The sadistic and tearful love, always make people feel entangled, but such love is often happen, the following is the relevant information I organized for you about, for your reference!
Part 1: Tears like rain: Jun Sheng I have not been born, I was born Jun has been old
Junsheng and I first met fifteen years ago in a suffocating night of wind and snow.
I was an orphan, and it was Junsheng who adopted me.
Before I was six years old, I had a happy family, my mother and father doted on me, and at that time, I was just like a petite little princess, but all of this came to an end in a sudden car accident. I lost both parents, I became a poor orphan.
The children in the orphanage were always so sympathetic and sorry. I lived with a group of orphans who were just as poor and humble as I. Everything we had in the way of material things, was donated by kind-hearted people, so the 'moms' in the orphanage always taught us that we should know how to be grateful.
I, too, remembered y that phrase, to be grateful.
A six-year-old child, after experiencing such a painful parting, as if growing up overnight, I know a lot.
I was a precocious child, always have been. In the orphanage, I no longer have the old dainty and savage style, but with the little friends and harmonious **** to live, my lovely gesture often attracted the 'mothers' to laugh, they all love me very much. I have no more pretty little dress, no more cute dolls, no more dreamy little bedroom, there is, just for the future of the confusion.
I thought I would always live in an orphanage, but there was one person who changed my life. He turned the black and white of my world into prosperity, and the decay of my world into magic.
He is, Junsheng.
And I, to this day, remember the scene of my first encounter with Junsheng.
The sky was cold, and the snow was drifting.
I was wearing a worn-out jacket squatting on the cracked ground, my hands were already red and swollen, but I was looking up at the snowflakes flying in the sky. Snowflakes such as willow flakes, like goose feathers ...... sprinkled in the cold air cyclone, upright pines have long been wearing a snowy white clothes. Far away, near, a piece of ice and snow breath ...... around the silence, silent.
In the past, my parents will always accompany me to pile up snowmen, snowball fights, and this year, everything is turned into a bubble.
The hazy snowy night, light and shadow displacement, a dark brown figure gradually and clearly into my eyes, he smiled gently at me, his hand wrapped around my hands as cold as ice, he whispered to me, "Come home with me."
That year, I was seven years old and Junsheng was thirty-two.
I didn't think Junsheng was a bad person in the slightest, and the 'moms' in the orphanage were all y relieved to learn that I was going to be adopted by a good person. One 'mom' squatted down and wrapped her arms around me, her eyes overflowing as she said to me, "Be good, okay? You're happy."
Yes, I am happy, compared to most of the children in the orphanage, I am indeed happy. Junsheng's care for me is no less than my parents' care for me, he has given me the affection that I have not felt for a long time, and he is a good person.
Junsheng spent most of his time with me because, as he was a little-known painter, his place of work was the home where he and I ****ed together. After his wife died of an illness, he had no thoughts of getting married, and he told me that he was a close friend of my father's, and he didn't want to see his friend's only daughter unfortunate, so he adopted me.
No matter what his reasons were, I was grateful to him, at least, he gave me a warm home.
After many years, Junsheng left me, and in my midnight dreams, I would remember my first acquaintance with him.
Junsheng, the man who was destined to be with me for life, let me call him uncle, I called him sweetly every time, and he always smiled slightly, the corners of his eyes showed faint laugh lines.
My name is Weisheng. This is since he adopted me, to help me change the name, but also because of this name, I did not less by the classmates joke. However, Junsheng said that after he was born, I was not yet born, and he was called Junsheng, so I should be called Weisheng. I often sit in a wicker chair, looking at the starry night chewing on the name, sometimes feel that he was teasing me, but after thinking about it, I think the name has another layer of meaning.
You're not born yet, but you're already old.
On this day, I ran home from school in tears. Junsheng saw me stumbling appearance, lightly embraced me, wiping my flood of tears, busy coaxing me, asked me the reason. I just stayed in his arms and cried, taking in the warmth of his embrace. At that time, I felt that my whole world is Junsheng for me to support.
My grief was due to the fact that the parent-teacher conference was approaching, and my classmates were mocking me for being a fatherless mongrel, so the grief of aggression was transformed into a shocking cry. But Junsheng gave me affection, Junsheng gave me warmth, what am I not satisfied?
Late in the fall, I sat on the swing, Junsheng behind me to help me swing. The blue sky, the floating clouds, the autumn wind, the falling leaves fluttering, I joyfully laughed.
The higher the swing went, the louder our laughter grew.
"Wisheng, I don't want you to do much in the future, I just want you to live happily ever after." Junsheng's flat words reached my ears and I answered with a big smile.
Junsheng, I want to create a piece of splendor that belongs only to me, for you and for myself.
I was raised extremely well by Junsheng, and I, too, rewarded Junsheng's love for me with my excellent grades. When I took first prize in the National English Listening Competition, Junsheng watched me on the podium from afar, and the glow of relief and joy that emerged from the bottom of his eyes made my heart flow. I smiled broadly and ran quickly toward him, flinging myself into his wide-open arms. Junsheng, I try to be an outstanding person, I try to make myself live up to your expectations.
At the beginning of the night, I sat with Junsheng on a small wicker chair in the garden, viewing the hazy moonlit night. The moonlight poured down like running water, and the shadows of Junsheng and me were reflected on the ground, one small and one large.
"Junsheng, look! This one is me, and that one is you." I pointed at the two dark shadows on the ground and said cheerfully to Junsheng, then covered my mouth and squinted sheepishly at Junsheng. I have grown up a lot and I don't like to call Junsheng uncle anymore, but usually I always call him that sweetly, and now, I let my mouth slip.
Really, Junsheng looked at me with feigned anger and reached out to pat my head, "How can you call uncle by his name! Don't change your mouth yet!"
"Yes yes yes." I spit out my tongue mischievously and sweetly called up, "Uncle."
Junsheng smiled, the fine lines at the corners of his eyes became more and more obvious, he gently inserted a brightly colored begonia into my hair, I smiled like a flower.
That year, I was fifteen years old, Junsheng forty years old.
A year's worth of time has passed quietly, sixteen-year-old me has no shortage of suitors, daily received love letters I have thrown into the trash can. Because, in my eyes, only Junsheng, the rest of the people, I do not want to deep friendship.
I was doing my homework in the study, and Junsheng walked in silently, frowning and looking at the broken papers in the trash can, and asked me, "Weisheng, how come the daily trash cans are piled up so full?"
"Oh, that." I turned my head and pointed to the trash can with my pen, and said unconcernedly, "Love letters, I tore them up, so I threw them in the trash can."
Junsheng did not blame me at all, but laughed, "Weisheng's charm is great, so many suitors at such a young age."
I muttered in dissatisfaction, "Bored to death, are you laughing at me?"
"No." Junsheng sat across from me and looked at me with a serious look, "Even if this brings you distress and annoys you, you must be firm in your beliefs and not let a momentary distress confuse you."
I agreed with my mouth full of nonsense.
It was almost time for the monthly exams, and it was late at night when I finished my homework and was ready to go to sleep, when Junsheng pushed the door open to hand me a cup of hot milk, "This is soothing, good dreams!"
I held the hot milk in my hands and looked at his back as he turned away, a strange feeling rising in my heart.
"Junsheng, Junsheng ......" I murmured softly as I looked at the hot milk in my glass.
I thought Junsheng and I would always live together in peace, until the arrival of that woman broke the original peace, the storm, is coming.
After school, just entering the entrance hall, I saw a pair of red leather high-heeled shoes, that is only adult *** people wear shoes, and Junsheng, is absolutely not buy me so not in line with my age high-heeled shoes. I suddenly understood what, slightly stunned for a while, a little flinch, raised his eyes, a beautiful woman is smiling at me friendly, my body can not restrain a light tremor.
The woman is a radio host, I recognize her, her knitted brows and smile are so elegant and beautiful, maybe she is about to become my aunt, but I can not accept.
Junsheng saw how lost I was and came over to me, pulling me along, so I reluctantly smiled at them and ran into my bedroom, slamming the door loudly and gasping for breath.
Junsheng's sigh came faintly from outside the door.
For several days in a row, at the dinner table, there was always that woman. Junsheng's gentle smile no longer belongs to me alone, at the moment, he is in awe of that woman.
My heart is so blocked that I can't tell you how annoyed I am. Hastily picking up a few mouthfuls of rice, I went back to my bedroom.
I walked in this side of the dreamy aesthetic world, slightly tilted my head, gently caressing the purple wind chimes hanging at the view window, the wind blew, rippled up a beautiful arc, melodious and pleasant *** in my ears for a long time to reverberate ......
Purple, belongs to the color of the dream. Junsheng said that I am a girl who loves to dream, so he personally designed a dreamy bedroom for me.
However, he did not know that the dream that accompanied me for ten years, in the end, how gorgeous and colorful.
The seemingly calm exterior hides a frantic heart, and to this day, my mind still echoes with the look of that woman smiling at Junsheng.
So beautiful, like poppies, let a person sink.
I can't accept Junsheng marrying that woman.
After the woman left, my hidden anger burst out in Junsheng's questioning voice.
"Junsheng, you don't want me!" I cried childishly.
Junsheng wrapped his arms around me, and in my ears was a deep sigh, "I didn't not want you, I've always treated you like my own biological child, how could I not want you."
"No, you just don't want me!" I remained unrelenting, crying in aggravation, "When you marry that woman and you have your own child, you will leave me alone ......"
Junsheng reached out and stroked away the hot tears from my face, those eyes full of helplessness and guilt. "Wisheng, I'm not young anymore, I can't not give my parents an explanation."
"No! I don't care! You can't marry her! I don't like that woman, I don't like her!" I struggled and screamed frantically.
Later, Junsheng's marriage with that woman was not settled.
I am such a selfish person.
After that incident, I became more and more sensitive.
I don't know what happened to me, I started to become sentimental, sometimes sad, sometimes happy. But Junsheng was as good to me as ever, because, as always, he was a tolerant and kind and good person. He is a very good person.
On my eighteenth birthday, it was Junsheng who accompanied me. Under the dim and hazy candlelight, his face, which had gone through many vicissitudes of life, looked at me warmly and softly, and the warm smile in his dark eyes swept away the gloom inside me.
I drank some wine, my thoughts began to become confused, rubbing my drowsy head slightly squinted squinting at Junsheng.
He looked at me like this, took a wet towel and wiped it on my face, and said helplessly, "I told you earlier, don't drink so much, now, it's hard."
"I'm happy to ......" I muttered vaguely. Perhaps it was the alcohol at work, but the loss kept coming up inside me, along with a smothering sentimentality.
I reached out my hand, gently caressing the no longer young face in front of me, Junsheng did not have the slightest idea of what was going on in my mind, until, my face was getting closer and closer to his, until, my lips gently grazed his lips ...... He jerked back, looking at me with a look that I could not read. Like shock, but not.
I played dumb, grinning dully at him, my eyes glistening with water, like a delirious person.
I knew that he could do nothing about it if I was this stupid.
The next day, I stayed out all day, until the middle of the night I fumbled to get home, send me home is a young man I met in the bar, his name is Qin Mo, I laughed at him, "Why don't I just call you the piano devil."
"Okay, then you don't mind if I call you Hygiene?" Qin Mo also sneered back.
He and I have been fighting for wine, wine more and more drink, my consciousness is very fuzzy ...... headache, very painful, a thought of Junsheng, more explosive pain swept.
I was poisoned, hit Junsheng's poison. This poison is called: Acacia poison.
How can I have such dirty thoughts about Junsheng? I forgot what my 'mom' taught me in the orphanage: to be grateful.
Checking out of the bar, there are very few pedestrians on the road, under the quiet night wind, my consciousness is very weak, Qin Mo assisted me, I leaned on Qin Mo's shoulder, tilted his head back and breathed heavily, wanting to be swept away by the despair inside.
Back home, Junsheng saw an unfamiliar man hugging me intimately, his face was a bit ugly, I smiled radiantly at him.
But Junsheng did not say anything, not even a word of scolding me are not willing to give me charity.
Qin Mo became a close friend of my life, he let me try a different kind of life, he took me to play stupid pig jump, he took me to karaoke, he took me in and out of the bar ...... he let me experience the life of ***, however, every time after playing freely, I still in their own small side of the world in self-hatred.
Purple wind chimes gently shaking, bursts of 'ting ting ......" music melodious, I was lost in thought looking at it, through it, hazy purple light, I saw Jun Sheng downstairs, he is bending down to take care of the flowers and grasses in the garden, wandering back and forth, his The back of the mature and ethereal ...... my tears, unconsciously slowly flow down.
I finally understand,
There is a kind of thought in the world,
It can not be described in words,
Bold and sad.
The sound of the wind chime is haunting,
and what is waiting for is,
obsession.
As in the moonlight of the begonias,
a touch of faint smile,
laughing at the end of the prosperity,
the moonlight is like a wash;
laughing at the end of the world,
the flowers bloomed all over the garden.
Who is the gently trembling begonia,
Unchanged for ages under your clear light;
Who has the burning passionate eyes,
Climbing up in your nodding head.
Distant sorrows,
Through the ice and snow.
Even if the cold under the moonlight,
won't melt,
the warmth of the heart;
even if the wind in the sea of flowers,
doesn't blow away,
the persistent back.
You were under the moon,
Coming quietly,
Going quietly.
When I was twenty years old, I still ushered in my aunt. It was a gentle and gentle Jiangnan woman, treating me very well, however, I always face her with a cold face.
She snatched Junsheng, snatched Junsheng who guarded me for half a lifetime.
And at this time, Qin Mo confessed to me.
I don't know what merits I have in me, I don't know why Qin Mo would look at me, but I rejected him without hesitation.
"Wisheng, you are so heartless." After he said this, he walked away without looking back. For many days afterward, I never saw Qin Mo.
Am I heartless? No! I'm a passionate person.
"Wisheng, you should find a boyfriend." Junsheng said to me with a sideways glance as I sat in the living room watching TV.
I smiled bitterly, "So impatient to kick me out, you used to say you wouldn't not want me, so it was all lies. Oh yes, I almost forgot about your new wife, I'm afraid that the aunt sees me as a bad person and is in a hurry to drive me away."
"Weisheng! You shouldn't say that, Qingruo doesn't treat you badly." Junsheng's voice got louder, in the past he always spoke softly to me, and now, since that aunt entered the house, he always defends her. What I hate the most is the aunt's weak and incompetent appearance, with a face that is pathetic and specializes in seducing men.
"You always protect her now, you don't want me!" My aggression, my bitterness, who can understand.
Junsheng dumbly opened his lips, but did not say anything.
I packed up my things, aggrieved inside, ruthless.
In the end, I chose to leave this home, the home I had lived in for thirteen years.
I didn't have a single family member, I was so lonely. The darkness of the night buried me, and there was only endless sorrow in my heart. I walked in a muddle on the sidewalk, the sycamore tree leaves have gradually yellowed, blowing down, swirling with the wind ...... My figure is thin and powerless, swaying in the Xi Xi autumn wind, tears lost my heart, without any courage and energy, I collapsed, is Junsheng picked me up, will bring me back to that home again.
The first person I saw when I opened my eyes was Junsheng. His clothes are a little wrinkled, his eyes are also vaguely bloodshot, that overflowed with anxiety and concern, staring at me nervously, seeing me awake, released with a surprise smile.
He, actually guarded me all night.
"Junsheng, you picked me up again." I braced myself, my arms and legs a little weak.
"Yes, if I don't pick you back up, how can I face your parents." He laughed and didn't blame me for calling him by his first name anymore.
Parents? I narrowed my eyes slightly as those two words faded in my memory, and now he brought back memories of my childhood when my parents cared for me in every way possible. I wasn't a godforsaken child after all, Junsheng, he wouldn't throw me away.
But as soon as I saw my aunt's churlish face, the pleasure in my heart was instantly doused.
"Weisheng, come and eat." Aunt pushed open the door of the room and approached me, not caring about my cold eyes, and greeted me warmly. But it was because of this greeting that I felt, I became a guest.
I didn't move a step, staring at my aunt, whose face was turning white, and who was trembling as if she was afraid.
Junsheng saw that the atmosphere was frozen, and quickly played a laugh.
The meal was tasteless.
Stealthily noticing the sight of Junsheng and his aunt, I couldn't help but feel sad, in Junsheng's heart, I must be less than my aunt.
I still remember before Junsheng married his aunt, I threw my fists at him and cut his suit with scissors, as if I was suffering from a lover's betrayal.
Now, I'm a lot more silent, and I know how to hold back.
Day by day, the days passed, flat, boring.
I don't know if it's just me, but I realized that Junsheng's body is not as good as it used to be.
At this time, I stood with him on the wide balcony, looking up at the busy starry sky, sighing that life is short, life is small.
"Junsheng, you say, what is the true meaning of life?" I looked at Junsheng beside me, he was extremely well maintained, and at forty-five years old looked only like he was in his early thirties. Under the moonlight, however, the fine lines on his face were also faintly visible.
Junsheng froze slightly after hearing my question, before saying, "I believe that the true meaning of life is to be able to be happy with the people closest to you forever."
"Junsheng, the closest person, am I?" I looked at him expectantly, trying to get the answer I wanted.
However, Junsheng avoided my gaze, "The person I call my dearest relative can be a parent, a child, or a partner. I have always treated you as my own biological child, of course you are my dearest person."
This answer is a bit far-fetched, but I am satisfied.
The sky was full of stars, and I, engulfed in it, was small and humble.
I looked at the side of the upright figure, how much I want to say to him: "Junsheng, I love you ah, Junsheng ......" Only unfortunately, I do not have the courage.
A burst of violent coughing interrupted my flying thoughts, I hastened to help Junsheng, sitting on the rattan chair, worried to help him smooth the air. He covered his mouth with his hand and bent his body to keep coughing, avoiding my gaze.
"Junsheng, what's wrong?" I had an ominous premonition, and a strong fear rose up inside me.
For many days, Junsheng had been coughing painfully every day; he must be sick, and very sick.
"It's late, go to bed." Junsheng still covered his mouth and nose with his hand, and with his other hand he pushed and shoved me to keep me away.
In the darkness of the night, with the moonlight reflecting off of it, I could clearly see the blood flowing between his fingers.
"Junsheng, what's wrong with you? What's wrong with you?" My eyes widened in fear and I anxiously stepped forward, my eyes glistening with tears.
He pushed me away violently, striding towards his bedroom and closing the door tightly.
I stood frozen in place, staring at the few drops of blood dripping from the floor, my heart pounding.
"Junsheng, Junsheng ......" At this moment, I was so scared. I squatted on the ground and cried out.
In my repeated questions, my aunt finally said Junsheng's condition. Junsheng, with lung cancer, is in the late stages, and his days are numbered.
He already knew that I was interested in him, and he married her just to let me die, so that I could have a better future.
Junsheng, you are always thinking about me, and I don't understand your heart.
My world, it seems that the sky is falling, the ground is sinking.
I was paralyzed on the ground, my hands holding the cold wall, my heart like a knife.
Junsheng, you are always so kind to me, and I am always angry with you. Junsheng, what else can I do for you?
My legs kept trembling, and my hands trembled as I pushed open the door to Junsheng's room, and I approached him step by step, as painfully as a little mermaid walking on a knife's edge. I lowered my head to look at his sleeping face, gently stroked on, he vicissitudes of many, his face is unhealthy pale.
Junsheng, tell me, what else can I do for you?
I recalled the moments with Junsheng.
He laughed when he helped me swing; he praised me when he taught me how to draw; he dealt with my dilemma when I had my first period; he laughed when he took me on a trip; and he was pleased when he watched me win an award....... What I can't forget most is that, when I first met him, he descended upon me as if he were a god in the sky, and put me out of my misery, giving me great love and care.
Junsheng, he sacrificed a lot for me.
Junsheng.
The bean-sized tears dripped down, moistened across his face, and the tears grew more and more, and how to wipe them could not dry. I could no longer restrain myself, lying on the side of his bed, lost his voice and cried.
A slightly cold hand stroked my hair, and his deep words came from his ears, "Weisheng, don't cry, I'm fine."
Junsheng, you are not good, you are not good at all.
I slowly raised my head, my eyes misty with tears, while Junsheng looked at me lovingly, stroking the tears from my cheeks. That pair of eyes that once shone with a wise light, no longer glowing with life, he just quietly gazed at me, the bottom of his eyes, as if there are a thousand words.
"Junsheng, you will get better, right?" I held on to his slightly cold hand, holding on to the last glimmer of hope, and asked in a trembling tone.
Junsheng was silent, and the grief in his eyes made me fall into the abyss.
Junsheng left in my arms, he left, has been calm and deep look at me, with the usual smile, in my arms fell asleep, never wake up ......
"Jun born I was not yet born, I was born Jun has been old; Jun hate I was born late, I hate Jun was born early. " On the eve of his parting, I cried and read these words. God, why do I even lose the qualification to love someone, why is my world only endless sorrow, why do you want to take away the life of the person I love so much? God, you are too cruel ......
"Junsheng, do you still remember me when we first met, you smiled at me warmly and softly?"
"Junsheng, do you remember when I was teased by my classmates for being a fatherless bastard, you brought me endless warmth?"
"Junsheng, do you remember the joy we felt when you helped me swing in the autumn wind when I was twelve?"
"Junsheng, do you still remember the year I was fifteen, when you inserted a branch of delicate begonias into my hair?"
"Junsheng, do you still remember when I pretended to be stupid and kissed you on my eighteenth birthday?"
"Junsheng, do you still remember the dream hut you built for me that belongs only to me? My dreams for the past ten years have been filled with laughter when I was with you ......"
"Junsheng, do you still remember ......"
When did I fall in love with him? Maybe it was when he brought me warmth when I was teased by my classmates for being a mongrel, maybe it was when he helped me swing in the autumn wind, or maybe it was when he inserted the begonias into my hair when I was fifteen years old ......
Junsheng has always loved to pamper me, and he has always said that I am a child who can't grow up, and now I have grown up. When I was a child, Junsheng always said he envied me, envied that I could be carefree, he told me that when I grow up, I will face many, many trials and tribulations, but I can not give up on myself, but to be firm in their own beliefs, across the layers of thorns in life, to reach the other side of the shore of success.
Junsheng, you are right, it turns out that growing up is so torturous.
Junsheng, I am a strong person, without your day, I will be very good.
"The Buddha said: five hundred times in the previous life to look back in exchange for a brush in this life. Junsheng, how many lifetimes of reincarnation should we have, how many lifetimes of entanglement ah ......"
"Weisheng, you must live a happy life ...... "
Junsheng leaned in my arms, towards me vainly smiling, vainly smiling, eyes passed away the past glory, pale hand desperately want to caress my face. I have long been in tears.
"Junsheng, in the next life, I must be your wife." I put my face close to Junsheng's face, firmly and chokingly said these words, Junsheng smiled, the corner of his mouth hung with a satisfied smile, slowly closed his eyes.
The leaves fell outside the window, and the evening sun filled the sky.
I hugged him tightly, my heart, non-stop throbbing, tearing.
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