After having children, parents will spend their whole lives worrying about their children. Children should study when they are young, work and get married when they grow up, and worry about the next generation after marriage.
We always want to give the best to our children, but sometimes we ignore the fact that our children have grown up and we are getting old.
Learning to let go after retirement, gracefully retiring from children's lives, enjoying old age and giving children's small families an independent space is the greatest wisdom and the most perfect happiness.
Some elderly people think that without the constraints and pressure of work, it is easy to shift the focus of life to their children's small families.
This borderless concern and interference will make it easy for them to live in a pool of blood in their later years, and will also make their children's small families worry too much about their parents.
If you want to live a comfortable and happy life after retirement, you must be an old man who can handle it clearly, especially the following three things you can't do for your children.
There is a saying: you get what you pay for. You can't live without money.
Especially in old age, with the gradual aging of physical condition, the probability of needing money is increasing. Therefore, it is fundamental for the elderly to have enough pension money in their hands to settle down.
Some people will give their savings to their children for various reasons after retirement. Although children will promise their parents to bring them whenever they need them, once they meet unreliable children, their parents will have a miserable life in the future.
After colleague Jason retired, his son said that he had a good investment project, which was much higher than Jason's income in the bank. With his son's repeated encouragement, Jason gave his son the 600,000 pension money he had saved for half his life, and his son said that he would definitely turn his parents' money into a "golden hen" that can lay eggs.
A year later, Jason's wife was admitted to the ICU of the hospital because of a sudden cerebral infarction. Jason asked his son to take out money to treat his father, but he never got the money. Jason cried and begged to know that part of the money was invested by his son in the stock market and part of it was bought by his son.
In desperation, Jason had to borrow money from relatives and friends to pay for his wife's treatment.
Parents must have a correct understanding of their children, rather than simply judging them by the standard that they are biological.
As the old saying goes, the golden nest is not as good as its own.
Have a house of your own, no matter how big or small, you will feel free. The older you get, the more you have your own house. Although the child is your own, the daughter-in-law and son-in-law involved are foreigners, so they are not as comfortable as themselves after all.
/kloc-After his wife died of illness 0/0 years ago, Zhao Yi, a neighbor, provided for her daughter to graduate from college. My daughter talked about a local boyfriend in Jinan and stayed in Jinan after graduation.
Although Zhao Yi very much hoped that her daughter could go back to Qingdao, she was helpless. Relatives and friends advised Zhao Yi, Jinan and Qingdao to take the train conveniently, so Zhao Yi had to compromise.
Shortly after her daughter got married, she gave birth to twins. Zhao Yi is very happy to go to Jinan to take care of her daughter. The son-in-law is also very kind to her, and often asks for help. She and her in-laws take turns to take care of her daughter, each for a month.
It is inconvenient to run around even for a short distance, and the two grandchildren are getting older. The daughter and son-in-law discuss changing a big house.
The son-in-law thoughtfully discussed with Zhao Yi that it was not convenient for her to take care of him alone in Qingdao, and asked her if she could sell the house in Qingdao and help them change to a bigger house, and then live with them, so that they could provide for her old age.
Aunt Zhao wants to find her only daughter, and it's hard to see an old man without children. She thought it was also a solution, so she sold the house in Qingdao and went to Jinan to take refuge in her daughter.
When saving money, Zhao Yi left a mind's eye, gave a third of the money to her daughter, and put the rest in her own hands, telling her daughter that this was her future pension money. Once she is ill in the hospital, she will use this part to divide the money without dragging them down.
It's true that the fragrance is far away and the ugliness is near. Although the mother-in-law loves her son-in-law more and more, the son-in-law does not necessarily love her mother-in-law.
After Zhao Yi lived in her daughter's house, her in-laws went less, and Zhao Yi helped her at her daughter's house. The food and drink of her two grandchildren exhausted her. Every day, she goes to the morning market to buy food. After going home to cook, she will pick up two grandchildren for dinner at noon. After lunch, she sent her children to school. When she got home, she didn't even dare to sleep. She had to prepare dinner.
I'll cook dinner after picking up the two children. In case my son-in-law and daughter go on a business trip to work overtime, I will also watch the two children do their homework.
Zhao Yi is too old to eat every day and wants her in-laws to help, but her son-in-law says that Zhao Yi lives with herself, so it is inconvenient for her parents to come and there is no place to live.
After two years of persistence, Aunt Zhao's blood pressure was high and her heart began to have problems. She decided to go back to Qingdao, but the house in Qingdao has been sold and there is no nest of her own.
Later, with the help of her sister, Zhao Yi rented a house in her sister's community and lived alone with her two sisters. Let her nephew do anything for her.
Whenever I meet an old sister who wants to sell a house and live with her children, Aunt Zhao and her self-interpreter advise them to think twice. She said that when people get old, they can only sleep in their own houses.
Many people feel that they have nothing to do after retirement, and their children need to take care of their grandchildren to show that they are needed. This is a kind of happiness. They will devote themselves to taking care of their grandchildren, and even forget that they still have a home and a wife who takes care of themselves.
Classmate zhangyan's son got married and soon had a grandson. His wife's family is a remarried family, and neither his mother nor his stepmother can help him. The son asked his mother to take care of his grandson.
Zhangyan just retired at the age of 55, and her husband still has five years to retire. For the sake of his son and grandson, the husband asked Zhang Yan to help his son take care of his grandson, saying that he could do it alone at home.
Zhangyan later lived in his son's house. At first, he went home every weekend to help her husband take care of his life. Later, my son and daughter-in-law went on a business trip or worked overtime, and zhangyan went home to see her husband every month.
Husband lives alone, and eating alone is also a hunger. The stomach trouble that hasn't happened for a long time finally broke out after half a year. Zhangyan hurried home to take care of his wife for a while, but she couldn't let go of her little grandson.
As soon as his wife got well, she hurried back to her son's house to take care of her grandson. In the middle, she only contacted her wife by phone. At first, her wife complained that she only thought about her grandson and ignored him. Zhangyan said he was jealous of a child.
Slowly, my wife stopped complaining, urged her to go home, and often didn't answer the phone, and then said that she was playing poker with her colleagues downstairs.
Zhangyan thought that his wife would take it easy, and that it was fun for him to go downstairs and play poker, so he was more at ease to take care of his grandson at his son's house.
Once zhangyan came home without saying hello, trying to surprise his wife. It turned out that his wife was not at home at all. He didn't know until he asked his old neighbor that his wife had gone out for a square dance and had a fixed partner. They often appear in pairs.
Zhangyan is a little confused. She doesn't know what to do with her future life. For her son and grandson, when she was old, her wife gave her a green silk scarf.
Happiness in life has its own forms, especially for the elderly who have experienced all kinds of hardships in life. After entering old age, how to balance the relationship between father, wife and children and how to allocate house and money all need wisdom, mind and pattern.
It is also a sign of our parents' love that we live a good old age.