In the mother-in-law-daughter-in-law relationship experienced more, also counted to see clearly as a mother-in-law or grandmother's person. However, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are, after all, two people without blood relations, the relationship is not good is also understandable.
However, as a child's grandmother or grandmother, should not be the old people are loving children and grandchildren, and the mouth also read every day: my big grandson how, my grandson I love the most, etc.
The first time I saw a child's grandmother, I saw a child's grandmother's grandmother, and she said, "I don't know what to do.
Example 1: The same grandchildren are treated differently
My friend Yue, her husband's family of two brothers, because his younger brother married earlier, so the child was born earlier, married into the mother-in-law to help the youngest son with the child.
The mother-in-law's original marriage to the eldest son with the wedding room also let the youngest son, a month had to live in her mother-in-law's home, the mother-in-law's home is quite large, the family live together also do not feel congested, and the mother-in-law during the day in the youngest son's home, the night only to return to the month of life, a month think this life is also quite good.
After more than a year of marriage, Yue was pregnant for the last month, and the family discussed the idea of letting her mother-in-law come back to help, but she always excused herself by saying that she didn't have time to take care of the baby, and that she lived in her mother-in-law's house, so she couldn't let her mother-in-law come, and that her mother-in-law had her own problems.
In the end, Yue's mother-in-law said she would bring her older grandchildren back with her to take care of her younger grandchildren.
Just a month ago, A Yue was able to see her mother-in-law's "love of the house" clearly.
But the mother-in-law said, the house to the younger son, she will certainly more love a month of children more. Now the child is about to be born, the mother-in-law is not even willing to take care of the month, this is the care of the eldest son in law, the care of the child?
In the month, the younger son, the 2-year-old child also slapped his younger brother, saying that his brother all day long just know how to cry, and all of this mother-in-law saw but did not say anything, but said that the child is a small child do not know how to do things, so that a month do not take it seriously.
Every morning, my mother-in-law would get my eldest grandson's breakfast first, and then I would get Yue's breakfast, and sometimes I would take my eldest grandson out to have breakfast, and then I would drag him to 10 o'clock to bring breakfast back to Yue.
Regarding lunch and snacks, Yue has never been treated well, she eats what everyone else eats, and can only order takeout if she's really hungry.
Well, the mother-in-law does not know how to take care of her daughter-in-law, not to discuss for the time being, but the same is the grandchildren, the mother-in-law on the month of the child as the "cold shoulder", not even a bath to help wash, are the child's father from work to get their own, the mother-in-law said that after a day of the big grandchildren, the waist can not straighten up, and really can not do other things.
Well, wait until the month to invite relatives over for dinner, the mother-in-law has been holding the baby in her hands, talking to relatives about how the child, he or she is with the big and small, said as if the small grandchildren is her hand to bring the full moon, the same.
The relatives looked at her two grandchildren at home and asked her which one she loved, she said that they are their own grandchildren, there is no love which one, they are all the same, but instead of the eldest son when he was a child, he loved some more.
Listening to her mother-in-law say this, A month heart, this is not a hint of love for the eldest son's child more, but also really can say out, the whole month added up to hold the child's number of times, ten fingers can not be counted.
Example 2: Grandparents only love their aunt's cousin
A few days ago, my neighbor's child came over to play with me, and I asked her why she didn't go to her grandparents' house for New Year's Eve, and she said she didn't like going to her grandparents' house because they only love their cousin, and they couldn't bring themselves to eat anything good, and said that those are the things that their cousin eats.
Before listening to the child's mother said, the child's grandmother loves her daughter more than her son, her own grandson went to play on the smile to greet, but also called "grandmother's baby", but never know what the grandson loves to eat, and not mind over what the child eats, and the daughter's child went over and asked the child to like what to eat, Grandma to you! buy to go, and then complex dishes can be made out of the heart.
These moves of the old man adults see in the eyes, but it is not good to say, but even the children can see that their grandmother does not hurt themselves, pain is the aunt's cousin, which is not reasonable.
Most of this is happening in families with more than two children, and if there is only one child, this will not happen. When there are more children, the old man will surely have a preference for the one, but even if he knows which one he prefers, he won't say it explicitly, and he won't admit it even more.
①People say it hurts, but the action doesn't follow
A lot of old people claim that they have a lot of pain in their grandchildren, but in the family they have a different look, the grandchildren, the grandchildren are in fact, "redundant" for them, because they don't have enough time for themselves. "The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on a new pair of shoes or boots.
But, for the sake of face, they won't talk to people outside, they just say that they love their children.
② took the "salary"
Some of the elderly originally had their own jobs, but the daughter-in-law to work there is no way to take care of the children, so let the elderly over to help, although the old man gave the "salary", but for the old man, this is not willing to do, but the old man, the old man, the old man, the old man, the old man, the old man. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on a new one, and you'll be able to do that.
But after all, this is also their grandson, completely as a stranger is impossible, but pay more "love" and can not do, so in front of others said that they love their grandson, in order to take care of over to take care of him, the old family things have not given up.
③ only love themselves
Some old people do not know how to think, in their world is estimated only their own it, even if it is the only son, the only grandchildren, in their eyes is not treated.
This type of elderly people may be used to living alone, for bringing up children did not want to help at all. However, in front of outsiders, they will show that they love their grandchildren, after all, they only have one grandchild. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on a new one, and then you'll be able to see it, and then you'll be able to see it again.
Having said all this, what Abuti wants to say is that children are actually just like little animals, and they know who treats them with sincerity.
If you only do well on the surface and treat your child badly in private, don't ask your child to be able to treat you with much respect in front of others.
However, such old people, although there are, well, not many, I believe more old people still love their grandchildren very much.
In the end
Our own children, the ability to bring up their own, do not be too much to ask for the old man at home, they have their own living space!
Writing: Abbott's Parenting