B says; does he? Let me see (took the mirror), I ah! You don't recognize me?
The hospital to prevent patients from escaping outside the 100 Road, two psychiatric patients still want to escape from the hospital. In the darkness of the night efforts
over the wall. To the 30th wall,
"Tired?" ,
"Not tired." And so the pair continued to flip outwards.
To the 60th wall,
"Are you tired?"
"No." So the pair continued outward,
to the 99th wall,
"Are you tired? "
"Tired"
"Well then, let's go back over it."
One morning, a certain officer, known for his strictness, asked the morning drill sergeant: "Are you cold?"
The soldier replied, "Not cold!"
The officer was annoyed: "Then what are you shivering for?"
The soldier replied, "It's freezing!"
There was a bottle of wine buried in the ground for a thousand years, and he turned into what? ---- alcohol.
Doctor~ Quickly see me! I have amnesia!
When did you realize you had it?
What disease...?
A: What's that guy doing?
B: He's shaking.
A: Why is he shaking?
B: He's cold.
A: Oh, so he's not cold if he's shivering.
A: ......
The diver's move was so difficult that he did a spinning triple take a front flip three and a half weeks to a back flip for a month.
A man to catch the boat, wait until the shore, found that the boat has opened, the man with a 100-meter sprint speed to the box jumped to the offshore more than 3 meters away from the ferry, gasping for breath, said: God bless, finally caught up! This time the sailor said: really great, but why don't you wait for the ship to dock and then come up?
Is the blind man blind?
Customer: "Why doesn't the wine you're selling smell like wine?"
Waiter takes a sniff: "Ah, I'm so sorry, I forgot to mix the wine for you."
My brother, like to drink and drive, once, when he went home, he ran into the police in the car. In his dark call of bad luck to get out of the car to accept the inspection, the police received a phone call, holding a cell phone, gesturing, gabbing up. He saw the opportunity to take advantage of, he quietly returned to the car, while the police call is not prepared, the wind of the car back home.
By the next day, there was a knock on his door by the same policeman from yesterday. His drink now sobered up, he naturally questioned the cop with a straight face, "What are you doing here? What's the matter?"
The policeman said, "I've driven your car to the door for you, now, why don't you give me back my police car?"
The soldiers: "Thirsty ......thirsty ......"
Cao Cao: "Everyone, hold on a little longer! I've been to this place before, and I remember there's a plum forest nearby, so if we walk a little further, we might be there."
Soldiers: "Oh ￣￣￣￣ there's plums to eat! -Cao Ren: "My Lord! The expedition has found a large amount of water!"
Cao Cao: "Hahahahaha, did you hear that? There's finally water to drink."
The soldiers: "No go ...... must find Plum ......"
Why did Xiao Ming fall down?
Please think twice ........................... .....
Because the floor is slippery
A group of animals rushed into a 7-11 convenience store to buy something after a party, and because it was too noisy, the clerk beat them all out, but left the lamb alone in the store.
Convenience stores are open 24 hours ah .........
I hate two kinds of people:
One is racist;
Two is black;
Three is illiterate!
Do you know why penguins live in Antarctica?
Because it's colder there .....
A penitent came to the church,
and he said to the priest, Father, I was wrong.
The priest said, God will surely forgive you if you confess your mistake.
The penitent said, I stole a man's bicycle, and I am now going to give it to you.
The priest said: don't give it to me, give it back to the giver.
The penitent said, I have asked him, but he does not want it.
The priest said: take it then].
The priest left work and realized that his bicycle, which was parked in the backyard, was missing!
The doctor sees an old woman dressed up in a fancy dress:
Doctor: How old are you?
Woman: 18 years old
Doctor: Hmmm! ........ What you should have is amnesia
A novice goes to collect loan sharks.
He took out the loan note and said with a smile: It is clearly written in black and white that you owe me one million dollars! You're not going to be able to get away with it," he said!
He said he didn't have that much money.
He threatened: Humph! Don't blame me for not reminding you! If you can't pay the money tomorrow, your house will look like it
- He took out his lighter and burned the IOU ......
Siu Ching chatted with a psychiatrist.
Ching: How do you all diagnose patients?
Practitioner: I ask them some simple questions first, and if they hesitate I can probably tell they have a problem with their sanity.
Ching was interested: What kind of questions? Can you give me some examples?
Healer: Let's say Captain Cook traveled around the world three times, unfortunately on one of those occasions he passed away, may I ask which one?
Ching hesitated, a little embarrassed, said: I'm not too familiar with history, can you give me some other examples?
Dale signed up for the Navy and had to go through an interview.
Interviewer: young man can you swim?
Dale froze.
Dull: What's going on, don't we have enough boats in the army?
Late at night, a bus is ready to turn in after the last shift, the driver looks back and there is a lady in white, sitting in the last row. The driver continued to drive, look in the rearview mirror, the woman is gone, a huge shock ~ ~ rushed to brake sharply, look back, and sit there, the driver turned his head again to continue driving, careful to look in the rearview mirror, the woman is no longer there, a huge shock rushed to brake sharply again, look back, the woman appeared again. The driver faced a collapse, a cold sweat, turned his head and continued to drive. The third time the driver and look in the mirror, the woman and disappeared, the driver has collapsed, another emergency braking, but did not turn his head, then the woman slowly walked to his front, hair disheveled, full of blood, dripping on his feet, the driver's body has stiffened, do not dare to turn his head to look at her ~ the woman with a very low voice, said: "Lao miang and you have a grudge ah! As soon as the old lady squatted down to tie her shoes, you braked sharply, as soon as she squatted down to tie her shoes, you braked sharply.
One day A is watching TV to the wonderful place, suddenly heard knocking on the door, went to open the door but did not see people.
"Hello, can you give me some water to drink?" A then realized there was a snail at the door.
"No!" A didn't have the heart to kick the snail away.
A few years later, A was home alone again watching TV when the knock on the door came again.
A runs to the door and the snail says, "Why did you just kick me?"
Small Ming returned to the classroom after using the restroom and told the teacher:
There are a lot of ants in the restroom.
The teacher suddenly thought of the word ant in English, so she tested Small Ming: How do you say ant?
Xiaoming looked confused ....... Said:
Ant he ............ didn't say anything...
One day, a family caught fire,
Mom and dad escaped, leaving only one son still inside.
Mom was very nervous and shouted outside the house:
" Son ..... What are you doing ...... There's a fire and you're not coming out ......"
The son replied, "I'm putting on my socks .....".
The mom added, "Why are you wearing socks when there's a fire ...."
After five minutes, the son had not come out ......
Mom shouted again, "Son, what are you doing? Come out ~ it's on fire and you're still in there ....."
Son said, "I'm taking off my socks ........"
A man went to the river to fish
First he put on a leaf ~ half a day no fish on the hook, he changed to a piece of bread ~ the same half a day no fish on the hook ~
No choice but to go to earthworms ~ the same half a day no fish on the hook ~ ~
His anger ~ took out 100 rmb and fell into the water yelling:
"*-%#% What to eat! Go buy it yourself ！！！！
The Tang Monk: This time to fetch the scriptures should find a shortcut!
Wukong: It's faster to take an airplane than to ride a horse!
The Eight Preceptors: god six is faster!
The sand monk took out a gun: I heard that this plaything immediately sends people to the West.
There was a psychopath who got a pistol from somewhere, and he was walking in a small black alley. Suddenly met a young man, the psycho 2 words will be planted on the ground with a gun to his head! Asked: 1 + 1 = how many? The young man is terrified! He pondered for a long time. He replied, "What's 2? Without hesitation, the psychopath shoots him! Then dragged the gun in his arms ~ coldly said: you know too much
After he met another person, the psycho still 2 words will be planted on the ground with a gun on his head! Asked: 1+1 = how many? The young man was just as terrified! He pondered for a long time. Answer: I don't know ```The psycho didn't hesitate to shoot him! Then dragged the gun in his arms ~ coldly said: even such a simple question will not, you have no need to live
A psychiatric hospital, a patient in a letter, the nurse saw it is very curious to ask him:
Nurse: you want to write to whom a
Patient: to write to my own ah!
Nurse: What are you writing to
Patient: You're a psychopath! I have not received how to know
A policeman escorting a prisoner to prison, suddenly his hat was blown off by the wind.
"I'll go pick up your hat for you, okay?" The prisoner asked curtly.
"Do you think I'm that stupid?" The officer said, "You stand here and I'll pick it up."......
The customer had just come out of the drugstore to buy medicine when the drugstore fellow hurried after him.
Dude: I'm sorry, you asked for a tonic, I gave you poison by mistake.
Customer: Look at you, you almost got into trouble.
Man: No, the boss will surely scold me when he finds out, the poison can be twice as expensive as the tonic.
Two thugs ambushed, intending to assassinate someone, but always missing that person. One of them said, "What's wrong? No sign of him yet, I hope he doesn't have an accident!"
Desperation is the lunch cafeteria ordered two dishes, ate the first I was shocked "the world there is more difficult to eat than this dish?" I cried when I ate the second one, "There really is!
Fire brigade: where is the fire? The police: my house. Fire Department: I am asking where? Alarm: in the kitchen. Fire Brigade: I mean how do we get there? Alarmist: don't you have a fire truck?
A stuttering chemistry professor: 'A . ...A reagent... Agent... Match... Match... .B... .B... TEST... Reagent..."
Classmate: "Got it, Reagent A with Reagent B..."
Bang!!!...
Professor: "... That... That... Is it going to... Will... Explode"
A new clerk, doing everything is memorizing the mnemonic, there is an old lady bought a bottle of soy sauce, the clerk: "charge you xx yuan, find you xx yuan, may I ask you need a straw? The old lady fainted ......
Don't press down
See you later!
Peek-a-boo, huh?
Told you not to look
Still looking
Haha... Peekers according to **** and the country special criminal law sentenced you to happy weapons imprisonment, deprivation of depression for life, and confiscation of loneliness troubles, this judgment is not final, you do not have the right to appeal, instantly born laugh!
I have a good news and a bad news, which one do you want to hear first?
Tell you what! The good news is: there is no bad news!
What? What's the bad news? Of course there's no good news!
Spring and Autumn and Warring States era, you commanded the whole command, head over the pot cover, wearing sacks, waist tied plastic bags, hand holding custard pies, feet on the two cabbages, known as the East is undefeatable, the charge you shouted: "Who has a rotten bottles and cans to take out and sell
A jewelry store was stolen, when the police rushed to the scene, they found a drunken man lying there, in order to find out the jewels of the where it went, the policeman got a bucket of cold water and pressed the drunk's head into the water while asking, "Did you see those jewels?"
The drunk opened his hooded eyes and said, "I'm sorry, I can't really find them, you'd better get another diver!"
The officer walks over to the squad of recruits who are drilling and walks up to the first soldier and asks, "Answer me, soldier. What is the motherland?"
Soldier A replied, "Sir, the motherland is my mother!" Satisfied, the officer went to the second one and asked the same question: "Answer me, soldier, what is the motherland?"
Soldier B immediately answered, "Sir, the motherland is the first soldier's mother!"
An old woman could not read or write, but loved to listen to the radio, and the weather forecast was a must every day. One day at dinner she asked her family, "I have a question to ask, do you know where the localized area is? It rains almost every day there."
A person has to lean against the window no matter what kind of car they're in.
One day, about to go on a plane, got his boarding pass and told the lady he wanted one by the window, and the lady said there weren't any more.
After boarding the plane, he casually found a window seat and sat down, when suddenly a man came and said to him, "This is my seat."
He said, "I like this seat, I just won't let it!"
The man begged and pleaded to no avail, so he said angrily, "Fine then, you fly the plane!"
Turned around and left!
In the company of recruits, this day the squad leader was instructing the recruits to drill stepping.
Squad Leader: On my command, all raise your left foot.
Small Xu panicked and raised his right foot, which just happened to be a pair with the left foot of Chengcai next to him.
The squad leader saw it from the side and said angrily, "That idiot has raised both feet.
A driver who had been drinking and was about to drive home saw the cars in his mirror speeding past again and again, and thought, "No, I can't, I'm going too fast! So he was ready to slow down. But the car in his mirror was getting faster and faster. No, slow down more, he thought. So he was ready to slow down again.
Then he saw a policeman knocking on the glass of his car, and he thought, "No, I must have been driving too fast, and the policeman saw me. So he opened the car door and said apologetically, "I'm so sorry, I wasn't paying attention just now, so I drove faster again." Only to see that the policeman angrily pulled him out of the car, "Do you know that you can't just park on the road of traffic lane!
A 70-year-old woman was driving a car with three elderly people who were also mothers driving slowly on a provincial highway. A traffic cop pulls her over and says, "Auntie, you're driving so slowly, you'll affect the traffic."
The older woman driving the car said, "Doesn't that sign say 20?"
The traffic cop said, "That's highway 20!"
The driving mom says, "Whoa! Whoa! That's a highway, not a speed limit!"
The traffic cop says, "Yeah, right? Why are the other 3 moms behind you looking so bad?"
The mom driving the car replies, "We just drove down Highway 245!"
One day, China, the United States and France met, and each praised the wine produced in their own country as nearly fierce, and they were at odds with each other.
Finally, it was decided: to dunk a mouse in wine and compete.
The French brought cocktails, rushed to the rats a fierce irrigation, drinking the rats step are chaotic, two eyes hair
straight, the French smug.
The Americans brought XO, the rat only drank a few mouthfuls, they were drunk. The American laughed and
looked at his two drinking buddies with a provocative gaze.
The Chinese man's turn, he took a bottle of Erguotou, opened the cap and shook it in front of the rat,
Smelling the wine, the rat didn't see anything strange, and strutted away. Just as the French and American alcoholics
mocked the Chinese liquor for its inability to hold its liquor power, the rat came waddling back with a brick in his hand,
shouting, "Where the fuck is the cat?"
QUESTION: Why does the armored man keep digging. Answer: he's looking for Pangolin B.
Brushing the dishes without paying attention, I dropped the bowl on the floor, and luckily, luckily, it only fell off at the edge into a small gaping hole.
Then continued to brush the bowl. I didn't pay attention to my right hand and scratched through the gap ...... broke
And thought: is it really that fast? You can break your hand. Then I tried with my left hand, also broke
Thinking: indeed fast enough, this bowl if used to eat Rice mouth soon miserable? Then nc, tried with the mouth ...... lips also broke ......
Once in junior high school. A self-study. In that quiet and peaceful classroom, suddenly came from behind, "Poof!" Ground a fart sound, the crowd have turned around, a sister running to meet the crowd's attention, said: I put! Then everyone turned around. Two minutes later, there's another "pfft!" The crowd all looked directly back at the sister, who looked kindly at everyone, nodded approvingly, and said, You guessed it.
The policeman stops the speeder, pulls out the fine notice, and asks, "What's your name?"
The foreigner: "My name is Thaddeus? Rithos Tom? Dimitrios? Kelley Anjobolos..."
Police: "Forget it, don't speed again."
Police caught a man stealing lobsters on the beach, ready to be fined according to the law...
Man: What did you say? What law am I breaking?
These two lobsters are my pets and I was taking them out for a walk!
pol.office: lazy to listen to you in the nonsense!
Man: It's true, Your Honor!
They love to swim in the ocean, and when I whistle, they come back!
pol.office: I'll have to see about that...
So the man throws his two lobsters into the waves...
pol.office: Well, I'll see how you call your pet lobster back.
Man: Lobster? What lobster?
You are stranded alone on a deserted island, your cell phone has no signal, suddenly you can call, who do you call first?
China Mobile, complain to them! How come the signal is so bad!
Do you believe that there is someone who has always cared about you silently but only silently?
There are quite a few of them ...... neighborhood security, police, plainclothes, office building monitors, tens of thousands of cameras on the road ......
Previously, the wind and rain, the sound of reading, I do not make a sound.
Next line: Family matters, national affairs, world affairs, none of my business.
Crossword: Go and play.
The first line: doctoral students, graduate students, undergraduate students, raw!
Next couplet: Last term, this term, next term, unemployed!
Crossword: willing to read and serve
Upper couplet: Jinsha River, Jialing River, Heilongjiang River, Jiangjiang River can be cast!
Next line: laboratory building, teaching building, dormitory building, building building can jump!
Crossword: unprecedented
★The first line: the wind is blowing, the rain is falling, I'm waiting for you to call me back; the second line: for you to live, for you to die, for you to wait for a lifetime;
Crossword: sent to the wrong person.
★Previous couplet: look at the back of a thousand troops in a hurry;
Next couplet: turned his head to scare off millions of soldiers;
Banner code: my mother's ah
★Previous couplet: exams do not cheat in the next year to be a schoolboy;
Next couplet: rather than no personality can not not fail to pass;
Banner code: is to be passed!
★The first line: mahjong poker golden flower, go home after losing;
The second line: the old road west wind thin horse, the broken hearted people in the end of the world;
Crossword: miserable ah!
★Previous couplet: Remove the numbers one and two;
Next couplet: There are still four, five, six, seven, and nine;
Crossword: There are only three or eight left!
★The first line: If you say you can do it, you can do it if you can't;
The second line: If you say you can't, you can't do it if you can't;
Crossword: No contest.
★The first line: the person I love has a wife;
The second line: the person who loves me is miserable;
Crossword: life is bitter.
★The first line: the top presses down the layers, the horse to success;
The second line: the bottom cheats on the section of water, water to the canal;
Crossword: all happy.
A new sculpture was built in a school - a young girl holding a book in her left hand and a dove in her right hand. School leaders to the school students openly call for names. A time to respond to a stream of replies, one of the most vocal: reading top of the bird!
A principal spoke at a student's graduation ceremony. There were thousands of people sitting on the stage. The principal opened the script, solemn he said, "Students." Suddenly a gust of wind blew all the scripts to the ground.
Principal said: "My words are over
I now realize that the house slave Li Bai bought a set of rotten buildings, there is a poem for proof: the bright moonlight in front of the bed - no window; suspected that the ground is frost - the door has not been installed; raise your head to look at the moon - the roof is open; low thinking of his hometown - is very hurt.
28. We weather forecasts have to be ten minutes, the Japanese on a sentence "the country has rain"
Secondary school physics teacher lectured on friction electricity, said: we take off the sweater in winter. Sweaters will be chugging. And electric light. But the summer will not be so. Why?
Boys in the back: Because we don't wear sweaters in the summer.
10. 13 kids share 9 oranges, how do you divide them fairly? --Choke four!
6. Do you think you look good in person or in pictures? --The lights are off.
The day I took the bus, there was a stop where the driver asked, "Close the back door ah!" No one answered, so he closed the back door and started. It was a weak cry from a girl in the compartment, "Open the door!" The driver braked in annoyance, banged open the back door, and yelled, "Get off if you want to!" Car people are looking at the back door, half a day but no one down, look at each other do not know what is going on. At this time, the woman in the car TV and let out a sound: "Open the door ah!"
The white rabbit met the big bad wolf
The white rabbit said the big bad wolf big bad wolf you quickly ask me is not the white rabbit
You quickly ask ah quickly ask ah ！！！！
The big bad wolf said Are you a white rabbit?
The white rabbit was happy yes yes I am!!!!
Then
The white rabbit said again Big Bad Wolf Big Bad Wolf You ask me if I'm a giraffe
You ask, ask, ask ！！！！
The Big Bad Wolf was helpless. Are you a giraffe or not
The white rabbit slapped him on the back of the head
You idiot! I told you I was a white rabbit!
Owner: Damn barbershop cut my head! Everyone come up with something damaging and ask for the more destructive the better and the less movement the better, since I'm the one going alone.
Response: In the middle of the night, the moon is dark and the wind is high, quietly and gently, a person hanged in front of the barber store ......
Someone went to Shanghai on business and lost a dollar on the street, the police said: "We will help you find" in January after the man went back, he lost the money in the street, the police said: "We will help you find". The man went again, he lost money on the street because of road repair were dug up, he could not help but sigh "Shanghai is really" ?
A man was about to jump off a building when his wife shouted, "Don't be impulsive, dear, we still have a long way to go!"
The man whooshed and jumped after hearing this.
Afterward police told her, "You really shouldn't have threatened him like that!"
Don't get mad when your neighbor plays the piano at two o'clock in the middle of the night, wake him up at four o'clock and tell him you appreciate his playing
The other day I was driving and the speed electronic eye flashed me, but I definitely wasn't speeding, so I backed up to go through that eye at a much slower speed and it flashed again. I was puzzled and tried it again, and it did flash again, and I thought it was funny, so I tried it again at turtle speed. Then I got 5 tickets for not wearing a seatbelt.
Ming, a keen detective show watcher, was on the lookout for the killer from the first minute of the opening credits, not missing a suspicious word or an ambush.
On this day, went to see another play, called Murder on Park Street.
The curtain opened just as the waiter led him to his seat.
Waiter: "Are you satisfied with your seat? Sir."
Ming: "Of course, thank you."
Waiter: "Shall I take your hat to the checkroom?"
Ming: "No, thanks." Ming thought he should leave, but the waiter didn't.
Waiter: "Would you like a program?"
Ming: "No, thanks."
Waiter: "That comes with stills on it."
Ming: "Thanks."
Waiter: "Or a telescope?" Kotomine angrily refused.
The waiter asks again for brownies and a bottle of champagne, and the drama begins to get tense.
Ming was angry and anxious: "No, nothing, to hell with you."
The waiter finally realizes that he can't make a tip here and gives Ming a terrible revenge by reaching out and pointing at the stage and whispering in my ear in a hateful tone, "The murderer is the gardener."
The two players had been sitting motionless and silent in front of the board for five hours now. They stared at each piece with rapt attention.
Suddenly, one of the players said, "In principle, I am against talking during a game of chess, but I have to ask now: which one of us should make the next move?"
In junior high school, I was the class stylist, and for no reason whatsoever, just had a loud voice!
Then the school's annual sports meeting, will call me to be the announcer, that is, there are students to contribute, a few years a few classes of who broke the record and so on, are I in the broadcast.
That day, I do not know what to send upside down, dizzy, probably because the broadcast all day tired it!
Another student contributed, I began to the microphone, very emotionally read: look, the 100-meter final finally began, students like a wild dog off the reins ran out ......~! #￥%......-*) later seemed to hear because of this sentence, that would have been possible to take the championship, laughing on the track)
Fly family in the gusto to eat, the little fly asked his mother: "Mom, how do we only eat shit every day? "
Mom was angry: "How many times has cur told you not to talk about such disgusting things during dinner!"
The American GI dreamed that Saddam was standing next to him with his bloody mouth open. The GI asks, "What do you want?" Saddam shows his white teeth and says, "Our goal is - no cavities!"
You were hardworking, dignified and never a show-off. You were chivalrous and righteous, and never worked hard to rid the people of evil. You are everyone's friend, and even more so for your fellow farmers. If you change your delusion of wanting to eat swan meat, you are simply perfect!
The class A students fell asleep, its cell phone suddenly rang "Enlightenment Emperor, there is an unruly people to see, is to pick up or beheaded." At that moment the class was silent, and since then the class has not played the phone
Old classmates reunion, a brother drunk. This time classmates asked: what time is it? The drunken brother took out a set of keys from his pocket to look at, and then calmly said: 9:40.
On a breakup meal, the wine over three rounds, we are all red in the face. I suddenly found next to the melon brother staring blankly, staring straight at their own soup bowl, a finger desperately picking a crack on the bowl, while also chattering: this head, hair, how to get, can not get down pinch? ......
A company's boss had an accident after socializing, called a lawyer, it turned out to be held by the traffic police!
After understanding what happened, the lawyer questioned the traffic police: "My client kneeling in the middle of the road can prove that he is drunk?"
"Of course not," replied the traffic policeman, "but this gentleman kneeling in the middle of the road is going to roll up the white line painted in the middle of the road."
At the end of the year, a colleague who is usually very calm drank his eyes blood red. The leader saw the situation was not good and hurriedly asked me to send him home. But when I reached out to the cab, this colleague is dead not on the car, but instead of sitting on the road with great interest. Only to see him raise his head, very magnificent to the sky, said: "Who says the stars in the sky can't be counted, tonight I'm going to count them all out!"
I remember one time when I went to drink with my buddies, a buddy A was drunk. Everyone saw that he couldn't make it, so they let him go home first. He took a TAXI, got in through the right door, told the driver his destination, gave him ten bucks, and then got out through the left door satisfied!
With colleagues drinking, are drunk, a colleague stubborn, must ride their own bicycles home, we do not rest assured that the back to watch, the results of this buddy ride a moment down to carry the car forward a big step, and then get on the car to ride, ride a section of the car again down to carry the car across a big step, we went up to ask, what are you doing this?
The buddy: "come when well, who knows how to go back so many ditches"
We turned around and looked at the shadow of the original street lamps
There is a thief in the house of a family to steal, and suddenly from the head of the voice came a voice "God is watching you! ".
The thief was so surprised that he wanted to quit and leave, but when he turned around, he thought, "What kind of God is there?" So he continued to steal, and then there was a voice saying, "God is watching you." The thief was shocked, and when he looked around, he realized that it was a parrot that was talking to him, and so the thief and the parrot talked to each other.
The thief said, "Nice little thing! So smart, what's your name?"
The parrot said, "Xiao Qiang"
The thief said, "Haha ～～～～ how did your master give you such a funny name!"
The parrot said, "What's so rare, my master gave that Tibetan mastiff dog also named 'God'!"
The thief:".................."
Someone sprinkles you with oil and says to you: don't worry, there's oomph fully automatic, what do you do? - - hits him with kidney loss, says to him "Don't worry, there's the Six Flavors of the Earth Pill, for kidney loss, no sugar."
Traffic Safety During the Traffic Safety Week in Johor, Malaysia, the Department of Transportation posted
the following placard at some road junctions:
"When you drive your car, if you keep the speed at about 30 kilometers per hour, you can enjoy the
beautiful scenery along the way; if the speed is more than 50 kilometers per hour, please go to the courtroom for a visit; if the speed is more than 80 kilometers per hour, please go to the doctor
. 80 kilometers, please stay at the medical
hospital; over 100 kilometers, please rest in peace.
There are only two things in my life that I can't do: I can't do this and I can't do that
A naughty schoolboy was reading a comic book in a comic book store when suddenly a middle-aged mother shouted down the street: "Xiao
Ming, you're a brat, you don't want to go home, you're still fooling around, you're a dead man if you're caught by your mother. The student dropped his comic
drawing and ran away.... He ran about 50 meters and said, "Why did I run away? Why did I run away?
I'm not Ming."
A: I'm not a Ming," he said, "I'm not a Ming."
A: I'm not a Ming," he said. A: inner beauty and outer beauty ...... B: ............
Now you scold me, because you do not understand me, when you understand me later, you will definitely hit me! .
Exam cheating, work together, to copy the main mon for store, copy the combination of mon to ensure that the level of the grid, such as snitching, violence in the next class, violence does not work, pull to shoot
A student tossed a coin into the air: "Heads face up to go to the movies, tails face up to go to play billiards, if the coin stood up, then the fucking go to study. "