◆ Hair is unfair to human beings, and many people don't realize it, but people who transplant hair have to spend a lot of money.
◆ My family said that my sense of direction was poor, and I refused to accept it. Until today, I bought a watermelon and turned it into a pumpkin.
Grandma Liu, a neighbor, came to my house to complain. When she saw me, she said angrily to my father, "Is there any enmity between my glass window and your family?" You used to play slingshot, but when you grow up, your son will start again ... "
◆ Say things are impermanent, say things are unpredictable, nothing more than that I was on a business trip and you delivered the goods. (Speaker: Meet and hate each other late)
My second-rate life
Back to my hometown, I bought a crutch and put on sunglasses to lead the dog. When I arrived at the passenger station, the staff stopped me. "I am a guide dog!" I said. The other party sneered: "I have never seen a husky can be a guide dog."
◆ I recognized the wrong person on the road, suddenly patted my uncle on the shoulder and shouted "Uncle". The man looked back blankly. Fortunately, I was witty and immediately covered my chest and fell to the ground and said, Help ... help me. ...
◆ I accidentally bumped into a piano while visiting the piano shop. The boss said to me, "Be careful, this is more than 200 thousand!" " I am unhappy: "If I can't afford it, I'll entrust myself to the head office?" The boss immediately said, "It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter, the piano is not broken, it can still be used!" " "
My husband sent me back to my parents' house When I got to the train station, I said, "I can do it myself. Don't worry, go back first! " Husband: "Nothing, I don't feel at ease without watching you get on the bus." I said shyly, "Oh dear! I'm fine! I'm such an adult, don't worry about me ... "Husband:" Don't talk nonsense, I'm afraid you won't leave ... "
(Speaker: Tree of the Forest)
Interesting life
A friend has a cat at home. Whenever he makes a mistake, he will be thrown out of the window by his friends. One day, when I was playing at a friend's house, the cat accidentally knocked over a can of coke on the table. He stared at his friend for a few seconds, then walked slowly to the window and fell sideways.
◆ When I was a child, a classmate stole a score and added two zeros after 1, which became 100. It looks good to me at first sight, so please ask him to help me correct it. Who knows this guy took my test paper and added two zeros to the score without looking at it. The point is that I didn't read it at that time, so I went home with this 800-point test paper. I almost got killed by my dad.
◆ I just applied for a new WeChat trumpet and secretly added my dad. Dad agreed, so I started chatting with him. Me: "Handsome boy, are you married?" My dad: "My daughter is as old as you." Me: "Your daughter must be beautiful, right?" Dad: "Beautiful is beautiful, but a little silly." I was shocked: "Why?" My dad: "Because when she applied for a trumpet, she always used her own photo as her avatar."
(Presenter: Smiling)
Legendary reply
Q: "What kind of man is a boy who goes after a girl knowing that she has a boyfriend?"
God replied, "People who know how to invest. Chasing a girl with a boyfriend, who has only one competitor; Chasing a girl without a boyfriend will face countless competitors. "
Q: "What gift are you going to give your mother on Mother's Day?"
God replied: "I enrolled her in four training courses, one-on-one English tutoring, introduction to square dance, basic course of Chinese painting and SLR photography." I hope my mother's retirement life will be richer. Daily growth, I want to check my homework when I go home! Come on! "
Q: "What did you know after chasing many girls but all ended in failure?"
God replied, "I am a good man."
Q: "What is the most disloyal thing in the world?"
God replied, "It's money. We agreed to go out together, and then it won't come back with you. "