When I quit school and entered the workforce, I had no self-control, so I repeatedly hit the wall. I've been able to find a job, but my own efforts haven't been rewarded with anything ﹑ the boss's harshness, the indifference of others, I can't say anything about it, I can only secretly blame God in the right time not to give me the right job. I have changed several jobs since then. Everyone has a dead end, they can't get out, others can't get in. After I got tired of my job and saw through life, I changed.
I don't know when I started, but I got hooked on nightclubs. Often sitting at the bar, drunkenly holding a glass of wine, slow smoking, looking at those self-indulgent dancers, I faltered, then well, since the good people are not popular, then do a bad guy. At that time, my boyfriend was a fighter, he often said to me that the time to be ruthless to be ruthless, do not show mercy to anyone, because you show mercy to him, he will in turn bite you a bite to you mercilessly. Since then, I learned to cold, fell in love with the dagger, fell in love with the machete, tattooed, and occasionally sucked some powder. To outsiders I am a wild and unruly, bad from the inside out girl. I love the feeling that outsiders want to get close but are afraid to.
I thought I could live like this forever, but I forgot that there's a price to pay for all the madness. Finally, in one of my drunk and disorderly, my boyfriend was taken away by the police after he cut the other guy 5 times for me, causing serious injuries. The price finally came, my boyfriend went to jail and I still feel sorry for him. I did visit him later, and he was obviously not as dashing nor as dominant as he used to be. He said he wanted me to live my life and be myself. I cried and nodded.
Youth is a river, the people who go through it towards maturity, the people who can't go through it towards degeneration. Growing up is painful because we keep wandering through mistakes and failures as we grow. Debauchery of youth, unruly soul no one will do for you, their own fate is their own master, success or failure is entirely dependent on your own efforts and grasp. Short youth can not stand our poor toss, there is no need to be unable to retain the time to remember their own wrong before wanting to prodigal son to return, because the bleak years are not wrong, the fault is that we rest in the bleak. Since God gave you life, good or bad, we always have to cherish.
Now, I have been the prodigal son to return to change a lot, started their own work, stepped into their own life. What brings me motivation is the words of my boyfriend: "Live well and be yourself". I believe I will succeed, because not only for myself, but also for those who encourage and care about me.