We've been working on this for a long time, and we've been working on it for a long time.
Since the loss of Mouse and the departure of Hei Hei (the girlfriend with the beautiful ears), for half a year, I have cut off all contact with the outside world, lost my job at the firm, did not go out, did not see anyone, did not even drink alcohol, and did not talk to the cat. I didn't even drink or talk to my cat. Grief filled and lurked around me, depriving me of all strength and desire. "I spent six months in "doing nothing" trying to make sense of it all - of what was gone and why. Of course, nothing came of it.
But time really is the best restorative, and after half a year of isolation, I finally decided to get in touch with the real world, and returned to society, taking a boring job as a cultural snowplow - just writing a few words for a magazine advertisement. It was nothing more than writing a few words for magazine advertisements to show off. It's boring, and not the best choice for a job, but it's more than enough to make ends meet, and there's not a lot of new and interesting things in the world for "me" to do.
At work, I met a girl who worked at the telephone office, but after a while, she left and became a thing of the past. The first time I saw her was when she was a child, and she was a child of the family. Leaving an empty space in your heart? "Other people leave one after another, but I am the only one who stays in the prolonged transition period forever. A life that is both realistic and unrealistic."
"I" always have a dream, dreaming of the dilapidated, shabby, slender, pathetic Dolphin Hotel, dreaming that there are people there who weep for "me", dreaming that "I" and the Dolphin Hotel become one. I dreamed that "I" had become one with the Dolphin Hotel, that it was "my" place. Something was guiding me, and I knew that if I did nothing, I would not get anywhere. "I have to do something - even though the meaning and direction are not clear. And so begins a journey that seems both real and fantastical. ......
The Dolphin Hotel buried "my" precious best friend, and "I" spent more than four years trying not to touch it. I spent more than four years carefully not to touch that memory, but the pain is also, the reality must be faced. "I know this in my heart, so I booked a plane ticket to the Dolphin Hotel in Sapporo to revisit the place and capture the call of my dreams.
The Dolphin Hotel is not the same as it was when it was in disrepair, and the street scene is very different. Everything seems to be out of place for "me", a downtrodden person with decaying memories, except for the girl at the desk with glasses, whom I call "the hotel elf" in private. "The girl is beautiful, a little nervous, but "I" heart, "I" think there is some kind of common ground with her. As for the similarity, I can't say. "I wanted to talk more with the hotel elf, and even wanted to sleep with her. But even if you sleep, you can't go anywhere.
Sheep man in the cold, damp, even the air is moldy room waiting for me. The sheep man told "me", he waited for "me" here, the dolphin hotel is waiting for "me", this is "my" This is my place. This is an unrealistic world, and "I" am lost, not knowing what I am seeking in the real world, so I am swallowed up by the unrealistic world. Once completely lost, there was no way out. The goat man also told "me" to dance, to dance, to dance, and to dance with beautiful movements and to dance in a way that pleases the heart. To dance is to face up to adversity, and the goat man is the heart of "me". Despite the pain and hurt, despite the fact that the world and reality are not so beautiful, "I" still want to keep my own pace - in the more and more developed society, and the "I" has always been a good person, but the "I" has always been a good person, but the "I" has always been a good person. "I have always been a laggard.
Just jump, dance, the world will always be connected. The world will always be connected. When the switchboard is connected, the electricity will be on, and the world will run, and so will life. So I opened my hands to what came next. I met Yuki, a thirteen-year-old girl who listened to the jukebox in the 26th floor bar, reunited with my ever-so-elegant middle-school classmate, Gotanda, befriended Yuki's mother's new boyfriend, the one-armed poet Dick, and had a fabulous night of fun with Mimi, a glamorous call girl. "I, who describes himself as a mediocre, ordinary snowplow worker with no bright spots on his body, is regarded by the young girl as a "weirdo" and a silly person; he is regarded by Gotanda as a trustworthy person and one of his few friends; and Dick has a good feeling about me. I have a good feeling about Dick, when we parted, but also reluctant to part, a piece of disappointment; Mimi received "my" business card and put it in the innermost layer of the wallet, looking forward to Mimi the goat and the black bear pouncing together to clear the snow. They regarded "me" as a precious person, just as "I" also cherished them. In the end, however, Mimi was strangled to death in the hotel by a stocking; Dick was killed in a car accident on his way to the supermarket; and Gohanta drove his Maserati into the sea as he had set out to do, only to be retrieved as a corpse. How can I dance when the people who are important to me always leave me? My heart is corroding and wearing out, and the important things are disappearing, leaving me with a more and more numb and stiff shell, how can I dance wonderfully? "I have been struggling to survive, obviously like a man on the moon living on the earth as out of place, but also desperately trying to maintain a certain self, powerless to watch the precious things pass away.
On the other end of the phone, in the room full of white bones in Honolulu, Hei Hei told me that every white bone is a "me", and that the goat man or Hei Hei himself is a projection of "me".
Who is crying for "me"?
No one. Yes, no one.
There is only me. I had accumulated too many emotions from years of loss and loneliness, fear of loss, loneliness of being alone, and confusion about the meaning of existence. Many emotions were mixed together, and because of my personality, they could not be released, and "I" could not cry! So this emotion manifests itself in dreams, in the form of Goat Man and Hei Hei, and this energy needs an outlet. "We're crying for what you can't cry for." In this way, "I" was able to release the emotions that had been pent up for a long time - the decades-long emotions of a thirty-four year old man - that had never been easily revealed, but had always lurked and wrapped themselves around "I", who was a man of the world. It is a way to get rid of the emotions that have been pent up for a long time - the emotions of a thirty-four year old man for decades - that have never been easily revealed, but have always lurked and wrapped around the emotions of "me".
At thirty-four, time may have made me more capable of surviving, but at the same time it has made me more sentimental and vulnerable, prone to reminisce about past regrets and to harbor inner hopes. I can easily remember the regrets of the past, and the hope in my heart has also become stronger and stronger. The snow makes "me" see myself when I was a teenager, and "I" guard her just as I guarded myself; the optimism and bravery of the one-armed Dick is exactly what "me" lacks; the elegance and publicity of Gohouta is also a fear that "I" will not be able to survive without it. Gohanta's elegance and public attention is also what "I" once wanted to do in my heart. There was something of "me" in them, something that "I" needed, and that is why they were attracted to each other. However, what's gone is gone, and no matter how much you want to keep it, it's impossible. That's why Gotanda, Dick and Mimi have all disappeared. But for those who stayed, there was hope - Yuki seemed to have grown up a lot, and offered to go back to school and start a new life. "I have never been able to distinguish between reality and non-reality. Until this moment, only to realize, those lost, hurt, is the reality, and the reality of the remaining, are worth to cherish.
The end of the trip, as if back to the original point. It's like a journey through the world, through life and death, finally realizing the truth. Back to reality, "I" know "I" need the dolphin hotel in the hotel elf, called You Mei Ji girl, a strong need, not just with her sleep only. "I was desperate to see her, afraid that she would be the sixth white bone, afraid that she would disappear. When "I" and Yumekichi are honest with each other, kissing every inch of her skin, entering her body, I am still careful to make sure that this is reality - there is not much beauty left in reality, and "I" can no longer afford to lose it. " can no longer withstand the corrosion of loss.
The clock hand points to seven. The sunlight of a summer morning streams in through the window, tracing a slightly skewed quadrangle on the carpet. "Yumekichi, morning has come."