Xu Lou village, where is my hometown, is also my root, relatives watch home. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to get a good deal on a new product, but I'm sure you're going to be able to get a good deal on a new product. Father and mother have long stood at the door looking out for the return of the traveler. My mother was busy boiling tea for me, taking peanuts, boiling eggs, busy. My mother's rough hands tugged at me, endlessly talking to me, endlessly talking about my love. Steaming hot home-cooked meals, this is the taste of mother, the taste of home, the taste of a long goodbye. But now, the hometown landscape is still in, do not see the watchful mother voice, everything, can only look for in the dream.
A
Mother was 85 years old (1936-2021). 2021, the first ten days of the first month of the lunar calendar (February 21, solar calendar), she died swiftly, went to heaven. She went there to meet her parents. Mother left without consulting me, she left in a hurry without saying goodbye. She loved to listen to me, but this time, I don't know why, I hadn't promised her yet, why did she leave? Why? Maybe she misses her dead relatives, there are her thoughts. Or perhaps she is alive, we late generation filial piety is not enough to make her old man angry.
For this reason, I asked the Buddha, and the Buddha said, "Your brother is a filial son, you are a filial son, and your sister is a filial son, and it was Mother who voluntarily superseded her." When she was alive, Mother had told me more than once that fallen leaves must eventually return to their roots, and that she wanted to see her loved ones. With such an obsessive, affectionate and righteous mother, even if she is gone, we will have no more regrets.
Summarizing the life of the mother, the grace is heavier than the mountain. Although ordinary, usually are doing some trivial small, mostly around the firewood, rice, oil, salt, soy sauce and vinegar, these trivial matters of life, but for the children and grandchildren, hard life, busy life, but also willing to suffer and pay for a lifetime.
Mother had four children, two sons and two daughters, children and grandchildren. 1959 famine, hometown encountered natural disasters, starvation of the whole family, but Mother did not abandon my brother. Even though my brother was as thin as a wood, dying, and could not walk, my mother put my brother in her arms, put the bark of a tree withered grass with a fire to burn, feed my brother, and retrieve a life. In the winter of 1976, I was seriously ill, my mother led me around to find a doctor, my life, also given by my mother. 1978 autumn, the village children plague, many children died, the whole village was terrified, do not know what to do, the village howled, I was scared out of my wits, my eldest sister infected with the disease, the nose and mouth blood, my mother ran to the cinema, with a loudhailer to call the doctor, in the pouring rain, in a timely manner, the hospital, my eldest sister life, also gave me a chance to go to the hospital. My mother also gave my sister her life. The first time I saw this, I was able to see my mother, who was a very remarkable person, and she saved the lives of many children.
From the time I was a platoon leader, to the time I was promoted to the brigade political department of the regiment officer, mother lived with me for 19 years. To be precise, it was Niang who served me for 19 years, and she took care of my cooking, laundry and other household chores. After she changed her job, she followed me for another 4 or 5 years, and still worked her ass off for me. The mother is a bitter person, the only portal, my father Jiang Hanchao long-term illness, can not go down to the ground labor, dirty work all fall on the mother alone.
My mother has been with me for 19 years and has had three major surgeries. The first time I saw this, I had to go to the hospital, and I had to go to the hospital, and I had to go to the hospital, and I had to go to the hospital, and I had to go to the hospital. I have been discouraged, looking forward to her early relief, so as to avoid further pain and suffering. Mother's gastric prolapse and postoperative colon infection, oil and salt, nausea and vomiting, rounded stomach suffocated to pull out feces and urine, eating and sleeping disturbed, look at the heartache, without hospitals and doctors, is the eldest sister, little sister with sesame oil enema only to be able to dredge, better, cured. Mother's disease is too much, the whole body is sick, we do not know which disease to cure. She herself said, "Dig me a hole and bury me." It was not easy for her to live, and the sufferings she endured were too numerous to mention. However, mother is a very strong woman, with the disease, planting vegetables and planing, laundry and cooking, all take, she endured the pain, and finally survived. The first time I saw this, I was able to eat and sleep, and I had a lot of energy, so how could I say no to that?
I used to fight and quarrel with my mother because she was picking up rags. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to get the best out of this, but I'm sure you're going to be able to get the best out of this, and I'm sure you're going to be able to get the best out of this. Whenever it was time to eat, she stood in front of the service company with a stinking bucket waiting to receive slop. The officers and soldiers laughed at and underestimated her, and even the driver complained to me, "Hurry up and pick up your old mom, it's so disgraceful!" What was even more annoying was that she fought with others for the rags, and was even squeezed out into a half-person-deep pool of manure, getting her clothes all dirty and wet. In order to pick up rags, my mother and I often quarreled and fought. Especially when I was transferred back to the local community, she still had to pick up rags. She didn't lack money, and picking up rags was her life. The rags in the family home were all contracted out, so I blocked the door to keep my mother from going out to pick up rags. Even my son complained to his mother, "Go and see, my father is arguing with my milk again!" Today, the mother went, I heart is not calm, from now on can not see the mother, want to quarrel with the mother fight is also impossible, now think about it, my face is not at all as important as the mother, she should not go ah.
Second
Mother is worth missing. I despite the many things that are not as good for her, but the mother is still immortal mother. Without heaven, there would be no earth, and without my mother, there would be no me. Mother's kindness is higher than the sky and thicker than the earth. Niang is everything to us later generations. Mother is like leading a group of monkeys, teaching us to climb up the tree of life and become dignified and capitalized human beings. From the bottom of my heart, I hope my mother lives to be 100 years old.
The memory of my mother, not perfect, but life with my mother, is the most beautiful. However, that kind of beauty can only be in another world, I can only imagine. I'm not sure how much I'm going to be able to do this, but I'm sure I'll be able to do it in the future. When I think of my mother in the darkness of the night, it's as if I'm actually touching her face, lying in her arms as I run along the path she guided me on. My mother's eyes haven't changed, the eyes that only my mother possesses are the deepest memories I have of her. When I called my mother, she couldn't hear me and was often distracted, so I could only talk to her in my heart. The life has changed, but how can not change that has been dusty memories, that can only recall the world and my own mother.
Mother had a lot of taboos before she was born, such as the bowl open mouth can not put chopsticks, can not look in the mirror at night and can not comb hair, children can not be to the sun to urinate ...... These taboos, although there is no scientific reasoning, but it is time to constrain my words and deeds. Now that I think about it, this is just a civilization and cultural heritage, just to remind us that people should have a minimum of reverence.
When I was a child, I loved to tell my mother about my troubles, and on the way home with my schoolbag, I told my mother: "So-and-so scolded me and beat me." Whenever I cried out, the mother will be brightly smiling and comforted me, said: "I know, I take the time to talk to so-and-so's mother, so that so-and-so don't hit you, play with you, okay?" Then I was happy for miles. Mother is my dependence, my protector. All my life, my mother has taught me how to behave, how to be honest, so that I know more about kindness and learn to be kind. Today, I seem to have lost a flying wing, can only be in the mind of a million times the mother of the past, looking forward to a kind of miracle can travel through time and space, release my deep nostalgia for the mother.
When I was a child, my mother took me down to the river to catch fish, many fish, were confused with pesticides, we stood in the half-deep river water to salvage, the result of the fish loaded pants to pull the lumps, did not tie the leg loose, the fish slipped away, white busy morning. I covered my mouth and cried, and my mother persuaded me, "Don't cry, I'll go to the street to buy fresh ones today." I grinned, "Mother, really? Mother, you are so kind!" Now I think back, still feel in a dream, want to call a "mother", but also no one promised.
When my mother was alive, I was the one who suffered the most. I remember the summer when I was admitted to the military school, my mother knew that, she was overjoyed. That year, the family did not have eggs, not to mention the big fish and meat to treat me, mother had to cook two tomatoes, as a reward for me. I laughed, but my mother cried. My son is my mother's heart, how can I not love my son? My mother said that my brother was also a good man, but his culture was a bit shallow. But my mother is very satisfied with my brother, often told me: "your brother that person is not simple, old filial piety, heart special goodness, with education has nothing to do with, with the heart loaded with mother." I am lucky to have a good brother, good sister, brother and sister have nothing to say to each other, brother and brother like brothers ah. The first thing I'd like to say is that I don't know what to say, but I'd like to say that I don't know what to say, and I'd like to say that I don't know what to say, and I'd like to say that I don't know what to say.
This means that the mother's work is the most important, the little sister to transfer to the account to find a job, two nephews in the army to the sergeant, as well as the arrangement of work, the eldest sister family planning over the birth of a child, and so on, is the mother of one hand, let me handle, you can think of, mother in the hearts of loved ones of the importance of the degree of.
Mother alive, but also with me to learn to learn to ride a tricycle, but the mother of Alzheimer's disease, she did not know the brake, raw tricycle ride turned to the woods, I was happy to laugh. No fun, 83-year-old mother, little girl-like, also laughed: "Not fun!" To tell you the truth, when I was with my mother, I was actually having fun, and often she would open her mouth and laugh. Although I quarreled with my mother and bickering, it is all superficial, not really, pretend to others, because I love my mother, often hidden, cunning, humor and fun love.
I remember, my mother was more than 80 years old, but she did not have head lines on her forehead, and her face rarely see wrinkles, which is not a better indication that my mother lived a happy life. The first time I saw a woman in a car, I was in the middle of the car, and I was in the middle of the car, and I was in the middle of the car, and I was in the middle of the car, and I was in the middle of the car. Mother then "giggle" laugh, mother laughed, and then scolded me: "ghost child, roll aside, not allowed to make fun of my mother, I am your own mother ah." The first time I saw this, I was able to get a good look at it, and I was able to get a good look at it, and it was a good look at it.
Slowly wandering in the memories, looking for the mother left little by little, but do not want to delete those memories of the mother, that is not a diary, can not be torn off, can not be burned, can not change the mother's thoughts. However, everything has become the past. Lost the world's favorite happy mother, waving hand tears stained lapel, the heart is not good, sad ah!
Three
Sleepless tonight, the stars and the moon, mother lying in the coffin.
In the sound of rain and silence on the infiltration of the night, let me be a person quietly leaning against the window, looking at the distant vault, the place called heaven. Let me, once again, gently call out to you, will never promise my mother. Let me, once again, the rain in the sky, weaving into a face that will never smile at me again in this lifetime. The sound of the rain at that time is the sound of my mother in the distant heaven, gently calling me by my maiden name? The sound is full of the bitterness of longing for my mother. Words, are condensed to the mother's helpless sadness. I put my hand out of the dark window, good hope in the vast emptiness, can hold something. Am I tugging at the corner of my mother's blue cloth in the cold wind? Or did I touch her silvery hair in the cool rain? But, in addition to a hand of cold and wet, I finally can not hold anything.
The cold rain and the wind, which is dripping, drifting and scraping, is still blowing through the window pane. I do not know, in such a rainy night, and how many lives, with beautiful regret, will end abruptly in a moment, a touch of broken it. Life is unpredictable and remote. And I, not exactly running in this end of life on the road? I, is not precisely towards the mother of the heavenly road, gradually approaching?
From time to time, a drop of rain falls from the gloomy sky, as if crying, and as if the dewdrops that are usually missed, and thus drifts down on the path of this unfamous field, reminding me of my mother's familiar but unfamiliar face, as well as the pair of eyes that are wise to recognize people. Although she did not have the spirit of youth, nor the gleaming posture, is no longer that pair of bright-eyed eyes, but she is able to see the world of good and bad, good and evil, beauty and ugliness. When she was young, her eyes used to be so clear, her mother was not stupid at all, whoever bullied her children, she fought with the bad guys to protect her children and grandchildren as well. Nowadays, Mother is aging as well. I often think of, mother young spirit extraordinary look, yearning for the breath of the year, but now, but nothing can be found, only that still in the cold immortal body. When you miss your mother, you will "always come home to see".
My father died early, February 23, 1988 due to illness, aged 54 years old, mother and my father was born in the same year, she lived 85 years old. I wrote a reminiscence article, "the heart is no longer my sun", included in my literary "blood washed heart" collection. In the national essay on loving mothers, I wrote "There is a mother in destiny", which won the first prize.
Now really pay tribute to the mother of the moment, such as if there is no rain accompaniment, naturally less bleak and sad. Listen, that pattering annoying rain, the whole world, are woven into the endless boundless grief and despair. The rain of this season should belong to the rain of longing, the rain of nostalgia. The heart of the season was frozen by the winter, with the rhythm of the rain knocking on the window pane, brushing the dust stained all over, into the long years of the alley, so that some of the lonely thoughts, in the spring to bloom fragrant buds.
It is still the first warm and cold season, the north wind wrapped in cold rain, with the breath of the long-lost, drenched in a ground of thoughts, points of grief in the rain in February days wantonly flooded. In the midst of the cold wind and rain, the white paper money is fluttering. In the smoke rising between the curves, the mother's kind smile appeared, the mother's familiar wrinkles are happily stretching. Suddenly, the breeze blew by, my mother's smile disappeared, or that hard as ice grave, so desperate across between me and my mother. My mother and I are separated by a pile of earth. However, I am so painfully awake, that is not a pile of soil distance, that is the distance between life and death is far away, is separated from the yin and yang can never see the distance.
If I could, I would like to use my own years of living in the world, in exchange for the reversal of time. I, still that carefree and ignorant teenager, but the green silk has become white temples, and mother, still patiently care for me, indulge in favor of my nesting old man. Just ah, I and how soberly aware of all the efforts, just a wishful dream, those distant times, those belonging to the mother once, fell in the depths of time serenity, joy and heartache, is no longer come back, and sleep in the grave of the mother, no longer possible to wake up.
I used my hand to carefully peel off the grave of the new soil, offer incense offerings, kneeling in reverence, the young son in my instructions to pray for the grandmother to rest in peace. I wanted to embrace that pile of cold yellow soil and wake up my sleeping mother: "Mother, why don't you get up? I'm hungry, cooking!" Mother could no longer cook for me, she was dead. When she was alive, I thought she was a burden, but when I really lost her, I missed her. Mother gently caressed my hair with her hand, grinning toothless mouth smiling from ear to ear, mother said, "My son is hungry, immediately give my son to cook and eat!" However ......
Another sunrise creeps up, thinking of the deceased mother, the heart is like fine linen, crispy messy pain. Fangfei Qingming Festival is coming soon, in the mother went soon, I have to embark on the road with the family to return to their hometowns to sweep the tomb. At that time, inevitably another kneeling, pain and howling.
Four
Once upon a time, Qingming's grave-sweeping, Yin and Yang have to hold a grand ceremony here to pay tribute to the ancestors, one by one in a courteous and orderly manner. In the past, it was the parents who led the younger generation on a pilgrimage to the gods of their ancestors, but today, the parents have become one of them. In addition to the sounds of the living, there is only the silence of the dead. Like these mountains, they have become the last nestle of the deceased mother. I don't dare to speak loudly and fiercely, and I don't dare to cry, I'm afraid that my clamor will wake up the mother who has just gone to sleep, the mother is too tired, let the mother have a good night's sleep.
People have gone, the fragrance as the old. Xu Lou village everywhere presents a gentle and smooth, calm and mellow tranquility. Perhaps, this is the model of the mother's life, only this kind of peace, can be rooted in the underground her tolerance, understanding, the best of the good.
Xu Lou Village, Yongzhuang squad southwest of the wheat fields, soil slopes, east and west of 30 miles more than 1,000 graves, there are many large and small wind mouth, to count the location of the mother's grave peace, when the most suitable resting place, known as feng shui treasure land. Mother lying in the wheat field, graves sparse, passing by the path around the grave, the wheat field is also very quiet, mother's grave is also very quiet, few people come here. Standing on the beam of the riverbank, I looked out and saw in the distance the embankment of the long, gently and gracefully curved river, dotted with stars and greens. Nearby, turquoise grass is scattered at your feet, enjoying the warmth of artemisia and spring water. This is Mother's resting place. It is a peaceful world, where everything shows an empty and clear spirit, such as gates, stones, weeds, fallen leaves, sheep, butterflies, dragonflies, birds, and even the sunshine, blue sky, white clouds and breeze, all of which carry a quiet and bright breath of life as they flit or jump from field to field, measuring the temperature of the water mist. It was pleasant to say goodbye to my mother's grave in the afterglow of sunset. When I look back again, my heart is suddenly struck by this peace, and I can hear the sound of splashing tears in my chest.
Beginning at the first sight, dying at the end of the old age, accompanied by the mother is the longest confession. Just like the little girl under the street lamp, mother with the fall leaves with me to fight, with the winter snowballs smash people, can be said to be happy to live to this day. She loved cleanliness and bathed twice a week in hot water. Every time she took a bath, she called me to rub her ashes, I took off my shoes and ran into the room where she was bathing with bare feet to help her bathe and rub her back. I didn't mind that my mother was dirty, and I carried the skinny mother like an eagle catching a chicken, then covered her with a towel and carried her into the sofa, like a little girl. Mother does not crave me for food. Whenever we had big fish, meat, ribs, roast goose and other delicious food, she made it for me to eat. When I shared them with her, she shook her head and said, "Toothless, afraid of being greasy and salty." Of course, at night, Niang also massaged my forehead with me; I suffered from insomnia and couldn't sleep with my eyes staring at the ceiling. Some people say that Chinese countryside movies are the most beautiful, then Niang is a feature-length TV series that touches Chinese people the most. From life to death, several rounds, one episode is better than the other.
In the morning, the thick mountain fog unveiled the curtain, covered with a layer of gold, flashing a different light. The path is winding, in the flow of years, each of them guarding the gods in their own hearts, living in peace with each other between the mountains and the water. Mountains and water, orderly fulfill their respective missions, harmonious and natural, and warmth. Here, all reflect the peace, quiet, holy, both the warmth of the earth, but also incense burning ethereal, but also the soul of the mother's burial place.
Mother was very lovely and dear. When she was alive, she often dreamed of the death of her own father and mother, fell into the water and drowned in the crazy brother and childhood succession to the aunt's home suffered from acute meningitis did not doctor's treatment of the death of her daughter called "color", and every time, the mother will be two tears in her eyes. Mother often said that she dreamed of seeing them, they were shouting at her, "color" hungry straight cry, mother more than once said they were over there is very poor. When we burned paper at the Ching Ming Festival, she would go with us in case we forgot to send them paper money. Every time, she never forgets to hide a firecracker in her pocket and set it off at the gravesite, calling out to the spirits of the dead to come and pick up the money. Mother was afraid that the paper money would not be enough to spend or would be taken away from her. It can be seen how heavy the mother's feelings of nostalgia are. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on some of the most popular products and services in the world, and you'll be able to do it all in one place.
The sunshine of the plains slowly melted the cold and bleak, in the afternoon, the distant blue sky, a silver airplane skimming, to the lonely landscape and wheat fields to add vitality. The boundless leaves flutter like butterflies, breaking free from the embrace of the trees, and plunging into the soil to be crushed into fragrant dust. As with the final destination of her life, she is calm and quiet.
The mother of God, who has been sleeping between the mountains, has a legend on the yellow genealogy of her family. I walked past my mother's cold grave, no words and no monument, I looked at my mother's short life for a long time. Infinitely hard-working, virtuous, kind mother, but now gone to the west, a handful of yellow earth buried mother's long life. I can see from the mother alive and resolute gaze, the mother has lived in the hearts of relatives. By the way, my mother can live to this point, is already a high life expectancy. Mother's gone, inevitably, can only be buried in the heart of love. People can not return to life, let her go, lest the relatives underground worry.
Five
There is a good song in the countryside: the trees want to be quiet, but the wind does not stop, turn is a lifetime; not in vain to come to this world, do not be too late to return the loved ones; long time no filial son in front of the bed, how solid reality; a thousand thousand love four words, and who can be a perfect interpretation; filial son of a bowl of water, better than the grave tons of ash; filial piety and respect for their loved ones Mo Mo Mo, do not take the loved ones as a burden; good and evil in the cycle of reincarnation, asking The song is the perfect illustration of this! The song is the one that inspires me to love my mother.
I have since lost my mother, lost forever, like the wind blowing the treetops, that is the rhythm of the mother, that is the mother's life of the last song, that last song, is a memory that we can never erase. Mother has gone, causing irreparable damage to our hearts, and we can only slowly wake up in the harsh winter, brewing a better life in the future.
Mother has gone, I lost the spiritual support. But when my mother was alive, I had already enjoyed my mother's love and had no regrets. The first time I saw a woman, I was in the middle of the night, I was in the middle of the night, I was in the middle of the night, I was in the middle of the night, I was in the middle of the night, and I was in the middle of the night. Here, I would like to thank my relatives, brother and sister-in-law, sister and brother-in-law, and other relatives for their selfless support, filial piety, and dedication to my mother. The mother's blessing, from everyone's understanding, support and concern, I believe that God has eyes, everyone will be blessed.
What I'm saying is, live in the present, except for birth, old age, sickness and death, all other things are trivial, only your life is the most precious in this world. No one cares if you are still alive or not, so everyone should be unconditionally confident and strive to live a longer, more elegant and meaningful life. A person's life is too short, and when you die you can't take anything with you; what you have at this moment is temporary possession, including your family and children. Everyone you see is desperately trying to act, essentially there is no difference with animals, so there is nothing in the world to be afraid of, be sure to live a wonderful life, be sure to let yourself go.
I think I can miss my mother, I have to live a few more days, until the end of life, a happy ending.
Time passes quietly, the next life may not meet again, leaving only memories. People only have this life, there is no afterlife. Don't always think that time is still early, don't always think that the age is still small, don't think again that there is no disaster or disease, life is unpredictable, the world is unpredictable, who can't control themselves, tomorrow and the accident, which one comes first, that one is late, the only thing we can do, is to live in the present. The only thing we can do is to live in the moment!
Writer's Introduction: Yin Tian Tian, pen name Yin Fu, ancestry Henan Xinyang Xixian. Zhumadian City Natural Resources and Planning Bureau civil servants, screen name over winter eagle, army regiment officer transferred, leisure read scripture and history. 2017 March to join the Chinese Prose Society, June 1996 to join the Henan Provincial Writers Association, the system of writers association chairman, vice chairman of the Xinyang Association of writers. Hundreds of novels and essays have been published on the Internet and in paper magazines, and have won several awards. He is the author of "Liang Shanbo and Zhu Yingtai episodes", "life speed", "the secret history of Mrs. Xi" and other books.