Recently, the circle of friends discussed the topic of "92-year-old crisis".
After 90, none of us want to admit that we are linked to middle age. The post-80s lamented that even the cool post-90s non-mainstream has already started a midlife crisis, and it really hurts us to feel that menopause is coming.
Generally speaking, the middle-aged crisis is when people are old or not confused, and when the expected social status and wealth have not reached their goals.
Their life is very stressful, and they want to fight again before they find that they are not young. When their ideals conflict with reality, they are anxious and confused.
But now, people born in 1992 are 256. When they are young and strong, they can still seize the opportunity. Even if you pass the UN 15 definition and reach the age of 24, you are barely middle-aged. But what kind of midlife crisis is this?
In fact, the post-90s children have already felt the pressure and burden from middle age prematurely. Anxiety about getting old, anxiety about stress and responsibility makes everyone particularly sensitive to age.
In fact, the real "92-year-old crisis" is not only something that tells us our age, but also tells us our mentality.
The mentality of a middle-aged person, a life attitude of living silently and losing interest in everything, a shackle that wants to get rid of reality but has no courage.
It's like some people are old at the age of 25;
Some people are 52 years old and still young.
02
Xiao Feng is the most indifferent among friends. In life, one second is very comfortable.
I don't know if she is teasing or open-minded. There is really no big crisis in people's lives.
As early as when we were wandering in the north, Guangzhou and Shenzhen, Xiaofeng had already got a job in his hometown. In recent years, the monthly salary is not much, but it is better than leisure and welfare.
In recent years, my hometown has developed rapidly. Xiaofeng's father seized the opportunity to sell his old house at a high price, and then set up a house of 100 square meters in a garden community in the city. A few years ago, her father recruited a son-in-law for Xiaofeng, got married and had children. Life is also a complete success.
I was with her at the beginning of the year. I haven't seen her for a long time. I almost didn't recognize this woman as her.
Wearing hair, ruddy greasy face, wide sportswear and T-shirt can't cover the "swimming ring" around the stomach. Even wearing a bra, the breasts yield to gravity, and the sagging trend is unstoppable.
She greeted me kindly with her child in her arms.
I said, are you Xiaofeng?
She looked sincere, so did I, and then smiled shyly. She made it up during pregnancy and gained a little weight. Later, she was too busy taking care of the children to lose weight or come back.
I have a good relationship with her. I pointed to the photos of them and teased her. You see, you were a little fairy at that time, and now you can go out to dance in the square dance at night.
Xiaofeng is not convinced. What happened to the square dance? Now I take time out to dance with my mother every night when I'm free. Don't make a fuss. My husband doesn't mind either.
I said, whether a woman is beautiful or not is not all about pleasing men. They are beautiful and look happy.
Xiaofeng sighed, knowing that you pay attention to women's independence in mixed cities. In fact, I sometimes regret not going out like you. Now my life is really endless, but it's useless to say anything now. My children are so old that I have no energy to take any more risks.
I sighed.
Time can always change many things. We witnessed that high-spirited teenager turned into a potbellied middle-aged uncle, a young and pure girl, and finally turned into an elderly woman with a broken mouth.
But in the final analysis, are all these changes a matter of time or age?
03
In fact, whether it is to realize dreams or struggle, it is never a matter of age, but that people are too good at adding some burdens to themselves and regard these things as reasons for submission.
What can you do when you are young, but you can't do it in middle age?
German Chancellor Angela Merkel was a doctor of chemistry before the age of 35, and began to enter politics in middle age.
I once saw a report that a 77-year-old woman started stretching every morning, and even when she was old, she danced "Absolute Beauty" on the stage.
My high school geography teacher taught until I was 35 years old. He organized a band in his spare time, performed for students at the New Year's party, participated in competitions and won prizes, and finally realized his dream of a band.
My uncle next door has been a veteran cadre of the neighborhood Committee all his life and opened his own restaurant after retirement. His wonton is authentic, affordable and delicious, but not for making money.
According to grandmothers, uncle's craft has been passed down for three generations, but later, because he became a cadre, he had no time to do it. In the past, his wife, who was still alive, loved to eat his wonton. Now he probably wants to pass on this craft. Think about it.
You see, when we are mocking and rejecting ourselves as middle-aged, those real middle-aged and elderly people are doing what they should have done when they were young, because of ideals, because of love, because of the still-burning fire in their hearts.
04
There are some people around me, born after 90, who are very young and very "aunt-like".
Gossip A woman who is married to a rich man never worries about life, and still holds a monthly salary every month. I really envy you.
Men say they can't get away from their accounts, complaining that they don't have the opportunity to expand their social circle, they don't have time to go to work at ordinary times, and they have to sleep in and play games at home on weekends.
Every day, I say that I am poor, and the house price has gone up again, and the price has gone up again, that is, my salary has not gone up, I scold my boss for being blind and ignorant of Mount Tai, and I scold my colleague who recently joined the company and was recently promoted.
In fact, when you stand still and are not interested in anything and stay at home all day, you have lived like a middle-aged man.
Everyone has pressure, and the heavy hammer given by reality is no lighter than that borne by anyone. The most important thing is what attitude you choose to face the goodwill and malice from this world.
Those who have a midlife crisis and deep resentment just don't want to dare to resist the world and integrate into real life, but they are unwilling.
Relax, no matter how others define you, you have to decide what kind of person you are.