We fantasize more than once that when we are old, surrounded by our children and grandchildren, we will enjoy the family happiness in our later years, but when we walk, we will find that life after retirement is lonely and far from being as beautiful as we thought.
After retirement, the children have formed their own families and are busy in a corner of the city. Just like when we were young, we had no time to take care of our lonely parents. It has become an extravagant hope to go home to see them on holidays.
Being surrounded by children and grandchildren is even more extravagant. Grandchildren need to go to school, and they will be alienated from you when they grow up. Apart from loneliness and loneliness, they will only live alone.
Living alone is everyone's destination. If you dare to face up to its existence, you won't feel terrible, let alone afraid.
So, how should we face up to living alone? In fact, after retirement, if you have begun to live alone, it is best to use these two ways to relieve loneliness!
Reading, swimming in the sea of books
After retirement, we need to adapt to life at work quickly. Loneliness will inevitably follow us, and we can't get rid of it anyway. It is better to learn how to get along with loneliness than to treat it as an enemy.
Jia Pingwa once described loneliness like this. He wrote in "Walking Alone": Real loners don't talk about loneliness, but occasionally make some long screams, just like the wild animals we meet.
Living alone is not really lonely. It is only because you have nothing to do and don't know what to do at this moment that you are bored, so you call it loneliness.
Most old people like to use lively atmosphere to eliminate loneliness, but this only solves temporary troubles. When you are immersed in a person's life, loneliness will still appear. The more you are eager to struggle, the easier it is to get into it and often feel that you can't get rid of it.
In fact, if you really want to get rid of loneliness, it is not to drive it away from you, but to be with loneliness, so that you can have something in your heart and feel that living alone is a very meaningful thing.
Jia Pingwa, a writer, advocates that the elderly should read more books in Alone. Books are the most important companion in life, the treasure of spiritual world and the substitute of loneliness.
If you can swim in the ocean of books, will you still feel lonely? When you pick up Mr. Jia Pingwa's "Walking Alone", will you also find the joy of life and experience different feelings of living alone? When reading becomes a habit, you will feel comfortable instead of being afraid of living alone.
If you feel lonely now, you might as well read the book "Walking Alone", which will definitely help you get rid of loneliness and get out of the predicament of life. After retirement, because I don't need to work, my health will definitely get worse and worse. In addition, with the growth of age, all kinds of negative emotions on TV and their fear of loneliness will follow.
An old man who is already in poor health, the more willing he is to entertain foolish ideas, will easily lead to emotional collapse, affect his life and be unable to get rid of loneliness.
Therefore, whether from a physiological point of view or a psychological point of view, the body is the capital of the revolution, and it is necessary and urgent to maintain one's own health.
At this time, the elderly are required to go to fitness, such as square dancing, running and playing table tennis. As long as they like sports, they can strengthen their physique and mind to a certain extent.
The writer Haruki Murakami once wrote a book about running, called What I Talk about Running.
The book tells how he got rid of his depressed heart as a writer and the words that made him stressed. Among them, his mentality has undergone profound changes, from initial anxiety to gradual indifference and openness, all of which are brought about by running and fitness.
Haruki Murakami wrote in "What I Talk about When I Run" that exercise can not only release hormones, but also bring a good mood for the day, making people feel that life is particularly leisurely.
You know, when writing this book, Haruki Murakami obviously didn't simply describe running, but wanted to get a glimpse of people's inner yearning through running, so as to get rid of all kinds of negative emotions, including loneliness after retirement.
If you don't know what fitness can bring to your life after retirement, take a look at what I said when I was running, which can be used to swim in the ocean of books and make you pay attention to fitness, killing two birds with one stone. 1, go out and have a look.
Old people usually stay at home alone, and they can get in touch with the outside world through tourism, which broadens their minds and horizons; Getting out of the narrow and monotonous life increases the interest, which is naturally beneficial to physical and mental health and can also stimulate the vigorous energy of the elderly. Old people often travel with their families and like-minded relatives and friends. At the same time, they can make many new friends during the trip, which is quite beneficial to eliminate the lonely character of the elderly.
2. Learn to change roles after retirement.
When you are old and retired, no matter how high your official position is or how much money you have, you should forget your glory and glory and realize the role change as soon as possible. Be a kind elder at home, do more, talk less, warm your family with love and enjoy family happiness. Outside, you should put down your airs, treat others equally, make friends with ordinary people, feel warm and pass on happiness.
3. Insist on moderate exercise every day.
It is simple and effective to insist on physical exercise for about an hour every day and take a walk together. Exercise can also improve mental health, regulate positive emotions and eliminate mental stress and loneliness. Medical psychologists point out that the most important thing in psychological adaptation is the adaptation to interpersonal relationships. Exercise has become a good form to promote the psychological adaptability of the elderly.
4. Continue to study and enrich yourself.
After retirement, the elderly can continue to learn new knowledge, read books and newspapers, and care about state affairs. Conditional can join the university for the aged, enrich life, delay brain aging and prevent the occurrence of dementia. In the process of continuous learning, the elderly not only improve their self-worth, but also solve their loneliness in learning. Through learning, we can also strengthen the connection between the elderly and society and enhance their own sense of social value.
5. Dare to meet strangers
When the elderly move to a strange environment, they should face the reality, boldly go out of their homes, actively communicate with others, care more about helping others, establish new contacts and integrate into the new environment as soon as possible. Make more friends in all aspects, especially those who forget to celebrate the New Year. There must be some close friends or sisters. Appreciate and praise others more, learn from others' strengths to make up for their shortcomings, and constantly improve their own quality. Learning to open your heart and communicate with friends more will help to relieve your depression.
Step 6 cultivate hobbies
Reading, writing, calligraphy, painting, photography, playing the piano, singing, dancing, boxing, chess, raising flowers, growing vegetables, fishing, handcrafting, keeping pets ... Everything has inexhaustible knowledge and skills, which can open a window for you and let you see a colorful world. You can choose one or two and get involved. Doing what you like as a career is conducive to cultivating positive spiritual pursuit and keeping yourself happy, energetic and healthy.
7. Trust professionals
Middle-aged and elderly people who leave their jobs and retire have difficulties or unsuccessful self-regulation, and their families feel helpless in the face of such problems. And when the elderly feel unwell, in a bad mood or depressed, they should take the initiative to seek help, avoid taboo diseases and avoid medical treatment, and seek psychological counseling in time. Qingyuan Psychological Counseling Center has professional mental health counselors for middle-aged and elderly people. Psychological counselors have many years of consulting experience and have received a large number of similar cases. I believe I will provide you with professional help.
8. Make love.
Widowed or divorced elderly people, if they can find their favorite partner, reorganize their families and let love nourish their hearts, is also a good way to solve loneliness. However, remarriage must be considered carefully and carefully to avoid being hurt again. For the elderly, remarriage can not only take care of and support each other in life, but also communicate and comfort each other in spirit, so that they can achieve psychological balance and spiritual relaxation. It can make people spend their happy old age happily and enjoy the last stage of life.
9. Learn to appreciate yourself
Many retired people will have a negative idea that they are too old to work and have been eliminated by society. Actually, this is not right. Old people should learn to appreciate themselves. We are old, not incompetent or useless. When we were young, we had made due contributions to our family and society. Even if you are old, you are no longer productive. As long as you are alive, you must make contributions to your family and society. Don't feel inferior, don't be depressed, see your strengths and advantages, live a happy life with confidence, and face life with a smile. Don't be too frugal, enjoy yourself, dress yourself up carefully, wear fashionable clothes, and participate in various social activities gracefully.