Quote: LZ male, said a female colleague, like girls, dressed up is also very masculine! One day to KTV to play together, howling wildly drink, are dizzy, to go to the bathroom, she said to go together, did not care, who knows that the girl all the way to the men's toilet, stood on the side of the pool to unbuckle the belt to say: "Crap out of the forgot to bring the bird!" Then look at me silently went to the women's restroom!
1, after lunch to go to the barber store haircut, the boss asked me how to cut, I came to a sentence: "to handsome cut!" At this time, next to a baked oil perm hair of the older woman looked y at me, said: "Young man, look at you long like this. Don't make it difficult for the boss, it's not easy for him to earn some money." I...
2, a friend when he was a child and his brother stole his grandfather's cigarettes to learn to smoke and play, and his brother discussed how to steal. His brother contemplated half a day and said in a box to steal will be found by grandpa, we stole a box of sure no one knows! Then his grandfather went home and found a cigarette all apart, beat that miserable ah!
3, I have seen some people's wives and her family next door to the old king cheating. So in contrast, I live or very happy. First, my neighbor's last name is not Wang, and second, my last name is Wang.
4, my brother. Roadside passengers to sit to a place, and refused to play the table, I said: 50 it, that place is quite far. Passengers hard not to let, have to 40 dollars on the car. Finally I said: brother, give a reason, 40 dollars, brother to drive you away. Buddy said: "Forty is better than eloquent." "Cough ...... this..."
5, to go to the tooth extraction pro remember, be sure not to eat breakfast before the tooth extraction time to drink tofu brain, soybean milk, porridge and so on, nothing else to say, to the dentist cleaning office! I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that.
6, I went to school with a particularly bad temper, one day students stepped on my foot, I let him have the balls to wait in front of the school after school. I ate dinner and walked far away to see him still waiting, the gas only subsided most of the time.
7, if the two teams are favorites, you have to watch the live broadcast late at night, or else watch the video the next day. Look at the video there are instructions: first drag the progress to the middle, according to the score a little bit to drag forward until the goal before the three minutes or so, complete look at the wave of offense, beautiful! Stop and play, an hour and a half of video, ten minutes to watch, and then go online to discuss with people to go! That's right, pseudo-fans watching soccer is the same as watching a usual island action movie.
8, yesterday and talked about half a year of girlfriend finally married, she is simple and lovely, gentle and considerate, the key I still her first love. When I asked her if she wanted to bring a condom at night, she said, "Bring it, I don't want to get pregnant again."
9, gambling lost 2 games in a row, he found the Zen master complained: "Master, my money is almost lost." The Zen master silently took out a cup, poured out the tea inside then filled a cup of plain water and handed it to him. He was a bit confused, "Do you mean for me to return to my ordinary life?" "I bought England to win yesterday, so I can only drink plain water from now on." The Zen master almost cried out.
10, one day and Dad walked on the street, suddenly heard a sound behind the flutter, it was an old man fell. At that time, I thought: "Should I help? Help, for fear of being falsely accused, do not help, and feel sorry for the conscience ......" At this time, Dad yelled: "What are you TM frozen? Not quickly help the old man up!"
11, the morning, the bear asked his mom: "Mom, what is happiness?" Mom said: "You go out and ask other people, come back at night and then tell you mom." Little bear went out, along the way met elephants, foxes, tigers, bunnies, but they all said they do not know what is happiness, and came home at night little bear asked: "Mom, now you can tell?" Mama Bear laughed, "What could be happier than a bear child not being around all day?"
12, there is a female colleague's English name Life, although the original I have always felt that this name is a little that, but will not go deep thought. Until one day, a girl ran over to her, opened her mouth and called out: Lai Fu ah!
13, a friend chased a girl, the girl did not agree. Once, the friend fiddled with her cell phone to play, suddenly ringing, is her father. Friends brain electrocution on the phone: "Dad ..." and then the phone back to the girl. The girl then took the phone to one side to pick up, ten minutes later the girl a black line: "You win, my dad Spring Festival let me take you home."
14, I remember when I was a child like to play Street Fighter, one day my brother wore a red, head tied a red cloth, envy dead, so the next day I wore a white, head tied a white cloth, not yet out of the door, was the adults grabbed by the ears, wrapped around the face on the fan, the face is swollen ......
15, on the middle school of an embarrassing incident, that time in the middle of the night two or three points of the school, the school was in the middle of the night two or three points of the school. At that time, two or three o'clock in the middle of the night, the school teaching office joint classroom teacher often raids to check the bed. One night, I next door to the dormitory special good a buddy with a fever, cold shivering, I ran to his bed and hugged him to sleep ... ... midnight classroom teacher kicked open the door with a flashlight to look at the two of us only wearing small pants hugging sleep, froze for two seconds, a face of disgust and turned his head away ...
16, I heard that acupuncture and cupping to lose weight is very effective, and I went to I also went to try. Back to the husband to see a piece of purple on the waist. The two goods yelled: "Ya, how you like to be stamped pork!"
17, on the way to Tibet, the train has been playing oxygen, the conductor has been emphasizing do not feel free to move around, lying down the best, for fear of plateau reaction, sleeper there is a man, has been bouncing, talking loudly back and forth to climb up and down the bunk to get something. He also said that his body is absolutely no problem. The last was found fainted in the toilet, rolled a Xiang!
18, today after lunch, the company issued fruit is bananas, aunty pushed the car to throw the bananas to everyone on the table, work, snooze, brushing the microblogging, playing the phone, all sit up and start peeling bananas to eat, with the wild chimpanzee nature conservation base as well.
19, my class has a special shy boys, the boys have a childhood girlfriend grew up together, one day together at dinner, a bunch of girls teased him, said: "If your childhood friend married, the groom is not how do you do?" The boy special calm, did not raise his head and said: "The child's father is my line!" decisively black ~ ~
20, today's work subway super crowded, a man accidentally stepped on a woman's foot, said sorry. How do you expect the female side does not rely on the unforgiving voice of anger, the man really can not stand to take out the phone to her, the phone on the Tom Cat opened ......
21, Snow White (because of the beautiful) by the Queen of jealousy, nearly killed, but fortunately (because of the beautiful) by the hunter to let go of the hunter, (because of the beautiful) and got the rescue of the seven little Ming. Although she almost died from eating a poisoned apple, she woke up with a kiss from the prince (because she was pretty). （She was loved by the whole country and lived happily ever after with the prince. Do you get the moral of the story?
22, remember the previous cough, go to the doctor, the doctor let me smoke less every day. That's how I learned to smoke.
23, Sima Yi rate of troops came to the city, but see the gates are wide open, the citadel only Zhuge Liang a person in the piano. A large wave of square dance under the city floor of the amah on Sima Yi, then Zhuge Liang shouted to the amahs: "It is these people, to rob you to dance square dance of the ground!" Sima Yi, died.
24, just now I told my wife that I bought her a suite in Beijing, she grabbed my hand and said, "Oh my God, is this true? Hubby, I'm so excited." To be honest, I am also very excited, after all, this is the first time I lied.
25, the bunny wants to know what is happiness, so go to ask the tiger, the tiger said a family together is happiness, and then go to ask the lion, the lion said you love people also love you is happiness, and finally went to ask the leopard, the leopard said that the body is healthy is happy, the rabbit returned home to tell his mother, his mother said that in fact, you're quite happy today, the rabbit did not understand to ask why, his mother said: because you still today TM can come back alive, and I'm not happy. You can still come back alive today, child!
26, the family has a four-year-old loli, just played with the neighbor girl (the same age), the girl said: "Let's play house games, you as a mother, I as a daughter. At that time the owner thought: stupid ah, that does not let people stand cheap. At this time the daughter came to a: "Mom I want to eat crushed ice ice." So the neighbor kids farted home to take it. I want to say the girl you hide is how deep ah!
27, a group of people to travel to Egypt, but I heard that Egypt is very haunted, so I asked a tourist office of the old lady at the door: "Granny, I heard that this forest is haunted, is it true?" Old lady: "Nonsense! I've lived here for 300 years, and I've never heard of this place being haunted!"
28, my nephew was very naughty, and at night he insisted on going to play soccer, but my aunt wouldn't let him, and insisted that he read a book. Nephew opened the door ready to run downstairs, the aunt eurydice Xiaoming's arm, a hand hard fan in his father's face. She yelled, "If you don't study hard, you'll get a wife who's as mean as me! Xiaoming looked at his father's red face, silently went back to read.
29, "If Messi was born in China will be how" guess, finally a netizen's answer to the majority of people's recognition: unlikely to do athletes, because from a young age there is a disease, not high, certainly not be selected by the sports school, probably because of the lack of money to treat the disease, has been short, bullied at school, introverted, but very smart, study well, get a degree in the school, but the school is not a good place. Very smart, read well, get a famous university, now busy looking for a job ......
30, the class teacher asked everyone, now communication is so hair developed, who knows the earliest way of communication is what? A student said: "dream". The teacher said, "Well, you give me out!"
Afterword: Hey! You really don't say, this billion dollar investment in the house to live really TM comfortable! Furniture and electrical appliances and what not to say, just talk about this style! Is not a small building apartments those labor comparable? Forget it, I still have to grab my bed. If this bastard sleeps in my bed, how can I go to work tomorrow if I don't have the energy? The company's main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers.
aggrieved personality said
1, playing the hearts of people, never get the hearts of people; test feelings of people, each time can not stay feelings.
2, the world's most heartbreaking feeling, not love lost. Rather, it is the time to hand over the heart, but was deceived.
3. You love her, I quit. You love me, I will not let you die to others.
4, the upgraded version of friends is lovers, lovers of the lower version is a stranger.
5, some people, I can not let go, but I can not help it, pretending to be strong, smiling and saying that it does not matter, the happier the smile, the more pain in the heart.
6. I want to turn my life to the last page. I want to see who is the one who accompanies me to the white head.
7, time is changing, people are changing. Some things, no matter how hard, can not go back is not back.
8, some people, inadvertently, forget; some people, you want to find ways to forget.
9, you simply do not know how much I am afraid, how afraid, afraid of you being liked by others, afraid of you like others.
10, the world must have another me, doing things I dare not do, living a life I want to live.
11, see through the time, give yourself a little surprise, a little sunshine, a little care; this winter will be very warm.
12, the numbness of the pain, the feeling of forgetfulness, growing up day by day, a little bit of understanding, a little bit of throbbing
13, waiting for the accumulation of harm. Turn around and leave, have something to say, seabirds and fish love, just an accident.
14, a crush on a person is like a hysterical one-man show into the theater is I am oblivious to the person is you
15, does not belong to me, I do not want. Not really give me something, I don't care.
16, how unhappy they are never to bother others happy, this is the principle.
17, "later" this word summarizes all of us are not willing to change and the face of the whole thing
18, obviously he is more gentle, perhaps he can give you more No need to choose I will automatically become friends
19, you certainly do not feel that they say the wrong thing to do the wrong thing, not to mention will be I'm sorry.
20, good to yourself, life is not long; good to others, the next life is not necessarily meet.
21. Don't wait for me to shed tears before you understand my sadness. Don't wait for me to disappear, you only know my existence
22, a person's cell phone power consumption is particularly fast. But when someone is there, it doesn't matter if the cell phone comes with or without it.
23, to say ah time can cure everything although I can not tell you how long this time.
24, perhaps one day when I am outrageous to a degree, I will look down on myself and then reform
25, in our story, you and he is the protagonist, and I, just a passer-by
26, there is not so moment, you heartache over my persistence.
27, fantasy, you have not left, just give me a long, long vacation.
28, I know you are very sad, feelings of payment is not sincere will have results.
29, in their own most unintentional so a moment, but hurt an innocent heart.
30, what all have to find out the bottom but can not stand the stimulation of the truth, this is the common problem of women.
31, why do you always say let you quiet, you can not bravely face once?
32, not that I pretend to be sad, but my nature is cool, bone through the despair.
33, the original, love has never left, just I remember, you forget
34, why bother, why do we have to use that little bit of emotion to maintain the relationship now
35, I do not pretend to be a snake heart, how to match you suave and unparalleled
36, I said: I bet I will get a good card someday. You don't realize that the sentence behind is: for the love of the corruption of King Kong is not bad.
37, I hate my friends always give me a face, want me to see her face over.
38, in fact, I have always been behind you, just missing you a turn around.
39, New Year's Day this day, I came again , retention of the world's people happy
40, let me love you for life okay? I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that, but I'm going to be able to do it.
41, not good, not good at all, I will hurt you.
42, you do not understand my silence, and how will understand my sadness.
43, love a person who does not love you is like holding a cactus. The tighter you hold it, the more hurt you are.
44, I don't expect anything, I just hope that you after the woman is not as good as one.
45, they say as long as I no longer see your figure will forget you.
46, how many people are in order to not let others see the heart, pretend to be crazy, cheeky.
47, why the ending must be sad, why happiness always pass me by.
48, people sometimes, always in the loss of only after the realization, some people, some things, thought just a touch of life in the clouds
49, in fact, here to find a personality signature of everyone wants to find a word of their own heart here.
50, once. You said you love me, I laughed. Happy laugh Now. You said you love me, I laughed. Ironic laugh
51, you think, I can not live without you, I love you, but I also know, when to give up.
52, maybe one day when I'm outrageous to a degree, I will look down on myself and then reformed.
53, the feeling of happiness can be expressed in what words, I do not know, I only look forward to this moment never stop
54, maybe one day when I am outrageous to a degree, I will look down on myself and then reformed.
55, every time you want to find someone to accompany you, you will find that there are people who can not find there are people who should not find there are people who can not find
56, I am hanging himself in a tree, but also can not take down the body of the kind of people!
57, I'm wasting time, I'm squandering time, I'm blurring the present, I'm afraid of the future.
58, do not say that you are not good, I tell you, as long as I like you, in the old man's heart you are the best.
59, crying like crying like thinking about you, sobbing like sobbing like reading you, entangled like entangled like dreaming about you, knot like knot like love you.
60, most of the mistakes, because do not insist, do not try, do not retain, and then hypnotize themselves that everything is fate.
The wind is silent, and the lonely seems to be pulling madly, how to say that the export of the unwillingness to give up, but you turned away.
To do such a stupid thing, this is the last time
For some things we are not in tears, is it that we are heartless or strong
You and I are cool people, and why will the love words so lovely and moving.
My love for you, consumed.
You don't understand me when you don't understand me, even if I pour my heart out to you, you can't read it.
The wind took away the clouds, the sun sent away the haze, but how can I not take you away.
The age of ten years old, you can fall in love with millions of people, do not dirty yourself.
You love me or not time can prove, even if we are not together
I fell the most miserable place is the location of my restart, this is my feelings, I clean up their own.
You never take into account my feelings and how would you know how hard it is for me
The wind takes away the clouds, the sun sends away the haze, but how can I not take you away.
I so for the deepest love, no more than after the separation, I will be living as your appearance.
The taste of forgetting is like appreciating a cruel beauty, and then with a very, very small voice, telling yourself to face it strongly.
The feeling of pain to the bone, you know, not to say empathy, not to say in the realm of
The dog barking at two in the morning, like that night I said out loud, you do not go.
What I can forgive is you, what I can't forgive is myself.
Where is the end without the beginning
I don't know if liking you in these wasted years is something that can lift one's spirits.
What is happiness? Happiness is holding a pair of hands that you want to hold, walking through the bustle and hustle and bustle together, waiting for the loneliness and loneliness together; it is accompanying a person who wants to accompany you, laughing together when you are happy and crying together when you are sad; it is having a heart that you want to have, repeating the boring days are not boring, doing the same things are not boring.
In love, the party that cares the most, in the end is often the most tragic loss. Go to find a person who will make you happy for the rest of your life, that is the goal of love. The best, often is also in your side the longest. Therefore, the selection of lovers do not need too many standards, we only need these three: do not lie to you, do not hurt you, and accompany you.
Heart broken without trace, I move the sky to move the ground is to move you
About the story between us, I always in the far-fetched explanation.
Those who said they would never part, have long been scattered to the ends of the earth.
The bravest thing I ever did was to walk away without looking back when I loved you the most.
I can feel your heartache, you have your unspeakable helplessness but you make a look of indifference, the more you do this the more difficult it is for me
Love you for so long, in fact, counting is not easy, and now I have decided to forget, but you appeared in my sight
There is no such thing as missing the person who will leave are passers-by.
Don't say goodbye when you want to leave, goodbye is equal to never see again.
I want to see a little lighter, a little lighter, lighter to do not want to see it,
As if I was the air, so that at least left me, you can not live
I also do not know in this deserted years, like you, is not considered to be a thing that invigorates the spirit of the people.
Every time you meet the annoying thing on the habit of writing words on the circle of friends microblogging to vent, honestly only to others to prove that you have had a bad time, other people's consolation and caution, always make up for the scars in your heart, but let those who do not want to see you look at the joke of the people. Once upon a time, tears need to be wiped by others, and then do not cry easily, once upon a time, afraid of, and then are relieved, the heart of the disease, they are the best cure.
Memories have you, sadness has me, we are just each other passers-by.
Thank you for throwing me off halfway, so that I can see what I didn't see before.
Lover, are you tired of acting? I'm tired of my eyes.
Touching the tear-wet face, as if hearing the sound of loss.
I think I can't afford it, I can't afford it, I can't afford it.
Just pretend that the wind did not blow, the rain did not fall, you did not come, I did not love.
The clothes cover a few sighs of cold eyes have seen the neon a few parting
Two o'clock in the morning the dog barking, like that night I said loudly you do not go.
2020 Funny Signature Saying phrase: If you are a little more white, I also black but you
The day did not descend on me, as usual, bitter my mind, labor my muscles and bones
The examination and the little three are the same, are destroying the harmony of the family
I can walk into the elevator frankly only you and I
In this summer to me never give up on only the Mosquitoes
Whether you go to work or not, the unit is there, unchanged
Girls can't be too skinny, or Cupid can't help you
The night won't treat those who go to bed late, and it'll give you dark circles
I don't want to have a dog or a cat, but I want to have you, and I want to be rich from raising pigs after all
I'm going to take the Tang Dynasty Monk as my husband, and I will have a lot of fun with him if I can.
I've been watching the shooting star for a long time, but I forgot to make a wish
Nowadays, dogs are so good that they can even pretend to be human beings, right?
You're acting with me, and I'm returning the favor
I'm willing to be your loyal audience, and watch you play hard to get from start to finish
People with dirty mouths are usually covering up their inner integrity
People need to have a temper, so that they can grow up
I don't want to show my love for each other because I'm afraid of dying fast
Smell the malice in my eyes?
I'll keep on liking you until I get a perfect score in English
Every time I think of you, the picture is a mosaic
I can't find you in Baidu, so I have to go to Sogou
I'm going to see if I can make it in Sogou
I'm going to see if I can make it in China, but I'm not going to pay the tolls to see if I can make it in China
I'm not sure if I'm going to make it in China or not, but I'm going to see if I can make it in China, but I'm going to see if I can make it in China. Let others be jealous
God gave you a pair of wings, they should be red-hot
Cucumbers must be shot, life must be high
If there is a duck pear, put it in the freezer, it will turn into a frozen pear
Fools don't say fools are fools, and bad guys don't say bad guys are bad
Since you don't look for me to talk to me, my Internet speed is much faster
I've eaten more fans
I've eaten more fans than you have in Sina
A brother for life, you're the only one who will win the battle
The person you dream about in your dreams, you should sleep with him when you wake up
Don't talk to me about terms unless you're mine
If you were a little bit whiter, I wouldn't be able to beat you
No more wandering around the world, the place where you're from is your home
There is a kind of spirit that is not in me.