Later, I read a magazine, when we grow up, we will find that our mother does not know more than we do, this will not be that will not, as if it can not keep up with our pace, so how in the end is the mother to achieve our achievements. It was probably those patience and encouragement from her that made me grow up learning whatever I could quickly, doing everything well, and being confident because she never believed I could. She supported even the smallest wish.
Under my mother's cultivation, I also have a pair of eyes that are good at discovering beauty and a heart that is good at feeling good.
On the weekend in the National Youth Dream List classroom, I talked to a lot of parents and children, and each family has a different model, and it's interesting to see how children and their parents get along, and everything is traceable. Some parents are in the moment and can't pull themselves back into the moment. Some parents are fully committed to cooperating with their children to do the dream version.
When Jia Xin asked which of the children would like to share their dreams with everyone. There were a few very courageous children. I was impressed by a little boy who said my dream is to be an entomologist, saying how much he loves it. In between, I went over to talk to him and I said, "You're wonderful! Who knows, the little boy looked up at me woodenly and said, "Where's the greatness?"
I was stunned for a second, and immediately realized that my speech system was wrong, but I was squatting down to communicate with him, and I immediately added: "It's really great! It's the first time I've heard of a child's dream to be an entomologist, and it's really special. And you were so brave to say it out loud in front of everyone." After I said that, I saw him blink his eyes, and then I continued to ask him, "Have you heard of Fabre's Insects? If you love insects so much, you can read this book to go." ?
"I finished it a long time ago!" He smiled smugly and continued the project at hand. "Wow! Really? Be that good, that was a book I read after elementary school, and you've finished it now." His mother also smiled beside him, saying that he had skipped that set of books, but did read them. From the eyes you can see the mother's attention and love for the child, this mother's eyebrows seem like a friend of mine who talks about guqin, light joy, calm, looks so comfortable.
In the back of the production of the dream version, the mother is also actively involved in helping children, do a particularly good job, I saw a lot of wild animals. The group photo session, I encouraged the little boy, said you dream version so well done, want to come with me to the front ah, how about it? He thought about it for a while and ran up to the front with his dream board in his hand. One of the pictures accidentally fell off, the mom took after it and said to him very gently, "Do you want to glue it again, it's easy to fall off." So I re-glued it with the little boy with a glue stick.
The whole time to see his big smile, really super, so focused, engaged! Suddenly I thought of the flora and fauna tour in the Sri Lanka trip we just booked, so I talked to my mom and she also thought the kid is suitable for this kind of animal tour eh. In the classroom, Jia Xin mentioned that the baby in the book "Don't Call Him Baby, He's Simba the Walker", the first time he knew about elephants, was in the tropical jungle to see such a huge thing passing by, open mouth for five minutes of amazement, so the feeling of the elephants and the feeling of the elephants from the book must be very different.
It seems like we are serving the children and helping them, but we learn a lot from them every time. Adults have a language system that I sometimes feel uncomfortable with, but often choose to ignore. But children don't, and this direct expression is so valuable!
I also don't like Fan's speech, including compliments eh. When I was a kid, my mom was encouraging me with very specific things, telling me how great I was at getting dressed by myself today, writing beautifully, helping her clean the house so she could feel cool...never the kind of perfunctory Van Van that says I'm awesome! I'm not sure what I'm talking about, but I'm not sure what I'm talking about," he said.
When I mentioned this to Jiaxin the next day on the road, she shared a conversation with the little girl who was brave enough to go on stage. The girl was very small, but she took the initiative to go on stage and was super confident to share her story. Jia Xin went over to her in the middle of class and said, "Thank you, your sharing encouraged me and made me feel your determination. Do you know what firm means?" The little girl shook her head, "It means to be very strong", Jia Xin added, "Then will you be my friend?" , when Jia Xin stretched out her hand, the little girl also stretched out her hand and cracked a smile.
The adult language system is stubborn. Just a hello great, seemingly positive words, but this is still caught in a judgment, and such communication is already unequal, great, this sentence is more like a little bit of standing on the high ground looking down. So usually we give ourselves less praise and criticism and more encouragement. Praise and encouragement may seem similar, but they are very different. Praise is also a kind of judgment, and encouragement is very specific and down to earth, so the next time in you want to praise a person, might as well be a little more specific, tell him, how his behavior inspired you, so that you have what kind of touch and change, which will be promoted on both sides.
Especially with kids, don't generalize that you're awesome! This this really tends to bring out his pride, so tell him exactly what he did particularly well!
Then just this evening, a friend suddenly replied to my message. To know the first two days of activity thought of him to his message are no reply eh, I do not want to take care of him, the two days of gastrointestinal flu and cold, the body is difficult to small emotions are very obvious. I can't help but express directly: I don't want to pay attention to you. Old by you hanging out. I am frozen! No awareness of the other actually replied to me: these days Beijing is not particularly cold ah.
Well, screenshot, look at the charm of the language
Originally, it was still exasperated immediately after the end of the state of friendship, in the specific recognition of the error, and immediately turned into a sweet picture style.
Yeah, don't say I'm wrong in the future, but say exactly where I'm wrong! This method of friends, couples, family, children, leaders, partners are super effective. Because only to admit fault to the specific place, will be targeted to change, but also enough sincere!
And sincerity is the most powerful force to move people's hearts!
It so happens that we have a culture of praise in the business school, and the students who stand up in the daily good session will accept the praise of others, and then that person will give back to the students: everyone is great. Maybe I'm used to this kind of conversation pattern, some students called me throughout the whole time from time to time: Huihui you're great, you're the best. I was confused, and when I asked him what was so great about him, I couldn't even tell him. Do you want to have a conversation like this?
In the evening, I sent a friend circle to encourage myself to start the New Year's reading, and shared the book I read last year, "Microthinking", and then Xiaoyu commented to me: you are the best! I smiled and replied to her: where is the best? After a few minutes, she finally replied: try to morph into a very awesome person!
Haha the future is beautiful, we metamorphose forward together.
Next time, remember to praise less and encourage more, encourage others' behavior on their own, not to comment on his good or bad, even praise, please try to be more specific. When admitting mistakes, please be more sincere and more specific, and if you can add ways to improve, that would be great! If you try this, you'll find that you'll really be transformed, and many of your relationships will get better and better.
Thank you! I love you!