In 2015, a friend of mine, Zhang, was also diagnosed with mild depression shortly after giving birth to her second child.
These two cases that really happened around me made me start to think seriously about how women in marriage should make themselves better off.
My cousin's family is not bad, my cousin's uncle is a rural man who can earn a living and is honest, and his two daughters are well behaved, one is studying outside the university, and the other one is in a boarding high school.
She had been suffering from depression for a long time before she committed suicide, and rural people may not pay much attention to it, and she has been taking medication, but the effect seems to be not obvious.
Cousin uncle often go out to work, the children and are not at home, cousin aunt afraid of her one at home more will be rambling, so they took over their own home for a period of time.
According to the cousin said, in her home during that time, the cousin aunt always go to the roof alone, when she was awake to ask her, she said she always feel the heart of the boredom of panic, see high places want to jump. The cousin's family was also frightened, and someone had to watch her every day.
Later, the mother and cousin aunt always feel that they can not understand, a very good condition, not lack of food, not lack of clothing, do not need her to do too much housework, but also do not need her to bear the pressure of life's family, why would she suffer from depression, so that she chose to commit suicide?
It is said that on the morning of the suicide, she was still sweeping the floor at the front gate and laughing with her neighbors, who would have thought that two hours later, she would never be seen again.
I've always felt that material things are not what everyone is looking for. Maybe she got depressed just because her heart wasn't fulfilled or her values weren't reflected, and the long-term depression and loneliness led her to this road of no return.
There is a saying in my hometown: "People who are idle have more things to do." It means that when people are too idle, they are prone to think wildly, take the bull by the horns, and then get into trouble.
Although the words are rough, but the reason is not rough. So people should learn to utilize their time.
Whether it is to go to work, to travel, or to study, even if it is to go to the square dance, to find their own can do things, love to do things, and then find a group of like-minded people.
Fill up your time, that is, fill up your life, then what else is there to hold on to?
Xiao Zhang is a married to the local girl, her husband is a tobacco company staff, the salary is good. The family is the demolition of households, can be divided into several suites, the husband does not have siblings to share the family property, the conditions are also good people envy.
The family has a hard time reading the book, other people's days in the end is not good, only she knows.
Her eldest daughter and my daughter is the same age, we chat every day in the neighborhood courtyard. Because the relationship is very good, or maybe she wants to find someone to talk to, always will tell us a few baby moms about her family.
Her father-in-law died very early, and when she married there was only her mother-in-law. The mother-in-law is a retired employee of the tobacco company, and her retirement salary is very high.
I often see her mother-in-law, but every time I was very surprised. Because an aunt in her 50s, every day, heavy makeup, black stockings, ultra-short skirts, anyway, I do not have the courage to be like her.
According to Xiao Zhang, her mother-in-law never gave the family an allowance, and only occasionally bought food for the children. She made a boyfriend who is much younger than herself, and often gives that man money to spend, and has spent 200,000 yuan. And do not help her to bring up children, do not do housework, with the man sometimes go out to play mahjong, a go out on many days do not return.
After she gave birth to her second child, her health was a bit poor, so she wanted to talk to her mother-in-law about whether she could help her take one, or transport her eldest daughter to kindergarten.
Although her mother-in-law didn't explicitly refuse, she often didn't come home from then on. She tried to find her husband to give her mother-in-law a word, but he was not on her side either. Because the husband was brought up by the mother-in-law alone, that feeling is not the same. And the husband is more gentle, so he said to let her take care of herself a little more.
The first month of the month, she was in tears every day, and then she got depressed.
When I saw her again after the month, she was in a very bad state of mind, and she was always complaining to us. We can only keep comforting her and persuading her.
It is said that a mother is a strong mother, and Zhang is an example of this.
During that time, we had a mother in the group, Taobao did very well, micro-business is also doing very well, we all follow her to learn how to do micro-business, a mother group slowly turned into a learning struggle group. The company has also begun to change under the drive of positive energy.
She began to learn to rationalize the time of the two children, rationalize their own time, and then learned not to rely on her husband and mother-in-law, to do all the things they can do, but also to find time to do micro-business.
Now she is doing very well with her health micro store, and her children are being raised very well. It's also rare to hear her complain about her mother-in-law anymore, in her own words, "You can ignore me, so I'll pretend I can't see you."
All the choices are made by yourself, and you have to finish the road after choosing.
If no one to share, then let yourself independent, brave to bear, in order to walk the road.
"Two children" is the word I've heard the most in the past few years, and it's only in the past year or so that I've begun to hear it.
I only have one daughter, and my in-laws have always wanted me to have a boy, and we've had many discussions about it. Not a discussion exactly, just them telling me to have another boy.
My health has never been very good, and after my menstrual cycle it didn't make me any better. Chronic insomnia and dreams made me especially miserable.
The child was brought up by me alone, and I took care of her every time she stirred the quilt at night, and every night when she was sick. I'm not sure how much I'm going to be able to do this, but I'm sure I'll be able to do it on my own, and I'm sure I'll be able to do it on my own, and I'm sure I'll be able to do it on my own. One is enough as long as the child is taught well. Not to mention that my body really can't support me to have and raise another one.
And most importantly, my mother-in-law favors sons over daughters. When I was seven months pregnant, I found out that it was a daughter in my hometown, and my mother-in-law ignored me for a day when I got home. I can't guarantee that my second child will be a boy, and if it's still a girl, I won't be able to hold my head up in this family.
Women really need to love themselves more, stick to themselves, and do what they want to do right.
My daughter is now in elementary school, and I have regular time to do what I want to do, such as writing. Time is no longer wasted, and I am becoming more and more fulfilled and at peace with myself.
The most important thing that every woman can't forget is her original appearance, don't lose your luster because of marriage.
Learn to utilize the time, learn to think independently, learn to love yourself, bravely undertake, but not overly dependent, to do the glittering woman!
I'm Rainfall Lotus Pond, a baby mama who loves traveling, loves learning (and has studied to get a tour guide license), loves writing, and is sentimental.