2. and my daughter went to eat crayfish, my daughter asked: "Mom, the crayfish can not return home, its mother will not be anxious ah?" I was frozen, then the boss to solve the problem: "No, their whole family is here."
3. What is Paige? I don't know, I only know: the year of the pig does not work hard, nothing can match!
4. The chick asked the hen: "Can you not lay eggs today and take me out to play?" The hen said, "No, I have to lay eggs!" The chick said, "But you've already laid so many eggs!" The hen helplessly said to the chick, "Son, you have to remember, one egg a day, the chopper step aside; no egg in January, see you in the pressure cooker."
5. Girls should not play mind games with each other, they are going to go square dancing together in a few decades anyway.
6. Mom: "You go out with a mask," I: "It's okay, Mom, I've got a cold!" Mom: "No, you're so old and still not married, you still have the face to go out?"
7. My aunt just bought a new car and was showing it off in front of our house. Suddenly there was a bam and then the sound of a broken bottle. It turned out that the reversing car hit a variety of bottles collected on my son's small tricycle. Now my son quit and rolled around the place crying. Aunt got off the car to see: Well, bumped into the bumper, open a price! In the end, a bottle of Wahaha, a packet of instant noodles, a box of sugar to solve the accident.
8. Today, wearing headphones to listen to the song, found that the left side of the sound, after checking to find that it is a false alarm, the original is the left ear can not hear, thought the headset is bad, scared me.
9. The weather is getting colder and colder. So many years, good food and drink to raise this body fat, is no use at all. It feels like I've raised a bunch of white-eyed wolves, and my heart is cold!
10. The so-called white-collar, is to pay the rent, water and electricity, buy oil and rice noodles, touch the pocket, sigh, this month's salary and white-collar.
11. It is not that you don't want to fall in love, it's that your looks don't match your vision.
12. There is a favorite girl to go after, care about whether they have a boyfriend or not, the team has a goalie, the ball is still not into!
13. When things go wrong, I won't rush to blame others, but first reflect on myself, if it's really my fault, then think about how to shirk to others!
14. I asked the female net friend for a photo, after softly and firmly, she finally agreed to send me a photo of a real person, the results of the click on a look, really is a photo of a real person, Zhang Sanfeng Zhang real people!
15. I always feel that other people are eating a few bites on the full, and I am full can eat a few bites again.
16. With your looks, there is no need to lose weight, and now you can take fat as an excuse for your ugliness, but there is no excuse after losing weight.
17. Other people's twenty-something: thin face needle, eye opening, pad nose bridge, fill fat, apple muscle. Their own twenties: this is delicious, that is delicious, wahahaha, crikey, this Nima is also delicious.
18. I was cheated by others on the Internet one thousand three, I went to the police, the police said the amount of less than two thousand will not be filed, so I immediately to the account of the fraudster hit seven hundred, y shocked by their own wisdom.
19. All the people are in love, and I'm in the ash, the old man is cool ah. Life is still interesting, after all, every day for different reasons want to die.
20. Before marriage, touch your wife's hair, ding ding can stand up. After you get married, touch your wife's ding-dong, and your hair will stand up.
21. Some people don't even know their own neighbors, but care a lot about whether there are aliens in the world or not.
22. It's so easy and intuitive for kids to judge age: "He's got kids, and you...don't have a girlfriend yet."
23. What do you mean by following the right people to do the right thing. When you go to the market to buy food, you follow the aunt, and when she goes through a fierce bargaining, you say: boss, I'll have two pounds too.
24. Mom likes to play mahjong, but then I was born, mom for me and for the whole family, determined to give up mahjong, because she felt, as if playing me more interesting.
25. For some people and some things, we need the spirit of the toilet, press it, everything is clean.
26. A lot of people talk about their exes being widowed, sorry, I lost my dog.
27. Don't blame me for being desperate, when you put on the wedding dress of love, I also put on the monk's robe.
28. Women, bleeding a week a month can not die of animals, what reason not to be strong.
29. Courier industry is not bought by the Buddhist community? The company's main business is the delivery of goods and services to the public, and the delivery of goods and services to the private sector.
30. Life is too unfair. A meal is not eaten, a gram can not be thin; eat a meal, but to fat three pounds.