If such a sentence comes from a girl's mouth, when you finish listening to this sentence, will you think that this girl is too much?
But I understand her very well.
Everyone says that women who can coquetry have the best life, but most of the time, what we see is the fate of those girls who can coquetry; In this world, there are also such girls; Maybe you are one of the people reading a bedtime story.
If you are hungry, you don't play the coquetry. You just know to buy things and go home to cook for yourself. When you get lost, you don't know to look at the map yourself. You like a man who won't take the initiative but only waits for a spare tire. When you are sad, you will not be weak. You will only smile and turn your back on the person you love and secretly cry. You may be no worse than or even better than girls who can act like a spoiled brat. However, you always choose to be strong.
If we go into their hearts, we may understand that those girls who try to be brave are actually weak, and they are also looking forward to someone who can see through their pretence of being strong and then give her the warmest hug.
0 1.
H is one of my few female friends and a high school classmate in the class next door to my high school. She is also a Libra. What impressed me most was that she had long hair, which was later cut short.
After so many years, she said that my personality has changed a lot, but in my opinion, her personality is the same as when I first met her. She likes gossiping and peeking at handsome guys, but she is a tough guy.
Our friendship has always been maintained, probably because on the same issue, we can always "share the same enemy."
In 2007, I met H because she had a crush on my good friend.
Xiao Nan, a sports student who practices Taekwondo in our class. Gao Zi is not tall. He smiles with tiger teeth and has long hair. He runs on the court and looks more sunny and handsome than other teenagers against the background of the campus.
Every day, H will sit by the bed in the classroom, waiting to see Xiao Nan ride by the bed. Because I don't know the time when Xiao Nan passes by the window, H will go to the classroom early and wait. When Xiao Nan comes by bike, he will immediately bury his head and pretend to be doing his homework. When he passes by, he will secretly see his distant figure.
Time may be too long, so long that I can't remember why the three of us are always inseparable. Xiao Nan is careless, always playing with H as a buddy. No matter whether H is happy or not, he always looks ashamed. That would be especially popular with locked notebooks. I know that H's notebooks are full of secret love for Xiao Nan.
One day, Xiao Nan told H that he fell in love with a schoolmate at the same school. I still vaguely remember H's expression at that time, paused for a moment, then squeezed out a full-faced smile and said, "You are out of your mind. If you like it, pursue it. I'll help you write a love letter to tease that girl. " There was a ring at the bell I'll go back to the classroom first. H walked into the classroom without looking back.
Later, Xiao Nan really got together with that girl. Xiao Nan patted H on the shoulder and introduced to her junior: This is my best friend. H said: Yes, we are best friends.
That night, H went to the bar with me for the first time. H yelled at me with a bottle of snowflakes: "How could it be that woman?" Affectionate, artificial and angry, it's disgusting! Who is his best friend? I didn't! Don't!
That night, H was as drunk as a fiddler. That year, it was probably the first time I knew what "what I want is not".
Later, H kept the habit of going to the classroom early, or sat by the window at ordinary times, or watched Xiao Nan ride away in the background.
Later, Xiao Nan frequently changed girls around her, but every girl was gentle and honest. According to H, she would be called another slut. Only H has been by Xiao Nan's side.
That year, H cut off his long hair for more than ten years.
Only then did I understand why H had to cut off his long hair. A girl's favorite long hair has been cut off, so there is nothing to give up.
02.
20 10, before H went abroad, I promised H to fly back to Changchun to see her off.
At the customs security checkpoint, H takes out a notebook with a lock from his bag.
Say: help me keep it.
I said, haven't you been carrying this stupid thing all these years? Besides, where are the keys to your notebook?
H shook his head and said, no, I can't wait, so I'll leave my memory at home. I left my keys in the bar that year.
I said, if you like him, tell him. It's been years.
H told me: we can never wake a person who pretends to sleep, just as we can never touch someone who doesn't love ourselves. Why bother? You embarrass yourself and make others sick.
I said, where is he? Why don't you come to see you off?
H said: He said he was on a business trip today, so that's ok.
I said; H, will coquetry kill you?
H dragged the box into the security checkpoint, shook his hand behind me, and said without looking back, let him take care of himself, and you too.
The saddest girl I have ever seen has never shed a tear.
That day, Xiao Nan didn't show up. I called him, and he watched Those Years in a private cinema.
I said: she said to let you take care of yourself.
Xiao Nan didn't look up: Why didn't she tell me herself?
I said: after so many years, what are you pretending to be stupid?
He shook his head: I just don't want to have no friends.
I said: Do you love her?
Xiao Nan was silent. ...
03.
On 20 15, h suddenly returned to China and flew to Nanjing, saying that he had not seen me for a long time and wanted to visit me in Nanjing. After meeting her at the airport, we went directly to the bar. The telephone number was 19 12.
After chatting for more than half a night, she took out a test sheet from her bag and pushed it in front of me, telling me lightly: malignant brain tumor.
My brain is buzzing.
I said, does Xiao Nan know? I called him.
H was silent for a while and said, I don't know. I won't let him know.
I said: Tomorrow we will go to the hospital in Nanjing. Really can't. We will go to Shanghai.
H continued to be silent and said, look, I will go back to Changchun tomorrow.
I said: What's next?
H said: I want to accompany him to treat the disease.
I really can't continue to control my emotions and say: Everything will be fine.
H said: Maybe.
Then she said: You see, the closest thing to death is not the test paper, but I know I want to say goodbye to him.
If I leave one day, I will leave that diary to Xiao Nan. At least he's got it.
When you leave, you must hug for a while, because every parting may become a farewell to each other.
04.
From June 2065438 to June 2006, the phoenix bloomed all over Nanjing, and I was in a bad mood, because this return trip was H's funeral.
After the funeral, Xiao Nan and I stood in front of the grave. I took out my old notebook and handed it to Xiao Nan.
I said: the notebook that H left for you.
Xiao Nan stared at the stone tablet and took out a silver necklace from her chest. The pendant of the necklace is a key that has lost its color. H left the key in the bar. "Let's have a look."
I didn't refuse.
September 2007
If you know me well, you will understand that I am upset with you today because I want to give you a sense of existence. I deliberately said a lot of sarcastic words to get your attention. You know, those insincere, unkind words and embarrassing disgust for you are all things I can't say I like about you.
June 2007 10
I know why I love recess practice so much, because standing in the queue, I can see you in the queue, and I enjoy looking at you from an undiscovered angle.
June 2007 10
I stand next to you, but I feel there is a coastline in the middle.
20071October
I always pretend to ride in the same car as you, but when I get to the station, I have to change a long way. Maybe not too long, but I know that you are not on this road.
2007 1 October1
He has a girlfriend, not me.
……
February 2008 1 1
I really don't like you at all, so let you follow the winter wind. Maybe you can catch the next snowflake flying all over the sky, illuminated by the orange street lamp that shines slightly at dusk, and slowly fall and melt. Just like when I first met you, my heart was pounding wildly, and then it was melted by your casual smile.
May 2009 1
I missed you after drinking too much last night, but I woke up today and found that it seems to have nothing to do with drinking too much.
June 3, 2065 438+00
It is becoming more and more difficult for me to express my feelings, not because I dare not love you because of my life experiences, but because I am more afraid of losing you forever after many experiences.
June 4, 2065 438+00
We have known each other for a long time and become more and more strangers.
June 7, 2065 438+00
H, you keep telling yourself that when you have enough disappointment, you will start a new life. Since you want to save enough disappointment, why don't you tell him?
20 10 July 1
Ignore me for a long time, and suddenly send me a lot of inexplicable videos and say a lot of messy words. Why? I didn't reply to you, but I really want to reply to you: I miss you too.
July 7, 2065 438+00
Xiao Nan, have you ever thought of a home? I thought about it.
When you close the door, you will find a sofa occupying half of the living room. The cushion is not very high, but it must be soft. The pot in the kitchen gurgled, and the fragrance of ribs soup floated out of the pot, with a faint aroma.
It was getting dark, and the city was reflected on the glass by the light of the stars. I put down my book sandals and ran to close the curtains.
Suddenly the door opened with a click, and you came in with a cold air and said with a smile, "I'm back."
I walked over and hugged you, as if I hugged the whole world.
……
I can't stand it any longer. Xiao Nan's eyes welled up with tears. This is the first time I have seen Xiao Nan cry. Xiao Nan knelt in front of H's tombstone and said: H I love you, I love you, I love you!
The cattail grass in front of the grave that day was rustled by the wind. H, is that you? The sun shone on your tombstone that day, and you never smiled so sweetly in the photo.
No matter how beautiful the photos are and how gentle the sunshine is, Xiao Nan and I both know that they have become memories that will eventually be buried in the loess.
A pile of loess in front of that grave buried H's youth, Xiao Nan's missed love, and all my memories of H.
This is a story about H, and it is also a story that an ordinary girl can't be spoiled.
Girls who can't be spoiled have too much to say in their world. I really miss you. Can you spend more time with me? Can you stay? Can you not go? I really cannot live without you, so please don't leave me. The last thing that choked me was: get out, it doesn't matter, I can do it alone, and it's okay to have a dog.
A girl who won't be spoiled, I hope someone can see through your bluff and give you the warmest hug.