Wang: Some people often say that she is fat
Ou: What do you mean? She is not fat at all
Tian: She is more plump
Guests: Thank you
Ou: I've seen even fatter
Wang: This is not comforting, but rubbing salt into the wounds
Ou: It's true, so let's try to put it in a different way.
Wang: people are not fat it's very fat
A certain episode of the program invited a number of advertising stars, one of the Taiwanese girl's hair looks a little curly burst of feeling, it just so happens that Ou Di also has similar curly hair, he helplessly said: "you can tell just by looking at our hair, there are a lot of thunderstorms in the Taiwan area!"
Female guest: "I only like Erkang."
Ou Di: "But I'm not Er Kang, my ears are not healthy at all."
Ou Di with a sword: I see it I get hungry.
Wang Han: Why?
Ordy: I was wondering how much meat it could wear!
Wang Han: Dear viewers, hello, you are now tuned in to see your favorite Turbo, ahem, ahem, day ...... Tian Tian Xiang Shang.
Wang Han: Dear viewers Hello, you are now tuned in to see your favorite Turbo, cough cough, day ...... every day up.
Ou Di: With 20 years of experience in hosting the gold medal host Wang Han actually got stuck on his own program, big brother, you're going to be deducted for this episode.
Wang Han: I'll wait and ask the director to cut it out.
Ou Di: Cutting it will cost more, the lights, props, and the stage will have to be redone, and that will cost a lot of money.
Qian Feng (picking up the pieces of paper on the ground): Especially this ribbon, look at the top of the spray so much gold dust, very expensive.
Qian Feng: I guess we won't be able to get any money for this installment.
Wang Han: Then don't cut it, let's work a little harder this installment and add back the money we deducted....... Ou Di, you dance first and add some money.
Ou Di: big brother you said a word wrong deducted five hundred dollars, I dance once only twenty dollars, you just talk about the wrong so much, is not it want me to die of exhaustion.
Wang Han: You can add as much as you want, I'll figure out the rest myself.
Ou Di: Then let's all dance together, I'll do the demonstration in the front, and you follow along. Han, your old man should not jump,
If you jump wrongly, we will have to stick money to the director for this installment. The remaining five people together will just add a hundred dollars.
Wang Han: Miracle ah, Ou Di life for the first time to calculate the right two-digit multiplication. 20 x 5 = 100.
Tian Yuan: brother, you're wrong, Ou Di is so calculated, the 20 split into 2 and 0, first with 2 multiplied by 5 to get ten, and then add a more 0. Can not be fully counted two-digit multiplication, do not believe that, you test him one other try.
Wang Han (quickly): 30 times 8 is how much?
Ou Di: (loudly) 210.
Tian Yuan: What is 3 times 8?
Ou Di: 21.
Tian Yuan: 3 times 7 equals what?
Ou Di: (Puffing and laughing) 21.
Wang Han: The others are "no matter what", but Wu Di is "no matter what".
Qian Feng: To be more precise, it should be "Ou Di is 21 regardless of whether it is 37 or 38".
Wang Han: Ou Di, you actually miscalculated on the program, when the program is over, copy the three seven twenty-one fifty times and give it to the director, otherwise, be careful of the director to open you up.
Ou Di (scratching his earlobe with one hand): director, I'm wrong, kids, I'm wrong.
Qian Feng: Then Ou Di, you dance to apologize to the audience.
Wang Han: Ou Di what kind of dance are you going to do?
Ou Di: I'll perform a parody.
Wang Han: Who will you imitate?
Ou Di: imitating an idol I admire very much, Chow Yun-Fat, Fat Brother.
Wang Han: You are too far from him, what can you imitate him?
Ou Di: I'll sing a song, just that very famous "Shanghai Tang", when I was in high school it was very popular an adapted version. Wait a minute, you guys help me with the accompaniment.
Wang Han: OK, everybody back up a little bit. Stand by.
Ou Di (wearing a black trench coat and sunglasses, with his fingers in the shape of a gun)
Music.
Ou Di: "Run naked ~"
Wang Han and others: "Stomp, stomp, stomp."
Ou Di: "Run naked ~"
Wang Han and others: "Stomp, stomp, stomp"
Ou Di (very intoxicated and continued to sing):
Everyone came out to watch the fun
On the streets and in the alleys
Men, women, and children fainted all over the place
(with original lyrics:
Wave run~ Wave flow~
Ten thousand li
The river never stops
The world's affairs
mixed into a torrent of a tide )
The back of the laughter down a large number of, Wang Han: stop stop stop, Ou Di do not sing, you continue to sing, our program will be cut by the Broadcasting Authority directly.
Qian Feng: Ou Di, you sang this in high school? Taiwan's high school students are just too talented.
Wang Han: What's the name of this song, why haven't I heard it before?
Ou Di: Shanghai Tang Naked Run
Tian Yuan: What would happen if you went to Shanghai Tang Naked Run? Or, what would happen if you sang "Shanghai Tang Naked Run" in Shanghai Tang?
Qian Feng: He will be shot by Fat. (Fingers in the shape of a gun aimed at Odie) Bang~, 'hoo~', (blow on index and middle fingers).
Wang Han: Why does Ou Di always pull down our show? Let's skip this cheap shot ~ next we're going to introduce the guests of this episode.
Qian Feng: They are the talented Kham Kong Ming, the jade-like Pan An, the pear blossom pressed by the begonia, beauty and wisdom, incomparable power, boundless magic power
Ou Di: They are the embodiment of heroes and chivalry, sleazy but not sleazy, sexy but not revolting, cute but elegant, beautiful but quiet
Tian Yuan: In order to maintain the peace of the world, in order to prevent the the earth from being destroyed, they traveled to every corner of the earth, who are they?
Wang Han, they are from ......
Wang Han: Raise your hand if you ever wanted to be a police officer when you were a kid. (Ou Di, Qian Feng raised his hand)
Wang Han: Tian Yuan why don't you want to be a policeman?
Tian Yuan: When I was a kid, I was obsessed with martial arts novels, and I wanted to be a warrior in the jianghu, to fight for justice, to rob the rich and help the poor.
Ou Di: robbing the rich and giving to the poor, that is not to be a thief? No wonder you're looking so thievish now.
Wang Han: Qian Feng wants to be that kind of police?
Qian Feng: sniper, top-shooter, shooting kind.
Wang Han: Then why didn't he become one?
Tian Yuan: Qian Feng's head is too big, all of a sudden the enemy's head.
Wang Han: Then how come you didn't take it as Ou Di?
Tian Yuan: Ou Di is not good at math, Ou Di said, report sir, the three teams are all present, each pair of eight people, the total **** is three eight twenty-one people.
Wang Han: Ou Di, what is the real reason?
Ou Di: not tall enough
Qian Feng: when the police height seems not so strict, it seems almost 1 meter 7 can be.
Ou Di: Yes, but the same results, they according to the height from high to low record, my turn is just out of places.
Tian Yuan: I can testify to this.
Wang Han: and it's none of your business, what do you want to testify ah?
Ou Di: You didn't take the test with me, how do you know?
Tian Yuan: Once, Odie and I participated in a speed dating activity, because there are more people, the organizer said, "Everyone keep order, do not mess up, men according to height from high to low in line, to keep order ah ~ the result, the girls on the stage, from high to low down the pick, the turn of the Odie, the following has been no one.
Ou Di: so Tian Yuan married his current wife, I still look like this.
Wang Han: What is this look like.
Ou Di: This is what it looks like.
Wang Han: (seriously) Ou Di, don't worry, I can understand, this is wrapped up in big brother.
Ou Di: Han, what do you want. Although I know you may be interested in me, I don't want to marry a man. Even more so, I don't want to marry an old man.
Wang Han (pointing to a girl on the guest table, who is wearing a cake dress and holding flowers): Cake girl, come up, give you a chance.
(Note: Cake Girl is a professional actress) hugs Odie, then shakes hands with Wang Han.
Wang Han: Introduce yourself.
Cake Girl: Hello everyone, my name is xxx, from xx province xx place
Wang Han: Do you like Odie.
Cake girl: like.
Wang Han: How long have you liked him
Cake Girl: Since the first day of Tian Tian Xiang Shang.
Tian Yuan: love at first sight Oh, dear viewers, this is the Tian Tian Xiang Shang marriage agency, you are watching a wonderful program prepared by Wang Han, China's first matchmaker.
Wang Han: What do you want to say to Ou Di?
Cake girl kneeling on one knee, offering flowers: Ou Di, you marry me ......
Ou Di kneeling on both knees: such a big gift do not dare to be, do not dare to be ~ (Cake girl also kneeling on both knees)
Wang Han: the two people listen to the command, a worship of heaven and earth... ...
Ou Di (pointing to the flowers): What is this?
Cake Girl: A bunch of greens surrounded by a rose.
Wang Han: Any special meaning?
Cake Girl: I was only going to send a rose, but then there happened to be a grocery shopper in front of the TV station, so I bought it to decorate.
Wang Han: Ou Di, big brother to say a fair word, to marry a wife should be married so handy, and so virtuous.
Ou Di: This green vegetable seems to be a little bit not fresh ah.
Wang Han: The air conditioning in the studio is too cold and it has shrunk.
Ou Di: This is a very special flower, thank you, I'll take it first. I'll take it first. Good boy, get up first (two people stood up) (Assistant came on stage and took the flowers)
Wang Han: Assistant, send the flowers to the kitchen, and add dishes tonight. Han:Next, we want to have some passion~~
Audience:Oh~~~(uptempo)
Han:It's just a quarrel~~
Audience:Oh~~~(downtempo)
Han:I find your mentality so interesting .... (-_-! It's not even you who brought it out...)
Ou Di:You are a brute, no principles, you .... You have no thought,no feeling woman!
Kequn:You roll~~(continue orchid finger)
Ou Di rolled back after, said: I rolled.
Ordie rolled back and said: "I rolled.
Kequn: I ....
Ordy rolled back for the second time and said: I rolled again. How is it?
Kequn:It says (staring at the board) I'm never going to talk to you again! But you rolled it so well, I kind of want to talk to you. ......
Han:Actually, their school is also very powerful, out of four celebrities ..... Piggy! Luo Zhixiang! Ou Di! Ou Han-sheng! (Han is really great, two people can make it four!)
Another installment of the program:Ou Di:Our school really has produced a lot of celebrities ah! The first, Ou Hansheng; the second, Ou Di; the third, Ou Xiaodi; the fourth, I personally I ..... (more powerful, can put one person positive into four people)
Han brother said to the audience on the stage jumping space step: you this is also called space step?
Tian Yuan: This is called "too horrible", right? Space step is too wrong ....
$Han: We can't lose! Happily ...... We're bound to lose today .... (Laughs...)
$Guest:Sheep must have a good diet.
Han:So the sheep in your area are eating Chinese herbs, drinking pure water, and pulling out six flavors of dihuang pills! The sheep are directly into the medicine...
Han: How many sheep do you produce a year?
Guest: more than 30,000 head.
Tian Yuan: Is there an endless supply of lamb kebabs? (exclaimed)
Han: Tian Yuan, let's look beyond the horizon....
Ou Di: Yes, listen to Han! What about the lamb's loin?
Han:Roasted whole sheep ！！！！
Ou Di:Then we have to shave down the wool first, make it into sweaters and sell it, then roast ..... The whole sheep!
$The insistence of the Tiantian Brothers is: never united! Tian Tian Brothers after a very messy dance .... Han:Dozens of people can make a dance feel like one person dancing again, that's awesome! But a few people can make a dance feel like dozens of people dancing again, that's even more awesome!
$Han curiously asked the foreign guest (female): Why is it called ~~~ in your country?
Guest ((((((()))))))) translation:She said she was not sure, she asked: then why China is called China?
Han answered solemnly:Because in the past our ancestors wrongly believed that our country was the center of the world, so we called it China. But! We now also know that in the future our country will definitely become the center of the world, so we are still called China! (At that time when I heard Han say this I really wanted to shout: great!)
Ou Di to the beautiful MM:So do you mind a long not too tall and also a little black boy as your boyfriend? (Ugh! That's what he said the most... It's obvious that it's talking about himself!)
Han:Dear viewers! You are now watching is still your favorite: large etiquette public morality entertainment talk show (recently seems to be the whole of the prefix of fifty words) (said together): TBU Tian Tian Xiang Shang!
Qian Feng: Huh? He has bang in his name, so he is called bang bang! Then Ou Di is called Ou Zi, Han is called Han Zi, Hao Ming is called Ming Zi, Tian Yuan is called Yuan Zi ......
Tian Yuan:Then you will be called Crazy (Feng) Zi!
Qian Feng:I just moved a stone and hit my own foot hard ....
Haoji:Happy! Happy! I'm so happy! (Said while still doing that classic move.)
Hoji: I like to drink water, and pure water; I like to drink milk, and pure milk; so ....... I'm pure oh!
MM:Suppose he is handsome!
Han:What if? That hurts. He would have been handsome in the first place!
MM:Oh! What if he was already handsome.
The Daily Brothers:No way! You have to give him a good compliment!
MM:Uh ~~~~~ suppose ..... If ..... Suppose .... Just assume .......
The Daily Brothers:Forget it! Don't give her a hard time...
Ou Di:I'm not good at math because I don't think there's much use in learning it! So what are the areas where you can use math?
Han: Math is used in many ways. For example, nowadays high technology: Shenzhou spacecraft launch, rocket launch, and TV ah .....
Ou Di: huh?
Han:You see the numbers on the remote control of the TV? Doesn't that use math?
Ordy:Oh! That's right. What about the rocket launch?
Han:Didn't you see a voice shouting: 5.4.3.2.1 Launch on that live TV? That's where the math comes in!
Ou Di:I'm warning you seriously! I'm five-foot-two.
When I'm in a bad mood, I go to watch Tian Tian Xiang Shang, really like it, if you also like Tian Tian, that means you have a vision,; if you don't understand Tian Tian, then hurry to see thia! I believe that you will like it... Oh... See this line to know! I think Ou Di is so talented and funny, hehehehehehe ...... Take a picture of him in style!
Han: I am the limit of human beings, you are the bottom line of human beings!
Ou Di broadcast: audience friends! Here is the commercial time, go away right now, don't come back! (The original version is: come back right away, don't go away!) (Talking about Han's beard) Han: I am the brother of Tarzan of the Apes ..... People are too good!
Ou Di:Wow! Qian Feng, are you out of your mind?
Tian Yuan:Don't say that, the prerequisite for a sick brain is a brain.
Ou Di: Then he has no brain!
(Play rock-paper-scissors, Han explained to come out of the cloth, only Ou Di Han out of the scissors) Ou Di: how only I obedient ah? The first time I saw him, I was so happy to see him, but I didn't want to see him!
Han: Where is it? I'm also a cloth, but I'm two feet, you're five feet...
Ou Di:Huh? Five feet! You're the one who's shameless. .....
Han:You can even hear this!
(Han is going to lower his waist) Group up:Ah! Han don't... You are old bones! Han insists on getting down... Odie: Han. Han. Don't do it! Don't you ........ Don't don't do it ah!
Of course, Han went down to his waist, and it was down to his front.... Ou Di said it is the lower stomach
To play that couple scene, from the audience to choose the actors, Han brother pointed to a male audience and said: ugh! That boy in the red vest!
The boy is very Happy to stand up, Han came to a: that wear red vest boys you do not come up ..... (Then Han's head turned to the other side to call a girl) Han: do not look at her youngest, but she is the highest taste in their group! Because...the host she looks up to the most is me!
Ou Di: But, Han, what's the connection?
Han:It's just that she said it's a bit old. -_-! That's why she'll choose to marry Odie when she marries.
Han:So guess what model they are?
A certain viewer:Demon (waist model)! Han:Wow! You are the Monkey King reincarnated right? Fire-eyed golden spirit ah .
Han:She is a lip model, we applaud her to perform different lips. First, the stubborn lips...the cute lips (female model performance), the angry lips...
Ou Di: another rabbit lips ~ (hard!)
Ou Di:Wow! Qian Feng learns ostrich so wonderfully! It's such a shame to let him be human...