A widowed marriage means: I've married into a marriage, but my partner seems to have hiccuped and I'm the only one running the household.
Widowed marriages generally have the following characteristics, if your other half of the unfortunate are in, then this "name is actually" marriage is widowed.
This means that not only do you have to be beautiful, but you also have to earn money to support your family, and you may also need to support your children.
First, there is no ceremony for marriage. No sense of ceremony in marriage
My best friend Xiaolin had a fight with her husband last week because he didn't remember the anniversary of their wedding.
It's actually a really small thing, and it sounds so trivial to me.
But Xiaolin complained to me: "It's really not that I'm making a big deal out of it, he really doesn't remember all the holidays. But when it comes to Mother's Day and Father's Day or his parents' holidays, he rushes me to buy gifts for his parents."
I think a man remembers his parents' holidays, is a particularly good thing, at least filial piety.
"It's okay to say it's filial piety, but on the other hand, it's not that he can't remember the holidays at all, he just doesn't want to. Or rather, he simply doesn't think holidays about me are important at all." It made sense for Xiaolin to say that.
A man who can remember his parents' holidays but not his wife's birthday. At the very least, it would suggest that he's not having memory problems, but just purely doesn't want to remember.
In fact, it's not the little things that make Xiaolin sad, but the way her husband treats her.
Xiaolin's husband is always talking in front of her about how hard it was for his parents to bring him and his sister up, but every once in a while when Xiaolin suffers a little bit of aggravation, her husband will say that she's making a big deal out of it.
"I'm the one he's going to be with for the rest of his life, aren't I? Why can't he just be a little bit mindful of me?"
A husband refuses to give love but always asks his wife to give back to the family wholeheartedly. She is asked to be virtuous, she is asked to be a hard worker, and she is asked to make money to support the family.
In the face of Xiaolin's anger, I always felt that such a marriage should not last long, right?
Sure enough, it didn't take long for Xiaolin to file for divorce from her husband.
Second.
Before Xiaolin's divorce, she also told us a particularly strange thing.
Her mother-in-law wanted her to take time off work to go to Thailand with her, and it was only after she went there that she realized that her mother-in-law was treating her like a mobile cash machine.
It cost her twenty thousand dollars for a seven-day trip.
Later, she withdrew 10,000 dollars herself to buy gifts for her family and friends at home, and on the first day back her husband began to ask her, "In addition to the 20,000 spent by my mom, where did you spend that 10,000 dollars?"
After getting married, the family's daily expenses are Xiaolin's own money, her husband does not pay.
It is to buy a fruit to rub Xiaoling's, and now Xiaoling invited her mom is not enough, her husband also want to manage her own money spent.
These men have very strange requirements, they make their own money and spend it themselves, and their wives make money and spend it for me.
Anyway, in this family, he has no responsibility to manage your daily diet on the right.
In the widowed husband's eyes: my money is my money, does not belong to the marriage *** with the property; but your money is my money, that belongs to the couple *** with the property.
For them, the wife must be all-powerful: to be on the hall, down to the kitchen, write a code, check out exceptions, kill the Trojan horse, turn over the fence, open up a good car, afford a new house, fight over the second wife, fight over the hooligans.
The third way to get the most out of your work is to use your computer to help you get the most out of your work. Not give you spiritual support
Which is the most terrible man?
It is that he himself is not well, and does not want you to be well.
There is a bowl you can not wash clean, is that you are not good enough wife and mother, sloppy to the extreme.
Come home a little later, you are not doing your job as a wife, and you are spending a lot of time around.
If you don't take out your pocket money, you are being selfish.
To put it bluntly, in this family, if you don't go along with his wishes, you are said to be useless and not worthy of anyone's love.
The logic of people like them is: it's not that I don't love you, it's that you're not good enough to deserve my love.
In the face of this kind of man who often hit you, over time you will begin to inferiority complex, mistakenly believe that they are really nothing.
In fact, every person in the world has their own good side bad side, how can a person only bad no good?
Last year, there was a very hot news, Jiangbei a 30-year-old woman suffering from post-partum depression, holding less than 100 days child jumped to his death.
A few days before her death, she had confided in her husband that she was in pain and was going to get depressed.
But her husband said: "Other people when a mom are happy, how you are so pretentious."
Pretentiousness is what he said about his wife.
Seriously, these men should be allowed to have a baby.
In fact, whether you're a friend, a lover, or a couple, choose to be with someone you feel comfortable with, and try to stay away from anyone who makes you feel like "you're not good enough".
Imagine if you can't even give yourself the confidence to spend the rest of your life with someone who can give you the courage to face life.
Not all the sentences complimenting you are out of love, but a person who loves you will not be able to resist appreciating your beauty from the bottom of his heart.
And also try to try to understand your decisions.
At least learn to love someone who makes you feel "I'm worth it", not someone who makes you feel "I'm not worth it" all the time.
Fourth.
Everyone knows that having a baby is painful, and even more painful than having a baby is having a weak body and struggling to get up to take care of the baby.
Men always say that they are too busy to take care of their children.
In fact, it is all false.
You can see that during the World Cup, no matter how many hours they can get up to watch the game, and the next day they still go to work in good spirits.
This point at least shows that it's not that they don't have the means to get up in the middle of the night to feed the baby, it's just that they feel from the bottom of their hearts that it's not my responsibility to do so.
The widowed partner sees himself as a "high-level sperm bank" who has done his duty by giving a sperm or two to the family, and shouldn't be asked to do anything else for the family.
One of the things that Xiaoling often mentioned to me before she got divorced was that her husband didn't help with the household chores.
At one point, Xiaolin mentioned how hard it would be to have a baby and raise it.
Her husband made light of the situation and said, "Who hasn't done this before?"
I don't know if these men know how painful labor can be.
The pain felt by humans is categorized into 12 levels, and the higher the level, the greater the feeling of pain.
The first level of mosquito bites, hardly felt; and the ninth level for the tiger bench, Zha Zhi Zhu and other ten Manchu Manchu torture pain;
12th level, is the pain of childbirth.
The medical profession has a more direct statement: the human body can only withstand a maximum of 45 (units) of pain, but in childbirth, a woman suffers up to 57 (units) of pain.
That is, the pain of childbirth is the equivalent of 20 bones breaking at once.
After experiencing such pain, shouldn't a man feel sorry for his wife?
Why can't they even do that with a small child?
Fifth.
On the first anniversary of her marriage, Xiaoling received a gift from her husband, which was a sweeping robot.
She was not happy to receive such a gift.
Since when did housework become a woman's responsibility alone?
Usually, when you come home from work, your husband will start playing games when you lie down on the bed, and you will be blind to the piles of housework.
Xiaoling got up early to make breakfast, and her husband was not doing a good job.
By the end of the week, Xiaoru's husband even asked her: "In the future, Monday through Friday you clean up our home, to the weekend you have to clean up my parents' home."
Why? You're working, I'm working, you're a big man and you're not broken, so why do I have to do everything by myself?
According to the data, Chinese men's housework time is at the bottom of the global list, while Chinese women's employment rate is as high as 70%.
In other words, not only do our women have to be on their own at work, but they also have to be on their own at home to make sure their family is well looked after.
What does this mean?
Last year, more than 80% of divorce proceedings in Shaanxi Province were initiated by women.
What does this prove?
It proves that many women have realized that marriage is a losing proposition for women.
The family and the career are both important, and the children have to be brought up on their own. The lack of a husband's role in the family makes the existence of such a widowed marriage dispensable.
China's gender ratio last year showed that there were 33.59 million more men than women!
This means that women will have more priority than men when it comes to choosing a significant other.
If men don't realize the error of their widowed behavior, it will be harder for these inactive husbands to get wives in the future.
There's never an answer to what kind of husband a woman should marry, but there's a good quote from Zhihu:
Graduate from college at 22, get a new job at 24, start talking about marriage or dating at 26, have a baby at 30, and then your own life is over until your TA goes to college.
At 48 the kids leave home, you and your husband don't have much to talk about anymore, and at 55 you take care of your health, go to the morning market, square dance, and start bringing up the grandkids in your 60s.
Thankfully that person wasn't me.
Hey, how are you? I'm He Dekai, known as Uncle Kai, and I'm the oldest handsome uncle in the 90s.
I'm an emotional inspirational writer, I've published four books, and I've written a lot of heartwarming short stories and emotional articles.
I opened a small company, traveled to dozens of cities, and also loved a few people, although all love and did not get, but still believe that there will always be a person in the future love me.
This article is the exclusive work of Kaiyue Culture, plagiarism must be investigated.
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