Couples have a hurdle, across the past is a lifetime
The first channel: the first two years after marriage, this period is called the bonding period
This period of bonding is the contrast between the pre-wedding and post-wedding. A lot of newlyweds, to say that their conflicts are actually very small, what the husband does not like to wash his feet, so that the quilt is stinky. Wife tube heaven and earth, and a tigress, these small things their feeling is that he is on purpose, he just do not love, he is not on, he can not change.
So many people are prone to anxiety in this period, afraid of living with such a person for the rest of his life, but what to do? Then it produces regret to choose the wrong person, another person may be better. Or, in the first place, if I was with my ex or with that person, it may be fine, these ideas do not help you to rub it in, but only further damage your relationship.
To get through this, you have to have the right perception of marriage, which is that it is littered with flaws. If you can't accept a person's bad, you must not enjoy his good, without this perception of anyone will be bad.
The second hurdle: before and after pregnancy, we call it the period of acceptance
This period is the test of the integration of the two families, this time in addition to the children at home, there are grandparents, grandparents may be involved in your life.
This period of family relations will become much more complex, before you just need to care about each other. If there was a conflict, the two of you would just argue, or give a hug and you would be fine. But now there are several more people all at once, and when you argue, who is or isn't looking out for who, it can intensify the conflict.
Let alone bringing up children, you want to bring up this way, he wants to bring up that way, then this kind of time you will be especially easy to feel that I can not get into. The fact is that the majority of the people in the world are not in the same boat, but they are in the same boat, and they are in the same boat. Many new moms even say, "How could I give birth to a child to such a person?
Then this time you want to get through this hurdle, you have to establish the correct family ordering, no matter who is in the family, couples must put each other first, only then you can **** with this hurdle through.
The third hurdle: children before college, which is called the period of stability
In this period of time to test is your management wisdom, the child went to school after the family's life will be centered around the child school vacation special class began to turn, the child's time is fixed, the things that can be done can also be fixed. Then your life will start to be routine, it is difficult to have new ideas.
Plus two people, also began to be familiar with each other, acceptance, not much hope, he is such a person, change can not be changed, it is difficult to have waves in the relationship. In this period, couples are particularly easy to enter the state of partnership, three hundred and sixty-five days are repeating, as if life at a glance can look to the end of the same unwillingness are no way.
There are also a lot of couples who are counting the days until their children are finished with their high school exams, and then they are going to get a divorce. There are also many couples who feel that this life is too boring, I have to go out and find something interesting to do. Then the way to get through this hurdle is to rebuild your intimate relationship, many couples are just familiar with each other, but do not understand, let alone understand and understand, in order to really make your days live in harmony.
The fourth hurdle: the child leaves home called empty nest period
The test is the couple's ability to be alone, this period, the child may have a job, and more of their own time, can finally not have to be busy all day for others, and no longer have to endure for the sake of the child.
Before you have to work, you can let you avoid, and now every day four eyes opposite will not get along. So some couples at this stage will choose to divorce even though they are old. Some couples of men play chess with others every day, the woman can only go to the square dance, anyway, find something, don't stare at home will be better than this.
But these methods can only make their hearts or the feeling of deficit, so this time the two must begin to rebuild the mode of living together, find some two people can play together to do things, happiness will be much stronger.
But if your previous three stages have established a good intimate relationship, established a good family sort, established a good family rules. The problem with the fourth hurdle will not exist. If you do have those four hurdles, it's really the hardest thing for a couple to look at, the hardest thing to go through in their life.
Because each period requires a different solution, but the scary thing is that many people never go to how to solve it, but not to solve it.