Homophone jokes
1. A soldier asked the company commander: What should I do if I step on a landmine during combat? The company commander was very angry: Damn, what can we do? If you step on it, you will be compensated according to the price.
2. Woman: "As long as you have money, I can marry anyone." Man: "Will you marry a bank safe?"
3. Patient: "Doctor , you left the scissors in my stomach. ""It doesn't matter, I still have one."
4. Two counterfeiters accidentally made counterfeit bills with a face value of 15 yuan, and they decided to do so. They took it to remote mountainous areas to spend. When they took a 15-yuan piece and bought 1-yuan candied haws, they cried, and the farmer gave them two 7-yuan pieces.
5. The minimum standard for a college student; a peasant woman, a mountain spring, and a bit of land
7. I said you are a pig, and you would be weird if you said: I am a pig. From now on I will call you "weird pig"! Finally one day, you couldn't help shouting to everyone: It's weird that I'm not a pig!
8.Judge: Why do you print counterfeit money? The defendant said innocently: Because I can't print real money.
9. Thief A: "Quickly count how much money you robbed today?" Thief B: "No, you will know after reading the newspaper tomorrow."
10 .The sun was really nice last night.
11. One day, a rich man wanted to buy a car, but he was hesitant because the car dealer did not have an auspicious license plate number. The owner of the car dealership came over and said with a smile: "This license plate is good 00544 (let me try it). I guarantee that no one will dare to mess with it. It's not bad!"
The rich man was moved and bought the car immediately, but there was a car accident the next day. The rich man got out of the car angrily, thinking that you dared to hit this car, but when he got out of the car, he immediately became disappointed. After leaving, it turned out that the other party’s license plate was 44944 (just try it).
Homophonous sayings for resting words
Green onions mixed with tofu - Fried tofu with one clear (green) and two white pickles - You Yan (salt) comes first
Nephew lights a lantern ——As usual (uncle) Put lime on your mouth——Baishuo (brush)
Hardcover Maotai——Long time (wine) Zhu Bajie takes pictures——asking for embarrassment (watch)
Huai There is a small bag inside - Shu (comb) the heart Xiao Su's father - Laoshu (Su)
Four taels of cotton - Tan (play) cannot go to Liangshan Bo Military Advisor - Wu (Wu) Use
One, two, three, five, six—nothing (four)
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven—the king (forgot) eight, (I dislike people who only read seven! )
One foot two plus eight feet - rely on (two feet)
An ink fountain pops up two lines - the wrong way of thinking (silk)
One pound Spreading flour into cakes - falling behind (thick branding)
Plunging into the charcoal pile - mold (coal) reaches the top
Steaming a longevity peach with one hundred kilograms of flour - waste (cost) ) snacks
A jacket made of one layer of cloth - it's all inside anyway, (who has the most right to wear this jacket?)
One leg of trousers - Become a group (skirt)
Light a lamp with a lamp grass - Wuduxin (core)
Be a widow for the rest of your life - veteran (guard), (the "widows for life" on the Internet are all
Who are they? >
Two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight and nine - Lack of clothes (1) Lack of food
Two taels of cotton and four bows - Talking in details (play)
The second girl combed her hair - - No need (play)
Erhuqin - talk about it (play), (just like the "KMT" and "
unification and independence" wars on the Internet) < /p>
Twelve hours account for three characters - Shen (Shen) and Zixu (Xu)
The eighteen-year-old Gong'e - is enjoying happiness (thinking about her husband)
One penny dropped from ten pennies - long heard (nine articles)
Moonlight on the 15th day of the year - a lot of (bright)
Mulberry leaves in October - who will pay attention (Pick) you, (the best way to deal with smoke bait)
The eighty-year-old woman yawned - endless (teeth) as far as the eye can see
Walnuts in August - Crowded with people (benevolence)
Eight hundred copper coins in a string - out of tune (hanging)
Ask the Double Ninth Festival on the eighth day of September - soon (nine)
Cut the Lantern Festival with a knife - not willing (yuan)
Wearing single clothes for three-nine days - Wei (fear) wind
Thirty years of weaving mother - Laoyou ( Zhi) Mouth, (how do you comment on the old cicada that sticks to the Internet?)
Three dollars to buy a cow's belly - noisy (grass), (the stomach in this cow dung shop is not good
There are many people there)
Three Bodhisattva Halls - Miao Miao Miao (Miao Miao Miao)
The three-foot long ladder - cannot reach the eaves (eaves) ), (I feel this way about many topics)
Three cents plus one cent - fashionable (four cents)
Willows in March - exceptionally green (pro)< /p>
Born in the middle of the night - killing people
A cart pulling pancakes - there are many greedy ones
Barley dropped in the mess - - Busy (mang) clueless
Filling holes in the Tutu Hall - not good (repairing the temple)
Tudi Lord sits on the scale - Zhicheng (self-proclaimed)
The Tutu Lord is sitting in the jail - working hard
The Tutu Lord washes his face - losing (wet) face
The Tutu Lord falls into the well - he is not working (fishing) Get up and drive
The internal organs of the land lord - solid (stone) heart and solid (stone) intestines
The land lord wears plain clothes - white running (robe)
Tu Xing'er - a bitter boy (core) child
A local silkworm gets into a peanut shell - pretending to be a good person (benevolence)
Not holding an umbrella when it rains - stingy (getting wet)
The sun comes out on a rainy day - fake love (clear)
Not wearing a hat on a rainy day - the sun shines on your head
A gown two feet wide - - Big swing (waist) swagger
Going to the chicken coop and throwing tendons - stupid (running) eggs
Rolling stones on the mountain - solid (stone) hitting solid (stone)< /p>
Blowing the trumpet on the mountaintop - the sound of the name (singing) is far away
The walnuts of Shanxi - hiding people (Manren)
Blowing the drum in the valley - recalling ( ring)
>The thousand-year-old dry temple - silent (monks), (it is said that there are many temple visitors here, but few chanting sutras?)
The door god rolls the stove god - there are words (paintings) in the words (paintings)< /p>
The door god eats sugar cane--gives advice (paper chewing)
Slaps on horseback--too far off topic (hoof)
Hunches his waist and showers Heavy rain - when carrying (wet)
Adzuki beans make dry rice - always stewed
The little monk swatted flies on his head - upright (beat) bright, (need this online Advocate
This style of play)
The small stove turns over - unlucky (coal)
The little stove maker wears glasses - looks for us (ballast), ( There are many professional short-sighted craftsmen on the Internet)
The little girl combs her hair by herself (braiding), (this seems to be the best comment on the Internet regulations!)
Mixed with green onions Tofu - one clear (green) and two white
Eat in a small bowl - rely on the sky (Tim)
Hang a thermos bottle on the plane - high level (bottle), (especially some Poetry)
Blowing the trumpet on the plane--fantasy (loud)
Set off firecrackers on the plane--think (loud) high
Homophone couplet
The spider under the eaves has a heart full of silk
The earthworm in front of the courtyard is full of mud
The first couplet: "Silk" is a joke of "private".
Second line: "Ni" is a homologue of "suspicious", pronounced in dialect.
The lotus root is obtained because of the lotus
There are apricots and plum blossoms
The first couplet: the lotus "he", the lotus root "even".
Second line: apricot is "lucky" and plum is "matchmaker".
Playing chess to find the path of the chess piece last night
Seeing Yan Hui in the mirror today
Zilu, a disciple of Confucius, can also be interpreted as "the number of chess pieces."
Yan Hui, a disciple of Confucius, also refers to "the true appearance of the face."
There were knots before they were unearthed
And at Lingyun, Shang Xingxing
Use the bamboo to chant things and express his ambitions.
The millet is blooming and the seams are yellow.
The lotus root is broken and the silk is flying
The first couplet is a phoenix.
The second couplet is about egrets.
Confucius was born at the end of the Zhou Dynasty
The dance of light began in Hanzhong
First couplet: Zhou "Zhou".
Second couplet: Dance "Martial Arts".
The modest bamboo has lower-headed leaves
The proud plum has no upward-facing flowers
The rain sprinkles ashes and piles pockmarks
The wind blows the lotus leaves like turtles
First couplet: Cheng Xie (Chen).
Second line: Xiangxie (direction).
Homophone poem:
Yangliu Branch Wen Tingyun
Lighting a lamp at the bottom of the well, deep in the candlelight, the wise man is always playing chess instead of playing chess. (Candle - Promise, Go - Default)
The exquisite dice and the red beans make me miss you deeply.
Bamboo Branches Liu Yuxi
The willows are green and the Qingjiang River is level, and I can hear the singing on the Langjiang River.
The sun rises in the east and rains in the west. There is no sunshine but there is sunshine. (Qing-qing)