Chinese wedding etiquette habits, three days of marriage, the bride will have to bring a lot of gifts with the groom to go home, also known as three days "back to the door".
This is a Chinese folk ritual. The bride's parents attach great importance to the ritual of three days back to the door, is a major event for the bride's whole family, so the new bride three days back to the door, to have a good preparation in the gift, and strive to give the father-in-law a good impression.
The return gift should be prepared in advance, the gift must be the bride's parents like things, the return gift to buy fashionable gifts. Back to the bride's home must be between 10 o'clock to the bride's home, the bride and groom should first greet the old man, the groom should change his name to Mom and Dad, treating family, friends and neighbors should also show cordiality and enthusiasm.
In the family meal, the bride and groom to sit on one side, toast to thank everyone for their blessing of the wedding. After the meal, do not rush home, to accompany the parents to talk for a while or with the family to engage in some recreational activities, around 4 o'clock in the afternoon before the sun goes down to welcome the sun home, but also to invite the elderly and siblings to their own home guests.
2. Wedding back to the door banquet process details back to the door to bring what to wear what have to pay attention to
(a) pre-preparation
10:30 minutes, the sound engineer to choose its tracks to create a scene atmosphere. 10:50 minutes, the chief of the arrangements to welcome the guests. Both parents wear corsages, newcomers wear flowers, important guests wear VIP flowers. 11:16 minutes, the return banquet ceremony officially began. (According to the arrival of guests to determine the final start time.)
(B) opening
1. 9 bells ringing (accompanied by a live band)
Lighting requirements: to be the first bells ringing, the field lights are turned off one after another, the computer lights swaying, smoke, bubbles and a number of.
2. When the bell rings, the electro-acoustic band music is strong. Music style: suitable for the male host on the music, and both parents on the field and the newcomer on the field of music is different, the field lights come on one after another.
Host: from the audience walked across the red carpet to the center of the stage. (Lighting requirements: a beam of chasing light fixed; band requirements: to be the host of the self-introduction, the sound of the background music played.)
(C) the ceremony began
1, opening remarks
The host made a brief self-introduction and then took over: "Today is a good day, xx building is decorated with lights and colorful, joyful, all guests and friends to give up Sunday entertainment and relaxation time, come to participate in the x-fu: love son-in-law xx, love daughter xx yuan back to the door feast, first of all, please allow me to On behalf of xfu, x's parents to all of you to express (the) warmest welcome and (the) most heartfelt thanks! Now I announce: x House love son-in-law xxx, love daughter xxx back to the door feast appreciation will officially begin "! (Music)
2, the introduction of the new couple and the parents of the new couple
First of all: I solemnly introduce the VIP guests attending our today's event are xxxx. well, next A. Let's warmly applaud and invite Mr. and Mrs. xx to walk across the red carpet (music) B. Again, let's warmly applaud and invite the in-laws of the xx house, who have also traveled a long way from Taiyuan, Shanxi Province, to come here to the xx house of the xx house. Mr. and Mrs. Xi make their appearance. (Music)
3, the new parents speech
Next, let us use the warmest applause to invite today's 2 protagonists - the bridegroom: xxx, the bride: xxx shiny debut. (Music). xx month xx day, in xxx place, xxx and xxx two new couples held a grand wedding ceremony ceremony, today, these two new couples with their parents stood on the podium, in order to express to all guests and friends over the years to Mr. Chen Kai's whole family of care and love, specially planned this party. First of all, I would like to invite Mr. Chen Kai, who is the father-in-law of Tarzan, to make a speech. Please invite Mr. Xi Gong Gong from xx (address) to make a speech.
4, the new couple make a wish
Please stand in front of the wishing tree, the new couple to both parents and all the care, support of the elders and friends to make your best wishes to them. Please stand in front of the wishing ball and make your best wishes to yourself. (All lights will be cut off, only the wishing ball will be flashing, and only the newlyweds will be cut by the chasing light.) Please press the new couple to symbolize the eternal love of "handprint mud".
5, *** into the lunch
Please both parents on stage with the new couple together to all the guests three bows. (One bow, then bow, three bows). The ceremony is over. Thank all the guests. Please **** into the lunch.
3. The bride back to the door of the woman what people to pick up
The bride back to the door of what sayings and preaching, and some of what look like back to the door of the etiquette, together to see it.
In accordance with Chinese marriage customs and habits, three days after the wedding, the bride will have to return to the bride's home with the groom, also known as the "door". This is an essential ritual, with questions, such as double back to the door, back to the door to wear what problems, to see the following introduction! Nowadays, the wedding, the ceremony for the return door has become more and more indifferent, especially in big cities.
Because now the children after the wedding, parents still often see and children, and there are a lot of children after marriage and parents live together, so there is no like before, married daughter a year may only see one or two times the face of the situation. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on some of the most popular products and services in the world, and you'll be able to do it all in one place.
But although we all think so, but most of the new people still need to be busy or splash a little bit of this program, to complete the ceremony.
The return gift notes: 1. The bride's family is very important in the heart of the old man back to the door, so the groom beforehand, whether it is from the mind or in the gift should be prepared, and strive to give the parents-in-law to leave a pleasant good impression. 2. 2. Gifts prepared in advance, buy the bride's family favorite gifts, gifts generally have four.
Back to the door generally in the morning at nine or ten o'clock to move. The bride and groom should participate in the wedding as seriously grooming, dress up, keep the wedding that beautiful, handsome image.
3. home, the bride and groom should first greet the elderly. At this point, the groom should change his mouth, as with the bride called his parents-in-law as father, mother, to call a natural, cordial, treating family, friends and neighbors should also show cordiality and warmth, courteous and polite, to see people first greetings, treat each other with courtesy.
4. The bride should accompany the groom, one by one, parents, relatives, friends and neighbors toast, thank you for the blessing of their wedding. After the meal, do not rush home, should accompany the parents to chat a little longer, listen to their teachings, and then take leave to go home.
And should take the initiative to invite the two old people and siblings to their own home as guests, but also to invite friends, relatives and neighbors. Nowadays, the return door is not the same as the original, so now there are several ways to return the door, as long as there are four kinds I. Before noon on the day of the wedding back to the door.
1. Now most of the couples are choosing to go back to the door before 12 o'clock at noon, so that the advantage is that you can put the afternoon location time, make-up time, wedding preparation time to empty out, of course, the disadvantage is that the morning schedule will be more rushed.
2. If the bride's home and the wedding room is not very far away, it is recommended to use this way back to the door.
In the morning, as long as you control the time, noon at 11:30 or so back to the door can be.
3. This way back to the door there is an advantage is that the noon back to the door of the banquet can be in the bride's home to get a little lively. And compared to the evening wedding time may not have time to nag with the family, noon back to the door banquet can make the bride and their family and friends to talk about their hearts, accept everyone's blessing.
And also have time to shoot the scene in the afternoon or go to the hotel in advance to take a break, early start make-up to get modeling.
(more etiquette to the edge of the good couple to understand it) two. Return to the door at the noon reception of the wedding.
1. This is relatively rare, but I have seen. That time because the woman's family is out of town, the newcomer also intends to do only one wedding in Nanjing, so it is arranged in the morning to welcome the bride at the end of the hotel at noon banquet back to the door of the ceremony.
2. In fact, the ceremony is also very simple, that is, before the meal, the bride and groom to the parents of the woman into the wine, change the mouth, and then the bride's parents gave a red envelope, even if it is back to the door.
I think this is more suitable for them, do not need to so-called rules, to toss their own very tired.
3. This way of returning home, because it is not to go to the woman's home, so it does not feel very formal, I do not recommend that the new people in the same place to adopt this way of returning home. But if you happen to be like this situation, you can consider, this kind of back to the door is still very save, and do not run around again to spend money.
Three. The afternoon of the wedding day back to the door.
1. This way back to the door, my family said a lot, but I myself have not encountered this program back to the door.
This way back to the door is to welcome the bride in the morning after the end of the wedding, in the wedding room to rest for a while, to arrange for the noon reception of friends and relatives of the banquet; and then the new people mean a little bit, seize the time to eat, let the groom's parents to entertain the guests, himself and the bride can set off to the bride's home back to the door.
2. In fact, this is a good way back to the door, more suitable for the bride's home and the wedding house is far away from the new couple. So you don't have to schedule the morning very tightly, and the time and ceremony can be relatively longer.
3. The advantage of this way back to the door is that the morning time is relatively generous, the disadvantage is that the afternoon scene is likely to be canceled.
But I think we can consider the return door, capture some of the scene, for example, if the environment of the neighborhood is more beautiful, you can capture some of the scene in the neighborhood; for example, the road through what small parks, plazas, city walls, and even the downtown area, you can shoot the scene, not necessarily have to have a flower or a grass is called a scene.
Four. The first day of the wedding is the third day back to the door.
1. I don't know much about this, but my family told me that if you don't go back to the door on the day of the wedding, you have to go back to the door on the third day of the wedding. This way of returning to the door is relatively more casual, and by the way, you can also go to rub a meal, huh?
2. This way back to the door is more suitable for the wedding day arrangements more compact newcomers, if the bride's home and the wedding room is farther away, the wedding hotel is farther away from the new room, and the afternoon to shoot the scene of the newcomers, it is recommended to return to the door on the third day of the better, or the wedding day is too much to rush, too tired, but also affect the mood.
And if the family in the two places of the new couple, also consider this way, after all, back to the door of the etiquette or the need for it.
4. Married three days back to the door how to count
The old old unified algorithm, the day of the wedding in the past is also counted as a day, if the wedding on the 2nd, the 4th back to the door.
But now some places, not so count, the day of the wedding does not count, the 2nd wedding, the 5th back to the door, in the middle of the three full days. That's because the custom in most places is the death of a family member, the dead must be in the 3rd day of the funeral. This is the same number of days as the wedding back to the door, sounds and feels bad, a bit of collision. So the new people to avoid not celebrating, are changed to 3 full days, in fact, the 4th day back to the door . The second day of marriage, the 5th back to the door.
Most of the places are so the implementation, however, or to local customs, you'd better ask the old man at home, and local customs can be the same.
Hope to adopt
5. back to the door what to pay attention to marriage back to the door what matters
back to the door is also known as "return to the Ning", that is, "back to the mother's home".
Back to the door taboo is also mostly about the bride's taboos, but refers to the bride in the bride's home taboos. Around Henan, in addition to the above-mentioned taboos on the 15th of the first month to return to the bride's home to see the lights, but also taboos stove, the first day of the first month to return to the bride's home.
Because the female does not sacrifice stove, so the stove day is not called the girl back to her mother's home. The first day of the first month is the beginning of the year, married out of the girl out of the water, married to the husband's family is the husband's family.
At the beginning of the year, the family reunion, naturally, it is inconvenient to go back to the mother's home. The 15th day of the first month is also the first full moon of the year, fear of the daughter-in-law back to the mother's family will not be reunited.
So it is generally the second day of the first month back to the bride's home, the sixteenth day of the first month back to the bride's home. In order to take care of both sides of the marriage reunion celebration.
Luyi County, there is a "sixteen on the first day of the month please (daughter), February 2 to send, a lifetime of not sick," the proverb. Zhejiang and other places, the old taboo bride back to the door on the winter solstice.
Otherwise, it is thought that the husband's parents will die. Proverb: "Nyonya live a winter, the husband's family to a public."
Jiangsu also has this custom.
Shaan Beijin said, "I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this, but I think it's a good idea for me to do it.
The custom of returning to the mother's home on June 6 in the northern Shaanxi area is said to be to contact the feelings between in-laws, when the mother's home to invite the daughter and son-in-law back to the reunion. The custom also exists in Henan, however, it is associated with the season of harvesting wheat and playing field.
The rhyme goes: "After harvesting wheat, playing the field, who's daughter does not see her mother. If the daughter doesn't visit her mother, she'll die if not for her father-in-law."
Back to the door when the day of the taboo, is to let the bride to comply with the order of exchanges, should not go back to the door must not go back to the door, otherwise there will be bad things happen; the door back to the door, must go back to the door, or else, there will also be bad things happen. Generally three days after the wedding, the bride and groom to return to the door to visit the two old, but that night must return to the husband's home before sunset, because the newlyweds can not empty the new room.
The Linxian area of Henan, the bride three days back to the door to go along the road to welcome the bride, the so-called "three days do not walk two roads. Yi bride back to the door when the taboo on the road and the groom to talk to, the two like strangers like passers-by.
This is not down with the custom of the husband's home. Han Chinese back to the door when the two mouths are always kissing, talking and laughing.
The folk have "back to the mother's home" of the popular ditty. The gifts brought by the newlyweds are in pairs, avoiding the singular.
The bride's family can not be accepted in full, to return to the husband's home, but also to bring back a part. Some brides, influenced by superstitious thinking, until 120 days (four months) after the return to the peace, and some three years later to go home.
In some parts of Zhejiang, there are women's lives committed the so-called "broken family", such women, not at home on the sedan chair, the marriage by the male family to pick up the female out of the door, women wearing rags, dressed as a beggar look like a temple in the dress on the sedan chair, so-called "borrowed marriage", the female family! Parents and relatives must be hidden, all by the husband's family care. One hundred and twenty days after the wedding, before you can return to peace.
Otherwise, the mother's family will be ruined or suffer misfortune. There is also the so-called fate of the crime of "leave the hole" (husband and wife separated) and "back to Lu" (by the fire), are four months, or even three years before they can go home.
Generally speaking, after a month of marriage, in-laws can freely communicate with each other. The bride can stay at her mother's house when she returns home.
The number of days to live is quite delicate. Some areas of Henan have a few days to go to live a few days of custom.
The proverbial cloud: "eight to eight, two hair", "nine to nine, two have". That is to say, the eighth day of the return of Ning can live in the mother's home for eight days, the ninth day of the return of Ning can live in the mother's home for nine days.
In this way, the maximum number of days is to live a pair of months. If you live in this way, it is auspicious for both the male and female families, otherwise it is not good.
However, there is also a taboo on living eight days, so-called: "live seven do not live eight, live eight poor mother's home." The formation of this taboo is generally out of the marriage out of the girl is not easy to live in the mother's home more than the ideological considerations.
There are emotional restrictions, moral constraints, but also economic pressures and production needs, is a variety of factors contributed to this customary agreement. If the bridegroom and the bride return to their mother's home together, there are different taboos regarding their accommodation in the mother's home.
Among both Han and Manchu there is the custom of the newlyweds returning to their mother's home to avoid sharing the same room. The Manchus allow the master to live in the west kang, other guests are not allowed to live in the west kang.
But the girl and the master can not live together, it is said that the newlyweds in the bride's home room will make the bride's family decline. This is also a result of the notion that the sexual act is unclean and would be blasphemous.
Folk often think that, between men and women, the woman is always at a disadvantage. For this reason, there is always a little bit of repression in the psychological aspect of the female family.
Besides, the mother's family, the mother-in-law's family does not belong to a lineage, how can the mother's family indoor for the mother-in-law's family to provide a place to pass on? If you are really pregnant in your mother's home, you will not bring your mother's family's "power" and "wealth" to your mother-in-law's home. The mother's family will surely decline as a result. So it is absolutely forbidden for the two children in the mother's home in the same room, which is this custom under the ideological concept.
However, the same in the Han, there are many places where it is not taboo to the newlyweds in the mother's home in the same bed **** pillow. Sometimes, these two very different customs will coexist in the same county, for example, in Henan Linxian these two customs exist at the same time.
After the bride returned to the door, the identity has changed, is the person of the family, and therefore, the mother's family also often "to prevent her". Oroqen married daughter back to her mother's home, taboo brush pot.
Otherwise, the mother's family's fortune will be brushed away by her. Xiuwu County, Henan Province has a similar taboo.
Local folk taboo out of the girl touch, take the mother's spoon and fire pole. It is said that "touching the spoon is not dead father-in-law, dead mother-in-law", "take the fire pillar is not dead father-in-law, dead son-in-law".
It is also taboo to take the mother's knife, scissors, taboo to catch the mother's dog and so on. Said: "I'm afraid that in the future to cut the relationship between the mother's family, bite off the road."
In short, it is the birth of a hundred laws to prevent the girl from getting married and then use or take away the things of the mother's family, if you get married and then take the things of the mother's family, and as a result of verbal disputes, disputes, it will inevitably affect the relationship between men and women of the two families, but, after all, it is not a good way to strictly prevent, how can we consciously let her not to take it? So with "dead father-in-law", "dead son-in-law" curse to scare her, to warn. The bride to return to the peace, avoid the in-laws encountered in the unhappy things to the mother's family to listen to, and avoid returning to the mother-in-law's home, and then the mother's home without regard to the importance of the matter to the in-laws to listen to.
This "learning tongue" results often cause trouble, affecting the relationship between men and women, the new woman will also fall a "rap mother" reputation. Therefore, there is a proverb that says, "If you are a daughter-in-law, you can't be a daughter-in-law, you can't be a daughter-in-law, you can't be a daughter-in-law, you can't be a daughter-in-law, you can't be a daughter-in-law.
This is in the bride to deal with both men and women.
6. Wedding back door feast how to do How to do a good wedding back door feast
Back door feast how to do
First of all, let's understand what is called back door. The first thing you need to know is what it means to be married. That is, after the marriage of three, six, seven, nine, ten days or full moon, son-in-law with gifts, with the bride to return to her mother's home, visit his wife's parents and relatives. This is the last ceremony of the marriage.
Back to the door feast theme
Back to the door feast, also known as the thanks feast, and therefore must reflect the "thanks". But "thank" who, how to "thank", but also according to the changes of the times, different. In ancient times, people had more respect for heaven and earth, so the proportion of thanking God in the return banquet was very important. Nowadays, the thanks in the return banquet are mainly for the bride's parents and guests. Although it is not difficult for a daughter to see her mom and dad after she gets married, the gratitude and love for her parents is not less than in ancient times.
Back to the door feast time
As far as time is concerned, Chen Yanxi July 19 wedding 22 back to the door feast, Lin Xinru July 31 wedding August 2 back to the door feast, are very standard three days after the wedding. However, Shen Teng's wedding 12 days after the wedding is not in the above time, is not it wrong?
In fact, now for the time of the return banquet requirements and not as strict as the ancient rituals, can be in the required time to do of course the best, if you do not want to be too rushed, in a month or so to complete the same, of course, there are also some because of the work factors or are too far apart, more than a month to do the return banquet is also there. As long as the new couple and both parents (especially the bride's parents) consensus on it.
What guests should be invited to the return banquet?
Because the homecoming banquet is the first time a married daughter goes back to her mother's home, of course, the first choice must be to invite the bride's mother's family elders and friends. Of course, if there are some friends and relatives because of time, distance and other relations, there is no way to attend your wedding, you can also invite them to come to your homecoming banquet.
Return banquet style
Because it is a Chinese wedding tradition, many couples will choose a Chinese style return banquet. Shen Teng's return banquet also includes a panda from the bride's hometown of Sichuan, which is creative and heartfelt. But if your wedding is a Chinese style, it is best to choose the Western style of the return banquet. So a Chinese and a Western more reflect the difference beauty.
In addition, the wedding, in order to take care of the views of the elders of both sides, many brides will cut their own wedding dreams to achieve a perfect wedding, so the return banquet, you can also choose the bride's favorite style to make up for her little regret.
Back to the door feast dress
Because the formal wedding has been done, so back to the door feast dress code is not as easy as the wedding. Although Lin Xinru still prepared three sets of return banquet dresses, but if you are afraid of trouble, just prepare a simple dress is also possible. There is also the fact that the return banquet can really put away those big tail wedding dresses, simple dresses, cheongsams and so on can be.
Back to the door feast process
Seriously, now in the dowager see back to the door feast process a lot is written in the process of the wedding, so it leads to a lot of newcomers is now the wedding, back to the door feast can not tell the difference between the silly. In fact, we just need to remember what is back to the door banquet can not have the process, which is the need to highlight the process, on the line.
The return banquet does not need these processes: the exchange of tokens, cups of wine, worship and so on. Because these processes are symbolized by a lifelong commitment, the wedding has been completed, there is no need to repeat here.
The return banquet can have these processes: champagne ceremony, cake ceremony, kissing, small games and other festive and lively content can be reflected in the return ceremony again. Of course, if you wish to be in the interesting point, you can choose some more lively opening, such as singing love songs.
In addition, has got the wedding video of the new couple, it is best to play your wedding video on the return banquet, on the one hand, you can show love, more importantly, can let the friends who did not participate in your wedding have a feel of your once-in-a-lifetime feast.
Ancient people believe that the end of the return banquet, the wedding is officially completed. From then on, two people, and even two families are truly united. Some people say, everyone is so busy, back to the door feast or save it. But life sometimes does need more rituals to teach us to honor the beauty of being respected, loved and cared for!