General demeanor
Punctuality is expected. Arrive on time for all social and business functions.
Japanese people emphasize subtle emotions, so it is important not to speak loudly or show your feelings.
Too much praise can make Japanese people uncomfortable; they don't like to stand out from the crowd. Don't comment on other people's appearance. If someone gives you a compliment, politely deny it (never say "thank you").
When you walk on the street and stairs, keep to the left. However, in the stairs and corridors of a subway station, you are asked to walk on the right.
In Japanese gardens, a round stone inter*twined with grass ropes means that the area behind it is off limits.
When you enter an inn or other building, put your wet umbrella in an umbrella stand (some charge a storage fee).
If you are invited to a Japanese wedding, be prepared to give an impromptu speech advising the newlyweds on their union. Speak only positive and helpful words and avoid mentioning breakups, divorce or remarriage.
At the climax or end of the ceremony, the Japanese often raise their arms above their heads and chant "Banzai!" (literally 10,000 years, or Banzai) three times. This is similar to the Western "Three Cheers". Please follow the Japanese example. Shouting at the wrong time is extremely embarrassing.
Eating and drinking on the street is uncivilized. You should keep your nose down in front of others.
Elderly Japanese rarely give anniversary or birthday cards (although such cards are becoming increasingly common among young people). They only give seasonal cards during the summer solstice and New Year. To find the right card, go to a stationery dealer or a Japanese friend for advice.
Body Language
Japanese people prefer a certain distance between people rather than the North American way. This distance is twice the distance you would have with someone in the West. Don't touch, pat, or even hold onto any Japanese, kiss anyone in public or any other sign of intimacy (however, it's not unusual to see Japanese of the same sex walking hand in hand).
Japanese people don't just smile or laugh when they're happy, they do the same when they're apologizing, embarrassed, sad or angry. Smiling often masks nervousness, but that doesn't necessarily mean it's not something to be taken seriously.
Yawning in public is rude. If you can't help it, cover your mouth with one hand (yawning often causes Japanese women to show their teeth inappropriately, so many older Japanese women cover their mouths with their hands when they laugh).
Shaking your hand back and forth in front of your face is a negative response ("I don't understand," "I don't know," or just "no"). When you receive a compliment, politely respond with this gesture.
When a man walks in front of someone or between two people, he should bend slightly at the waist and hold his right hand in front of his face, as if to block out the air (it's like pressing your thumb against your nose).
When you sit down in a chair, sit straight with your feet on the floor. You can also cross your legs at the ankle *or* place one knee on top of the other. When women sit on the floor, they should sit with their legs bent underneath them, not crossed.
To get a waiter's attention and catch their eye, nod quickly and gently and look at them expectantly. If they don't see you, you may need to do a formal bow.
Summoning someone can be done by extending your right arm forward, dropping your wrist, palm down, and wiggling your fingers. Never use this posture with older people or people of high status, and never your index finger to summon someone.
Pointing at someone with all four fingers outstretched and your thumb held in place is an insulting gesture, often used to indicate eta-Japanese *min.
When a Japanese acquaintance extends a curved pinky finger to you, they are trying to get you to go tip-tail boating with them, a promissory gesture.
Japanese people count the fingers of one hand only; they start with the thumb, bend the fingers one by one toward the palm, and then spread them out one by one, starting with the pinky.
Clothing
Japanese dress neatly, even in informal settings. If you want to be comfortable and at ease, don't dress too casually. Adults, especially businessmen, rarely wear bright colors or exotic clothing. Only work pants (except those specially made for the occasion), suit shorts or T-shirts should be worn in crowded places.
In winter, Japanese homes and small inns are cold and drafty. Clothing indoors should include long underwear, thick socks and woolen sweaters.
If you are wearing an overcoat, take it off and drape it over your arm before you enter the room to begin your business meeting. Only wait until you leave the room to put it on.
What men wear: A dark suit and tie should be worn for business meetings. Inside fancier clubs and restaurants (especially at night), a jacket and tie may be worn. Wear night small dresses are very few. To attend a wedding, wear a dark formal suit with a black bow tie or a white or silver-white tie. For funerals, wear a black suit with a black tie.
Women's clothing: For office work, wear a dark coat or dark suit. If you are going to an upper class club or restaurant for an evening date, wear a semi-formal dress (traditional Japanese formal dinners require sitting on the floor, so don't wear a tight skirt). When attending a wedding, you may wear any color except white. White is reserved for brides. For funerals, black dresses and pants are worn, and no precious stones are worn (pearls may be worn).
National Costume: Japanese women often wear traditional kimonos on special days or festivals. Colorful kimonos are only worn by young girls. If you stay at a small Japanese inn, you may be given a cotton kimono (yukata) to wear while bathing or walking around the inn.
Temples and Sacred Sites
The two main religions in Japan are Shintoism and Buddhism. Shintoism is worshipped at sacred sites; Buddhism is worshipped at temples.
Before you enter any house at a temple or sacred site, remove your shoes, hat, and turban. Some temples provide plastic bags so that you can go in with your shoes. Leave your umbrella in the umbrella stand (some charge a storage fee).
Temples welcome visitors, but most charge an entrance fee.
Visitors are asked to sit attentively on tatami mats during Buddhist ceremonies.
Shinto shrines also welcome visitors. There is often no entrance fee. The difference between a shrine and a temple is indicated by the tall torii, which are large pillars supporting one or two interlocking beams, at the entrance to the shrine. Do not drink the water in the container next to the Torii. This water is used by visitors to wash their hands and mouths before entering the Holy Land. Do not walk through the main building of the Holy Place (Honden, or the main temple).
If you are attending a Shintoist ceremony at the Holy Grounds, you either sit on the benches used by visitors or stand. Donations are to be placed in the tank next to the exit after the ceremony.
Private gifts
Western-style gifts are especially common in Japan, including Native American artwork, local food, Western belt buckles, and T-shirts with foreign university logos (for teenagers).
Japanese people will be embarrassed by returning an equivalent gift, so don't give expensive gifts. Don't give gifts in even numbers, especially in units of 4 (the Japanese word for 4 is pronounced the same as the word for death). Sending flowers is not a good choice, as they are mostly given during courtships and funerals. Shirts and ties are equally inappropriate.
Wrapping and bundling gifts is a precise art in Japan, so gifts are wrapped according to local methods. You must ask the salesman to use the correct wrapping paper and tell them what occasion it is for.
Gifts are presented and accepted with both hands and a slight bow. Gifts are not opened in front of the giver (this delay indicates that this is a concern, regardless of the amount of the gift. At the same time, it preserves face for the giver if the gift is not in the eye of the receiver).
When someone offers you a gift, you should be polite once or twice before accepting it. The next time you meet the giver, be sure to talk about that courtesy.
Tipping
Tipping is not as common in Japan as it is in many other countries. If you're not sure, don't pay.
Inns: Inns often add a 10-20% service charge to your bill, so there's no need to tip separately unless you've received exceptional service.