What is in your mind after savoring a book? At this time, you need to seriously make a good record and write after reading. Then you really know how to write after reading? The following is my carefully organized "When I met a person" after reading essay, I hope to help you. I don't want to change you, I just love you "as you are". The first step is to make sure that your child has a good understanding of what is going on in your life and what is going on in yours. What determines a child's future material abundance is the mind, not the existing material conditions. The real masters only need a little bit, that is, to hit the nail on the head, straight to the essence of the problem.
Think of me as a child, family life is not rich, but mom and dad always do their best to leave the best things to me, no matter what things will not let me wait, such as the school to pay the money, mom is always the first time to give me the money to let me go to the payment, will not be because of the temporary lack of money to me to let me wait, even if it is really because of some special reasons, mom is also with me to make it clear.
Good habits can not be cultivated, change habits only because of the lack of love. As soon as the habit is mentioned, I will think of the habit of watching TV while eating as a child, when I watched the Journey to the West, I was particularly obsessed with it, and I ate for an hour or two while eating, and the rice was cold, and I dropped the bowl.
Another mom just bought a plate in the cabinet, I went to open the cabinet door to play, play to play the mom just bought a plate are broken, then very afraid, scared and cried, but then mom did not hit me because of this matter, in my impression, mom did not say anything, look at me crying, hold me, after a while to clean up.
Later, when I ate, I didn't just stare at the TV, knowing that I should eat first and then watch TV, or watch TV when I have to eat well.
When I Met Someone 2Curly just had her second birthday. Recently I've sensed that she has developed empathy. After dinner, which is usually my alone time with Curly, I ask her if she wants to go out or play at home. On this day, she chose to play poker at home. After playing for a while, I had already put half of the bath water on her. She suddenly wanted to go out and play. I agreed.
There is a "square dance diva" in the neighborhood, an aunt who should have had a dance foundation, and she dances beautifully, and I'm a fan of hers.
When we went out, the "diva" was teaching new dance moves, and I learned them. At that moment, Curly ran to the slide next to me. After running for a while, she saw that I wasn't following her, and then stopped to wait for me, saying "play the slide". I went over to her and said, "Mommy wants to learn how to dance, so let's dance here. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do that!
So we continued to dance, and when I lifted my hand, I accidentally touched the rolls, and she was standing right next to me. But it was only a light touch, and I quickly squatted down to apologize to the rolls, and found that she had tears in her eyes, murmured "slide, play slide", obviously, is to suppress their desire to play the slide. She loves her mom so much that she chooses to stay with her.
Recently, I read Li Xue's "When I Met Someone" on WeChat Reader, which mentioned that accepting and perfecting oneself, education is a kind of transmission, and when one's cup is full, the child will naturally spread in the right direction. Many of the ideas in this book are contrary to our "common sense": "good habits can not be cultivated, bad habits are only due to a lack of love". But it's worth reading carefully.
Luckily, from the time I was very young, I consulted my elders and learned a similar philosophy to the one mentioned in When I Met a Man, which is to listen to your child's needs, do your best to meet them, and try not to judge them. Even when Curly was occasionally naughty and threw things around, I just silently put them away without criticizing. Now it seems that by responding more to the child, she naturally develops empathy and grows up healthy.
After reading When I Met Someone, I learned some more specific ways to communicate with my child. For example, it was mentioned that the most common mistake we make is to try to resolve the other person's emotions, when in fact it's better to just acknowledge the other person's feelings. A child loses his beloved kitten and misses it terribly. If the parent offers a solution - don't be too sad, get another one. It actually denies the child's love for the kitten. If the parent just accompanies or responds - mom sees your sadness, the child will experience the full sadness of "loss", become naturally calm, and perhaps come up with a solution to the problem himself - buy another kitten. And then, perhaps, they will come up with their own solution to the problem - to buy another kitten.
I became a father in July 20xx, and most of the books I bought at home were about parenting and how to build a good relationship with your child, and how to raise your child, and I was attracted to this book by its name when I saw it, and it overturned a lot of my ideas. The whole book speaks to the author's most basic point: the mother-infant relationship, and in fact in my case the parent-child relationship, determines everything about the child's relationship. And in many ways it elaborates that we need to love our child as he is, not as we want him to be.
This book is actually the author Li Xue's own experience and distillation of some of the experience, from the perspective of the psychology of object relations, that the mother-infant relationship determines the color of the baby's life when he grows up. In the first two months of life, the baby is in the "normal autistic period". At this stage, the infant's response to the outside world is minimal, basically only eating and sleeping. This is because the baby's sense of the world is one with him/herself, as if he/she is still in the womb, and there is no external mother yet. The mother's active attention and companionship maintains the infant's "omnipotent narcissism", i.e., "the world and I are one, calling for milk and changing arms. The mother's active attention and companionship maintains this "omnipotent narcissism" of the infant.
When the baby's "omnipotent narcissism" is more fully satisfied, the mind naturally moves forward, gradually separating itself from the outside world, and not only focusing on itself, but also starting to focus on others. When love is filled up inwardly, it naturally flows back to the outside world. This is the so-called "subject-object differentiation". Upon completion of this differentiation, the infant develops a basic level of trust in the world, and will no longer want to destroy everything in the future when he or she encounters frustration. If the infant experiences his own "omnipotence" in his first experiences, his future life will be warm and colorful, and the opposite will be lonely and gray.
Before we came across this book, we heard about "cry immunization," "cry control," "spot timing," "sleep training," "sleep training," "sleep training," "sleep training," "sleep training," "sleep training," "sleep training," "sleep training," "sleep training," "sleep training," "sleep training," "sleep training," and so on, "sleep training", "delayed gratification" and so on, we think it will be very good to cultivate the child's behavioral habits, regulate the child to become an orderly person, but this book is precisely against such behaviorist psychology education methods, the consequences of doing so will make the baby's The consequences of this are that the infant's psychological foundation of "omnipotent narcissism" is severely damaged, laying the groundwork for future psychological problems and damaging the infant's life.
This book also describes what happens to children when their "omnipotent narcissism" is fulfilled, so that parents are not too anxious about their children's misbehavior. At the same time, the book also gives examples of many of the children's judgmental behavior, change the judgmental thinking, rather than a normative value orientation, the need to illustrate the problem through the event itself, rather than directly subjective with their own thought of the value of thinking to regulate the child, the authors advocate that the best education is not education, more than one kind of rule to the child's unlimited possibilities more than one shackle.
Through the study of this book, I am reminded of the university period gradually forgotten professional courses in social psychology: the formation of personality in infancy and early childhood, such as the famous psychologist - Freud, that "the child is the father of mankind, the personality is mainly determined by the experience of childhood! ".
He divided the stages of psychological development into: the orofacial stage (0-1 year old), the kyphotic stage (1.5-3 years old), the erogenous stage (3-6 years old), the latent stage (6-8 years old), and the reproductive stage (adults). Erikson's "New Psychoanalytic Theory of Personality", these stages of psychological development as well as psychological theories can not help but make me think of the correlation and difference with this book, the correlation lies in the fact that there are all kinds of psychological periods in a child as well as different degrees of psychological fulfillment have an impact on the formation of the child's personality, and the difference lies in the specific method of operation whether to use the behaviorist psychological method or to use the full satisfaction method. Behaviorist psychological approach or the use of full satisfaction of the child's "omnipotent narcissism", for example: when the baby is hungry and needs to breastfeed to meet the "lip-smacking" stage is the use of "delayed gratification". The principle or use the author of this article concept, such differences may only be in the continuous recognition and *** with the growth of the slow evidence.