of the growth of her unlimited space.
The boss at the time was particularly enlightened, and knowing Tianyue's rare perseverance, he supported Tianyue's continuous cultivation and exploration of her inner self outside of work, and from that moment on, Tianyue began her inner journey of exploration in the true sense of the word. She went to a temple for the first time to practice, meditation, meditation, internal observation, full dedication and concentration, listening to the voice of the inner, out of the world in order to enter the world, she knew that she could not be a monk, to repair in the red dust.
In later years, Tianyue participated in nearly twenty seven-day meditation sessions off and on, and what touched her the most was that it made her realize that as a human being, she must cultivate her own inner awareness, and that only through self-awareness can she dissolve all the patterns of inner suffering, and become more compassionate to herself, to others, and to the world. All along, she felt that she had been "recognizing the thief as the father and the seriousness as the falsehood" for too long. The thief refers to the distracting thoughts, patterns and habits within each of us, and we have forgotten our true self and essence, and the purpose of meditation is to meet with our true selves again and again. The things we have experienced since childhood must have triggered a lot of emotions that have not been truly expressed, and these unfinished events have become a lot of personality facets that have not been dissolved. Inner meditation is about letting the light shine through the darkness, shining into the heart, dissolving these facets of the past personality, and becoming the real "true" person.
In 2012, when the end of the world was rumored, Tianyue gave herself a good reason to complete the pilgrimage that she had dreamed of for a long time, and if it would really be the last day, she asked herself what she really wanted to do the most. Tianyue didn't hesitate, she quit her job and set off from Shenzhen to Tibet, Nepal, traveled through India, Sri Lanka, then to Thailand, Macau, and finally back to Shenzhen.
Every pious face in Tibet, clean without a trace of impurities in the smile, are y pierced into the heart of Tianyue, perhaps this is a piece of the closest to the true place, she learned the pilgrimage of Tibetans, in the earth and sky this pure land between the kneeling, hands folded, five body, throw away all the limitations of the mind, with the heart close to the earth, diffusion of all of their senses, to understand, to feel, The first thing you need to do is to get into the power of faith.
The pure smile of the pedicab driver, this is a kind of joy without any conditions, really too honorable. Witnessing the sky burial ceremony, Tianyue was shocked, people in the departure of the body is just a cellular composition of the body, since even the body we can not cling to, a lot of external attachment can be put down.
Came to Sri Lanka, Thailand, experience the rituals of Hinayana Buddhism, flowers are fed with the thoughts of people devout, good prayers, feeling alive in the balance and joy of freedom. India's orderly polarization in disorder, one second by the sudden car driver deceived, the latter burst a car wash master put down his hands, took the initiative to help send Tianyue and partners back to the hotel. From hell to heaven. This is the real, diverse and rich world.
The practice of inner, not only in their own world, perhaps in the world, read more mountains and seas, through more life, to be more full, strong.
After returning to China, Tianyue went to a small temple in a small town in Wenzhou, and allowed herself to retreat for three months, handing over her cell phone, facing the sky, and not talking to each other, and what she did every day was to pay attention to every inch of her body's skin perception, to be aware of every thought that flashed by, to meditate, and to practice Zen.
This is a journey of deep dialogue with one's own inner self, Tianyue in three months to see his many rising thoughts, emotions, self-judgment system, floating over, see it, accept it, and let it slowly float away, stay with yourself completely, a lot of the past did not digest the personality side of the dissolution of the past unfinished events to be accomplished, the heart is completely quiet, many internal inspirations and theories. Many inner inspirations and wisdoms emerge.
When the three-month period arrived, Tianyue was released from the prison, came to the cab stand, got into the car, she was like a world away, as if she had come to another time and space, very noisy and strange, but Tianyue's internal at that moment was clear, empty, and serene. Row color rushing crowd rubbing shoulders, everyone's face seems to be hung with thoughts and uneasiness, outside any wind blowing, is enough to make the not strong inner vulnerability.
"I want to bring this realization of living out one's inner true self to more people, so that more people can live out the quality of the truth of life, so that their inner wisdom is presented", right now, Tianyue made a benign wish and dream.
Then, Tianyue focused on meditation, participated in a large number of dance, psychology, philosophy, Buddhism courses to learn, and spent more time every day to explore themselves, which is a very magical process, the inner world is just like a seat hidden countless treasures of the cave, and keep going inside, you can continue to find a variety of treasures.
The dream of "living out one's true self" has led Tianyue to explore and pursue it all the way, and from 2007 to 17 years, Tianyue has been walking for ten years.
When you continue to do a good job at every point in the day, you will attract more and more peers. Previously, Tianyue thought that she was the only one who was interested in inner exploration, but later realized that everyone, in fact, will go on this path, dissolve the pain, and live a complete life.
Joining the Dream Actors, Tianyue believes that it is another gift given to her by God, and that the dream in Tianyue's heart has actually been there for a long time, and it just needs a push to help. Tianyue met Xiong, BaoDa and Xiang, as well as many excellent partners in the Dream Actors, who support and encourage each other, and are like a big container accepting all kinds of dreams from all people, and, of course, including the ones like The company's mission is to provide the best possible service to its customers.
BaoDa supported Tianyue to try to open the first dance salon, to share their years of precipitation to more people, I did not expect, in the activities, we presented a state greatly exceeded expectations, we are in the same frequency, touched, tears, clean up, so that all the emotions of the real flow, healing the hurt, intoxicated by the dance, a deep experience of love for their own bodies, love for their own hearts. With sharing time and time again, Tianyue attracted more and more people around her, and she formed a small community of Dance Awareness, where we danced and punched the clock together, sharing the touching feelings of the soul. This has helped more and more people fall in love with dancing and gain spiritual growth.
Tianyue later went to a professional Zen dance institution to teach, continue to practice, and then later, Tianyue left the institution, became a professional spiritual dance teacher, to the major enterprises, organizations and friends to share, to carry out different themes of the energy dance workshop, really their own obsession with the hobby has become a career, running their own community, leading a group of people to go on the spiritual dance of the inner practice of the road.
Tianyue's sharing is always filled with the power of serenity, and she prefers to use the title of "sharer" instead of "teacher", because all beings are equal, and she doesn't want to be superior, but rather wants to be able to serve everyone more humbly, and spread some kind of beautiful ideas to more people. She does not want to be superior, but wants to be more humble to serve everyone, to spread some kind of good ideas to more people. And more and more busy and anxious commuters ride the crowded subway, through the scurrying crowd, take off the grinding heels, come to Tianyue side, put down the mind, follow the limbs, swing body, dance with the heart ...... a moment of serenity, a moment to get along with themselves, to get the precious power, enough to support themselves in the same work road, smile and joy forward. The road, smile and joy forward.
When you live out your true self and release your talent and joy, your sense of worth is magnified a hundred times over. At the end of the interview, Tianyue and I said, "I still have two sincere dreams as I did at the beginning, one is to live out my true self, and the other is to become a dancing sharer. I am thankful that the heavens have been constantly giving the resources and blessings she asked for to help me realize my dreams, and to be able to have thumping dreams is a gift that everyone deserves to find out"
When she said this, she was still so calm and joyful. Before, what I saw was Tianyue's current state without ever knowing her story, and the interview was over. The interview ended, and I didn't seem to hear any bizarre twists and turns in the story, however, it doesn't prevent the fullness of Tianyue's life journey, the inner world, no less than the outer world, just as wonderful, beautiful, and worthy of savoring and exploring.
Now, Tianyue has rediscovered the true state of her life, which she has been searching for through the pain of inner growth, but the road of exploring the inner world is a never-ending road, and you never know whether it will be filled with flowers or thorns.
The unknown treasures within, stepping into them a little, and then a little more, she is willing to pursue for a lifetime.
Tianyue said to me - "Thank you xy life to life, essence to essence interviews, listening to the tenderness, tolerance of every daf experience, y blessed that everyone can live the gift of blossoming, the inner truth."