Foreword:
There is a strange phenomenon that single middle-aged and old-aged men, whether because they are divorced or widowed, will rush to find themselves a female companion, no matter whether to take a marriage license, in any case, there must be a woman around the presence of women.
And the single middle-aged women are the opposite, they are widowed or divorced, often do not rush to find themselves a second partner, they can maintain a long time single, and will even choose to be single to the old.
For this phenomenon, people have a variety of speculation: some people say that the reason why women are no longer married, because they are too demanding for a second marriage; some people say that women are no longer married to escape from the marriage life, and like the freedom of single.
So, why do middle-aged and elderly women choose to live alone? What kind of experience is it for a woman to live alone in her old age? Are they happy with their single life in their twilight years? Listen to what three single women have to say.
Ms. Chen:
I am sixty years old this year, my husband lost his life in an accident ten years ago, I have been living alone for ten years, I have long been accustomed to the single life, and do not want to make any changes.
My late husband was very good to me during his lifetime, and I can't erase him from my heart in this lifetime. He and I are free love, then I was an ordinary can not be ordinary girl, I look average, work in general, family conditions are also very general.
My in-laws are family, mother-in-law gave birth to a son and a daughter are very successful, the deceased husband graduated from college and went to work in a scientific research unit, as a technician. My aunt was a teacher, a respectable profession.
When my late husband and I fell in love, I was just a small shopping mall salesperson. I such a job, in the eyes of the in-laws is very low, they think that the salesman's job is no gold, and there is no development prospects, so it is very opposed to the late husband and I dating, said the late husband married me into the door will be degrading to their door style.
My husband loved me so much that he said he would never give up on me. He said that although I am very ordinary, but he just like ordinary me, like my share of pure and simple strength.
Later, my in-laws saw that they really could not argue with my late husband, so they reluctantly agreed to our marriage.
These are the first time I've ever seen a woman in the world who has been in love with her, and I've never seen her in the same way.
The two of us have been living in the in-laws' house after marriage, and the in-laws don't like me, so naturally they won't give me a good face. I live in my in-laws' home, every day I live carefully, fearing that if I am not careful, will cause them to be unhappy.
Hubby sympathizes with my difficulties, and took a lot of private work after work, he worked overtime every day to earn money, and finally saved enough to buy a house down payment, moved away from the in-laws.
Since we live alone, my late husband let me quit my job and concentrate on raising children at home. He paid for my pension every month, saying that with my pension, I would be able to live well even if he was gone one day.
My late husband's words came true when he was fifty-eight years old and passed away in a hurry because of a car accident. We had planned to buy an RV to go on a driving trip when he retired two years later, but it turned out to be an unfinished business.
The death of my late husband brought me a huge blow, in this decade, although many people to me as a matchmaker, I refused one by one. I feel that no one in my life will be able to surpass my late husband's goodness to me, in that case, I might as well live my life alone.
I miss my late husband every day, and even though ten years have passed since his death, his face is still clearly in my mind, as if he were still with me.
I think women and men are different, men are more rational, even if he loves a woman again, once lost, he will find again. But women are different. If she loses a man she loves more, she will be immersed in the good memories of the past and can't pull herself out, and it's hard to accept a new man.
Ms. Wei:
I am fifty-five years old this year, I and my ex-husband divorced has been five years, in this five-year period, although many people have advised me to find a second marriage partner, said I have no money, but also have to rent a room to live in, if you find a better economic status of the second marriage partner, you can reduce my financial pressure.
Although I would like to find a good second marriage partner for me, can let me follow him to live a little better, no longer for a little food money and tangled, all day do not want to eat do not want to wear, so that I can also experience the days of not worrying about money.
But I can't make up my mind to remarry, and I can't put it into action. Because my ex-husband brought me too much damage, so I am now afraid of marriage. I'm afraid that if I accidentally find a man with the same bad moral character as my ex-husband, I will never be able to get back on my feet.
My ex-husband is a domestically abusive man, and not a day goes by that he doesn't beat me, and even if I do well, I can't hide from his fists. My father-in-law is also a domestically abusive man, my mother-in-law lived under him all her life, and then because of cancer, she left the world early.
My father-in-law later found a second marriage partner, he and his second marriage partner not even a month, he committed the disease, he beat his second marriage partner to the bed can not get up, and later or after the mother-in-law's son to get the news, will be after the mother-in-law back to their own home.
After the mother-in-law was beaten, naturally, it is impossible to continue to live with the father-in-law, the father-in-law and her newlyweds only a month, where willing to let go? The son of the mother-in-law personally, escorted the father-in-law to the divorce formalities, after the mother-in-law finally got out of the way.
I'm not as lucky as my mother-in-law to be able to get away with this. My parents have only one daughter, and they themselves are honest people who can't beat their ex-husband, who is both ruthless and scheming.
Although my parents felt sorry for my suffering with my ex-husband, there was nothing they could do about it, except to cry tears of sympathy, and they couldn't give me any help. The first time I saw this, my son was still very small, although every time my ex-husband hit me, my son's eyes were hateful gaze, but he was weak, he was powerless to fight against it, and he could only look at me silently and suffer.
Later on, after my son became an adult, I was finally able to call the shots, and I was able to successfully divorce my son under the protection of my son, and I no longer need to live in fear.
Although I chose to leave the house when I divorced, I was still very happy. Even living a life of poverty was far better than being beaten every day. After the divorce I rented myself a single room for eight hundred dollars a month.
At that time, my pension was only 3,000, and I had only 2,000 yuan left to live on after the 800 yuan rent. I was very frugal every day, and only ate meat and vegetables once a week. In order to save money, I never bought clothes, and I only used the cheaper Dabao skin care products.
Although I am looking forward to finding a man who can help me get out of the rented room, and follow him to have a better life, I am afraid that I have just got out of the room. But I am afraid that I just got out of the wolf's den, and then into the tiger's den, then my life will be completely ruined.
So I'm hesitant to make up my mind about finding a second wife, and I'm happy to say that my current life is a bit of a struggle, but I'm glad to see that I'm at peace with myself. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to get out of the shadow of my failed first marriage, so I'm likely to end up alone.
I've already planned that if I can't reverse my fear of men, I'll be able to live my life alone, although I can't afford to buy a house, I'll be able to save more money, and when I'm too old to move, I'll go to a nursing home, which will be a good way of explaining my life to myself.
Ms. Sun:
It's only since I divorced my ex-husband that I've finally realized the beauty of being single. I used to be so busy every day, with a whole bunch of people around me waiting for me to serve.
I was busy after the child busy husband, but also have to make time to take care of the poor health of the in-laws, even if I do all the good things, they also think that I do these things are deserved, when I am a little slack, a whole lot of accusations will come to me.
Not before the divorce, our family of three are living with the in-laws, not that we do not have a house, but the in-laws took the initiative to ask us to live with them. The in-laws said they were too ill to cook, so they asked us to live with them so they could cook for them.
I didn't want to live with my in-laws because I know how difficult it is to have a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship. I asked my in-laws to pay for a live-in nanny, and if they didn't have enough money, I would subsidize part of it. My in-laws are adamantly opposed to hiring a nanny, saying they have care, so why waste money on a nanny?
My ex-husband also supports my in-laws' opinion, saying that I don't just make more meals every day. I'm not sure how hard it can be. Since my ex-husband insisted, I had to comply with his decision to move in with my in-laws and take on the obligation to take care of them.
I don't want to affect our relationship because of this, I know that my husband is a great filial son, if I insist on not taking care of the in-laws, he will be my enemy.
Since I moved to my in-laws' home, the days have been a blur. I'm a busy mess after work every day. I have to cook for a family of five, and I have to do it in a colorful, flavorful, and matching way, otherwise the family will have a problem with it and say that I'm not serious about cooking.
I also have to wash the dishes and clean up the house after they have all finished eating, otherwise my in-laws will look at me and say that I am too lazy as a daughter-in-law, and I don't know how to clean up the house when it is so messy. After all this, I also have to wash the clothes of a large number of people, and when I finished all that, they have long gone to sleep.
Such a day I have been five years, although I am tired every day straight back, but still insisted on, I hope to use my pay, in exchange for the family's harmony and peace.
Until I retired that year, I was completely unveiled, determined and ex-husband filed for divorce. The cause of the matter is because after I retired, I finally have a lot of time, can comfortably arrange their own things.
I have long planned with my sisters, every morning and evening together to exercise, square dancing, once a month traveling, we are happy together to enjoy the retirement life.
All my plans, all to the in-laws to break, they said I do not work, a woman's family, after retirement do not stay at home to take care of a family of old people, every day to run out of crazy, how to act?
It was not easy for me to survive until I retired, and if I don't take advantage of my health to travel around, I'm afraid I'll regret it when I'm old, so I'm still doing what I'm doing, and I'm arranging my retirement according to the original plan.
In addition to being away from home for a few days each month when I travel, I usually make three meals a day and organize all my household chores. Even on those days when I traveled, I would make dumplings with various fillings, enough for them to eat for a few days, and the dumplings would just be cooked, it was no trouble at all.
But even then, my in-laws were unforgiving, they scolded me for being an unfilial, ignoring them when they were sick, and only caring for themselves to run out and play.
In-laws although mobility, but life can be completely self-care, I think they are simply exaggerated in fact, to me moral. The most hateful thing is that they also talked to my ex-husband and made him come to the opposite side of the fence, accusing me together with them.
Since this is the case, I have no need to continue to stay in this family, I firmly and ex-husband filed for divorce, and split a house. The house was purchased with my provident fund, and in order to be fair, I gave up all my savings at home and broke up with my ex-husband peacefully.
After we divorced, my ex-husband went around threatening that I would surely regret it, and would cry and beg him for a divorce. I don't know where he got his obsessive self-confidence, all I know is that since the divorce, I've realized that the single life is actually so wonderful.
I am no longer pestered by never-ending chores, I have the freedom to organize my life every day, I don't have to look at my man or my in-laws anymore, and I am incredibly happy every day.
I will never choose to remarry again in my life, because as long as I live with a man, I will have to go back to my old life, where I have endless chores to do every day, and I have to look at my man's face from time to time. I really enjoy my cozy life now and will never change.
Conclusion:
Now the degree of tolerance for women remarriage is greatly increased, after the divorce of the marriage of the widowed, if there is a willingness to remarry, can rest assured that boldly remarried, and the other side will not be remarried to women look at the other way.
But the survey found that the probability of women remarrying is much lower than the probability of men remarrying. The reason for this is not that remarriage is not accepted, but that it is the choice of the woman herself.
For women, even if they want to find a single man who loves them and tolerates them, they often have too many concerns.
Men can enter into the next marriage with the attitude of trying, women will be more timid, afraid of remarriage failure, will be afraid of the wolf, afraid of the tiger, let themselves stand still.
Middle-aged women, whether from the economic level, or the spiritual level, are dependent on men, they do not have to be accompanied by a man to live, they are pursuing a period of comfort, peace of mind, just life. The fact is that they are not the only ones who have been in the market for a long time, and they are not the only ones who have been in the market for a long time, and they are not the only ones who have been in the market for a long time.
I'm @cicadasinwilliam, thank you for reading and . Let's read and understand men together, decipher the language of women, *** with the opening of the code of happiness in life, updated daily.
The above is related to the 63 year rabbit women in later life situation, is about marriage sharing. After reading the fate of the 63 year rabbit people in later life, I hope this will help you!