Grandma scraped her forehead and face with a silver ring and egg white out of love for her granddaughter. The old man's wish is simple. I hope that through this "indigenous method", children can be helped to relieve discomfort.
However, for a baby girl of 10 months, how delicate her face is! Moreover, the method of scraping needs to vary from person to person in adults, not to mention children. The doctor said: if the injury is serious, bacteria may run into the blood and cause septicemia.
I believe that after hearing the word "septicemia", a large wave of old people will no longer use "indigenous methods" to "treat" their children!
Dare you let the old man take care of the children?
When chatting with a friend who is just pregnant 1 1 week, he said: I will quit my job after a while and take care of the children myself.
I asked her, "Didn't my parents-in-law come to help long ago?"
She said, "I don't trust them. My children have to bring their own, so they can give financial support. "
Your job is so good, it's a pity to resign. I can't help feeling sorry for my friend when she thinks that her annual salary is 300,000.
"It's a pity, but I don't trust to bring it to the elderly. I miss the growth of children and may be spoiled by a lot of bad habits. " The friend said truthfully.
As an experienced person, I can fully understand the thoughts of my friends. In today's society, there are endless negative news about the elderly taking care of their children. The old man took the child to run a red light, which led to being hit; Old people spoil, children have no rules; Old people take care of their children, while children stab others with wood blade ... All kinds of news are showing that old people take care of their children with great disadvantages. However, while young people complain about the disadvantages of the elderly taking care of their children, they ignore a question: Is the elderly taking care of their children happy?
Old people with children have low happiness index.
As the old saying goes, "every generation", shouldn't the elderly be willing to take care of their children? Why is the happiness index low? There are three reasons:
1, both physical strength and energy are consumed.
Before my younger brother and sister were 3 years old, I basically brought them by myself. As a young mother, taking care of children is a physical activity. They were fine when they couldn't leave, but after they left, they were always worried about whether their every move was dangerous.
This is even more difficult for the elderly. Some children are naughty, and the old people have to chase them, so it is a test of the old people's physical strength and energy in the process of looking after children.
2. No private space
Mrs. Wang, a neighbor, once complained to me that when her parents-in-law came home, one was lying in bed playing with her mobile phone and the other was dancing square dance outside. This is also a contradiction.
In fact, for the elderly, they have been paying for their children almost all their lives. In order to reduce the burden on their children, they have to help take care of them, resulting in no private space, which will reduce their original social ties.
T ips: People of all ages need their own private space.
Third, the pressure brought about by the differences in educational concepts and life concepts.
Young people often have conflicts with the elderly, the root of which is the difference between educational concepts and life concepts. Old people take care of children in the old way, because children grow up like this.
But this is not the case for young people who have been exposed to new ideas. They have an obsession to give their children a very good environment, so all the people in the family must agree with their ideas. This will undoubtedly bring great pressure to the elderly, which is neither right nor wrong. If the contradiction escalates, there will be more unhappiness in my heart.
How to balance the elderly and the baby?
For today's young mothers, going to work after maternity leave, on the one hand, does not want to be out of touch with society, on the other hand, can also prove their value and get corresponding returns.
This means that young parents need the help of the elderly to look after their children. Some people may say, "You can hire a nanny, which will save the elderly", so there will be more concerns about hiring a nanny. Some friends around me believe that grandparents are at least safer with their grandchildren and they will feel at ease.
Then, if the elderly are needed to take care of the baby, how can we balance the relationship between worrying about the poor care of the elderly and not making the elderly feel happy? These three tricks must be tried:
The first trick is to be grateful to your parents.
Parents have worked hard for their children all their lives and should always enjoy this happiness. They have no responsibility and obligation to raise their children's next generation. Of course, under the national conditions of China, parents will also help. Children should be grateful for their parents' help, and be tolerant, respectful and concerned about big and small issues.
The second measure: negotiate the bottom line of parenting.
My aunt cried with me several times during the 1 year when she helped my cousin take care of the children. Most of the reasons are parenting problems and family conflicts caused by different concepts between young people and old people. It is suggested that young parents should consult with the elderly when choosing to let them help with their children, and clarify some bottom line issues in parenting.
For example, how to properly handle conflicts between children and others? Or how long to play, what books to read, what rules to learn and so on. These are problems that will happen in daily life and can be communicated one by one.
Tips: Pay attention to methods when communicating. It doesn't mean that the young people's concept of parenting is right, nor does it mean that the old people's methods are wrong. They only discuss with each other for the better growth of their children.
The third measure: give the elderly a "holiday"
On weekdays, the elderly take care of their children and give their parents a holiday after work or holidays. Give them red envelopes as shopping expenses or travel expenses and let them go out to play.
This can not only relax parents, but also keep a happy mood. And for young parents and children, it is also an important moment for effective companionship and good parent-child relationship.
The contradiction of intergenerational education is objective and a social problem, which lasted for many years. Nowadays, young parents have their own career plans and most of them need their parents' help. But it also has its own concept of parenting, so we must take a proactive attitude to solve the problem of intergenerational education.
In the morning, my mother came to talk:
Related links 1: Is the child's ability to withstand pressure too bad? Parenting expert: It is still not enough to cultivate "adversity quotient".
Related link 2: Should mothers "take the lead" in raising children? Yale university: the children brought by dad have higher IQ.
Related link 3: Are children who sleep in separate beds more independent? Don't always take western parenting classics as the imperial edict, what is suitable is the best.