1
Some time ago, a tearful video caused widespread concern on the Internet. A 38-year-old mother kissed her baby who had just had a full moon and immersed herself in the happiness of being a new mother for several hours. Later, my mother died of a heart attack.
A few days later, another pair of twin mothers gave birth to two babies by caesarean section and died of massive bleeding.
Such reports jump into our sight from time to time, which makes people afraid. When I gave birth to Dabao, I also had tachycardia because of the heavy heart load. After that adventure, my mother once said to me: when a woman gives birth to a child, she goes to the gate of hell. Don't think this is a simple matter.
As a woman, she is physically responsible for pregnancy. Because of this universality, we acquiesce that this is a universal thing. However, if you think about it carefully, what are women experiencing while expecting a little life-
It may be that the seams are fully open but no children can be born, and they are struggling with a glimmer of hope. Eventually, their bodies are overdrawn and they have to go to cesarean section;
May be mastitis attack, high fever above 39 degrees, unconsciousness, thinking about how to solve the problem of children's rations;
It may be that the postpartum hormone level is unbalanced, it is easy to be sad and irritable, and the family relationship is tense, but the other half can't give relief;
May experience a variety of physical pain, knife-edge pain, bone deformation, induced heart disease, hypertension, hyperglycemia, moon disease. ...
On the other hand, a man may just pat a woman on the back and say to her: You have worked hard. Even some men, even refusing to make this gesture, are still haggling over every ounce: which woman doesn't have children? Why are you the only one who has a lot to do?
2
Xiaoling's husband is such a man.
When we first got married, Xiaoling and I discussed having a child and vowed to spoil NianLia. But after having a child, he showed the ability of "father's love is like a mountain" and did not move.
Just out of the month, Xiaoling looks after the baby at home alone. After a day, she had a backache and wanted her husband to give her a hand.
As a result, he was lying on the sofa with his mobile phone and said, look at you, a kid who is only ten kilograms. Your weight is ten times that of him. What bones and meat are you tired of?
If it is just a joke at ordinary times, but after a busy day, she is very harsh when she hears this. She thought that even when she was in love, even when her bag was light when she was shopping, her husband took the initiative to help.
Now, he is either playing mobile phone or watching the baby while playing online games. Just a few months old baby sat on his father's lap, staring at the computer screen, dancing and flashing his eyes.
Xiaoling's heart seems to be filled with cold and hard stones, so that she can't see the road ahead.
She also tried to communicate with her husband, but he said that I was too tired from work. Can I go home and rest? Look, the baby doesn't have to go to work! Still think I don't care about you?
Besides, you are such a big man and a mother. Do you still need to coax like a child? Can you grow up!
What makes Xiaoling desperate most is that a few months later, she felt as if she had postpartum depression, often unhappy and often felt that life was hopeless. When her husband heard this, he was overjoyed: Go, go, you really believe in the melodramatic disease fabricated by experts!
three
A long time ago, Xiaoling's wish was to work hard with her husband, for the children and for a bright future. No matter how hard and tired we are, we all depend on each other. No matter how painful and difficult it is, our hearts are full of light.
Today, this expectation is difficult to achieve.
Because Xiaoling's husband finally saw it-"the melodramatic disease fabricated by experts." Xiaoling was finally diagnosed with postpartum depression, so she had to take medicine continuously and the child was weaned early.
Before giving birth to a child, she was like Zhu Shazhi to him. After giving birth to the baby, she became the dregs of his clothes.
Perhaps a sigh of relief at that time, a sentence "I understand your difficulty", was enough to resist all repression. I'm scared when I'm scared. He let you face all the difficulties and challenges alone. When you are tired, when you complain, he still thinks you are melodramatic.
I feel horrible. At that time, when we agreed to face together, work together and take responsibility together, I suddenly found that there was only one person left. After that, everything is as beautiful as a hug in a difficult time. Once moved and affectionate, all shattered in this lonely decisive battle.
Yes, most women will willingly choose to have children, and feel happy and satisfied for it. However, men, don't acquiesce that we have no responsibility just because we are full of expectations and joy for our children, okay?
four
There is a phenomenon in psychology called "love silence". It means that after marriage, many men and women feel that their love story seems to have been finished when they are in love, and the rest is to take each other's efforts for granted and take each other's fatigue for granted.
So when a woman is pregnant and gives birth to a baby, some men will feel normal and don't need to be grateful. The truth is that behind all the laws of nature, there must be one party willing to pay silently; Behind all the courses is the indifference and selfishness of the other party.
If these are not grateful, we can't enhance our feelings. What's the point of getting married?
Last week, I met my best friend Xiaolan and her husband. Xiaolan was obviously angry with him for a little thing and left without waiting for him. I'm a little worried and want to remind her husband. I didn't expect him to say that she and her children were bored at home and I had to coax them. Talk to you next time!
Seeing this man leave in a hurry, my heart failed. You are considerate and supportive of your wife in front of and behind people. No matter when and where, you understand her mood, tolerate her little temper, and love her who is not perfect but has been growing and always accompanying you. Isn't that the most precious and cherished memory of each other?
five
Recently, photos taken by a Russian photographer for an old couple spread all over the Internet. Every silver hair and every wrinkle is full of sweetness. Such love, time is helpless to her, because she is not afraid of anything.
I look forward to seeing us at their age, holding hands and staring at each other. The scenes left by the years are printed in each other's eyes. I hope there will be more mutual support and comfort, not a desolate chicken feather.
When you are in trouble, you can see the true meaning of love. In confinement and maternity leave, the most common thing is to see if a man really understands love, understanding and responsibility.
When women work hard, you don't understand, don't understand, don't care, and don't support; Then when she was alone in the dark night, tears washed away her weakness and gave up hope for you, and the marriage was only made up with life.
Marriage is mutual understanding. I am willing to bear this unbearable pain and hardship for our love, and you are also willing to bend over to accompany me to support and share our love.
At the moment when she was exhausted from her busy life, seeing that you have been supporting her behind her and giving her confidence and strength may be a woman's greatest happiness and a man's greatest achievement!