From ancient times to the present day: "men when married to women when married" this is an unwritten rule handed down to this day, that is, no matter whether it is a man or a woman to a certain age to start a family, marrying a wife and children or marrying, so as to form their own family, this thing to the large is to reproduce offspring, the continuation of social The process, to a lesser extent, is the combination of men and women to become a family, to live their own lives, which is a very normal social phenomenon
But we all know that there is never any absoluteness, although the benefits of marriage between men and women, but there are some people, because of such and such a reason, and the choice of which the single all their lives, have not become a family, in the eyes of outsiders, they are the "other", they are the "other", the "other". They are the "other", is "not fit in" a class of people, many people feel that they are now a person every day to face the cold pots and cold stoves, surely the days are not good enough to go
So the fact that the real situation in the end is how it is? We listen to a few lifelong single, not married to the elderly, how they say, to see if they have ever regretted?
I. Rural Grandpa Wang: "I've been single all my life without marriage, I've never regretted it, because I think marriage is more of a happiness that should be given to others, rather than a drag and a burden"
Grandpa Wang is 68 years old this year, and now it is the winter season, taking advantage of the midday sun is high, he and the other village elders He and other village elders sit outside the house sunbathing, seemingly leisurely and comfortable, Wang grandpa life did not have a family, and never wanted to have a family, the village has five guarantees and other welfare measures, the current life can be said to be basically no worries
In fact, Wang grandpa is not do not want to have a family, in the time he remembers, he was a child got a serious illness, that time the medical level is not very high. The medical level is not very high, although the final retrieval of a life, but it has branded him with a lifelong disability, his movement is restricted, can not do heavy work, but also lost the labor force, but Grandpa Wang is very strong, he felt that the natural God gave him a life, is to let him live well, and to this day, Grandpa Wang is very optimistic, and has never complained about anything to other people
To the 25 years old, there is a girl who has the same name, but she is not a good person. When he was 25 years old, there was a girl who wanted to marry Grandpa Wang, said she was willing to serve him for the rest of her life, and did not mind that he was a disabled person. Although many people thought that since someone was willing to serve him, he should have agreed to do so, but unexpectedly, Grandpa Wang rejected the offer, saying that he felt that a person should not think about other people all the time in his life and that he should think about other people, and that he should not be too selfish, especially when it came to marriage. As a marriage, he believes that the most important point of a happy marriage is: as a man can give a woman to bring protection and happiness, this is the most basic thing, they can not give others anything, but also absolutely can not drag others, become a burden on others, others are willing to, but their own hearts can not get through, do not be too selfish good
Later Others introduced him to several women with physical disabilities, but in the end, because of various reasons, and ultimately parted ways, from then on, Grandpa Wang made the decision not to start a family for the rest of his life, and has been single to this day, and then he got older and physically inconvenient, all of his food, clothing, housing, and transportation in addition to the village in addition to the Disabled Persons' Federation and other public welfare organizations have given the package, so Grandpa Wang is now feeling very happy with his life, and he is still very happy. He is still very happy, for his whole life single without a family, Wang grandfather also feel that he does not regret, in fact, more reason is that Wang grandfather does not want to get married, he not only can not give others the happiness and joy, but also become a detachment from others and the burden
2. Grandpa Zhao: "I've been single all my life without getting married, I've wavered before, but now I don't regret it at all, because I think marriage is more of a happiness that should be pursued, and if it's not happy, I'd rather choose not to get married"
Grandpa Zhao is 75 years old this year, and grew up to be a tall and handsome young man, and is a Full of big handsome, naturally, there is no lack of many suitors, in his 22 years old, there is a beautiful girl and he was engaged, in accordance with their customs there engagement is in fact a trial marriage, a year later before the official marriage license for marriage, at the beginning of the time, the two people also envisioned a bright future, also brewing in the future of the happy life, but only half a year, the contradiction between the two people gradually emerged, the two People accuse each other of shortcomings, a variety of dissatisfaction comes, almost every day quarrels and quarrels, and sometimes hands, parents advised him to endure on the past, but at that time he felt that if now are like this, and later married, the divorce is only sooner or later, and then hastily the marriage to the withdrawal
There is a rural proverb "once bitten by a snake, ten years afraid of the well rope", and the two people are not the same.
There is a saying in the countryside that "once bitten by a snake, ten years in fear of a well rope", which is not an exaggeration when applied to Grandpa Zhao, and he had a sense of fear of other women, so he chose to stay single for the rest of his life, living his own life alone, which is certainly a life of rarity. He also had envy and regret, but more often than not he saw too many couples quarrel and fight every day, every day the family is a chicken and dog, this time he was a lot calmer
Grandpa Wang felt. Although he is now alone over a lot of inconvenience, but for their own marriage, he did not regret it at all, he felt: marriage should not be to get by, more is a husband and wife can have *** with the same hobbies and temperament and personality, if the beginning of the two people are not suitable between them, do not try to change each other, although the marriage, husband and wife is more a kind of bonding, but if you look for a very early, both sides are suitable. A both sides are suitable, will not the future will be happier, less to go a lot of curves?
At the same time, he also felt: no matter when, a person to do anything do not regret, since they chose to go this way, the heart has been prepared, no matter what is right or wrong, he will not regret, and also have a single single happy, married to the joy of marriage, very often, people just lack of an adaptive process, once adapted to the feeling that everything is a very smooth
What's more, I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do anything about it.
So, through the statements of the two old men, we can also feel that although the two old men were young, because of various reasons did not have a family, but they have no regrets until today, and from this through their things, we can also draw the following conclusions:
1. Marriage should be pursued more as a kind of fairness and justice, not as a kind of Selfishness and self-interest. Marriage should be equal and mutually beneficial, both hair are standing on the same starting line, if one party for their own self-interest, the achievement of their own happiness, while directly harming the interests of the other party, this is not desirable, but also for the happy marriage of a kind of deception, such a marriage will not last long
2. Marriage is more should be in harmony, rather than a kind of will be over. We often say a phrase is "life is not on", marriage as a part of life, is also the same, will be on more for the marriage of a kind of helplessness, rather than this is not married? Don't forget, don't get married for the sake of getting married
3. A person's happiness and joy is not based on the foundation of marriage. We all know that marriage is only a part of life, not all, naturally the definition of happiness and joy is very broad, so you can not take whether to get married as a ruler of happiness and joy, happiness and joy is more to your understanding and feelings, not a fixed format
Single people have the joy of being single, and marriage has the trouble of being married, everyone's conditions and ideas are different, the views on marriage are also different. Naturally, the view of marriage is also different, if you are married, and now live a very happy life, couples love each other, then you certainly think that it is good to get married, if you have been hurt in marriage, you naturally think that it is good to be single, marriage is a mistake, so in the end to get married is a little bit more happy or a little bit more hurt, this depends entirely on your own feelings and understanding, how do you understand, then what you say is right!
While there are a lot of unsatisfactory marriages, life is like this, full of bitterness and bitterness, life is not smooth sailing, for marriage I hope that we can correctly understand and face, after all, the marriage is still good, in the marriage, if we encountered difficulties and frustrations, to avoid and not dare to face the wrong choice, to actively find ways to change the situation is the wrong choice, to avoid and not dare to face the wrong choice. Positively think of ways to change the situation is the positive choice, for this, then think I said right?