He said in a letter to his son Fu Cong: "Your idealistic enthusiasm can be shocked, in contrast, I am really old and rotten, a year in the heart of the dead water, only to their own work is still an effort to die, the love of literature and art has not been slightly reduced, there is often a kind of 'waste of people and return to', 'the waste of people and return to', 'the waste of people and return to'. ', 'disappointed' mood, perhaps the Chinese temperament is too heavy, especially the so-called 'free' and 'transcendental' negative spirit affects me. me." These words were spoken in 1963, the year of the Sino-Soviet open war, Martin Luther King Jr. organized the March on Washington to fight for the right of black people to work and freedom, and President John F. Kennedy was assassinated and Lyndon Johnson took over as president. The world is prosperous and thrilling, encouraging young and old to participate, and at this time Fu Lei is only 55 years old, the mood and a few years ago, but a world of difference.
Why did Fu Lei have the loss of the oldest old man? In addition to his excessive labor, the body premature aging, probably not unrelated to his childhood experience.
Fu Lei lost his father at an early age, raised by his widowed mother, his mother was extremely strict on his education, this education, Fu Lei's erudition laid the foundation. As he himself said, "People without bitterness, without contradiction, will not progress." Bitterness and contradictions must be correctly resolved into a desire for knowledge, to see the perspective of the problem to be more varied, skeptical of all the definitive, there are always opposites, can not be immersed in bitterness, depression, inferiority complex and self-indulgence. Fu Lei is tough, calm, but also a bit withdrawn, his mother knew her son, personally chose a wife for him with a gentle temperament - Zhu Meifu, and at the age of 14 she was betrothed to Fu Lei.
Zhu Meifu was born on February 20, 1913, in Nanhui County, Shanghai, and was originally named Zhu Meifu, because at the time of his birth it was the fifteenth day of the first month of the lunar calendar, when the plums were in full bloom. His father, Zhu Hong, was a scholar in the Qing Dynasty who later taught as a profession, and his mother, Yang Xiuquan, had three brothers and one sister.
When she was four years old, her father was sent to prison for wrongdoing, and her mother had no time to take care of her young daughters when her father was wrongly imprisoned, resulting in the deaths of two of her brothers and one of her sisters. This experience allowed her to experience the hardships of life very early, developed a gentle and virtuous character, kind of her, others have to help, her roundness just to Fu Lei's seriousness of the melt, she became Fu Lei and the same impatient Fu Cong between the bridge.
In 1953, father and son because of Beethoven's violin sonatas which one of the most important issue, arguing, at this time the young and vigorous Fu Cong, there is not too much knowledge of music theory, most of the use of intuition in the music on the realization, according to their own musical feelings, he did not agree with his father that the "" Kreutzer "Sonata" is the most important, both sides insisted on their own. Both sides insisted on their own views, and Fu Lei scolded his son, "How many books have you read?" Fu Cong therefore ran away from home, to his father's close friend Mao Chuen's friend Chen Bogeng home for nearly a month, Zhu Meifu in the two fathers and sons, at this time there is a relative passed away, so that Fu Lei felt that life is short, why should the father and son so serious, a lot of emotion, and finally picked up Fu Cong home. Like this family trivia, there are many, Fu Cong later recalled: "Father taught his son extremely strict, sometimes almost unsympathetic, and the mother was mentally tortured as a result." Until Fu Cong to study in Poland, Fu Lei recalled the former Fu Cong all kinds of, like a nightmare. Since then changed the way of education Fu Cong, the two are not only father and son, more like academic friends. He said in a letter to his son: "The day after you left, I wanted to write a letter, for fear that you are annoying, it is just. But there is not a day without thinking of you, every morning at six or seven o'clock woke up, tossing and turning, can not sleep, can not say for what. Really, the month and a half you were at home that time was the happiest period of our lives, and I don't know to whom I should thank for this happiness. I am happy that I have gained a friend, and that my son has become a friend; what in the world can compare with such happiness? Though you and I shall be far apart in the future, I shall at least be warm and not alone in spirit. I am afraid that the lessons I get from you are not less than you get from me, especially in the past three years, you do not know that I have a few more profound experience of life, I learned from the process of getting along with you learned patience, learned to speak skills, learned to sublimate the feelings of ...... "Visible to be a parent is also in the The first time I saw the movie, I was able to see that the movie was a good one.
Fu Lei's influence on Fu Cong is very far-reaching, any art has its implicit side, the need to comprehend, and each stage of comprehension and different, this is the charm of art.
Zhu Meifu junior high school in Shanghai church school Taowen girls school, high school into another church school Yen Mo's girls school, had learned the piano, due to read the church school, but also understand the English language, in the long years, she not only take care of Fu Lei's life, give birth to children, but also responsible for the translation of manuscripts and the transcription of letters.
In 1932, she married Fu Lei in Shanghai. Shanghai in the thirties, a little Paris of the Orient, was a time of enchantment as if it didn't even exist, like a moment of God's blinking eye, a time truly used for dreaming. Zhou Xuan, Meng Xiaodong, butterflies, Lin Huiyin ...... their dazzling name, leaving a mark, so that a hundred years later, we are like a family treasure. Those who scrupulously adhere to the original, the most homely women, but let today's people sigh unattainable, suddenly born diaphragm, become a specimen in the museum, they are like a watercolor painting, with the bland painted the canopy, become the background of the times.
Perhaps it is because of Zhu Meifu's mediocrity, for this marriage, Fu Lei once said: "I went abroad at the age of twenty, already engaged to her, but in the four years abroad, her views changed three or four times and faltered a lot." In fact, Fu Lei wasn't just heartbroken; at the time, the idea of breaking up feudal arranged marriages was common among international students. During his study abroad, he met a girl named Madeleine, and after getting along with her, he decided to propose to her. He wrote a letter to her, wanting to break the marriage contract with Zhu Meifu, but he was in a dilemma and couldn't make up his mind, so he had to entrust Liu Haisu to send the letter to her and didn't expect that she had another boyfriend. In 1932, Fu Lei returned to France at the age of 24 and married Zhu Meifu.
But in a few years, Fu Lei went to Luoyang to study the Longmen Grottoes, and in that place of artistic excitement, he had a secret love affair with a Bianliang girl. Fu Lei is an artist, perhaps the artist is always a little sentimental, in fact, even ordinary people, it is inevitable that will love more than one person in his life, if you say that for love is a kind of pain, that the so-called joy of love, are also pseudo-proposition. Fu Lei in Fu Cong is about to enter the marriage had cautioned: "enthusiasm is a beautiful spark, the beauty is beautiful, why can not last." "Few lovers in the world who are on fire can become a beautiful, long-lasting couple." "Goethe's wife, Christina, was an extremely vulgar woman, but Goethe's artistic achievements were made possible by the peaceful and quiet life of the couple." I don't know if Mrs. Fu Lei has read this letter, Fu Lei life to Zhu Meifu is owed, although Zhu Meifu did not say, but Fu Lei heart should understand.
In this marriage, Zhu Meifu has always been in the forbearance, the marriage feelings are always the same, she clearly know the defects in Fu Lei's character, said he "personality impatience, large and small tortures are always unavoidable," said Fu Lei personality, arrogance, and people **** always difficult to get along, and finally can only be at home to translate. "Character determines destiny", simple six words, was framed in which people, must be painful. From Fu Lei's letter to his son can be seen, he is a spirit of vigorous people, music has its own unique insights, love children as much as their own eyes. Although Fu Lei is not good at socializing with others, fortunately, he was blessed with an understanding wife.
Fu Lei settled into family life, focusing on translation, education of two children. They married a **** have three sons, after the death of the eldest son, the birth of the second son Fu Cong in 1934, to bring joy to the family, Fu Cong childhood is still naughty, teenagers and study in Poland, in 1961, he and the famous American violinist Menuhin's daughter Myla combined and gave birth to a son, more than a decade after the relationship declared a rupture. Thereafter, Fu Cong had a second marriage, but due to cultural differences, they soon separated, and he eventually stayed in England to form a family with pianist Zhuo Yilong. Fu Cong was a successful poet-pianist. The content compiled in "Fu Lei's Family Letters" is the letters Fu Cong exchanged with his family during the period from his study in Poland to the suicide of Fu Lei and his wife, in which one can see the communication between father and son in two generations from the life to the heart, and the hard work of a father to cultivate his son. The third son Fu Min was born in 1937, educator, editor of the Fu Lei family letters. Fu Lei as a father is very successful, I believe that people who have read the "Fu Lei family letters", all envy Fu Cong, his father often said that he was the pride of the sky, but this is inseparable from Fu Lei in the back of the ardent care given to him, he a letter from home, so that Fu Cong through the years of a foreign country that he faced alone.
Compared to Fu Lei, Zhu Meifu's life is like a dusty general, dissipated in the dust of time, she is like a cup of water, moist and silent. There are many kinds of love, affection, friendship, love, we are in such and such emotions and reason in the non-stop bumps and floats, life is not stagnant water, the reality of the people are too sober, the eternal lonely, the perfect widow, in love with the life of the dander fleas and lice, make it alive, people if only to live and live, how boring. There is a saying that love lasts longer than death. We clearly remember those warm love, but hopefully love is not narrow, indulge in a period of love, and ignore the beauty of the side, another regret ah. We are accompanied by love, in a long life, there are still a lot of `things to do, there are still things worth pursuing, love life. Fu Lei and his wife, probably with such a mood, to maintain the family and educate their son.
The grand life, perhaps does not care, exactly where to bloom, knot what kind of fruit, but lies, this life has no bloom. Summer flowers are gorgeous, autumn leaves are still beautiful, dark or rich, each with its own characteristics, perhaps but like an onion in general, layers and layers, long and short, such a woman, there is always a page or several pages of life, like a fan of general piercing people's eyes, bringing surprises, so that people stop and stay, and like Zhu Meifu, such a woman, simple and even the four strings of a guitar can not be put together neatly, bland, as was distilled by the old rite of passage in general, she put her own years to her family. There is a movie "Mona Lisa Smile", Julia Roberts played a fifties American radical college professor, teaching girls to be useful, the courage to break through the boundaries of family ethics, but the results are very sad, the girls in the worship of the "Mona Lisa", most of them ultimately chose the family. Some women with kill Bill's dominance, but also killed at the wedding site, forced from the grave, a good woman will never meet such a tragedy, you can say that Zhu Meifu is ordinary, the end is not too perfect, I believe that her life, like a carnation with warmth.
This century, the so-called feminism is nothing but want to pull women from the family to the workplace, I can not assert which life will be better, the only truth is that people need to learn throughout their lives, and constantly improve, life is a process, the youth such as a dream month, the middle age to carry on, the old age is light and carefree.
People say that women, is a complete being, because there are several souls, delicate and sentimental, but more practical than men, it is difficult to transcend the world, living in the clouds, destined to suffer more. Westerners have faith, can be followed, the East has transcendence, can be relieved, but no matter what kind of culture, there is no gender, from this point of view, men and women are the same, or, put aside the reproduction, the human being is androgynous animals, mutualism, rigidity and softness, we suffer only the balance between the two. Zhu Meifu is a model of a gentle woman, the Iron Lady is the leading woman, they each chose the flower they wanted. The great German pianist, Schnabel, made a famous remark, "I have spent my whole life studying and playing only what I could never play well!" Social thinking is constantly surging, such a collision, so that people and their own will not be completely harmonious and harmonious, need to find harmony, if you are thinking, it is bound to be full of contradictions, "I think, therefore I am", which is also the value of your existence.
Fu Cong learned music, which in Fu Lei's view is the most stimulating nerves in all the arts, too much emotional investment will hurt for a long time, not as much as painting, calligraphy, such art cultivation, so often advocate that he is close to nature, and more rest, especially after having a family, for fear of too much emotional investment in his performances, which affects the harmony of the family, and think that it would be better to have less performances, and that it would be better to have less performances, and that it would be better to have less performances. "Deliberately seeking to work, I'm afraid that it will add to the snake and lose the true interest". Should be more with the family, the cultivation of temperament is the most important. Fu Lei said, if art is the most beautiful flower, then life is the blossoming tree. Detached from life, you are nothing. Although he taught his son to be more than strict, not enough vitality, but will write in the exchange of letters, some cooking methods, parents, anecdotes from ancient and modern China and foreign countries, talk about everything, he on the one hand Fu Cong to the depths of the arts to lead, broaden the horizons, hope that he is not only confined to the music inside, "rely on the music to cultivate the music is a great disadvantage," to be able to get from more He hoped that he would not only be confined to music, "relying on music to cultivate music is a great disadvantage", but also to get inspiration from more aspects. At this time, Fu Lei, who was already old and sickly, would often feel that the grass and trees were falling when he encountered the change of seasons, and he questioned, "It is the first thing to decline before one gets old, and the second thing to lose one's business"; however, he also said that he could only talk to Fu Cong about such a sorrowful and gloomy mood in autumn, and that there was no barrier between the two of them.
In order not to let Fu Cong worry about cultural differences in a foreign country, Fu Lei would write letters to tell him about the development of the Eastern and Western civilizations even if he was in physical pain, and to help him understand the Western culture more y. From Fu Lei's letter, he said: "art is a tyrant, do his slaves are willing, so this tyrant is especially terrible, since you recognize the art as the master, all the pain and suffering is your tribute to him, you believe in his religion, how can you not put less jail too jail to make sacrifices? Each line of work has each line of humiliation and bitterness, to be able to peace of mind is the only way to less pain." Oriental implicit, Westerners direct, we are difficult to appreciate the pure mechanical beauty of steel like Westerners, the square are dancing mechanical dance is very thunderous, but are playing tai chi, and there is no anger, everything has a degree. A good person, has a far-reaching absolute vulgar taste, but do not lose the true nature of the world, keep childish, always have spring kite flying, summer catching river crabs, autumn point orange lamp, winter snow seeking plums interest, Lahai rummage box looking for beans, watch the opera even if falling asleep also do not feel ashamed, pulling carrots out of the mud with normal, if it was born crystal clear, is not it a freak? The first thing you need to do is to get rid of all the stuff that you have to do to get rid of.
All the gods, Goddess of Fortune is the most capricious, those who seem to be the most seductive, but also the most fleeting, when we have, that is, when we lose. Fu Lei wants his son to become a rock, the mainstay, the pride of the times, rather than flowing in the surface. Just this life, but also a kind of appreciation, do not eat the bitter taste, which know the sweet taste, people always have to believe in something, firmly believe that the farthest, but also the nearest, too carved deliberately, but will be delicate and weak.
Zhu Meifu uncomplainingly endured the unhappy marriage, originally thought, can be exchanged for a lifetime of stability, but life, in addition to the grand repetition, but also like a cloud map, can not see its unpredictability, the people small can not decide to tomorrow's own survival, and even confused is the previous life owed to the present life, or yesterday's account is allocated to the next life. Just as all the clouds are born from the sea, their peaceful life is also facing a shocking wave, a cultural catastrophe began.
Love a person, get a city, Zhu Meifu for her city, hung a heavy copper lock, we can not peep into the flavor, only know that around and around, she to the death has not been able to get out of the city, I think the city must be incredibly subtle it.
Another year of spring came, willow flakes floating in the sky. People are not as good as flowers, flowers bloom year after year, people live a season, sometimes people are not as good as dogs, dogs strong sense of belonging, so that it lives a satisfied and happy. And most of us will die alone, the accumulation of a lifetime, but also dust to heaven and earth.
On September 3, 1966, Fu Lei and his wife committed suicide at home, some say it is poisoned, some say it is hanging. More than a decade later, the two were vindicated, Fu Cong returned from abroad, and his brother together with his parents' ashes moved into the Shanghai Revolutionary Martyrs Cemetery. Who said that love can not light up life, some people are lonely all their lives, some people are full of water, the pulse is not allowed to speak, some people are born before I was born, I was born, the king has been old, compared to these unfortunate people, Mr. and Mrs. Fu Lei is lucky.
Some people say, the wind blows to which side, the grass falls to which side, when I was young I thought I was the wind, grew up to know that we are all just grass. Mr. and Mrs. Fu Lei in the castle of art like two polar bears, encountered such a warm environment, can carry their ice is getting thinner and thinner, the life of the impermanence of the rapid rotation of the variations, can be played well, not when you are the most efforts, just after the stove is purely a kind of habitual. In fact, Mr. and Mrs. Fu Lei's life, is a life of kindness and simplicity, he taught his son no matter where he went, be a good person, he learned a lot, but still y buried in the Oriental sense of predestination. There are many things that he never understood in his life, without really transcending them. Although he was a father, he was like a child, and there are people who are like children, but in fact, they are like a father. How much age is as thin as spring ice, if you live a thousand years in the same way, or in vain, I always have trouble identifying with Tianshan Tongmu, if she is a child, she must be simple. Just as I countless times passing through the city a cake store, looking at the cake inside, always feel too gorgeous, I'm like a little girl selling matches, can not afford to buy, but always thinking, if one day it closed, this may be my regret.
After the death of Fu Lei, Fu Cong in literature without progress, Fu Cong's children, but also completely did not take over the mantle of his father in the piano, really let people feel sad. Today, looking at those yellowed books, can still feel Fu Lei when he was writing these words, these family letters if only in the moral and personality for the benefit of the readers to move, it is a pity that these hard work to pay.